Guest guest Posted April 10, 2011 Report Share Posted April 10, 2011 Hi, My daughter will be 13 next month and she was just diagnosed with Asperger. She was diagnosed as ADD in 2nd grade and has always been different than her peers. This year the traits have really come out. I am guessing her body is making new hormones causing her personality to change. My daughter has forgotten how to have a simple conversation on the phone and you can forget the idea of trying to have a conversation at school with her peers. She either does not respond at all to her classmates, or will answer with one word answers. It is so hard since I teach at her school and see this happen on a daily basis. I have noticed that she loves talking to other teachers and young children. Does anyone else's child/spouse experience this? My 12 year old doesn't know how to handle her anger so she is becoming violent. She hit my 10 year old so hard she knocked a tooth out, bites her sister, got a knife and scrapped up my kitchen cabinets and cut her hair (and she has no talent with that)! I am afraid to leave her alone with her sister, but hate to get a babysitter when I haven't needed one in years! I asked my daughter's counselor if family counseling would help, but she said right now it would not. I have been to one parent group and will go back next month. I am in need for some ideas! My husband and I are arguing more now, and my other daughter who is 10 isn't helping. She is constantly calling my elder daughter a loser and laughs at her. Needless to say I am going insane! At school she is the model student, straight A's in all advanced classes. She does not interact with anyone, but is brilliant and with no behavior problems. I just ordered two books on Amazon about girls with Aspergers, but any advice you have learned I would truly appreciate it. My family is so stressed with this behavior I am afraid my marriage will not survive. Thank you so much, Stefanie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2011 Report Share Posted April 11, 2011 I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Can these kids become worse as they get older? I ask this because our soon to be 9 year old daughter is starting to seem quite forgetful. If you tell her something she'll say "opps, I forgot". The family is noticing other things from her that seems like she's getting worse as she gets older. Is this possible? She also has no interest in her looks. She doesn't care what her hair looks like and won't even look in the mirror to see what her hair looks like after I've done it for her. I don't think she's afraid of the mirror, I just think she doesn't care. Can it really be possible for them to get worse? How do you compare your daughter now to when she was 8 or 9? ~* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2011 Report Share Posted April 11, 2011 wierd but it happens, i guess, like delaina, good student but when at home... From: stefanieobrien47 <stefanieobrien47@...>Subject: ( ) Losing my mind! Date: Sunday, April 10, 2011, 9:57 PM Hi,My daughter will be 13 next month and she was just diagnosed with Asperger. She was diagnosed as ADD in 2nd grade and has always been different than her peers. This year the traits have really come out. I am guessing her body is making new hormones causing her personality to change. My daughter has forgotten how to have a simple conversation on the phone and you can forget the idea of trying to have a conversation at school with her peers. She either does not respond at all to her classmates, or will answer with one word answers. It is so hard since I teach at her school and see this happen on a daily basis. I have noticed that she loves talking to other teachers and young children. Does anyone else's child/spouse experience this?My 12 year old doesn't know how to handle her anger so she is becoming violent. She hit my 10 year old so hard she knocked a tooth out, bites her sister, got a knife and scrapped up my kitchen cabinets and cut her hair (and she has no talent with that)! I am afraid to leave her alone with her sister, but hate to get a babysitter when I haven't needed one in years! I asked my daughter's counselor if family counseling would help, but she said right now it would not. I have been to one parent group and will go back next month. I am in need for some ideas! My husband and I are arguing more now, and my other daughter who is 10 isn't helping. She is constantly calling my elder daughter a loser and laughs at her. Needless to say I am going insane! At school she is the model student, straight A's in all advanced classes. She does not interact with anyone, but is brilliant and with no behavior problems. I just ordered two books on Amazon about girls with Aspergers, but any advice you have learned I would truly appreciate it. My family is so stressed with this behavior I am afraid my marriage will not survive.Thank you so much,Stefanie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2011 Report Share Posted April 11, 2011 For me, it does get worse, unfortunately in some ways. My 14 yr. old is much bigger now, so it is hard for me to do a single thing with a child who is exactly my size and just as strong. I just keep trying to communicate and communicate; " Please let me help you.. I just want to offer you tips that can help you to make your life less difficult. Please. " But it's so hard to get a 14 yr. old to even slow down long enough to listen.. and then things don't *stick* for long. I keep thinking that as tragic as it is, I'm afraid my daughter is going to learn a lot of the hardest lessons of life through suffering. With her brain and what she deals with, it's as if she has to be burned or shocked by situations in life to have lessons stick. Reminds me of animal level where instinct is what is strongest.. no matter how much the kid wants to believe they have values and feel strongly about doing what's right.. instinct and impulse are so dominant in them, it nearly rules them. I just keep trying to instill strong values so that she feels a passion to do what's right on her own.. and hopefully by the time she leaves home(if she can).. she will resist the urges that could destroy her life as an adult. Blessings to all.. > > I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Can these kids become worse as they > get older? I ask this because our soon to be 9 year old daughter is > starting to seem quite forgetful. If you tell her something she'll say " opps, I > forgot " . The family is noticing other things from her that seems like > she's getting worse as she gets older. Is this possible? She also has no > interest in her looks. She doesn't care what her hair looks like and won't > even look in the mirror to see what her hair looks like after I've done it > for her. I don't think she's afraid of the mirror, I just think she doesn't > care. Can it really be possible for them to get worse? How do you > compare your daughter now to when she was 8 or 9? > > > ~* > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 i can relate to what your saying my boyfriend son 15 i help raise i treat him if he mine but,it's a very hard road his mother not around so im closest thing he has to one i hope in time the the family therapy will help.I do worry about him as adult . i wish you luck i need luck also just want to say i understand losing you mind part some ppl say i shouldnt feel this way because i'm not his real mom but,i'm very involved in raising him were very close i just want what best for him. From: miriamand4 <amycall@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Losing my mind! Date: Tuesday, April 12, 2011, 5:25 AM For me, it does get worse, unfortunately in some ways. My 14 yr. old is much bigger now, so it is hard for me to do a single thing with a child who is exactly my size and just as strong. I just keep trying to communicate and communicate; "Please let me help you.. I just want to offer you tips that can help you to make your life less difficult. Please." But it's so hard to get a 14 yr. old to even slow down long enough to listen.. and then things don't *stick* for long. I keep thinking that as tragic as it is, I'm afraid my daughter is going to learn a lot of the hardest lessons of life through suffering. With her brain and what she deals with, it's as if she has to be burned or shocked by situations in life to have lessons stick. Reminds me of animal level where instinct is what is strongest.. no matter how much the kid wants to believe they have values and feel strongly about doing what's right.. instinct and impulse are so dominant in them, it nearly rules them. I just keep trying to instill strong values so that she feels a passion to do what's right on her own.. and hopefully by the time she leaves home(if she can).. she will resist the urges that could destroy her life as an adult. Blessings to all.. > > I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Can these kids become worse as they > get older? I ask this because our soon to be 9 year old daughter is > starting to seem quite forgetful. If you tell her something she'll say "opps, I > forgot". The family is noticing other things from her that seems like > she's getting worse as she gets older. Is this possible? She also has no > interest in her looks. She doesn't care what her hair looks like and won't > even look in the mirror to see what her hair looks like after I've done it > for her. I don't think she's afraid of the mirror, I just think she doesn't > care. Can it really be possible for them to get worse? How do you > compare your daughter now to when she was 8 or 9? > > > ~* > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 My daughter too loves to talk to adults about her interests. The more urgent problem seems like the outbursts and agression at her sister. What is recommended for kids with AS/autism or oppositional behavior/ADHD is a behavior chart with points to earn TV/computer all rewards. So if your daughters are respectful to each other they earn an hour of TV/computer/electronic game or points toward something they like. If they act up they don't earn points. At first I had the day divided into hours, now I have computer time earned in the AM and after dinner (for 12-6 behavior). Kids with ADHD or AS don't respond to reasoning because they are so much in the moment and have poor self control especially at home for the As KIDS. You have to get the aggression under control. Try to stop the escalation of rage, by stopping your AS daughter when she starts to yell. Once yelling starts I bet it escalates to rage very quickly. My daughter is 13, we have her on a low dose of an antidepressant she just was too irritable to reason with or use a behavior chart. The stress build of the school day was so high once she was out of school look out ..major aggression ... We had to add more accomodations at school to reduce stress too. Pam > > Hi, > > My daughter will be 13 next month and she was just diagnosed with Asperger. She was diagnosed as ADD in 2nd grade and has always been different than her peers. This year the traits have really come out. I am guessing her body is making new hormones causing her personality to change. > > My daughter has forgotten how to have a simple conversation on the phone and you can forget the idea of trying to have a conversation at school with her peers. She either does not respond at all to her classmates, or will answer with one word answers. It is so hard since I teach at her school and see this happen on a daily basis. I have noticed that she loves talking to other teachers and young children. Does anyone else's child/spouse experience this? > > My 12 year old doesn't know how to handle her anger so she is becoming violent. She hit my 10 year old so hard she knocked a tooth out, bites her sister, got a knife and scrapped up my kitchen cabinets and cut her hair (and she has no talent with that)! I am afraid to leave her alone with her sister, but hate to get a babysitter when I haven't needed one in years! > > I asked my daughter's counselor if family counseling would help, but she said right now it would not. I have been to one parent group and will go back next month. I am in need for some ideas! > > My husband and I are arguing more now, and my other daughter who is 10 isn't helping. She is constantly calling my elder daughter a loser and laughs at her. Needless to say I am going insane! > > At school she is the model student, straight A's in all advanced classes. She does not interact with anyone, but is brilliant and with no behavior problems. I just ordered two books on Amazon about girls with Aspergers, but any advice you have learned I would truly appreciate it. My family is so stressed with this behavior I am afraid my marriage will not survive. > > Thank you so much, > Stefanie > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2011 Report Share Posted April 13, 2011 With my daughter she's very easy going, willing to please in any way. She cries over the slightest thing. I've noticed a lot of the kids have outbursts and have some aggression, she doesn't at all. You can tell when she starts to get frustrated because her eyes will tear up. I'm not sure if she's getting worse or if she's just getting older and we're noticing it more. I realized the other day that a little girl she use to play with at school won't talk to her anymore. I noticed this at parent pick up when the little girl walked right passed her and didn't even look at her. I asked her if they were friends and she said she doesn't play with her anymore. It also seems like her memory is getting worse. She's always saying "opps, I forgot" or "I can't remember". I think this was our first sign that she was getting worse. ~* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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