Question about school

[Guest guest]

My son (6 1/2) is in K. When he was dx'ed as Aspie by Children's Hospital, we

were warned that because of his cognitive abilities we would have to be vigilant

to get services from the school system. We have an IEP in place, and he

receives services under the Autism category.

The thing is, everytime I raise an issue to his teachers, I'm summarily

dismissed with some generic complement such as:

I say, " how is he doing socially? "

They say, " he is a joy in the classroom. "

I say, " he seems to be out of his chair alot more than others. "

They say, " no more than the other Kindergarten boys. "

I say, " he's using the bathroom alot "

They say, " we haven't noticed. I'd say he doesn't use it more than anyone

else. "

I say, " what pragmatic language skills is he learning. "

They say, " we talk about our weekends during circle time and he does a wonderful

job of expressing himself & asking pertinent questions. "

I say, " how is he doing processing auditory information. "

They say, " Wonderful, he is such an eager learner! "

I guess those are enough examples. I can't believe I'm complaining about being

told my son is " a ray of sunshine in the classroom. " I've observed in the

classroom, though, and it is NOT all hearts and flowers. It seems obvious to me

that I am asking the wrong questions, or not requesting the right things. The

only next step that I see is for me to observe a whole school day & document

every little thing I see that is wrong. Then, provide the school with my

written observations & request that they respond in writing. Is there another

way to do this? I really don't want to piss off his teachers, or the school.

But, I feel like both he and I are being swept under the rug. Any ideas?

Again, I can't believe I am complaining about them telling me that my son is

wonderful --- it is just that I know he is a wonderful child WITH AUTISM and

that he SHOULD BE getting more services.

Any thoughts?

--

[Guest guest]

, I think the answer to your question depends on a few things. I mean, how are his grades?? How is his behavior when he arrives home from school? Are there things that they are learning that he doesn't seem to get?? Does he have a lot of anxiety?? Things like that... If he is having a hard time in any area I would push for further services. Otherwise, it is difficult to get services when you can't show them that anything is wrong, do you know what I mean??My daughter has deficits (that they deny) and they refuse to give her services.... Unfortunately this is not that common (as I have read on several lists). If he is having issues I think I would state it this way: "I notice that DS is not talking to other children, how are you helping him with

that??" Or "I notice he is getting out of the chair a lot more than other children, what plan is in place if he is up too often". Maybe those tactics might work for you??Carolyn

From: tsnoo1 <tsnoo1@...> Cc: Sent: Thursday, February 3, 2011 10:49 AMSubject: ( ) Question about school

My son (6 1/2) is in K. When he was dx'ed as Aspie by Children's Hospital, we were warned that because of his cognitive abilities we would have to be vigilant to get services from the school system. We have an IEP in place, and he receives services under the Autism category. The thing is, everytime I raise an issue to his teachers, I'm summarily dismissed with some generic complement such as:I say, "how is he doing socially?"They say, "he is a joy in the classroom."I say, "he seems to be out of his chair alot more than others."They say, "no more than the other Kindergarten boys."I say, "he's using the bathroom alot"They say, "we haven't noticed. I'd say he doesn't use it more than anyone else."I say, "what pragmatic language skills is he learning."They say, "we talk about our weekends during circle time and he does a wonderful job of expressing himself & asking pertinent

questions."I say, "how is he doing processing auditory information."They say, "Wonderful, he is such an eager learner!"I guess those are enough examples. I can't believe I'm complaining about being told my son is "a ray of sunshine in the classroom." I've observed in the classroom, though, and it is NOT all hearts and flowers. It seems obvious to me that I am asking the wrong questions, or not requesting the right things. The only next step that I see is for me to observe a whole school day & document every little thing I see that is wrong. Then, provide the school with my written observations & request that they respond in writing. Is there another way to do this? I really don't want to piss off his teachers, or the school. But, I feel like both he and I are being swept under the rug. Any ideas? Again, I can't believe I am complaining about them telling me that my son is wonderful --- it is just that I know he is a wonderful

child WITH AUTISM and that he SHOULD BE getting more services.Any thoughts?--

[Guest guest]

I heard that forever as well. I finally brought my son to the IEP meeting and his conferences and asked him to tell the staff how he feels about school ( he is only 8 and I did not like talking about him in front of him in sucha anegative way so we had nto done this previously), and he told the staff that everyone hates him and he has no friends and he hates school because of it. He explained all the ways kids bullied him and did not want to play with him on the playground. Finally they had to admit there was a problem and they needed to help him figure it out. He gets a social lesson where they coach him and a chosen classmate or two he wants to be friends with through an activity, some times a game, sometimes a computer based activity, sometimes an art

activity. It is always about friendship and how to be a good friend and how to get more kids to want to play with you, but it entirely focusses on the skills he lacks to engage socially appropirately on his own. They also have a friens group at school and I was very voracious in insisting he be apart of that group whenever they run it in our school. Previously they had not invited him because ti was more focussed on breaking up cliques and gettign teh kids to work through their problems together, btu I explained that is pretty much what my son faces daily in school, so they finally conceeded to that. Initially all teh social stuff was to work on anger management and impulse control, but once they started helping him through that and it was not as much of an issue, we started to switcht he time to a new focus that it mroe preventative than reactive. It is not perfect and everytime we have a meeting I have to fight to keep services and bring in

distirct personnel, but in the long run I think we are doing as well as can be expected in a private school with a child who truly is so bright, that they feel he should not even get special ed help. It is hard because they have 20 + children in a classroom all with differing abilities and such. they do not have time to learn all the latest scientific and anecdotal evidence of what our kids need, so it is up to us to lead them to the water. We have to document in writing all teh instances we see contraryt o what tehy are saying and show it as evidence that they have been mistaken. I think my social skills are not as good as maybe they should be becuase usually it is taken as confrontational in my district but I have always tried to thank them for what they do right and apologize for bringint o their attention int his maner that I heartfeltedly disagree with most of what they are sayign and then give them as much proof as I can draw on from notes and

memory of how they have missed what is actually my son's reality. some time they give a little just to move on, so we let it rst and I wait to see if what they try works. If it does not I call a review meeting aand show them it has not. Sometimes you have to try things and see. We haev teh repsonse to intervention here which means the district has a lot of leeway to do things not on the books or IEP before they give an accomodation, so I have to document that all their responses have been inadequate and that I expect tehmt o follow through with adequate accomodations. One step forward two steps back, but eventually we take a leap and we get somewhere. I also put my son in a lot of activities like special Olympics and special needs baseball and soccer, an Aspergers Day Treatment and an Aspergers camp. He gets inhome therapy adn they also work on social skills and even at hippotherapy and Aquatherapy witht eh OTs they are always too working on

social skills simulataneously. All of them work together, but you can nto simulate the social skills with his peers at home and get the same outcome as havign him do social skills at school with those kids he sees everyday becaause our kids do not generalize very well. My son also has an aide ont eh playground and at lunch, mostly to monitor and make sure he does not have a meltdown, but that too is a wayt o find out if there is a way the aide can coach or set-up good situations for your child. We got that only after he had numerous aggression incidents during these times and it was felt necessary for his and the other kids safety, but with it we have had very few incidents.

From: <jenniferhermanski@...> Sent: Fri, February 4, 2011 7:25:42 PMSubject: ( ) Re: Question about school

tracy i get the fllowing response from s teachers "well he`s not under our radar. We have other students who are in much more trouble. He`s a brigh boy" So since he isn`t hitting anybody THIS year lets just ignore the part where he is failing middle school">> My son (6 1/2) is in K. When he was dx'ed as Aspie by Children's Hospital, we were warned that because of his cognitive abilities we would have to be vigilant to get services from the school system. We have an IEP in place, and he receives services under the Autism category. > > The thing is, everytime I raise an issue to his teachers, I'm summarily dismissed with some generic complement such as:> > I say, "how is he doing

socially?"> They say, "he is a joy in the classroom."> > I say, "he seems to be out of his chair alot more than others."> They say, "no more than the other Kindergarten boys."> > I say, "he's using the bathroom alot"> They say, "we haven't noticed. I'd say he doesn't use it more than anyone else."> > I say, "what pragmatic language skills is he learning."> They say, "we talk about our weekends during circle time and he does a wonderful job of expressing himself & asking pertinent questions."> > I say, "how is he doing processing auditory information."> They say, "Wonderful, he is such an eager learner!"> > I guess those are enough examples. I can't believe I'm complaining about being told my son is "a ray of sunshine in the classroom." I've observed in the classroom, though, and it is NOT all hearts and flowers. It seems obvious to me that I am

asking the wrong questions, or not requesting the right things. The only next step that I see is for me to observe a whole school day & document every little thing I see that is wrong. Then, provide the school with my written observations & request that they respond in writing. Is there another way to do this? I really don't want to piss off his teachers, or the school. But, I feel like both he and I are being swept under the rug. Any ideas? Again, I can't believe I am complaining about them telling me that my son is wonderful --- it is just that I know he is a wonderful child WITH AUTISM and that he SHOULD BE getting more services.> > Any thoughts?> > -->tracy