Alright, wonderful people... I need some insight !!!

[Guest guest]

Gosh, let me start off by saying that I am SO glad you guys are

here. After our afternoon yesterday, and this morning – the only thing I

could think of was – I *HAVE* to go home and tell my Aspie

group!!! Thank you all for being here

Ok – so seems to be regressing. I honestly don’t

know why. When he was younger, he’d float through the first 2-3wks of

school, and then once he got “comfortable”, we’d see a return

of the “behaviors”. Last year, he wasn’t settled. We moved at

Christmastime across the country, and the second half of grade 3 was with an

amazing male teacher who was so great, and they ended up with lots of aide

time, even though no one in their class had an aide. This worked well for us,

since ’s never NOT had one. Even if it wasn’t for HIM

specifically (and at times, it was), he was at least in a room that already had

one, so they worked with him, too.

So over the last few weeks, anxiety seems to be at an all time

high, stomach aches, stress induced diarrhea, oh yeah, it’s been THAT

bad. He’s been crawling in the hallways at school, needing to take breaks

from the classroom again, and hiding in the photocopy room near the office,

refusing to come out. Refusing to do work at school. Etc etc etc.

Monday at school, he apparently had a good day. During French,

he needed a break. He has a break card, and used it – and wouldn’t

return to French class, but did his French work in the office. So that was

fine. Then, during the last few minutes before the end of the day, he asked to

go to the washroom – which was fine. So off he went. Story goes, that he

went in, went to the bathroom, came out of the stall and there was a grade 2

boy in the bathroom. He said the boy asked him if he scared him, and

said “yes”. Then, we have a “blank out” moment. Sigh.

choked the other boy. He remembers the boy saying “STOP”,

and him walking back to his classroom. So he sat down in class, and they were

getting their things together for the end of the day. Grade 2 teacher shows up

with said boy, who had RED marks on his neck from choking him.

spoke to his teacher about it, and the grade 2 teacher, and the principal. He

then had to go apologize to the boy, and the boy’s father (who was there

anyway to pick up the boy after school). Then the principal told to go

wait in the office, and said “So, am I gonna miss the bus or what?”….

making the principal think that it just didn’t matter to him.

SO when he got home, I had a talk with him. I insisted that he

write the boy an apology letter. He worked REALLY hard on that letter. We role

played some, as he’d been “bullied” by a bigger boy not that

long ago. So we played it out like it was that boy who had choked . It

helped him come up with feelings and thoughts that this other boy must have

been thinking. It was really great. I was proud of how hard he worked, and the

letter was great. He stayed up in his room to work on that before supper time

on Monday, and finished up his one sheet of homework.

Yesterday morning, I drove him to school. I had him read the

letter to the principal. She sent him to his room afterwards, telling him to

write the boys name on the top of the letter. She didn’t say ANYTHING

about the letter otherwise. She informed me that would be spending

recess in the office for 5 days as a consequence. She said “he could

still have his snack, and his DS, just not be in the classroom”. I told

her that was a REWARD, not a punishment. He wouldn’t care, and would

likely ENJOY that. So if she was going to put him in the office, it would need

to be with NO ds (that’s his biggest obsession, he keeps it in his desk

at school – never tries to play it, but is obviously comforted just

knowing it’s there). She said “But I took his DS away last week,

and it didn’t go over well, and he had a rough rest of his day.” I

told her to DEAL with it. Lol She said she’d be following up with the guidance

councellor, and I asked her to have him call me, to keep me informed about what

was going on. She also told me she was going to “consult with someone

from the board on this.” THEY AREN’T LISTENING !!!

I got this email from the guidance councellor last night…

Hello ,

Just a follow-up as per your request. Special Services

had a meeting today to review 's behavior plan and to see what (if any)

changes/adaptations needed to occur. To support in school, the behavior

plan has to not only include positive reinforcement strategies (which are being

consistently implimented), but also specific, well-laid out consequences in

response to more serious behaviors. The team questioned whether the response

protocol section of behavior plan appropriately addressed serious safety

behaviors. The behavior plan (in conjunction with our Code of Conduct) should

address this. Our School Code of Conduct is up for review this coming week, and

once finalized, we will communicate the results to you ( & how that impacts

the response protocol). We will continue to praise/reward for all

academic & behavioral successes, but also ensure to provide real,

meaningful consequences fo r negative choices/behaviors (which not only should

consider his learning & well-being but also the well-being of those around

him).

We will be in touch for an appropriate time to meet and

review future changes,

Thank you,

The Special Services Team

Is it just me, or do I sense complete and total NEGATIVITY in

that? Sigh.

ADVICE needed. Any of you who have dealt with this type of thing

before, how’d you follow up? How’d the school follow up? I really

am at a loss, but I know I’m NOT about to let another school “peg”

him as a bad kid with behavioural issues. He’s a GOOD kid. I have told

him, and them, regardless of the “struggles” he faces, it will be a

reason, but never an excuse. But I can’t help feeling like they cannot

EXPECT him to comply to the “code of conduct” in the same way as

children without neurological problems would. Am I being unreasonable???

Thanks in advance…

Frazzled Mama,

=)