Homework

[Guest guest]

I know how you feel. Homework has been a sore point with my son since Kinder. He

is now going into 4th, but repeated a grade. The only thing that has really

worked for us was to get it written in his IEP that he needs MODIFIED HOMEWORK.

Once I FINALLY was able to get it in his IEP the teacher's have been very good

if I send back imcomplete homework telling them it just took him too long. We

often pick and choose what to do. If the teacher send a math page with 50

problems, we will usually try to do half or so, and then move on to Language

Arts. We try to keep the after school homework schedule the same. For us that

has been one hour to play and have a snack, then on to homework. If it is a

lot, he gets a break in the middle. Many days I have had to sit next to him as

he does each problem-pointing to it and keeping him on track. Seems to be

getting a little easier each year. Rewards from us and the teacher for good

work has helped a lot also.

[Guest guest]

This happens here and it made things so much easier when I finally "got it" that is was not willful. My child really just could not do it, and it was making her just as angry as it was making me. School is hard enough for some of these kids, let alone coming home to do homework. I get an older kid in the neighborhood to help with it, or I take her to Sylvan learning center when I know she is capable of getting it done. I just have to work around her and really let her know that I understand what she is going through. It's amazing how much harder she tries, when she knows we are on the same side. I hope this helps a little. I do it this way after years of things not working and the whole family almost having a nervous breakdown!!!! LOL. Good Luck!!!On Aug 9, 2010, at 8:54 PM, maddness2407 wrote:

So it is the second week of school and the first day of homework. It was not a good afternoon, he got home and lost his mind . He refused to do his homework and tore up papers threw a stool and was just angry. I gave him and me a break because I felt so angry / then i called him back out andgot him to do ten min and gave him another break because he got whiney and angry again/ then we started againand he just lost it tore up every paper i gave him , saying he couldnt do it, i walked out of the room to cool down when i went back in he was sobbing and couldnt talk/ finally calmed him down after thirty min and got half of his homework done by the end of the night/my dh says whatever i want to do but that just makes it worse. I dont know what to do we cant go thru this every day i start back to school next week and i am scared/ i feel so alone, does anyone have any ideas on what to do/ desperate m moody

[Guest guest]

I am dreading all this...we start school on August 30th. My son usually says he has no homework or did it in school. And, when we do homework together, he never hands it in. I even email the teachers and say he has it. They either don't ask for it or think he should be capable of handing it in. A lot of times, he will leave it in his locker. He hates school so much.

I am truly dreading all this and am very depressed too. He has been depressed lately and won't open up to me at all. He barks when I ask a simple question. He sleeps all day long. I have no idea what this new school year will bring.

I feel very old and worn out and just want to throw my hands up in the air and walk away from everything. I know I won't but I sure do feel like it. I don't know what to do...my son is 14 and going into 9th grade and wants nothing to do with us. I looked on his facebook page and it said "I hate my fxxking life"....but if I try to talk to him he shuts up. I am thinking of making an appt. with a therapist for him but I may have to drag him there. What to do, what to do? I am confused. He was dx with AS in 6th grade but is different than a lot of kids with AS. His main problem is the social situation and low self-esteem. He does get a lot of things in the social world and know that kids don't "like" him and I know this bothers him extremely. At times I wonder if he really has AS but then I see a lot of other similiarities.

I guess I am venting...as I am crying.

jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: Tammy <tvau37@...> Sent: Tue, August 10, 2010 9:21:00 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Homework

this is my son also.....

From: maddness2407 <maddness2407>Subject: ( ) Homework Date: Monday, August 9, 2010, 9:54 PM

So it is the second week of school and the first day of homework. It was not a good afternoon, he got home and lost his mind . He refused to do his homework and tore up papers threw a stool and was just angry. I gave him and me a break because I felt so angry / then i called him back out andgot him to do ten min and gave him another break because he got whiney and angry again/ then we started againand he just lost it tore up every paper i gave him , saying he couldnt do it, i walked out of the room to cool down when i went back in he was sobbing and couldnt talk/ finally calmed him down after thirty min and got half of his homework done by the end of the night/my dh says whatever i want to do but that just makes it worse. I dont know what to do we cant go thru this every day i start back to school next week and i am scared/ i feel so alone, does anyone have any ideas on what to do/ desperate m

moody ------------ --------- --------- ------

[Guest guest]

I remember some of the times you describe. Does your son have an IEP?? If so, he could do all work at school and work with a resource teacher or aide. His teacher or resource could collect the work and it in turned in each day. Sounds like your son might have other issues beside AS. Our ds had some depression. The sleeping you speak of makes me wonder if there is depression there. Yes there is medication and I haven't heard you speak of that. Again, our son received a couple of prescription that did help him. You absolutely needed a family counselor and your son could also receive couseling alone if he wanted to later on. At first, I would go and at least sit in on the beginning of the session. Since his actions and health affect the whole familiy your husband if he will, yourself and your son should be in the family

counseling I speak of. I don't know your whole situation but you definately need help. There is help but knowing where to turn is the hardest part in the beginning.

I have help some from family physician but mostly in their referrals to mental health. There you find the medicines and counseling, your family is in desparate help with and also a mediator so to speak to the school on your sons behalf.

Best of Luck, If I can help you please contact me again.

Sincerely,

Ginny

On Tue, 8/10/10, rushen janice <jrushen@...> wrote:

From: rushen janice <jrushen@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Homework Date: Tuesday, August 10, 2010, 6:45 PM

I am dreading all this...we start school on August 30th. My son usually says he has no homework or did it in school. And, when we do homework together, he never hands it in. I even email the teachers and say he has it. They either don't ask for it or think he should be capable of handing it in. A lot of times, he will leave it in his locker. He hates school so much.

I am truly dreading all this and am very depressed too. He has been depressed lately and won't open up to me at all. He barks when I ask a simple question. He sleeps all day long. I have no idea what this new school year will bring.

I feel very old and worn out and just want to throw my hands up in the air and walk away from everything. I know I won't but I sure do feel like it. I don't know what to do...my son is 14 and going into 9th grade and wants nothing to do with us. I looked on his facebook page and it said "I hate my fxxking life"....but if I try to talk to him he shuts up. I am thinking of making an appt. with a therapist for him but I may have to drag him there. What to do, what to do? I am confused. He was dx with AS in 6th grade but is different than a lot of kids with AS. His main problem is the social situation and low self-esteem. He does get a lot of things in the social world and know that kids don't "like" him and I know this bothers him extremely. At times I wonder if he really has AS but then I see a lot of other similiarities.

I guess I am venting...as I am crying.

jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: Tammy <tvau37@...> Sent: Tue, August 10, 2010 9:21:00 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Homework

this is my son also.....

From: maddness2407 <maddness2407>Subject: ( ) Homework Date: Monday, August 9, 2010, 9:54 PM

So it is the second week of school and the first day of homework. It was not a good afternoon, he got home and lost his mind . He refused to do his homework and tore up papers threw a stool and was just angry. I gave him and me a break because I felt so angry / then i called him back out andgot him to do ten min and gave him another break because he got whiney and angry again/ then we started againand he just lost it tore up every paper i gave him , saying he couldnt do it, i walked out of the room to cool down when i went back in he was sobbing and couldnt talk/ finally calmed him down after thirty min and got half of his homework done by the end of the night/my dh says whatever i want to do but that just makes it worse. I dont know what to do we cant go thru this every day i start back to school next week and i am scared/ i feel so alone, does anyone have any ideas on what to do/

desperate m moody ------------ --------- --------- ------

[Guest guest]

Hang in there, Jan! You've come through so much already and I know you will get through another year. I can't promise things will improve but I can say that these middle school years were the absolute worst. Teens can be difficult creatures anyway. Having lived through several already, I can attest that there are days you love them beyond reason and days you would throw them out and lock the door without a second thought. lol.

With his sleeping all the time and his barking when talking to you, I wondered if you need to adjust his meds regarding depression? My ds (13 yo) is the same exact way when his depression gets out of control.

With turning work in, we have dealt with this problem with both the boys and we have had to have it in his IEP that someone has to help deal with it. You have to know who that person is going to be each year and check in with them also. They say he should be able to handle it on his own, I am sure! Don't we all wish. But he's not able as evidenced by his problem. So push for getting him help. Many of these kids have executive functioning problems. Being organized can be overwhelming. And once a child is failing all the time, every day - they eventually will give up. We all would in that situation. If things are going to start off badly, call a meeting and go over the plan. If there is not a well defined plan already, go get one together! You know what he needs, you just have to get them on board. Meet with his sped teacher and discuss your concerns. hang in there!!!!

Roxanna

"I

predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." - Jefferson

( ) Homework

Date: Monday, August 9, 2010, 9:54 PM

So it is the second week of school and the first day of homework. It was not a good afternoon, he got home and lost his mind . He refused to do his homework and tore up papers threw a stool and was just angry. I gave him and me a break because I felt so angry / then i called him back out andgot him to do ten min and gave him another break because he got whiney and angry again/ then we started againand he just lost it tore up every paper i gave him , saying he couldnt do it, i walked out of the room to cool down when i went back in he was sobbing and couldnt talk/ finally calmed him down after thirty min and got half of his homework done by the end of the night/my dh says whatever i want to do but that just makes it worse. I dont know what to do we cant go thru this every day i start back to school next week and i am scared/ i feel so alone, does anyone have any ideas on what to do/ desperate m

moody

------------ --------- --------- ------

[Guest guest]

ITA with you! I once asked for help with social skills, back in the day when it was unheard of and the sped teacher was actually crying real tears of injury and insult that I was asking for this. She was all, "Haven't we done a good job?" and there I was trying to explain it wasn't about her and she switched gears to, "I don't have time to add another thing to my list." That may have been true too. But she was unavailable to work with us on finding answers and everything was an accusation filled tear-fest. ugh. Had to work with her for 2 years too. They had things the way they had things and I was disrupting that by asking for things that did not exist. It was always such a chore to deal with them.

Anyway, homework is definitely something that should be included in discussion about the IEP! With my older ds, he had a 1-1 aide eventually and she had to make sure he was turning his work in. One teacher included prompting/cueing for this as well because my ds seemed not to even realize what the other kids were doing (getting out their books, turning papers in, etc.) So he was cued each time, "What are the other kids doing now?" until he began to notice on his own and participate. That helped. Before that, he had a horrible 6th grade year - really awful and we had to get rid of all homework that year. He just couldn't handle one more thing on his plate. It was phased back in later when he could handle it.

My point is, there are options and you just have to think of them and ask for them. Some times we have been told at the start, "You won't get that" or "They won't let you have that option". Never once was that true. Just because they don't do it a certain way, doesn't mean you can't get it in place. It does take a lot of effort, but keep pushing for what your kid needs.

Roxanna

"I

predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." - Jefferson

( ) Homework

Date: Monday, August 9, 2010, 9:54 PM

So it is the second week of school and the first day of homework. It was not a good afternoon, he got home and lost his mind . He refused to do his homework and tore up papers threw a stool and was just angry. I gave him and me a break because I felt so angry / then i called him back out andgot him to do ten min and gave him another break because he got whiney and angry again/ then we started againand he just lost it tore up every paper i gave him , saying he couldnt do it, i walked out of the room to cool down when i went back in he was sobbing and couldnt talk/ finally calmed him down after thirty min and got half of his homework done by the end of the night/my dh says whatever i want to do but that just makes it worse. I dont know what to do we cant go thru this every day i start back to school next week and i am scared/ i feel so alone, does anyone have any ideas on what to do/ desperate m moody

------------ --------- --------- ------

[Guest guest]

Pam...too funny...my son doesn't want me to post to him on facebook...how embarrassing...LOL! I could text him.

I have made a therapy appt. for him...he knows he has no choice in this matter.

As far as homework...I decided to let him be this year...not bug him...would you believe he is finally maturing and doing it on his own! Wow! His handwrittting is not the neatest and he is sloppy but he is doing it on his own. He really is growing up.

Jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: "ppanda65@..." <ppanda65@...> Sent: Tue, September 14, 2010 7:14:40 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Homework

Is there anyone at school that could check in with him, create and maintain a relationship? Maybe a guidance counselor or asst. principal. If you respond to him via facebook will he respond? I would say try other ways to communicate. Leave messages on his phone, write notes. I found my son to be so miserable at that age. It was very hard to communicate with him. Pam

In a message dated 8/11/2010 8:50:09 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, irsandee@... writes:

I have no suggestions other than he will grow up and this too will pass, but I go through the same with my daughter except she doesn't cuss. She has had therapy and meds and it helps, but does not cure.. I, too, often wonder if she is just"spoiled" but can't seem to unspoil her..

From: rushen janice <jrushen (DOT) com> Sent: Tue, August 10, 2010 6:45:58 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Homework

I am dreading all this...we start school on August 30th. My son usually says he has no homework or did it in school. And, when we do homework together, he never hands it in. I even email the teachers and say he has it. They either don't ask for it or think he should be capable of handing it in. A lot of times, he will leave it in his locker. He hates school so much.

I am truly dreading all this and am very depressed too. He has been depressed lately and won't open up to me at all. He barks when I ask a simple question. He sleeps all day long. I have no idea what this new school year will bring.

I feel very old and worn out and just want to throw my hands up in the air and walk away from everything. I know I won't but I sure do feel like it. I don't know what to do...my son is 14 and going into 9th grade and wants nothing to do with us. I looked on his facebook page and it said "I hate my fxxking life"....but if I try to talk to him he shuts up. I am thinking of making an appt. with a therapist for him but I may have to drag him there. What to do, what to do? I am confused. He was dx with AS in 6th grade but is different than a lot of kids with AS. His main problem is the social situation and low self-esteem. He does get a lot of things in the social world and know that kids don't "like" him and I know this bothers him extremely. At times I wonder if he really has AS but then I see a lot of other similiarities.

I guess I am venting...as I am crying.

jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: Tammy <tvau37@...> Sent: Tue, August 10, 2010 9:21:00 AMSubject: Re: ( ) Homework

this is my son also.....

From: maddness2407 <maddness2407>Subject: ( ) Homework Date: Monday, August 9, 2010, 9:54 PM

So it is the second week of school and the first day of homework. It was not a good afternoon, he got home and lost his mind . He refused to do his homework and tore up papers threw a stool and was just angry. I gave him and me a break because I felt so angry / then i called him back out andgot him to do ten min and gave him another break because he got whiney and angry again/ then we started againand he just lost it tore up every paper i gave him , saying he couldnt do it, i walked out of the room to cool down when i went back in he was sobbing and couldnt talk/ finally calmed him down after thirty min and got half of his homework done by the end of the night/my dh says whatever i want to do but that just makes it worse. I dont know what to do we cant go thru this every day i start back to school next week and i am scared/ i feel so alone, does anyone have any ideas on what to do/ desperate m

moody ------------ --------- --------- ------