Follow Up On Son Cancelling Lunch Buddy

March 24, 2011

I received a letter today from Big Brothers Big Sisters saying that they are

removing my son from the program. That state that after speaking to my son and

his lunch buddy, they have determined they are not a good match. It goes on to

say that my son requested another, female, lunch buddy, but that they do not

feel the program is right fr him at this time. It goes on to say that he would

probably have more fun playing with the kids. It also says my son only wants to

play at recess or in the gym and that is not all the program is about. It is

about developing a relationship with the lunch buddy, talking to them, playing

games with them, etc. Hmmmmm......all the things a child with autism struggles

to do!

So, maybe the program is not right for kids with autism, I don't know, but was

it not mentioned by the school or an anything of the paperwork completed to sign

him up? Was he not interviewed before being matched with a buddy? I am really

bothered by this and feel compelled to respond that they accepting my son in a

program he was guaranteed to fail at!!! I understand he is not going to fit in

everywhere because of his AS, but it was also the very reason he was put in to

the program (or so I thought). He isn't lacking family involvement or

parenting......maybe the program is more for kids like that? My son was upset

to find out he was kicked out of the program and said it was the one thing he

looked forward to every week.......

Yet, he told them he didn't have fun, because he is always negative! Something

else I understand to be an AS characteristic. They were questioning my child

and asking to to share feelings and emotions.....again, something he struggles

with! They asked him to do things, to which he said he didn't want to do, but I

have to push him to do everything!

I feel it is pointless to say anything, even though I really want to. Is this

what it's always going to be like? Is my son ever going to be accepted anywhere

for who he is? Is that asking to much? I understand he is hard to

accept......he is negative and defiant, says things that are rude, and doesn't

listen half the time. But he can be the smartest, sweetest child if you just

get to know him. I worry he will never get the chance to prove that to

others!!!! I am just so sad about this......the smallest things can really

bring everything back down again ;(

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