about daughter

[Guest guest]

(Please read even though it is long, well worth it.) My daughter Marcy was first

diagnosed with autism at the age of 5, 22 years ago. This was back when not much

was known about autism and most people never even heard of it. There were no

programs available, no support groups in our area, nothing. The doctors told us

that since she was diagnosed with moderate high functioning autism she would

never go on to college, never make friends, never hold a job and we would have

to put her away some place once she became old enough.

Despite the constant bullying at school, despite a rape, despite being blamed

for everything from teachers because she was different she ended up proving them

all wrong.

Today when you first meet her you would never know she was autistic. Today she

makes eye contact, she has several friends, she even has her own business where

she sells her incredible art (see photos for some of her drawings) and she even

speaks at autism conferences about being autistic.

How did this all happen? Several things occurred. First her father (he is

Asperger's) and I wouldn't listen to the doctors and instead followed our own

hearts. I knew she had problems with change so I let her rearrange the house and

her room all the time. Granted sometimes it was weird but she became used to

change because of it. Secondly we would play games acting out how to act and how

not to act during certain situations. But perhaps the most important thing was

we got a dog. She was fixating on the movie Lady and the Tramp to the point we

worn out a tape and had to replace it. She had echolalia and would say word for

word of what was in the movie. We had 4 dogs at the time but she ignored them.

Then one day we were in a pet store where I usually complained to management

about their care of birds when Marcy started screaming at the top of her lungs,

" Lady, Lady! " She saw this black mutt that she insisted was Lady. Fortunately

the dog was female otherwise this might have caused some confusion for the poor

dog later in life. I figured what's one more dog and ended up getting Lady. The

next day Marcy got on the school bus and instead of going to the back of the bus

and not letting anyone sit next to her (she would scream if someone did) she sat

down next to one little girl in the front of the bus and said her first real

sentence ever, " Marcy got dog, Lady " She would refer to herself in third person

all the time. Lady was a miracle dog. She was unbelievably patient with her. She

would allow Marcy to put her face right into hers, she would listen when Marcy

would make up words to talk to her, and she was always gentle with her. Because

of Lady Marcy learned to start making eye contact with people. She also started

talking more. She was 7 at the time, almost 8. It wasn't until she was 10 that

she stopped referring to herself in third person and really started using more

complete sentences.

When she was raped on school grounds at the age of 11 she slipped a little bit

more back into her autistic behaviors, but through therapy and her family it

didn't last very long.

Unfortunately when she was in middle school she went through hell with the

bullying and uncaring, unfeeling teachers who blamed her because she was

different, telling her she deserved being bullied because she made herself a

target. We finally got the school to put her in a private school (after bringing

up lawsuit with each and every violation of her rights) and there she thrived,

both socially and academically.

She did have a mental breakdown before being put in the private school because

of severe anxiety, depression and stress.

It was in this school that we learned that she had a special talent, art. A

school wide art project resulted in the school calling us telling us they had

never seen an 11 year old draw like she did. Art lessons followed.

She eventually went on to college where she learned to fly planes (though she

won't drive a car) and right before she was to get her license (she had to solo)

she decided to go for her AA. She graduated with honors.

She continued with her drawing and started her own business where she sells art

online and at shows. Today she speaks at autism and mental health conferences on

what it is like being autistic.

Unfortunately because of her past she has developed PTSD and schizoaffective

disorder. Despite these awful problems she continues her life, working on her

art, and going to these conferences to help others. She is an incredible young

woman, intelligent, caring, and now is extremely talkative. She stays on her

meds, works on her art and even helping her brother develop software to help

autistics learn social and life skills. She is proof that despite what doctors

predicted would be a terrible outcome that with support of a loving family

anything is possible.