Ideas for dealing with school refusal?

[Guest guest]

Hey all, We have an almost 9-y-o with Asperger's.  Probably our biggest problem is the anxiety and with that anxiety goes general fear of going to school.  Once he gets to school and sees his aide he's generally fine, but getting him up and out the door can be very difficult.  He has been particularly difficult since after break after a period of being pretty good leading up to break.  Specifically he refuses to get ready, runs and hides, yells, throws things at me, hits me with his clothes, and sometimes actually hits me or his sister.  I stay very calm (I'm finally getting relatively good at that) and just remind him of the supports in place at school, that he's doing a good job, that even when he has moments where he's having problems, he has the aide to help and he's been able to pull it together, yada yada.  I remind him that I need to go to work to help pay for our lives.  A few times now I have resorted to telling him that not going to school is illegal so if he doesn't want to go I'll have to have the police come by to check on him.  I don't threaten or say they'll arrest him or anything, just that they'll have to come by because he's supposed to go to school.  Obviously I don't love that tactic, but it works and is easier than physically dragging him out the door.  I'm sure many of you deal with this.  Better strategies?  The school really gives him a fair amount (the aide, chances to chill out, options on whether he wants to participate in things that upset him such as PE, field trips) so while I understand that it's difficult for him, for the most part he's ok there and it's MUCH better than it used to be.  Whenever I've seen him at lunch or earlier pick up or something he seems perfectly settled.  It's just the getting out the door thing that can be a HUGE drama.  Oh, and the yelling in the car, threatening his sister, and calling me names.  A lovely start to the day.

Any ideas are welcome!E.V. Downey (Washington, DC)