Re: Re: PSSA test--teen is annoyed/embarrassed by parents

[Guest guest]

Oh, my....you described my son to the T!!!!!!!! This is exactly how he acts. In church after the confirmation ceremony the kids were all with their parents and my son was with them and not us....It is like he needs the other kids to reaffirm or confirm his self-esteem...that he just needs them because he is so insecure??? At home ...he constantly wants other kids over....he will make a zillion phone calls. Other kids are okay being alone at home w/their parents ...but not him....he constantly wants others around. I keep telling him it is okay to have down time...time to be alone...that we don't have to have people over 24/7.

I also think he doesn't want to be near us because he is afraid we will embarrass him in front of others.

I know how you feel as this is how I feel....I watch other families with their kids and they are hanging out with their parents and laughing and feel okay. Maybe it has to do with our kids think they need to be with their friends to be "okay".

I too mentioned to my son that the kids were all with the parents and were fine....and he said he doesn't know why he does that. So, I too, usually just ignore him in the public...strange huh?

jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"> > > From: Sherry Burford <aspiemomone>> Subject: Re: ( ) PSSA test scores-poor> > Date: Sunday, June 14, 2009, 10:40 AM> > > > > > > we havent got our pssa test results yet but i think my son may have done poorly when they did the eval at school they said his total score was an 83 which is where they expected him to score given the aspergers but i dont even know what that means either, but I had a teacher tell me that if they test poorly on the pssa dont even sweat it because it isnt really a reflection on our children more on the school and what the teachers are doing they are just trying to see how well the school is performing and teachers performance than the children. that is why it is state wide to see which schools are doing ok

and which ones are not. these test scores also are what they base alot of school funding on, the schools who do poorly get more state funding than the schools who students appear to be on target, does this sound right to you. did your child have problems with math and reading during school my son final grade was a d in both of those courses. But i have> also been told by a different school pschycologist said and i quote " Ms. Burford there is no need to test your son at this time if he has a dx of aspergers he will qualify for that reason alone. Aspergers children simply do not test well so there is no point of testing him. " i was certainly appalled and even infuriated because that was in March of 2008, it took me moving out of that school district to another and let me say much better and my son is comfortable at school and really enjoys going and next year will be even better as he will finally have a iep to go by . by the

way where do you live as i thought pssa are only in pa right? sherry> > > > > > From: jrushen <jrushen (DOT) com>> > Sent: Saturday, June 13, 2009 11:29:38 PM> Subject: ( ) PSSA test scores-poor> > > > Does anyone else's child do poorly on the PSSA's...the state mandated tests????? It seems each year my son does worse. > > We just got the results and he is below basic in math and basic in reading. > > Any ideas? Help? Depressing.. ..bugged me all day long...> > Jan>

[Guest guest]

Melody...You just described my husband!!!! I laughed when you said you made him stay out with the family and he fell asleep...my husband does the same stuff. OMG...and yes my husband has to have complete control of the TV remote...

One time the minister and her parents came to visit us...this when Poppy was dying....my husband said hello and took off to the bedroom to watch TV.

My husband does embarrassing things in the public and sometimes I need to walk away. But he will wander around too. A lot of times he follows me and then butts in my conversation very rudely ....which is when I walk away.(pissed).

I always thought my husband had a touch of ADHD ...but now I think he has AS but was never DX.

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: Melody <mkalomiris@...>Subject: ( ) Re: PSSA test--teen is annoyed/embarrassed by parents Date: Thursday, June 18, 2009, 5:46 PM

hi pam-i am thinking about your experience and wondering if my aspie, bipolar (not-diag) husband has done this. when we go to his group, like his church, his relatives, his work, i won't see him much until it is time to leave--and it isn't that he is socializing with other people. mainly he walks around or watches tv or volunteers. i think this is what he did as a boy, he tends to do what he has always done, just because he has always done it. when we go to my family he tends to hang back and be on his own, although when our daughters were younger, he would play with them. when people come to our house (even his family, his friend or mother), he goes to his room--which has a computer, television, tivo, everything that means anything to him. i had to tell him that if he was going to be anti-social, i would not entertain his friend or family, so he must be out with them. so now he will sit with us, but fall asleep. if no one is visiting, he is

in his bedroom unless he has complete control over the television in the family room. he doesn't act embarrassed or annoyed with me in public though--does your husband do that?melody> > >

> > > > > > From: Sherry Burford <aspiemomone>> > > Subject: Re: ( ) PSSA test scores-poor> > > > > > Date: Sunday, June 14, 2009, 10:40 AM> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > we havent got our pssa test results yet but i think my son may have done poorly when they did the eval at school they said his total score was an 83 which is where they expected him to score given the aspergers but i dont even know what that means either, but I had a teacher tell me that if they test poorly on the pssa dont even sweat it because it isnt really a reflection on our children more on the school and what the teachers are doing they are just trying to see how well the school is performing and teachers performance than the children. that

is why it is state wide to see which schools are doing ok and which ones are not. these test scores also are what they base alot of school funding on, the schools who do poorly get more state funding than the schools who students appear to be on target, does this sound right to you. did your child have problems with math and reading during school my son final grade was a d in both of those courses. But i have> > > also been told by a different school pschycologist said and i quote " Ms. Burford there is no need to test your son at this time if he has a dx of aspergers he will qualify for that reason alone. Aspergers children simply do not test well so there is no point of testing him. " i was certainly appalled and even infuriated because that was in March of 2008, it took me moving out of that school district to another and let me say much better and my son is comfortable at school and really enjoys going and next year

will be even better as he will finally have a iep to go by . by the way where do you live as i thought pssa are only in pa right? sherry> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > From: jrushen <jrushen (DOT) com>> > > > > > Sent: Saturday, June 13, 2009 11:29:38 PM> > > Subject: ( ) PSSA test scores-poor> > > > > > > > > > > > Does anyone else's child do poorly on the PSSA's...the state mandated tests????? It seems each year my son does worse. > > > > > > We just got the results and he is below basic in math and basic in reading. > > > > > > Any ideas? Help? Depressing.. ..bugged me all day long...> > > > > > Jan> > >>

>>

[Guest guest]

I wonder if they don't want so much attention placed on them...they can't handle it? Or, they are afraid people will notice them or stare at them...that is ...if I am talking to my son...he doesn't want me to say anything...he is so afraid of what others may say...it may have to do will LoW Self Esteem and the fact they know they are different ...so they don't want any more attention brought to them??/ I am guessing....

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: susanonderko <susanonderko@...>Subject: ( ) Re: PSSA test--teen is annoyed/embarrassed by parents Date: Thursday, June 18, 2009, 4:31 PM

Jan, Melody ...what is this avoidant behavior all about. I hate to say it but my "all grown up" husband treats me like this in public too. I labeled it as avoidant. He apparently does not have AS but is a very AS like person at times. There is something about not wanting to be very personal in public is what I sense. My husband is socialwith other men provided they are talking about "sports, work or home projects". I never have tried just sticking to this subjects with himin public. One thing I think that is true is that I may make himfeel more emotional on any given topic then he would want to feelin public. I am sure I am much more affectionate than he can cope with ever. Perhaps if I was more business like always. It wouldbe wierd to be so disenggaged. Pam > > > > > > From: Sherry Burford <aspiemomone>> > Subject: Re: ( ) PSSA test scores-poor> > To:

> > Date: Sunday, June 14, 2009, 10:40 AM> > > > > > > > > > > > > > we havent got our pssa test results yet but i think my son may have done poorly when they did the eval at school they said his total score was an 83 which is where they expected him to score given the aspergers but i dont even know what that means either, but I had a teacher tell me that if they test poorly on the pssa dont even sweat it because it isnt really a reflection on our children more on the school and what the teachers are doing they are just trying to see how well the school is performing and teachers performance than the children. that is why it is state wide to see which schools are doing ok and which ones are not. these test scores also are what they base alot of school funding on, the schools who do poorly get more state funding than the schools who

students appear to be on target, does this sound right to you. did your child have problems with math and reading during school my son final grade was a d in both of those courses. But i have> > also been told by a different school pschycologist said and i quote " Ms. Burford there is no need to test your son at this time if he has a dx of aspergers he will qualify for that reason alone. Aspergers children simply do not test well so there is no point of testing him. " i was certainly appalled and even infuriated because that was in March of 2008, it took me moving out of that school district to another and let me say much better and my son is comfortable at school and really enjoys going and next year will be even better as he will finally have a iep to go by . by the way where do you live as i thought pssa are only in pa right? sherry> > > > > > > > > > > > From:

jrushen <jrushen (DOT) com>> > > > Sent: Saturday, June 13, 2009 11:29:38 PM> > Subject: ( ) PSSA test scores-poor> > > > > > > > Does anyone else's child do poorly on the PSSA's...the state mandated tests????? It seems each year my son does worse. > > > > We just got the results and he is below basic in math and basic in reading. > > > > Any ideas? Help? Depressing.. ..bugged me all day long...> > > > Jan> >>

[Guest guest]

that could be i quess i never thought about it like that. but it makes sense sherryFrom: rushen janice <jrushen@...> Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 7:13:20 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: PSSA test--teen is annoyed/embarrassed by

parents

I wonder if they don't want so much attention placed on them...they can't handle it? Or, they are afraid people will notice them or stare at them...that is ...if I am talking to my son...he doesn't want me to say anything...he is so afraid of what others may say...it may have to do will LoW Self Esteem and the fact they know they are different ...so they don't want any more attention brought to them??/ I am guessing....

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: susanonderko <susanonderko>Subject: ( ) Re: PSSA test--teen is annoyed/embarrassed by parents Date: Thursday, June 18, 2009, 4:31 PM

Jan, Melody ...what is this avoidant behavior all about. I hate to say it but my "all grown up" husband treats me like this in public too. I labeled it as avoidant. He apparently does not have AS but is a very AS like person at times. There is something about not wanting to be very personal in public is what I sense. My husband is socialwith other men provided they are talking about "sports, work or home projects". I never have tried just sticking to this subjects with himin public. One thing I think that is true is that I may make himfeel more emotional on any given topic then he would want to feelin public. I am sure I am much more affectionate than he can cope with ever. Perhaps if I was more business like always. It wouldbe wierd to be so disenggaged. Pam > > > > > > From: Sherry Burford <aspiemomone>> > Subject: Re: ( ) PSSA test scores-poor> > To:

> > Date: Sunday, June 14, 2009, 10:40 AM> > > > > > > > > > > > > > we havent got our pssa test results yet but i think my son may have done poorly when they did the eval at school they said his total score was an 83 which is where they expected him to score given the aspergers but i dont even know what that means either, but I had a teacher tell me that if they test poorly on the pssa dont even sweat it because it isnt really a reflection on our children more on the school and what the teachers are doing they are just trying to see how well the school is performing and teachers performance than the children. that is why it is state wide to see which schools are doing ok and which ones are not. these test scores also are what they base alot of school funding on, the schools who do poorly get more state funding than the schools who

students appear to be on target, does this sound right to you. did your child have problems with math and reading during school my son final grade was a d in both of those courses. But i have> > also been told by a different school pschycologist said and i quote " Ms. Burford there is no need to test your son at this time if he has a dx of aspergers he will qualify for that reason alone. Aspergers children simply do not test well so there is no point of testing him. " i was certainly appalled and even infuriated because that was in March of 2008, it took me moving out of that school district to another and let me say much better and my son is comfortable at school and really enjoys going and next year will be even better as he will finally have a iep to go by . by the way where do you live as i thought pssa are only in pa right? sherry> > > > > > > > > > > > From:

jrushen <jrushen (DOT) com>> > > > Sent: Saturday, June 13, 2009 11:29:38 PM> > Subject: ( ) PSSA test scores-poor> > > > > > > > Does anyone else's child do poorly on the PSSA's...the state mandated tests????? It seems each year my son does worse. > > > > We just got the results and he is below basic in math and basic in reading. > > > > Any ideas? Help? Depressing.. ..bugged me all day long...> > > > Jan> >>