Sibling issues

[Guest guest]

First, I want to say thank you to everyone who responded to my question about

the hardest part of raising a child with Autism. Thanks to your support, I

should do well on my paper (which is due on Monday!). I'll be sure to let you

know how it comes out.

Does anyone else have problems with an older sibling causing problems with your

Autie or Aspie child? I have a 14yo son with no disabilities. He goes out of

his way (it seems to my hubby and I) to cause problems with my 12yo with AS. He

seems to try and do anything that will rile his brother up to where my 12yo

breaks and loses control. Sometimes it's playing around and cutting up and not

stopping, other times it's just plain being mean to him for no reason. Take

this morning. Hubby and 12yo were ready to go get breakfast. The guys go out

on the weekends to spend time together, something they do everyweekend now that

my husband's job changed so he's off on the weekends. My younger son was

sitting on the couch, and my older son walked in and hit him in the back of the

head with a pair of socks. Of course it set the younger one off, and he came to

us instead of getting into a fight with his brother. As a result, my older son

didn't get to go with them, and now he's mad and stomping around.

I know my older son feels that the younger one gets more priviledges and less

consequences. I know he's jealous of all the extra attention my younger son

gets at times, too. We've tried giving my older son extra freedoms (when he

earns them). We allow him to participate in extra activities at school, even

though it tends to affect our afternoon/evening schedule and upset his brother.

I just don't know how to stop this. This isn't new. Our older son has been

doing this for years. Talking to him doesn't do any good. He says he knows all

the things we try to talk to him about, but just keeps doing them anyway. Now

he starts with our 2yo daughter. He comes in and tries to get her so wound up

that she screeches. In excitement, but still the same thing.

Sorry this is so long. I'm just so frustrated! Nothing we try seems to help.

Any thoughts would greatly appreciated.

Angi