Re: scared to sleep alone

[Guest guest]

My son who is 14 is still afraid. He sleeps in his room finally but is so afraid of ghosts...he keeps the door open and the hall light on...and he just started sleeping in his own room.

And, he too has anger issues. He threw his phone the other day and broke it. He lied to us and I found out. I can't tell him I know the truth as then the girl who told me won't say anything anymore. I will work on how to approach this. He said he dropped it while riding his bike. He know he did wrong....he stomped on his IPOD years ago and broke it and went w/out one for 2 years.

Jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: Lavendar And Spice <lavendarandspice@...> Sent: Sun, August 22, 2010 10:28:44 AMSubject: ( ) scared to sleep alone

hey all. My 11 y/o son is afraid to sleep in his room alone. It is a nightly chore to get him to go to bed. he has huge anxiety issues. So that leads to my 2 questions: How do I help him prepare for bed where he isn't scared to death to do so? and Do I take him to get evaluated for anxiety or do I wait and see what therapy produces first?He also has major anger issues. Yesterday, he had an explosion episode as I call them. Any hints on that would be appreciated too.Thanks in advance,Cat

[Guest guest]

About bed: Our behaviorist suggested to us, that I sleep on my daughter's floor

or in a spare bed in her room but not to have her

in our room or sleeping with me. Medication reduced anxiety to where

she does sleep in her room and wants the privacy too. She is now 12.

But we had issues with this from age 5 - 11.

About meltdowns: Is he hitting you? My daughter does this issue

has persisted from about age 5 thru now (age 12). I am sure

now after working with our behaviorist that I am not reinforcing

hitting. Some hitting in kids is due to parents using

aversive or physical punishments themselves. Or making

the punishment too punitive. When my daughter hits me

she has to do a chore, since she won't accept this

punishment she often loses some TV as the consequence.

I have been told not to escalate the punishment for hitting

beyond this. Eventually AS kids need to learn what triggers outburts

and work with their parents or behaviorist to learn other

skills or avoid overstimulation. It may take a long time

to get to this point of willingness on there part. Some parents turn

to medication like rispedal to control aggression especially

if someone is getting physically hurt.

..

Therapy vs. medication: If your son will work with a therapist

that would be great. Many AS kids though can't be reasoned

with and need to have a more behavioral approach that

involves systematic exposure or shaping of wanted behavior.

Some things with my 12 year old have taken years to shape.

best of luck,

Pam

>

> hey all. My 11 y/o son is afraid to sleep in his room alone. It is a nightly

chore to get him to go to bed. he has huge anxiety issues. So that leads to my 2

questions: How do I help him prepare for bed where he isn't scared to death to

do so? and Do I take him to get evaluated for anxiety or do I wait and see what

therapy produces first?

>

> He also has major anger issues. Yesterday, he had an explosion episode as I

call them. Any hints on that would be appreciated too.

>

> Thanks in advance,

> Cat

>

[Guest guest]

If he is going to see a therapist, this would be one of the first things I would mention. He/she will give strategies to help him with this fear. But the therapist will see pretty quickly whether these strategies will work, or if he needs more help in the form of medication.

But until he sees the therapist, try to comfort him, and stay with him for a while in his room until he is calm and reassure him that you will be close by and he is safe. And if he does go to sleep by himself without major problems, you can give him a reward of some kind, or a star on a chart to build up to some kind of reward. Our therapist always recommends rewarding the positive behavior more than emphasizing the negative.

Hope this helps.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Suzanne

suzmarkwood@...

From: Lavendar And Spice <lavendarandspice@...>Subject: ( ) scared to sleep alone Date: Sunday, August 22, 2010, 7:28 AM

hey all. My 11 y/o son is afraid to sleep in his room alone. It is a nightly chore to get him to go to bed. he has huge anxiety issues. So that leads to my 2 questions: How do I help him prepare for bed where he isn't scared to death to do so? and Do I take him to get evaluated for anxiety or do I wait and see what therapy produces first?He also has major anger issues. Yesterday, he had an explosion episode as I call them. Any hints on that would be appreciated too.Thanks in advance,Cat