Frustrated

[Guest guest]

Hi;

I guess I just need to vent a little here with my son. We are not exactly getting much help with him. He was diagnosed with bipolar about four years ago, however he was never fully stable then back in the summer it was mentioned that he may have mild to borderline Asp. A neuropsych and two psych have made this comment one claims expert in the field. Our psychologist who also claims expert says no he doesn't have it because his eye contact and IQ. Do to issues at school we pulled him out to homeschool him? Long story short there we were just told they didn't want him with his problems if we couldn't get them undercontrol, we were also told that by two other schools as well.

Home school itself has been great no problems there.

However we do have problems that are so frustrating. One is his mouth, he has such a terrible mouth he says words that we don't even speak. When asked about it he says Robbie says them so he can. (Robbie is the neighbors 17 year old grandson that lives with them. Also that lives with them is a daughter-in-law, granddaughter and grandson from a different son, as well as a daughter and her new baby. The house is crowded.) Robbie has been in alternative school, I think juvie and everything else. We don't like my kids being around Robbie, but the other little boy their age is the only one in the area for them to play with. So, it is a no win situation. We try to explain but it goes on deaf ears.

The next is that my son is rough. I mean when he tries to love on us he is rough and hurts. He sees his Dad and he tackles him roughly to the point that he has made my husbands back nearly go out more than once. We tell him not to be so rough and he starts in that we hate him, because we tell him to be easy. Then there are other times that he says he can do what he wants to and we can't do anything about it.

Last night I got so mad at him. One of the big rules in the house is no dishes around the computer. I found hide behind the monitor, a dozen glasses, two bowls, and I don't know how many forks and spoons. Since my oldest is always at the computer I knew it was him. I told him he had to get them and put them in the sink. He screamed and yelled he wasn't going to do it. I told him he couldn't go to his grandmothers, he started screaming that we hated him because we were making him do something. Huge fight he did finally pick up the biggest part of the dishes, however I did find one glass almost knocked on the floor this morning.

Oh, and then there was this weekend. I was in "the classroom" on my computer for a short bit to pay bills, I came back and it looked like he had took six soda cans and poured them on the floor and I found ten open on the table. He has this habit of opening one taking a drink, then open another. I get so frustrated at that and have told them not to drink anymore if they can't finish. So, this time I found this mess on the floor, I didn't feel good and was tired as I hadn't been sleeping well at night. I told him he had to clean it up, he screamed at me I hated him and I couldn't make him clean it up and he runs out the door.

We get that so much. We talk to the psychologist about that and this is when she says take something away from him. Well, what do you take away from him when nothing seems to be punishment for him. We have tried to take his grandmother away, but what do you do when you need a babysitter and he is supposed to be grounded from her. It doesn't seem to help much anyway, after an hour he is fine with it and still will go against everything.

I just get so tired of going behind him and cleaning up the same messes every day. I mean he is 12 years old and it is just the same old thing every morning the same spills the same, screaming and yelling, everything is the same and I want to break this habit. There are some things that I would love to lock up from him and give to him sparingly, but we have no place to put things. Our house is actually way to small for our family, but with the bills we have for him we can't afford anything else, so locking things up is hard. Then I think how do we handle this when he gets old, we can't keep things away from him forever.

thanks,

Karla