help

[Guest guest]

Hello everyone. i need to vent about the hubby everyone takes about the kids but

i would like to take about my not so DH. i am at wits end my older son has ADD

and my younger is AS/ ADHD. the DH can talk to the Tim (older one) but not Matt

(younger one) Tim and the DH get along fine but with Matt it is a whole nother

story he constantly yells at him or spanks him on the tush for not listening to

him. for instance the other day we needed Matt room clean so i said Matt i need

your room cleaned and Matt told me not now i don't want to clean it. so the DH

chimed in CLEAN YOUR ROOM NOW! so Matt screams back at him no i don't want to.

well i know the best way to get him to clean it but i always try the other way

first so i went in his room with him and just asked him if he would pick up his

hamper and put the dirty clothes in it and he was fine and did it and we

continued this process until the room was clean. i keep telling the DH to talk

to him but he won't.

i tell him that it must be repeated over and over again and if he doesn't

listen that he needs to try from a different approach but he doesn't do that

either. he has tried talking but that only lasts a week and the yelling starts

again because he says it doesn't work and i tell him that he needs to try

longer because it didn't come to me overnight but after constant trying. Matt

takes a sleeping pill and some days he doesn't want to take it so i don't push

it on him ( my grandmother takes one and is addicted to it and tells me i should

let him be on it) so the other day he is yelling at him to take it and finally

spanks him and Matt finally takes it. but the point of it is he knows i was

sleeping as i work 3rd shift and needed to get some sleep. it has become such a

strain on our relationship that i keep think of ways out of it but keep coming

to the conclusion that i need to wait a few more yrs until the boys are older.

there are some days that i

wonder if this is where Matt got it from and if i give up on him would Matt's

wife (in the future) also give up on him. so i am torn as to what to do. can

anyone help? thanks