Re: Re: I am so done.

[Guest guest]

I, too, have noticed a pattern of more meltdowns over the winter months, especially towards evening. God forbid my DS is tired or hungry! I've had to supplement him with little (healthy wholegrain) types of snacks throughout the day. At just 10, he's about 5' 4" and weighs only *maybe* 80 lbs soaking wet. He metabolizes food quickly, so he has a tendency to have his blood sugar drop rapidly. Yet he's the pickiest eater on the planet - it's all about textures and consistency. He'll tell you something you've made is 'awesome' or his 'favorite' but barely actually eat it. Then the meltdowns recycle... he's over stimulated, hungry, and off the wall...so winter, when we're all captive (thank YOU Mother Nature for all this lovely freakin' snow!) and can't get out to burn off steam, the meltdowns are

more frequent and more volatile! ~JackieFrom: Pamela <susanonderko@...> Sent: Thu, January 20, 2011 11:08:05 PMSubject: ( ) Re: I am so done.

That is tough, my 13 year old has been having more aggressive

behaviors toward me in the evening too. Her stress is high by

the end of the day and so many little things set her off. I

have always noticed this more in the winter, as my daughter

any way seems more fatigued and prone to more illnesses.

I tried last winter a positive reinforcement behavior plan but

when she still escalated, I was at a loss what to say or do.

I have been seeing a therapist that treats people with

major emotional regulation problems and the therapist

offered this strategy "I know you like it best when things don't

change and I didn't mean to upset you by doing this, I know

you can stop yelling and calm down. I didn't mean to upset you."

I think it does help a little rather than yelling to be quiet,

or rather than say you don't earn a privelege (which makes

my daughter say she doesn't care and tends to make her mader).

I think this stratgy is the way we want them to think,

we want them to realize we didn't want to hurt them and

they can calm down. My daughter hits me too especially

after school, she holds herself together nicely at school.

Then wow! This strategy is what I am using now.

At home if I get out of her sight she calms down quickly often.

The car is the hardest most frustrating place I think.

Take care, I know how stressful this is.

Pam

athei

>

> I don't know where else to turn besides people who know what I am feeling right now. I have a aspie daughter who is 12 and three other daughters who are NT. Madeline hit puberty and lord have mercy it's been a whirlwind. Her behaviors have worsened and It's just draining me. Tonight we were at girl scouts and my younger daughter still had her meeting after my older daughters. I haven't felt well and my husband and I were going to trade places. After telling my older dd she was coming home with me she had a massive meltdown. Changing anything in the lineup just sends her into a major meltdown. Normally they aren't that big and they can be handled on the QT. Tonight..nope..it was bad. I am still waiting for the knock on the door from the cops that I know another mom probably called on me. She screamed, kicked the van door and the window...Sometimes I just wish life was soo much more simple.

>

>

>

> Mom to my 4 girls

> Madeline, Cayla, Arabella, & Vincenza

> "You are the TRIP I did not take

> You are the PEARLS I cannot buy

> You are the blue Italian LAKE

> YOU are my piece of foreign SKY"

> ---Anne ----

>

[Guest guest]

Have you had his D3 levels checked? I know my sons was in the dirt and its helped him a lot to give him extra in the winter. I read up on what it does since when my mom was alive she had alzheimers and also had hers too low. Both her and my son would have afternoon meltdowns (sundowners). Might be something to look into.

Sandy

In a message dated 1/21/2011 8:12:56 A.M. Eastern Standard Time, jackiemulroy@... writes:

I, too, have noticed a pattern of more meltdowns over the winter months, especially towards evening. God forbid my DS is tired or hungry! I've had to supplement him with little (healthy wholegrain) types of snacks throughout the day. At just 10, he's about 5' 4" and weighs only *maybe* 80 lbs soaking wet. He metabolizes food quickly, so he has a tendency to have his blood sugar drop rapidly. Yet he's the pickiest eater on the planet - it's all about textures and consistency. He'll tell you something you've made is 'awesome' or his 'favorite' but barely actually eat it. Then the meltdowns recycle... he's over stimulated, hungry, and off the wall...so winter, when we're all captive (thank YOU Mother Nature for all this lovely freakin' snow!) and can't get out to burn off steam, the meltdowns are more frequent and more volatile!

~Jackie

From: Pamela <susanonderko@...> Sent: Thu, January 20, 2011 11:08:05 PMSubject: ( ) Re: I am so done.

That is tough, my 13 year old has been having more aggressive behaviors toward me in the evening too. Her stress is high bythe end of the day and so many little things set her off. Ihave always noticed this more in the winter, as my daughter any way seems more fatigued and prone to more illnesses.I tried last winter a positive reinforcement behavior plan butwhen she still escalated, I was at a loss what to say or do.I have been seeing a therapist that treats people with major emotional regulation problems and the therapistoffered this strategy "I know you like it best when things don'tchange and I didn't mean to upset you by doing this, I know you can stop yelling and calm down. I didn't mean to upset you."I think it does help a little rather than yelling to be quiet,or rather than say you don't earn a privelege (which makesmy daughter say she doesn't care and tends to make her mader). I think this stratgy is the way we want them to think, we want them to realize we didn't want to hurt them and they can calm down. My daughter hits me too especiallyafter school, she holds herself together nicely at school.Then wow! This strategy is what I am using now. At home if I get out of her sight she calms down quickly often.The car is the hardest most frustrating place I think.Take care, I know how stressful this is.Pam athei >> I don't know where else to turn besides people who know what I am feeling right now. I have a aspie daughter who is 12 and three other daughters who are NT. Madeline hit puberty and lord have mercy it's been a whirlwind. Her behaviors have worsened and It's just draining me. Tonight we were at girl scouts and my younger daughter still had her meeting after my older daughters. I haven't felt well and my husband and I were going to trade places. After telling my older dd she was coming home with me she had a massive meltdown. Changing anything in the lineup just sends her into a major meltdown. Normally they aren't that big and they can be handled on the QT. Tonight..nope..it was bad. I am still waiting for the knock on the door from the cops that I know another mom probably called on me. She screamed, kicked the van door and the window...Sometimes I just wish life was soo much more simple.> > > > Mom to my 4 girls> Madeline, Cayla, Arabella, & Vincenza> "You are the TRIP I did not take> You are the PEARLS I cannot buy> You are the blue Italian LAKE> YOU are my piece of foreign SKY"> ---Anne ---->