Re: Sharing for the first time

May 14, 2010

I have to admit that there were other more obvious problems that I and my son

have had that was not from the AS.

I'm a dad who has all the symptoms (not diagnosed but have a professional

opinion supporting). My son (13 this month) is dx. What I learned is that

basically a low-active thyroid has been my problem. There are two things I did

which helped me. getting more than 8 hr is important. 9 or 10 has been good. I

learned that if I tried to get a few more winks when it's time to get up, I got

more and more sleepy. What I needed was to develope normal routine where there

was something I really wanted to do, BEFORE the normal time I had been getting

up. Getting up extra early (but also going to bet earlier) made me feel vigorous

and more alive than ever, without burning out by noon!

Now for my 12yo son, I find that he has trouble because (1) he doesn't have

enough consistent help to get to bed early (he stays on computer games or he has

too many things to do before bed that should have been done earlier). (2) His

whole routine is inconsistent. When things 'aren't right', even going to bed on

time leaves us stressed so that our mind is whirring like crazy and we don't get

rest. I think it could help a lot just to simplify environment and routines, but

I realize it's harder to control as a parent especially when the child is older,

or in my case I've got all kinds of responsibilities. I've got lots to

straighten out so I have trouble helping my ds when he can't even live here with

me yet. He's with his step mom for now, and she's having a hard time coping

since she hasn't experienced the same challenges but does suffer from

depression.

>

> OK...am I wrong in understanding that aspergers is often

> associated with severe difficulty getting up and going in

> the morning no matter how much sleep is had?

>

May 15, 2010

I am not much help, but I share your frustration about people just getting it. My child can do some work in school, but since she was 3, I could never get her to do anything at home. Can't even get her to shower. I have heard her say on several occasions, that she needs to be scared into doing things. She told me to invite some guests over and then she may be able to get into the shower. It works sometimes. It must shake her brain a bit or something. It is so hard and exhausting to explain and have others "get" this. :0(On May 14, 2010, at 6:54 PM, in2tea4me wrote:

On Monday of this week, after ten weeks of a supposed observation of our 16 year old son (in 10th grade)who was diagnosed a year ago with AS... the school psychologist, County Head for Spec Ed, the school Special Ed teacher, and one of the Assistant Principals with a background in Special Ed...all met with my husband, son , and myself to determine whether he will be evaluated for an IEP. He currently has a 504 plan that allows for extra time to turn in homework as needed, a separate test area if needed, and some other things that never come up. He never advocates for any of the 504 accomodations, never asks for help. He does not do ANY homework outside of school (he gets some done at school) and nothing we do can get him to do it. He will not stay after school either. He has never communicated well with us and even less as a teenager. He hates us to ask questions and if I do, he will be mad for the rest of the night and possibly the next day too.

Anyway, the end result is that they ARE going to administer some tests to get a better fix on what specific learning difficulties he may have, but they said they believe that he is "choosing" to do defeating behavior and THAT is NOT a learning disability. For example, I asked if an IEP would allow the rule for out-of-school- suspension to be waived when he has more than 10 (or whatever the amount is) tardies. I explained that getting him up in the morning was difficult because of the aspergers. The COUNTY HEAD of Special Ed told me that that is not an aspect of aspergers and I firmly told her that it most certainly is. She held her ground and said that all adolescents have difficulty with getting up in the morning and that this is a behavioral issue that parents deal with all the time. Besides, she informed me that there is no accomodation with an IEP for tardies...the same rules apply unless there is a physical medical condition that causes the tardiness. OK...am I wrong in understanding that aspergers is often associated with severe difficulty getting up and going in the morning no matter how much sleep is had? Later. she asked our son why he doesn't do his work (he is close to failing two core classes) and he said because it doesn't interest him. She , and the others, said that is not a special ed issue. They also said that a D in an Honors Class is fine because that translates into a C in regular classes. The COUNTY HEAD told us that he should choose only regular classes next year rather than Honors Classes in order to minimize stress since we expressed the belief that stress kicks in asperger "shut down" for him. It does, but it's not because the educational material is difficult in itself...it is other stuff going on in the school or classroom that is the problem we just don't understand.

I am new to all of this and what I learned, after a direct question about this, is that Special Ed is not there to help students maximize their potential. Though he may have an IQ in the 120s, making Cs in regular classes is fine as far as the state special ed stipulations go. He would be bored silly in regular classes and he is not tolerant of slow thinkers in normal life so I would expect he is the same in school. I called it dumbing up to my husband because he'll make Cs instead of Ds and learn even less than he is learning now. They do not seem to see the correlation that his lack of willingness to accomplish work is related to his complete inability to deal with frustration. I don't know WHY the work or perhaps the directions or the processing in some form is creating frustration for him because I'm not in school to see it and he does not communicate with us about it. It is incredibly difficult for me to see this very smart young man with so much potential spiral down without being able to understand what the triggers are to give him tools or a way to work around them. And now, my hope that Special Ed would help him appears very unlikely since they explained that they are educational providers and only when a disability impairs the child's ability to obtain that education are they required to aid the child. Because he is doing "fine" in their estimation in terms of his education i.e. Ds in his classes, there does not appear to be a disability impacting his education. They said if he chooses not to do homework or projects, that is a choice a lot of teenagers make. I didn't bother explaining that he has a total disconnect with projected future desires and understaning how his current grades do not support those desires. The choices he is making are driven by the disabiilty itself...not his lack of motivation or desire. When I talked to him after the meeting, he said that he wants to be pushed to reach his potential, not be average. It is heartbreaking to see the lack of con!

trol he has to reach his potential.

After anticipating and waiting so long for some hope...I came away from the meeting very dissapointed. I guess I expected something unrealistic in terms of public education support. Should I contiue to advocate for an IEP...if so, why? Was I completely off base here in thinking an IEP would give him tools to get the education he deserves. They also told me that a lot of kids really resent getting the IEP and being put in a class for special ed. That was the icing on top of the cake. I do think he would benefit from being in a special ed class for one period each day but now I wonder if it is a stigma since they brought it up.

I feel like we have no direction to head toward now and the help I thought the school could provide is not what they are required to provide by law apparently. We live in NC.

Thank you for reading this long story. Nothing would make me happier than to believe that his issues are just adolescent and by "choice" rather than accept the dx from a licensed psychologist that he sees every single week! We are now looking at a private boarding school that specializes in learning disabilities but the cost is astronomical. My husband is in his 60s, I'm in my 50s and we would be using all of our savings and going into retirement funds. Has anyone sent their aspie student to a private school like that? Was it worth it???? did it make a long term difference in their ability to live independently and happily? We cannot homeschool (both work)and he would not cooperate anyway. We would like to be able to visit with him regularly so the private schools we would consider would have to be within a reasonable 6 hours drive or less.

May 15, 2010

You want the IEP. The IEP can last thru 21. You can get services

to help your son learn to drive (special needs if need be),

and vocational training if need be. The people I know from

groups that send their kids to boarding schools

are the one with kids that make homelife misearble and

the parents are afraid of the kids. This is not your

situation. That is not your case. And there

are lots of better uses for your money right now. Our daughter is like your son

but younger (12 years old) all the same issues

maybe worse our daughter was explosive too. You need to assemble

some people to help you. You need to get a psychiatrist involved

because of the tardies (called school refusal and is a diagnosis),

you need a behaviorist (I can recommend Yale) and you need to

ask for a school behavorist to be on the IEP evalaution team.

Lastly, at some point contact Dr. Mooney at the Maple Leaf Clinic

in VT he will talk to you on the phone. He will likely

tell you that AS kids belong in their own towns and that

they need to learn how to get along with people so they

can hold a job. He was not concerned about grades wwhen

I talked to him last spring. He wanted us to focus on

her social skills. Right now you need your son in school

and not called a behavior problem.

Here are the steps we went through to get our daughter back

to school and not to have tardies an issue.

****Pick a psychiatrist to evaluate (one that advocates).

I would try to find local support from a adolescent

psychiatrist that will " advocate at the school "

this is very important. Make sure they will help with the

school issues. School refusal is a diagnosis. You need

a behavioral intervention plan and these go into IEPs

so you need an IEP. The doctor has to at least write a

letter that your son has AS and that this

is one reason for the tardies and that you will

be working with the doctor and Yale on this

but that there also needs to be an IEP.

****Contact Yale University Parent and Child Clinic

Yale is expert in addressing your son't types of behaviors.

Yale will contact your school and you can then write a Behavioral

Intervention Plan. You can work with them weekly over the phone for

and they will also contact the school. You can not escalate

kids that are ridgid. Yale gets this. Our therapist is Bernadette

Lecza. This will show that you are doing what needs to be done

and the school needs to help. Yale will help figure out

what. This can all be done over the phone with Yale. They

helped us greatly with the same problem.

****Get Classified under IEP

You have to have an IEP to get a BIP Behavioral Intervention

Plan otherwise your son is truant when he is late. You need

to see a psychiatrist to have an Medical Doctor back you up.

A 504 just won't be enough and won't give you suppoprt past the

age of 18. Your son can use support for after 18.

Make sure the psychaitrist is an adolescent MD and make

sure they will get involved with the school. This

often means the doctor is going to be " out of network "

The psychiatrist can diagnosis As and give a secondary

diagnosis such as oppositional or anxiety for the IEP.

Perhaps your son doesn't need medication. See the

psychiatrist you need help.

*** You could ask that a autism behaviorist be added to IEP evaluation team. You

put in writing that your son is missing school

and having issues due to Asperger Syndrome. Ask in writing

to have a behaviorist do a functional behavioral assessment

on your son't behaviors and to be part of the team.

Let them know you will work with Yale too on home issues to insure

you are shaping school attendance. You all need to work together.

You agree to see a psychiatrist but you pick it so they

advocate for you. Work together psychiatrist, Yale, and the

school.

***If your son won't cooperate

Contact Yale first they will help shape each behavior you want.

My daughter was not attending school last spring and she

would not take medication. Yale helped me with both

problems.

Let me know if you need anymore info. We went through this same

problem. You need some support to say this is not bad behavior

this is part of a disorder.

Pam

>

> On Monday of this week, after ten weeks of a supposed observation of our 16

year old son (in 10th grade)who was diagnosed a year ago with AS... the school

psychologist, County Head for Spec Ed, the school Special Ed teacher, and one of

the Assistant Principals with a background in Special Ed...all met with my

husband, son , and myself to determine whether he will be evaluated for an IEP.

He currently has a 504 plan that allows for extra time to turn in homework as

needed, a separate test area if needed, and some other things that never come

up. He never advocates for any of the 504 accomodations, never asks for help.

He does not do ANY homework outside of school (he gets some done at school) and

nothing we do can get him to do it. He will not stay after school either. He

has never communicated well with us and even less as a teenager. He hates us

to ask questions and if I do, he will be mad for the rest of the night and

possibly the next day too.

>

> Anyway, the end result is that they ARE going to administer some tests to get

a better fix on what specific learning difficulties he may have, but they said

they believe that he is " choosing " to do defeating behavior and THAT is NOT a

learning disability. For example, I asked if an IEP would allow the rule for

out-of-school- suspension to be waived when he has more than 10 (or whatever the

amount is) tardies. I explained that getting him up in the morning was

difficult because of the aspergers. The COUNTY HEAD of Special Ed told me that

that is not an aspect of aspergers and I firmly told her that it most certainly

is. She held her ground and said that all adolescents have difficulty with

getting up in the morning and that this is a behavioral issue that parents deal

with all the time. Besides, she informed me that there is no accomodation with

an IEP for tardies...the same rules apply unless there is a physical medical

condition that causes the tardiness. OK...am I wrong in understanding that

aspergers is often associated with severe difficulty getting up and going in the

morning no matter how much sleep is had? Later. she asked our son why he

doesn't do his work (he is close to failing two core classes) and he said

because it doesn't interest him. She , and the others, said that is not a

special ed issue. They also said that a D in an Honors Class is fine because

that translates into a C in regular classes. The COUNTY HEAD told us that he

should choose only regular classes next year rather than Honors Classes in order

to minimize stress since we expressed the belief that stress kicks in asperger

" shut down " for him. It does, but it's not because the educational material is

difficult in itself...it is other stuff going on in the school or classroom that

is the problem we just don't understand.

>

> I am new to all of this and what I learned, after a direct question about

this, is that Special Ed is not there to help students maximize their potential.

Though he may have an IQ in the 120s, making Cs in regular classes is fine as

far as the state special ed stipulations go. He would be bored silly in regular

classes and he is not tolerant of slow thinkers in normal life so I would expect

he is the same in school. I called it dumbing up to my husband because he'll

make Cs instead of Ds and learn even less than he is learning now. They do not

seem to see the correlation that his lack of willingness to accomplish work is

related to his complete inability to deal with frustration. I don't know WHY

the work or perhaps the directions or the processing in some form is creating

frustration for him because I'm not in school to see it and he does not

communicate with us about it. It is incredibly difficult for me to see this

very smart young man with so much potential spiral down without being able to

understand what the triggers are to give him tools or a way to work around them.

And now, my hope that Special Ed would help him appears very unlikely since they

explained that they are educational providers and only when a disability impairs

the child's ability to obtain that education are they required to aid the child.

Because he is doing " fine " in their estimation in terms of his education i.e. Ds

in his classes, there does not appear to be a disability impacting his

education. They said if he chooses not to do homework or projects, that is a

choice a lot of teenagers make. I didn't bother explaining that he has a total

disconnect with projected future desires and understaning how his current grades

do not support those desires. The choices he is making are driven by the

disabiilty itself...not his lack of motivation or desire. When I talked to him

after the meeting, he said that he wants to be pushed to reach his potential,

not be average. It is heartbreaking to see the lack of control he has to reach

his potential.

>

> After anticipating and waiting so long for some hope...I came away from the

meeting very dissapointed. I guess I expected something unrealistic in terms of

public education support. Should I contiue to advocate for an IEP...if so,

why? Was I completely off base here in thinking an IEP would give him tools to

get the education he deserves. They also told me that a lot of kids really

resent getting the IEP and being put in a class for special ed. That was the

icing on top of the cake. I do think he would benefit from being in a special

ed class for one period each day but now I wonder if it is a stigma since they

brought it up.

>

> I feel like we have no direction to head toward now and the help I thought the

school could provide is not what they are required to provide by law apparently.

We live in NC.

>

> Thank you for reading this long story. Nothing would make me happier than to

believe that his issues are just adolescent and by " choice " rather than accept

the dx from a licensed psychologist that he sees every single week! We are now

looking at a private boarding school that specializes in learning disabilities

but the cost is astronomical. My husband is in his 60s, I'm in my 50s and we

would be using all of our savings and going into retirement funds. Has anyone

sent their aspie student to a private school like that? Was it worth it????

did it make a long term difference in their ability to live independently and

happily? We cannot homeschool (both work)and he would not cooperate anyway. We

would like to be able to visit with him regularly so the private schools we

would consider would have to be within a reasonable 6 hours drive or less.

>

May 15, 2010

Many kids with AS or anxiety have these same issues with

having trouble going to sleep and getting up. My daughter seems

to relax more after dinner and wants to fit in her interests

before bed. Then she is very alert and not sleepy. I have to

turn off the internet at 8pm and that stinker will sit

by her bed and draw or read. I have to be like an aide at her

side all night telling her what to do next and keeping my

mood up so that it is light and I am not nagging or she escalates

pretty easy into anger. It is a realy challenge. I do have

a spare room with her toys, crafts, ipods, etc that she has

to earn to get at. I find I can't keep up this high level

of assiting and monitoring day in and out to reduce tardies

completely. But having her in school is my top priority.

Pam

> >

>

> > OK...am I wrong in understanding that aspergers is often

> > associated with severe difficulty getting up and going in

> > the morning no matter how much sleep is had?

>

> >

>

May 15, 2010

I don't know... just reading this... part of it sounds a bit too controlling. I get I am coming at it from a different perspective, but if I had gotten this sort of treatment, I probably would've rebelled even more (and I am not the rebelling sort). I personally hated the idea of taking drugs because I knew more about them then most psycatrists (studied various court cases about the negative after effects, not to mention had a cousin that had severe kidney problems caused by them).

As for grades not being important, and staying in your hometown... thats only true to a point and much more true for a 12 year old then a 16 year old. 12 year olds still have a lot of time and their grades matter little when they are 12. When you are 16 and in high school every single grade can be the difference between different colleges or even job chances. Then there is the fact that if you are getting bullied and picked on... your not too likely to be getting better at making friends. A friend, any friend, helps you so much more then being lonely and bullied every day. Just some food for thought.

From: susanonderko@...Date: Sat, 15 May 2010 20:20:47 +0000Subject: ( ) Re: Sharing for the first time

You want the IEP. The IEP can last thru 21. You can get servicesto help your son learn to drive (special needs if need be),and vocational training if need be. The people I know from groups that send their kids to boarding schoolsare the one with kids that make homelife misearble andthe parents are afraid of the kids. This is not your situation. That is not your case. And thereare lots of better uses for your money right now. Our daughter is like your son but younger (12 years old) all the same issuesmaybe worse our daughter was explosive too. You need to assemblesome people to help you. You need to get a psychiatrist involvedbecause of the tardies (called school refusal and is a diagnosis),you need a behaviorist (I can recommend Yale) and you need to ask for a school behavorist to be on the IEP evalaution team.Lastly, at some point contact Dr. Mooney at the Maple Leaf Clinicin VT he will talk to you on the phone. He will likelytell you that AS kids belong in their own towns and thatthey need to learn how to get along with people so theycan hold a job. He was not concerned about grades wwhenI talked to him last spring. He wanted us to focus on her social skills. Right now you need your son in school and not called a behavior problem. Here are the steps we went through to get our daughter backto school and not to have tardies an issue. ****Pick a psychiatrist to evaluate (one that advocates). I would try to find local support from a adolescent psychiatrist that will "advocate at the school"this is very important. Make sure they will help with the school issues. School refusal is a diagnosis. You needa behavioral intervention plan and these go into IEPs so you need an IEP. The doctor has to at least write aletter that your son has AS and that thisis one reason for the tardies and that you willbe working with the doctor and Yale on this but that there also needs to be an IEP. ****Contact Yale University Parent and Child ClinicYale is expert in addressing your son't types of behaviors.Yale will contact your school and you can then write a Behavioral Intervention Plan. You can work with them weekly over the phone forand they will also contact the school. You can not escalatekids that are ridgid. Yale gets this. Our therapist is BernadetteLecza. This will show that you are doing what needs to be doneand the school needs to help. Yale will help figure outwhat. This can all be done over the phone with Yale. They helped us greatly with the same problem.****Get Classified under IEPYou have to have an IEP to get a BIP Behavioral InterventionPlan otherwise your son is truant when he is late. You needto see a psychiatrist to have an Medical Doctor back you up.A 504 just won't be enough and won't give you suppoprt past the age of 18. Your son can use support for after 18. Make sure the psychaitrist is an adolescent MD and makesure they will get involved with the school. Thisoften means the doctor is going to be "out of network"The psychiatrist can diagnosis As and give a secondary diagnosis such as oppositional or anxiety for the IEP.Perhaps your son doesn't need medication. See the psychiatrist you need help. *** You could ask that a autism behaviorist be added to IEP evaluation team. You put in writing that your son is missing schooland having issues due to Asperger Syndrome. Ask in writingto have a behaviorist do a functional behavioral assessmenton your son't behaviors and to be part of the team. Let them know you will work with Yale too on home issues to insureyou are shaping school attendance. You all need to work together.You agree to see a psychiatrist but you pick it so they advocate for you. Work together psychiatrist, Yale, and the school. ***If your son won't cooperate Contact Yale first they will help shape each behavior you want.My daughter was not attending school last spring and shewould not take medication. Yale helped me with both problems. Let me know if you need anymore info. We went through this sameproblem. You need some support to say this is not bad behaviorthis is part of a disorder. Pam >> On Monday of this week, after ten weeks of a supposed observation of our 16 year old son (in 10th grade)who was diagnosed a year ago with AS... the school psychologist, County Head for Spec Ed, the school Special Ed teacher, and one of the Assistant Principals with a background in Special Ed...all met with my husband, son , and myself to determine whether he will be evaluated for an IEP. He currently has a 504 plan that allows for extra time to turn in homework as needed, a separate test area if needed, and some other things that never come up. He never advocates for any of the 504 accomodations, never asks for help. He does not do ANY homework outside of school (he gets some done at school) and nothing we do can get him to do it. He will not stay after school either. He has never communicated well with us and even less as a teenager. He hates us to ask questions and if I do, he will be mad for the rest of the night and possibly the next day too.> > Anyway, the end result is that they ARE going to administer some tests to get a better fix on what specific learning difficulties he may have, but they said they believe that he is "choosing" to do defeating behavior and THAT is NOT a learning disability. For example, I asked if an IEP would allow the rule for out-of-school- suspension to be waived when he has more than 10 (or whatever the amount is) tardies. I explained that getting him up in the morning was difficult because of the aspergers. The COUNTY HEAD of Special Ed told me that that is not an aspect of aspergers and I firmly told her that it most certainly is. She held her ground and said that all adolescents have difficulty with getting up in the morning and that this is a behavioral issue that parents deal with all the time. Besides, she informed me that there is no accomodation with an IEP for tardies...the same rules apply unless there is a physical medical condition that causes the tardiness. OK...am I wrong in understanding that aspergers is often associated with severe difficulty getting up and going in the morning no matter how much sleep is had? Later. she asked our son why he doesn't do his work (he is close to failing two core classes) and he said because it doesn't interest him. She , and the others, said that is not a special ed issue. They also said that a D in an Honors Class is fine because that translates into a C in regular classes. The COUNTY HEAD told us that he should choose only regular classes next year rather than Honors Classes in order to minimize stress since we expressed the belief that stress kicks in asperger "shut down" for him. It does, but it's not because the educational material is difficult in itself...it is other stuff going on in the school or classroom that is the problem we just don't understand.> > I am new to all of this and what I learned, after a direct question about this, is that Special Ed is not there to help students maximize their potential. Though he may have an IQ in the 120s, making Cs in regular classes is fine as far as the state special ed stipulations go. He would be bored silly in regular classes and he is not tolerant of slow thinkers in normal life so I would expect he is the same in school. I called it dumbing up to my husband because he'll make Cs instead of Ds and learn even less than he is learning now. They do not seem to see the correlation that his lack of willingness to accomplish work is related to his complete inability to deal with frustration. I don't know WHY the work or perhaps the directions or the processing in some form is creating frustration for him because I'm not in school to see it and he does not communicate with us about it. It is incredibly difficult for me to see this very smart young man with so much potential spiral down without being able to understand what the triggers are to give him tools or a way to work around them. And now, my hope that Special Ed would help him appears very unlikely since they explained that they are educational providers and only when a disability impairs the child's ability to obtain that education are they required to aid the child. Because he is doing "fine" in their estimation in terms of his education i.e. Ds in his classes, there does not appear to be a disability impacting his education. They said if he chooses not to do homework or projects, that is a choice a lot of teenagers make. I didn't bother explaining that he has a total disconnect with projected future desires and understaning how his current grades do not support those desires. The choices he is making are driven by the disabiilty itself...not his lack of motivation or desire. When I talked to him after the meeting, he said that he wants to be pushed to reach his potential, not be average. It is heartbreaking to see the lack of control he has to reach his potential. > > After anticipating and waiting so long for some hope...I came away from the meeting very dissapointed. I guess I expected something unrealistic in terms of public education support. Should I contiue to advocate for an IEP...if so, why? Was I completely off base here in thinking an IEP would give him tools to get the education he deserves. They also told me that a lot of kids really resent getting the IEP and being put in a class for special ed. That was the icing on top of the cake. I do think he would benefit from being in a special ed class for one period each day but now I wonder if it is a stigma since they brought it up.> > I feel like we have no direction to head toward now and the help I thought the school could provide is not what they are required to provide by law apparently. We live in NC.> > Thank you for reading this long story. Nothing would make me happier than to believe that his issues are just adolescent and by "choice" rather than accept the dx from a licensed psychologist that he sees every single week! We are now looking at a private boarding school that specializes in learning disabilities but the cost is astronomical. My husband is in his 60s, I'm in my 50s and we would be using all of our savings and going into retirement funds. Has anyone sent their aspie student to a private school like that? Was it worth it???? did it make a long term difference in their ability to live independently and happily? We cannot homeschool (both work)and he would not cooperate anyway. We would like to be able to visit with him regularly so the private schools we would consider would have to be within a reasonable 6 hours drive or less. > > >

The New Busy is not the too busy. Combine all your e-mail accounts with Hotmail. Get busy.

May 16, 2010

Hi , these are just some thoughts. I have a son, now 21, with

HFA/Aspergers and also has had OCD since 6th grade.

When you wrote about not doing any schoolwork at home and also how it's hard to

get him up & going in the mornings -- possible OCD crossed my mind. Has he ever

shown any type of behaviors that might be rituals, compulsions or having

constant distracting thoughts? Any avoidance of doing things? (So far as I

know, trouble getting up in the a.m. is not part of AS)

I would go for any testing they are willing to do. Might turn up something

since your son doesn't want to talk about anything, or he may not be able to

express what the problem is due to his not really knowing WHY he as a problem in

some areas.

Regarding not doing the work because it doesn't interest him, yet wants to be

pushed to reach his potential -- I'm wondering how was he with school prior to

now, did he have these same outlook & difficulties back in middle school and

elementary school? still didn't do homework, ignored classes that were

boring....? The harder or interesting classes -- is he making A's in them,

doing the work?

Private school -- I don't see that helping at all. Seems the current problems

need addressed, or he'd just do the same thing at another school.

My son (also gifted), his OCD affected him with schoolwork too. And stress

affects OCD, can make it worse. We did have him skip some honors level courses

(you could pick regular for some, honors for others) as mostly honors just meant

more writing, more homework, but what you were learning was really the same. So

some teachers suggested that he take the regular so as to skip the extra

writing, etc. So we did that. But for some, probably science & math type, he

chose to take honors. We just mixed it up. Worked well for him. We also had

a 504 Plan for him from 6th grade to 12th grade, with accommodations he could

use when needed. I also was mostly the one to do the talking there at those

meetings. But he got better about it later in high school, as to what he

needed, didn't need, if I asked him.

Kids can resent having an IEP or being sent to " that room. " It varies. Really,

no one should know he has an IEP. And I would think " that room " could be only

for one class period so that it could be a type " study hall " maybe, to get some

work done and any help with instructions he needed (if needed) since he won't do

work at home?

If he plans to go to college -- maybe printing out what colleges require for

admission so far as what courses were taken in high school, the credits needed,

would help. Then maybe he would see how he needs to get good grades/credit in

all the courses, even those boring ones. And a D in honors is like a C in

regular, but wouldn't a C in honors be better...? Sometimes logic may work if

they are black/white thinkers and you can show them on paper (that printout).

single mom, 3 sons