Re: hurting herself, does somebody has that problem?

[Guest guest]

Hi,She has several scars on her legs and arms; I have been telling her to stop that because people might think I did that. You are right, I think she does not realized she did it until she sees blood then she ask me for a bandage. I am afraid her skin can get infected of pinching herself... Re: ( ) Re: Everybody got their intro letters in?>> This is fantastic. I appreciate this so much. I think you've put so much> into your letter and it shows great detail and thought. Thank you.>> On Tue, Aug 18, 2009 at 11:03 AM, r_woman2 <me2ruth@...> wrote:>> >> >> > > > >> > > Could someone post one of their letters? Take your child's name out,> but> > I want to see one so if I can see if I'm on the right track. I'd> appreciate> > it and maybe other could be helped, too?> >> > Following is my son's. He is 14yo, incoming 9th grader with IEP for> > organization and social skills. The formatting is not going to come out> on> > the listserv, so please have patience with that.> >> > The letter is nothing great, but teachers seem to appreciate it. Before I> > started doing this several years ago, teachers would be caught totally> > off-guard by my son and it was not pretty.> >> > Before he had a 504 or an IEP, I would do it a little differently, since> > the teachers were getting no info at all. Instead of the "Challenges> which> > may not be obvious" section, I had several sections: Problems other> teachers> > have had due to my son's disability, Solutions other teachers have found,> > Things that are counterproductive, What we do at home to support school.> I> > also included more intro, including info from evaluations.> >> > Remember you are going to be talking a lot to your child's teachers and> > administrators all year, so you don't have to say everything and it> doesn't> > have to be perfect. You just don't want them to be caught off guard and> get> > off to a bad start.> >> > Hope this helps!> >> > ------------------------> >> > To the teachers of ----- -----> >> > Hello, we are -----’ parents. We are writing this because many of> > -----’ teachers have commented that he “was a first†or “was a> > learning experience.†Many have found ----- to be a challenge. We hope> that> > the following information will be helpful.> >> > Intro> >> > ----- has been diagnosed with a type of autism called Asperger Disorder> and> > also Developmental Coordination Disorder. He has also been termed> > “emotionally fragile†by ----- Hospital.> >> > Strengths> > • Academic> > o Keen interests and skills in certain subjects> > o High academic ability> > o Reading and vocabulary> > o Creative writing> > o Science> > • Learning style> > o Auditory> > o Group (as opposed to solitary)> > o Hands-on> > • Personality> > o Kind and affectionate, positive attitude> > o Imaginative and creative> > o Good sense of humor> > o Independent> >> > Weaknesses> >> > It is helpful to note that ----- is not typical of Asperger Disorder in> > some ways. His visual-spatial processing skills are very average, while> his> > auditory processing skills are very high. He often prefers working on a> team> > as opposed to learning on his own, although he may also get very absorbed> in> > individual projects if he finds them very interesting.> >> > It is important to understand -----’ weaknesses, because they come out> > looking like attention problems when he in fact he is having> communication> > breakdowns.> >> > It is easy to mistake ----- in shutdown mode for someone simply being> > well-behaved and quiet.> >> > • Academic> > o Math> > o Written expression (grammar, punctuation, taking perspective)> > • Social cognitive> > o Using and understanding non-verbal behaviors> > o Developing appropriate peer relationships> > o Taking perspective> > o Pragmatic language> > • Executive functioning> > o Organization and planning> > o Working memory> > o Initiation> > • Processing speed> > • Coordination> > o Manual dexterity> > o Bilateral (top and bottom) coordination> > o To a lesser extent, left-right coordination> > • Hypo-sensitive> > o Doesn’t seek sensation (may not notice discomfort)> > • Anxiety> >> > Special Interests> >> > • Science fiction> > • Fantasy> > • Creative writing in all types of forms: he has created role-playing> > games on the computer, short graphic stories as well as written more> > traditional stories. Many times he writes "episodes" to already existing> > stories, TV shows or movies, even computer games, that he likes, and> > sometimes he creates his own stories.> > • Creative process. ----- studies directors, listens to interviews with> > actors, directors, producers, authors. He hasn’t watched a movie until> > he’s seen all the extra interviews available on the DVD, looks people> up> > on the internet, etc.> > • Extreme weather, clouds> > • Certain details of history may catch -----’ eye, usually to do with> > some sort of extremeness. For example, he may decide he wants to learn> about> > and memorize all the names and ranks of Hitler’s top 100 men when> studying> > WWII.> > • Germs and viruses> > • Criminal histories> > • Forensic science> >> > Challenges that may not be obvious> >> > Below are information on -----' challenges. Some of it is from direct> > observation by ourselves, past teachers, evaluators, and some of it is> > quoted material about Asperger Disorder from various sources.> >> > • Because he uses words somewhat differently, it is especially> important> > for ----- to learn to validate what he is trying to communicate and what> > other people are trying to communicate to him. He needs to learn two-way> > communication.> >> > • When discussing the "why" of problems, speak of why something is> > troublesome in non-judgmental terms rather than using words such as> > "should", "should not", "what would be better". This will help ----- feel> > validated and listened to and will help him be able to continue the> > conversation.> >> > • Be aware that saying "no", "stop" or other normal ways of> communicating> > to kids may not work with -----. He may misunderstand why you are saying> > these things. Instead say "excuse me", tap him on the shoulder and give a> > more concrete explanation. He needs not only simple statements but also> an> > explanation of why you are saying them.> >> > • It is hard for ----- to intercede in a conversation where he feels he> > has lost control and quickly say "there was something important I wanted> to> > say first". He doesn't know how to regain control of a conversation if it> > runs off in a different direction. It is easier to just go into automatic> > mode--responding to exact questions. This is something he is working on.> >> > • Try binary decision-making. One of the most powerful causes for> inertia> > is the feeling of the Asperger’s child that some task is so vast and> > complex that he can’t possibly accomplish it. To overcome this barrier,> > teach him how to factor any problem into two decisions. He makes one of> > those decisions and then factors the next part of the issue into two more> > decisions, and makes one of these decisions until the job is done.> >> > • Avoid asking vague questions such as, "Why did you do that?" Instead,> > say, "I did not like it when you slammed your book down when I said it> was> > time for gym. Next time put the book down gently and tell me you are> angry.> > Were you showing me that you did not want to go to gym, or that you did> not> > want to stop reading?" Avoid asking essay-type questions. Be as concrete> as> > possible in all your interactions with -----.> >> > • Although he has an occasional snafu, ----- does not have as much> > difficulty with idioms, double meanings, sarcasm or nicknames as many> kids> > with Asperger have.> >> > • Remember that facial expressions and other social cues may not work.> > Most individuals with autism have difficulty reading facial expressions> and> > interpreting "body language". One of the reasons why ----- needs to be> > directly asked for his assignments is because he does not notice all the> > non-verbal activity going on: teacher waiting at the front of the class,> > other kids moving arms, passing papers and shifting in their chairs> passing> > papers up, eyes following the papers, etc.> >> > • If ----- does not seem to be learning a task, break it down into> > smaller steps or present the task in several ways (e.g., visually,> verbally,> > physically). He is learning to make his own task lists, but typically> does> > not do that on his own yet. As stated earlier, he is not terribly> > visual-spatial, but he does okay with linear lists.> >> > • Avoid verbal overload. Be clear. Use shorter sentences if you> perceive> > that the student is not fully understanding you. Although he probably has> no> > hearing problem and may be paying attention, ----- may have difficulty> > understanding your main point and identifying important information. He> has> > difficulty following directions, both verbal and written.> >> > • Since ----- experiences various communication difficulties, do not> rely> > on him to relay important messages to his parents about school events,> > assignments, school rules, etc. Even sending home a note for his parents> may> > not work. ----- may not remember to deliver the note. Phone calls or> e-mails> > to parents work best until the skill can be developed. ----- has a> difficult> > time recalling events on demand from different parts of the day. He has> > never been able to answer questions like "what did you do at school> today."> > If a teacher does not tell me, for the most part, I don't know. He does> > spontaneously remember some things, and he has an excellent long-term> > memory. He remembers things forever once he remembers. Hopefully this> will> > improve as he gets older and keeps working on it, but he may always need> to> > write "everything" down.> >> > • Going along with the previous note, ----- needs to write down more> > detail for assignments and notes than is typical. If it isn't written> down,> > it is often as if it never happened. This includes strategies like having> > him verbally repeat things in his own words. This does not usually work,> > that is, he has forgotten it by the time he gets home. As said above,> > hopefully this will improve as he gets older and keeps working on it, but> he> > may always need to write "everything" down.> >> > • Assume nothing when assessing skills. For example, the individual> with> > autism may be a "math whiz" in Algebra, but not able to make simple> change> > at a cash register. Or, he may have an incredible memory about books he> has> > read, speeches he has heard or sports statistics, but still may not be> able> > to remember to bring a pencil to class. Uneven skills development is a> > hallmark of autism. ----- IQ test subscores range from the 1st percentile> to> > the 99th percentile.> >> > • -----' coordination disability causes him to sit back and let his> > teammates do all the physical work when working on things like science> > experiments. It is good to strike a balance, encouraging him to get some> > practice doing physical activities but not so much so that he is focusing> > more on simple physical movements than on learning the material.> >> > • ----- shows anxiety or overwhelm by becoming very quiet and> withdrawing> > from interaction. He gives the impression of being quiet and well-behaved> > when he is actually shutdown, possibly feeling very anxious. If he is not> > doing what he is supposed to be doing, talk to him about what is going> on.> > Asperger's children tend to be very proud. If they cannot follow along in> a> > class, they may attempt to resolve the issue by just refusing to do the> > work. It’s easier to say “No I won’t†then to say “I feel stupid> > not being able to do the work. Help me!". In ----- case, he usually> simply> > quietly doesn't do the work, and if asked says something casual to> indicate> > he just didn't feel like it. He has gotten very good at this. To my> > experience, he is usually having some difficulty he doesn't feel> comfortable> > admitting to rather than being unmotivated. It is very important to use> > language that does not connote that he missed something.> >> > • An intensification of unusual behavior may mean escalating anxiety.> For> > -----, such behavior might be talking to self (thinking out loud),> possibly> > with anger, whole body tremoring and stiffness, dropping things and being> > unable to pick them up. ----- has never "lost it" at school. If that were> to> > happen, it would probably be in the form of a verbal outburst. ----- is> very> > un-physical, and his personality is mild besides, so he has never been> > violent.> >> > • Processing speed: a lot of the accommodation for this is simply> > encouraging ----- to relax and take his time, possibly lessening the> > workload. He is getting pretty good at accommodating himself, as long as> he> > is not rushed by someone else or by circumstances.> >> > Summary> >> > ----- may be a challenge sometimes, to both you and his classmates. We> > think this is normal in the circumstances and expected. We hope the> > difficult times will not let you lose perspective. Nothing works all the> > time, and sometimes things go great and sometimes they don't. We hope you> > will feel free to share with us, as we like to be able to support -----'> > teachers. Please remember that we know our child well, and whatever you> say> > will not upset us or make us think poorly of you. Communication is key,> even> > at -----' age, and we feel we can only provide the best for ----- by> working> > together. Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have questions or> > think there is something we should know about.> >> > I will give you a little background on ourselves. Neither of us have ever> > been teachers, so please don't hesitate to state the obvious. Also, -----> > has not had an IEP before (he had a 504 Plan), so please have patience> with> > us as we learn the system.> >> > Thank you very much for all you doâ€"we are looking forward to a great> > year!> >> > Sincerely,> >> >> >>> >

[Guest guest]

My son, 25, chews on everything! all the antennas on cordless phone, his cell

phone, the plastic band on a ball cap! I found some cord in the craft section of

WalMart in three colors, bought some aquarium tubing that I cut into three inch

sections. I threaded them to the cord and made him " chew necklace. " OH, and I

left out chewing nails and cuticles to the bloody quick. He loved it...didn't

look girly at all and was long enough could put in mouth and very durable. I

hope that the plastic in tubing didn't have some terrible chemical, but at least

calmed him down.

He has sometimes cut his pants and blankets with pair of scissors when under

extreme stress. But the chew necklace was cheap and worked.

SUe in TN

> > > >

> > > > Could someone post one of their letters? Take your child's name out,

> > but

> > > I want to see one so if I can see if I'm on the right track. I'd

> > appreciate

> > > it and maybe other could be helped, too?

> > >

> > > Following is my son's. He is 14yo, incoming 9th grader with IEP for

> > > organization and social skills. The formatting is not going to come out

> > on

> > > the listserv, so please have patience with that.

> > >

> > > The letter is nothing great, but teachers seem to appreciate it. Before I

> > > started doing this several years ago, teachers would be caught totally

> > > off-guard by my son and it was not pretty.

> > >

> > > Before he had a 504 or an IEP, I would do it a little differently, since

> > > the teachers were getting no info at all. Instead of the " Challenges

> > which

> > > may not be obvious " section, I had several sections: Problems other

> > teachers

> > > have had due to my son's disability, Solutions other teachers have found,

> > > Things that are counterproductive, What we do at home to support school.

> > I

> > > also included more intro, including info from evaluations.

> > >

> > > Remember you are going to be talking a lot to your child's teachers and

> > > administrators all year, so you don't have to say everything and it

> > doesn't

> > > have to be perfect. You just don't want them to be caught off guard and

> > get

> > > off to a bad start.

> > >

> > > Hope this helps!

> > >

> > > ------------------------

> > >

> > > To the teachers of ----- -----

> > >

> > > Hello, we are -----’ parents. We are writing this because many of

> > > -----’ teachers have commented that he  " was a first†or

 " was a

> > > learning experience.†Many have found ----- to be a challenge. We hope

> > that

> > > the following information will be helpful.

> > >

> > > Intro

> > >

> > > ----- has been diagnosed with a type of autism called Asperger Disorder

> > and

> > > also Developmental Coordination Disorder. He has also been termed

> > >  " emotionally fragile†by ----- Hospital.

> > >

> > > Strengths

> > > • Academic

> > > o Keen interests and skills in certain subjects

> > > o High academic ability

> > > o Reading and vocabulary

> > > o Creative writing

> > > o Science

> > > • Learning style

> > > o Auditory

> > > o Group (as opposed to solitary)

> > > o Hands-on

> > > • Personality

> > > o Kind and affectionate, positive attitude

> > > o Imaginative and creative

> > > o Good sense of humor

> > > o Independent

> > >

> > > Weaknesses

> > >

> > > It is helpful to note that ----- is not typical of Asperger Disorder in

> > > some ways. His visual-spatial processing skills are very average, while

> > his

> > > auditory processing skills are very high. He often prefers working on a

> > team

> > > as opposed to learning on his own, although he may also get very absorbed

> > in

> > > individual projects if he finds them very interesting.

> > >

> > > It is important to understand -----’ weaknesses, because they come

out

> > > looking like attention problems when he in fact he is having

> > communication

> > > breakdowns.

> > >

> > > It is easy to mistake ----- in shutdown mode for someone simply being

> > > well-behaved and quiet.

> > >

> > > • Academic

> > > o Math

> > > o Written expression (grammar, punctuation, taking perspective)

> > > • Social cognitive

> > > o Using and understanding non-verbal behaviors

> > > o Developing appropriate peer relationships

> > > o Taking perspective

> > > o Pragmatic language

> > > • Executive functioning

> > > o Organization and planning

> > > o Working memory

> > > o Initiation

> > > • Processing speed

> > > • Coordination

> > > o Manual dexterity

> > > o Bilateral (top and bottom) coordination

> > > o To a lesser extent, left-right coordination

> > > • Hypo-sensitive

> > > o Doesn’t seek sensation (may not notice discomfort)

> > > • Anxiety

> > >

> > > Special Interests

> > >

> > > • Science fiction

> > > • Fantasy

> > > • Creative writing in all types of forms: he has created

role-playing

> > > games on the computer, short graphic stories as well as written more

> > > traditional stories. Many times he writes " episodes " to already existing

> > > stories, TV shows or movies, even computer games, that he likes, and

> > > sometimes he creates his own stories.

> > > • Creative process. ----- studies directors, listens to interviews

with

> > > actors, directors, producers, authors. He hasn’t watched a movie

until

> > > he’s seen all the extra interviews available on the DVD, looks

people

> > up

> > > on the internet, etc.

> > > • Extreme weather, clouds

> > > • Certain details of history may catch -----’ eye, usually to

do with

> > > some sort of extremeness. For example, he may decide he wants to learn

> > about

> > > and memorize all the names and ranks of Hitler’s top 100 men when

> > studying

> > > WWII.

> > > • Germs and viruses

> > > • Criminal histories

> > > • Forensic science

> > >

> > > Challenges that may not be obvious

> > >

> > > Below are information on -----' challenges. Some of it is from direct

> > > observation by ourselves, past teachers, evaluators, and some of it is

> > > quoted material about Asperger Disorder from various sources.

> > >

> > > • Because he uses words somewhat differently, it is especially

> > important

> > > for ----- to learn to validate what he is trying to communicate and what

> > > other people are trying to communicate to him. He needs to learn two-way

> > > communication.

> > >

> > > • When discussing the " why " of problems, speak of why something is

> > > troublesome in non-judgmental terms rather than using words such as

> > > " should " , " should not " , " what would be better " . This will help ----- feel

> > > validated and listened to and will help him be able to continue the

> > > conversation.

> > >

> > > • Be aware that saying " no " , " stop " or other normal ways of

> > communicating

> > > to kids may not work with -----. He may misunderstand why you are saying

> > > these things. Instead say " excuse me " , tap him on the shoulder and give a

> > > more concrete explanation. He needs not only simple statements but also

> > an

> > > explanation of why you are saying them.

> > >

> > > • It is hard for ----- to intercede in a conversation where he feels

he

> > > has lost control and quickly say " there was something important I wanted

> > to

> > > say first " . He doesn't know how to regain control of a conversation if it

> > > runs off in a different direction. It is easier to just go into automatic

> > > mode--responding to exact questions. This is something he is working on.

> > >

> > > • Try binary decision-making. One of the most powerful causes for

> > inertia

> > > is the feeling of the Asperger’s child that some task is so vast

and

> > > complex that he can’t possibly accomplish it. To overcome this

barrier,

> > > teach him how to factor any problem into two decisions. He makes one of

> > > those decisions and then factors the next part of the issue into two more

> > > decisions, and makes one of these decisions until the job is done.

> > >

> > > • Avoid asking vague questions such as, " Why did you do that? "

Instead,

> > > say, " I did not like it when you slammed your book down when I said it

> > was

> > > time for gym. Next time put the book down gently and tell me you are

> > angry.

> > > Were you showing me that you did not want to go to gym, or that you did

> > not

> > > want to stop reading? " Avoid asking essay-type questions. Be as concrete

> > as

> > > possible in all your interactions with -----.

> > >

> > > • Although he has an occasional snafu, ----- does not have as much

> > > difficulty with idioms, double meanings, sarcasm or nicknames as many

> > kids

> > > with Asperger have.

> > >

> > > • Remember that facial expressions and other social cues may not

work.

> > > Most individuals with autism have difficulty reading facial expressions

> > and

> > > interpreting " body language " . One of the reasons why ----- needs to be

> > > directly asked for his assignments is because he does not notice all the

> > > non-verbal activity going on: teacher waiting at the front of the class,

> > > other kids moving arms, passing papers and shifting in their chairs

> > passing

> > > papers up, eyes following the papers, etc.

> > >

> > > • If ----- does not seem to be learning a task, break it down into

> > > smaller steps or present the task in several ways (e.g., visually,

> > verbally,

> > > physically). He is learning to make his own task lists, but typically

> > does

> > > not do that on his own yet. As stated earlier, he is not terribly

> > > visual-spatial, but he does okay with linear lists.

> > >

> > > • Avoid verbal overload. Be clear. Use shorter sentences if you

> > perceive

> > > that the student is not fully understanding you. Although he probably has

> > no

> > > hearing problem and may be paying attention, ----- may have difficulty

> > > understanding your main point and identifying important information. He

> > has

> > > difficulty following directions, both verbal and written.

> > >

> > > • Since ----- experiences various communication difficulties, do not

> > rely

> > > on him to relay important messages to his parents about school events,

> > > assignments, school rules, etc. Even sending home a note for his parents

> > may

> > > not work. ----- may not remember to deliver the note. Phone calls or

> > e-mails

> > > to parents work best until the skill can be developed. ----- has a

> > difficult

> > > time recalling events on demand from different parts of the day. He has

> > > never been able to answer questions like " what did you do at school

> > today. "

> > > If a teacher does not tell me, for the most part, I don't know. He does

> > > spontaneously remember some things, and he has an excellent long-term

> > > memory. He remembers things forever once he remembers. Hopefully this

> > will

> > > improve as he gets older and keeps working on it, but he may always need

> > to

> > > write " everything " down.

> > >

> > > • Going along with the previous note, ----- needs to write down more

> > > detail for assignments and notes than is typical. If it isn't written

> > down,

> > > it is often as if it never happened. This includes strategies like having

> > > him verbally repeat things in his own words. This does not usually work,

> > > that is, he has forgotten it by the time he gets home. As said above,

> > > hopefully this will improve as he gets older and keeps working on it, but

> > he

> > > may always need to write " everything " down.

> > >

> > > • Assume nothing when assessing skills. For example, the individual

> > with

> > > autism may be a " math whiz " in Algebra, but not able to make simple

> > change

> > > at a cash register. Or, he may have an incredible memory about books he

> > has

> > > read, speeches he has heard or sports statistics, but still may not be

> > able

> > > to remember to bring a pencil to class. Uneven skills development is a

> > > hallmark of autism. ----- IQ test subscores range from the 1st percentile

> > to

> > > the 99th percentile.

> > >

> > > • -----' coordination disability causes him to sit back and let his

> > > teammates do all the physical work when working on things like science

> > > experiments. It is good to strike a balance, encouraging him to get some

> > > practice doing physical activities but not so much so that he is focusing

> > > more on simple physical movements than on learning the material.

> > >

> > > • ----- shows anxiety or overwhelm by becoming very quiet and

> > withdrawing

> > > from interaction. He gives the impression of being quiet and well-behaved

> > > when he is actually shutdown, possibly feeling very anxious. If he is not

> > > doing what he is supposed to be doing, talk to him about what is going

> > on.

> > > Asperger's children tend to be very proud. If they cannot follow along in

> > a

> > > class, they may attempt to resolve the issue by just refusing to do the

> > > work. It’s easier to say  " No I won’t†then to say

 " I feel stupid

> > > not being able to do the work. Help me! " . In ----- case, he usually

> > simply

> > > quietly doesn't do the work, and if asked says something casual to

> > indicate

> > > he just didn't feel like it. He has gotten very good at this. To my

> > > experience, he is usually having some difficulty he doesn't feel

> > comfortable

> > > admitting to rather than being unmotivated. It is very important to use

> > > language that does not connote that he missed something.

> > >

> > > • An intensification of unusual behavior may mean escalating

anxiety.

> > For

> > > -----, such behavior might be talking to self (thinking out loud),

> > possibly

> > > with anger, whole body tremoring and stiffness, dropping things and being

> > > unable to pick them up. ----- has never " lost it " at school. If that were

> > to

> > > happen, it would probably be in the form of a verbal outburst. ----- is

> > very

> > > un-physical, and his personality is mild besides, so he has never been

> > > violent.

> > >

> > > • Processing speed: a lot of the accommodation for this is simply

> > > encouraging ----- to relax and take his time, possibly lessening the

> > > workload. He is getting pretty good at accommodating himself, as long as

> > he

> > > is not rushed by someone else or by circumstances.

> > >

> > > Summary

> > >

> > > ----- may be a challenge sometimes, to both you and his classmates. We

> > > think this is normal in the circumstances and expected. We hope the

> > > difficult times will not let you lose perspective. Nothing works all the

> > > time, and sometimes things go great and sometimes they don't. We hope you

> > > will feel free to share with us, as we like to be able to support -----'

> > > teachers. Please remember that we know our child well, and whatever you

> > say

> > > will not upset us or make us think poorly of you. Communication is key,

> > even

> > > at -----' age, and we feel we can only provide the best for ----- by

> > working

> > > together. Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have questions or

> > > think there is something we should know about.

> > >

> > > I will give you a little background on ourselves. Neither of us have ever

> > > been teachers, so please don't hesitate to state the obvious. Also, -----

> > > has not had an IEP before (he had a 504 Plan), so please have patience

> > with

> > > us as we learn the system.

> > >

> > > Thank you very much for all you do†" we are looking forward to a great

> > > year!

> > >

> > > Sincerely,

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Oh, scissor and pants...lordy.   I couldn't figure out why, when I would go to do laundry and fold his sweats the pockets would be cut away.  Then I found the scissors on his desk.  He shrugged and hadn't a clue why he did it.  When he rinsing out the milk cartons for recycling...if there is a knife nearby...it ends up in shredds before it hits the recycling.  I know he would never hurt anyone or any living thing...but lord help the inanimate object that happens to be there.  I can go to the kitchen sink and if there are any aluminum cans there..they are usually full of holes or cut into various shapes .

On Wed, Aug 19, 2009 at 10:26 AM, carolynsuelowerychattanooga <sue@...> wrote:

 

My son, 25, chews on everything! all the antennas on cordless phone, his cell phone, the plastic band on a ball cap! I found some cord in the craft section of WalMart in three colors, bought some aquarium tubing that I cut into three inch sections. I threaded them to the cord and made him " chew necklace. " OH, and I left out chewing nails and cuticles to the bloody quick. He loved it...didn't look girly at all and was long enough could put in mouth and very durable. I hope that the plastic in tubing didn't have some terrible chemical, but at least calmed him down.

He has sometimes cut his pants and blankets with pair of scissors when under extreme stress. But the chew necklace was cheap and worked.

SUe in TN> > > >> > > > Could someone post one of their letters? Take your child's name out,

> > but> > > I want to see one so if I can see if I'm on the right track. I'd> > appreciate> > > it and maybe other could be helped, too?> > >> > > Following is my son's. He is 14yo, incoming 9th grader with IEP for

> > > organization and social skills. The formatting is not going to come out> > on> > > the listserv, so please have patience with that.> > >> > > The letter is nothing great, but teachers seem to appreciate it. Before I

> > > started doing this several years ago, teachers would be caught totally> > > off-guard by my son and it was not pretty.> > >> > > Before he had a 504 or an IEP, I would do it a little differently, since

> > > the teachers were getting no info at all. Instead of the " Challenges> > which> > > may not be obvious " section, I had several sections: Problems other> > teachers

> > > have had due to my son's disability, Solutions other teachers have found,> > > Things that are counterproductive, What we do at home to support school.> > I> > > also included more intro, including info from evaluations.

> > >> > > Remember you are going to be talking a lot to your child's teachers and> > > administrators all year, so you don't have to say everything and it> > doesn't

> > > have to be perfect. You just don't want them to be caught off guard and> > get> > > off to a bad start.> > >> > > Hope this helps!> > >> > > ------------------------

> > >> > > To the teachers of ----- -----> > >> > > Hello, we are -----’ parents. We are writing this because many of> > > -----’ teachers have commented that he  " was a first†or  " was a

> > > learning experience.†Many have found ----- to be a challenge. We hope > > that> > > the following information will be helpful.> > >> > > Intro> > >> > > ----- has been diagnosed with a type of autism called Asperger Disorder

> > and> > > also Developmental Coordination Disorder. He has also been termed> > >  " emotionally fragile†by ----- Hospital.> > >> > > Strengths

> > > • Academic > > > o Keen interests and skills in certain subjects> > > o High academic ability> > > o Reading and vocabulary> > > o Creative writing> > > o Science

> > > • Learning style > > > o Auditory> > > o Group (as opposed to solitary)> > > o Hands-on> > > • Personality > > > o Kind and affectionate, positive attitude> > > o Imaginative and creative> > > o Good sense of humor> > > o Independent> > >> > > Weaknesses

> > >> > > It is helpful to note that ----- is not typical of Asperger Disorder in> > > some ways. His visual-spatial processing skills are very average, while> > his> > > auditory processing skills are very high. He often prefers working on a

> > team> > > as opposed to learning on his own, although he may also get very absorbed> > in> > > individual projects if he finds them very interesting.> > >

> > > It is important to understand -----’ weaknesses, because they come out > > > looking like attention problems when he in fact he is having> > communication> > > breakdowns.> > >> > > It is easy to mistake ----- in shutdown mode for someone simply being

> > > well-behaved and quiet.> > >> > > • Academic > > > o Math> > > o Written expression (grammar, punctuation, taking perspective)> > > • Social cognitive > > > o Using and understanding non-verbal behaviors> > > o Developing appropriate peer relationships> > > o Taking perspective> > > o Pragmatic language

> > > • Executive functioning > > > o Organization and planning> > > o Working memory> > > o Initiation> > > • Processing speed> > > • Coordination > > > o Manual dexterity> > > o Bilateral (top and bottom) coordination> > > o To a lesser extent, left-right coordination> > > • Hypo-sensitive

> > > o Doesn’t seek sensation (may not notice discomfort)> > > • Anxiety> > >> > > Special Interests> > >> > > • Science fiction

> > > • Fantasy> > > • Creative writing in all types of forms: he has created role-playing > > > games on the computer, short graphic stories as well as written more> > > traditional stories. Many times he writes " episodes " to already existing> > > stories, TV shows or movies, even computer games, that he likes, and

> > > sometimes he creates his own stories.> > > • Creative process. ----- studies directors, listens to interviews with> > > actors, directors, producers, authors. He hasn’t watched a movie until

> > > he’s seen all the extra interviews available on the DVD, looks people > > up> > > on the internet, etc.> > > • Extreme weather, clouds> > > • Certain details of history may catch -----’ eye, usually to do with > > > some sort of extremeness. For example, he may decide he wants to learn> > about> > > and memorize all the names and ranks of Hitler’s top 100 men when

> > studying> > > WWII.> > > • Germs and viruses> > > • Criminal histories> > > • Forensic science > > >> > > Challenges that may not be obvious> > >> > > Below are information on -----' challenges. Some of it is from direct> > > observation by ourselves, past teachers, evaluators, and some of it is

> > > quoted material about Asperger Disorder from various sources.> > >> > > • Because he uses words somewhat differently, it is especially > > important> > > for ----- to learn to validate what he is trying to communicate and what> > > other people are trying to communicate to him. He needs to learn two-way

> > > communication.> > >> > > • When discussing the " why " of problems, speak of why something is > > > troublesome in non-judgmental terms rather than using words such as> > > " should " , " should not " , " what would be better " . This will help ----- feel

> > > validated and listened to and will help him be able to continue the> > > conversation.> > >> > > • Be aware that saying " no " , " stop " or other normal ways of > > communicating> > > to kids may not work with -----. He may misunderstand why you are saying> > > these things. Instead say " excuse me " , tap him on the shoulder and give a

> > > more concrete explanation. He needs not only simple statements but also> > an> > > explanation of why you are saying them.> > >> > > • It is hard for ----- to intercede in a conversation where he feels he > > > has lost control and quickly say " there was something important I wanted> > to> > > say first " . He doesn't know how to regain control of a conversation if it

> > > runs off in a different direction. It is easier to just go into automatic> > > mode--responding to exact questions. This is something he is working on.> > >> > > • Try binary decision-making. One of the most powerful causes for

> > inertia> > > is the feeling of the Asperger’s child that some task is so vast and> > > complex that he can’t possibly accomplish it. To overcome this barrier, > > > teach him how to factor any problem into two decisions. He makes one of> > > those decisions and then factors the next part of the issue into two more> > > decisions, and makes one of these decisions until the job is done.

> > >> > > • Avoid asking vague questions such as, " Why did you do that? " Instead, > > > say, " I did not like it when you slammed your book down when I said it> > was> > > time for gym. Next time put the book down gently and tell me you are> > angry.

> > > Were you showing me that you did not want to go to gym, or that you did> > not> > > want to stop reading? " Avoid asking essay-type questions. Be as concrete> > as> > > possible in all your interactions with -----.

> > >> > > • Although he has an occasional snafu, ----- does not have as much > > > difficulty with idioms, double meanings, sarcasm or nicknames as many> > kids> > > with Asperger have.> > >> > > • Remember that facial expressions and other social cues may not work. > > > Most individuals with autism have difficulty reading facial expressions> > and> > > interpreting " body language " . One of the reasons why ----- needs to be

> > > directly asked for his assignments is because he does not notice all the> > > non-verbal activity going on: teacher waiting at the front of the class,> > > other kids moving arms, passing papers and shifting in their chairs

> > passing> > > papers up, eyes following the papers, etc.> > >> > > • If ----- does not seem to be learning a task, break it down into > > > smaller steps or present the task in several ways (e.g., visually,> > verbally,> > > physically). He is learning to make his own task lists, but typically> > does

> > > not do that on his own yet. As stated earlier, he is not terribly> > > visual-spatial, but he does okay with linear lists.> > >> > > • Avoid verbal overload. Be clear. Use shorter sentences if you > > perceive> > > that the student is not fully understanding you. Although he probably has> > no> > > hearing problem and may be paying attention, ----- may have difficulty

> > > understanding your main point and identifying important information. He> > has> > > difficulty following directions, both verbal and written.> > >> > > • Since ----- experiences various communication difficulties, do not > > rely> > > on him to relay important messages to his parents about school events,> > > assignments, school rules, etc. Even sending home a note for his parents> > may

> > > not work. ----- may not remember to deliver the note. Phone calls or> > e-mails> > > to parents work best until the skill can be developed. ----- has a> > difficult> > > time recalling events on demand from different parts of the day. He has

> > > never been able to answer questions like " what did you do at school> > today. " > > > If a teacher does not tell me, for the most part, I don't know. He does> > > spontaneously remember some things, and he has an excellent long-term

> > > memory. He remembers things forever once he remembers. Hopefully this> > will> > > improve as he gets older and keeps working on it, but he may always need> > to> > > write " everything " down.

> > >> > > • Going along with the previous note, ----- needs to write down more > > > detail for assignments and notes than is typical. If it isn't written> > down,> > > it is often as if it never happened. This includes strategies like having

> > > him verbally repeat things in his own words. This does not usually work,> > > that is, he has forgotten it by the time he gets home. As said above,> > > hopefully this will improve as he gets older and keeps working on it, but

> > he> > > may always need to write " everything " down.> > >> > > • Assume nothing when assessing skills. For example, the individual > > with> > > autism may be a " math whiz " in Algebra, but not able to make simple> > change> > > at a cash register. Or, he may have an incredible memory about books he

> > has> > > read, speeches he has heard or sports statistics, but still may not be> > able> > > to remember to bring a pencil to class. Uneven skills development is a> > > hallmark of autism. ----- IQ test subscores range from the 1st percentile

> > to> > > the 99th percentile.> > >> > > • -----' coordination disability causes him to sit back and let his > > > teammates do all the physical work when working on things like science> > > experiments. It is good to strike a balance, encouraging him to get some> > > practice doing physical activities but not so much so that he is focusing

> > > more on simple physical movements than on learning the material.> > >> > > • ----- shows anxiety or overwhelm by becoming very quiet and > > withdrawing> > > from interaction. He gives the impression of being quiet and well-behaved> > > when he is actually shutdown, possibly feeling very anxious. If he is not

> > > doing what he is supposed to be doing, talk to him about what is going> > on.> > > Asperger's children tend to be very proud. If they cannot follow along in> > a> > > class, they may attempt to resolve the issue by just refusing to do the

> > > work. It’s easier to say  " No I won’t†then to say  " I feel stupid > > > not being able to do the work. Help me! " . In ----- case, he usually> > simply> > > quietly doesn't do the work, and if asked says something casual to

> > indicate> > > he just didn't feel like it. He has gotten very good at this. To my> > > experience, he is usually having some difficulty he doesn't feel> > comfortable

> > > admitting to rather than being unmotivated. It is very important to use> > > language that does not connote that he missed something.> > >> > > • An intensification of unusual behavior may mean escalating anxiety. > > For> > > -----, such behavior might be talking to self (thinking out loud),> > possibly> > > with anger, whole body tremoring and stiffness, dropping things and being

> > > unable to pick them up. ----- has never " lost it " at school. If that were> > to> > > happen, it would probably be in the form of a verbal outburst. ----- is> > very

> > > un-physical, and his personality is mild besides, so he has never been> > > violent.> > >> > > • Processing speed: a lot of the accommodation for this is simply > > > encouraging ----- to relax and take his time, possibly lessening the> > > workload. He is getting pretty good at accommodating himself, as long as> > he> > > is not rushed by someone else or by circumstances.

> > >> > > Summary> > >> > > ----- may be a challenge sometimes, to both you and his classmates. We> > > think this is normal in the circumstances and expected. We hope the

> > > difficult times will not let you lose perspective. Nothing works all the> > > time, and sometimes things go great and sometimes they don't. We hope you> > > will feel free to share with us, as we like to be able to support -----'

> > > teachers. Please remember that we know our child well, and whatever you> > say> > > will not upset us or make us think poorly of you. Communication is key,> > even> > > at -----' age, and we feel we can only provide the best for ----- by

> > working> > > together. Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have questions or> > > think there is something we should know about.> > >> > > I will give you a little background on ourselves. Neither of us have ever

> > > been teachers, so please don't hesitate to state the obvious. Also, -----> > > has not had an IEP before (he had a 504 Plan), so please have patience> > with> > > us as we learn the system.

> > >> > > Thank you very much for all you do†" we are looking forward to a great> > > year!> > >> > > Sincerely,> > >> > >

> > >> >> > > >>

[Guest guest]

I agree isn't this a wonderful place to ask questions, voice concerns etc.  We all understand.

On Wed, Aug 19, 2009 at 11:35 AM, <tfitzge134@...> wrote:

That is so smart of you to made those necklaces. I wonder if there is a way I can work out the pinching problem into something crafty...At least I know I am not alone in dealing with strange behaviors...

Thanks to all of you guys for all your inputs and support...it really helps me... Re: ( ) Re: hurting herself, does somebody has that  problem?Oh, scissor and pants...lordy.   I couldn't figure out why, when I would go

to do laundry and fold his sweats the pockets would be cut away.  Then Ifound the scissors on his desk.  He shrugged and hadn't a clue why he didit.  When he rinsing out the milk cartons for recycling...if there is a

knife nearby...it ends up in shredds before it hits the recycling.  I knowhe would never hurt anyone or any living thing...but lord help the inanimateobject that happens to be there.  I can go to the kitchen sink and if there

are any aluminum cans there..they are usually full of holes or cut intovarious shapes [?].On Wed, Aug 19, 2009 at 10:26 AM, carolynsuelowerychattanooga <sue@...> wrote:

>>> My son, 25, chews on everything! all the antennas on cordless phone, his> cell phone, the plastic band on a ball cap! I found some cord in the craft> section of WalMart in three colors, bought some aquarium tubing that I cut

> into three inch sections. I threaded them to the cord and made him " chew> necklace. " OH, and I left out chewing nails and cuticles to the bloody> quick. He loved it...didn't look girly at all and was long enough could put

> in mouth and very durable. I hope that the plastic in tubing didn't have> some terrible chemical, but at least calmed him down.>> He has sometimes cut his pants and blankets with pair of scissors when

> under extreme stress. But the chew necklace was cheap and worked.>> SUe in TN> > > > >

> > > > > Could someone post one of their letters? Take your child's name> out,> > > but> > > > I want to see one so if I can see if I'm on the right track. I'd

> > > appreciate> > > > it and maybe other could be helped, too?> > > >> > > > Following is my son's. He is 14yo, incoming 9th grader with IEP for> > > > organization and social skills. The formatting is not going to come

> out> > > on> > > > the listserv, so please have patience with that.> > > >> > > > The letter is nothing great, but teachers seem to appreciate it.> Before I

> > > > started doing this several years ago, teachers would be caught> totally> > > > off-guard by my son and it was not pretty.> > > >> > > > Before he had a 504 or an IEP, I would do it a little differently,

> since> > > > the teachers were getting no info at all. Instead of the " Challenges> > > which> > > > may not be obvious " section, I had several sections: Problems other

> > > teachers> > > > have had due to my son's disability, Solutions other teachers have> found,> > > > Things that are counterproductive, What we do at home to support

> school.> > > I> > > > also included more intro, including info from evaluations.> > > >> > > > Remember you are going to be talking a lot to your child's teachers

> and> > > > administrators all year, so you don't have to say everything and it> > > doesn't> > > > have to be perfect. You just don't want them to be caught off guard

> and> > > get> > > > off to a bad start.> > > >> > > > Hope this helps!> > > >> > > > ------------------------> > > >

> > > > To the teachers of ----- -----> > > >> > > > Hello, we are -----’ parents. We are writing this because many> of> > > > -----’ teachers have commented that he  " was a firstâ€

> or  " was a> > > > learning experience.†Many have found ----- to be a challenge. We> hope> > > that> > > > the following information will be helpful.

> > > >> > > > Intro> > > >> > > > ----- has been diagnosed with a type of autism called Asperger> Disorder> > > and> > > > also Developmental Coordination Disorder. He has also been termed

> > > >  " emotionally fragile†by ----- Hospital.> > > >> > > > Strengths> > > > • Academic> > > > o Keen interests and skills in certain subjects

> > > > o High academic ability> > > > o Reading and vocabulary> > > > o Creative writing> > > > o Science> > > > • Learning style> > > > o Auditory

> > > > o Group (as opposed to solitary)> > > > o Hands-on> > > > • Personality> > > > o Kind and affectionate, positive attitude> > > > o Imaginative and creative

> > > > o Good sense of humor> > > > o Independent> > > >> > > > Weaknesses> > > >> > > > It is helpful to note that ----- is not typical of Asperger Disorder

> in> > > > some ways. His visual-spatial processing skills are very average,> while> > > his> > > > auditory processing skills are very high. He often prefers working on

> a> > > team> > > > as opposed to learning on his own, although he may also get very> absorbed> > > in> > > > individual projects if he finds them very interesting.

> > > >> > > > It is important to understand -----’ weaknesses, because they> come out> > > > looking like attention problems when he in fact he is having> > > communication

> > > > breakdowns.> > > >> > > > It is easy to mistake ----- in shutdown mode for someone simply being> > > > well-behaved and quiet.> > > >

> > > > • Academic> > > > o Math> > > > o Written expression (grammar, punctuation, taking perspective)> > > > • Social cognitive> > > > o Using and understanding non-verbal behaviors

> > > > o Developing appropriate peer relationships> > > > o Taking perspective> > > > o Pragmatic language> > > > • Executive functioning> > > > o Organization and planning

> > > > o Working memory> > > > o Initiation> > > > • Processing speed> > > > • Coordination> > > > o Manual dexterity> > > > o Bilateral (top and bottom) coordination

> > > > o To a lesser extent, left-right coordination> > > > • Hypo-sensitive> > > > o Doesn’t seek sensation (may not notice discomfort)> > > > • Anxiety

> > > >> > > > Special Interests> > > >> > > > • Science fiction> > > > • Fantasy> > > > • Creative writing in all types of forms: he has created

> role-playing> > > > games on the computer, short graphic stories as well as written more> > > > traditional stories. Many times he writes " episodes " to already> existing

> > > > stories, TV shows or movies, even computer games, that he likes, and> > > > sometimes he creates his own stories.> > > > • Creative process. ----- studies directors, listens to

> interviews with> > > > actors, directors, producers, authors. He hasn’t watched a> movie until> > > > he’s seen all the extra interviews available on the DVD, looks

> people> > > up> > > > on the internet, etc.> > > > • Extreme weather, clouds> > > > • Certain details of history may catch -----’ eye,

> usually to do with> > > > some sort of extremeness. For example, he may decide he wants to> learn> > > about> > > > and memorize all the names and ranks of Hitler’s top 100 men

> when> > > studying> > > > WWII.> > > > • Germs and viruses> > > > • Criminal histories> > > > • Forensic science> > > >

> > > > Challenges that may not be obvious> > > >> > > > Below are information on -----' challenges. Some of it is from direct> > > > observation by ourselves, past teachers, evaluators, and some of it

> is> > > > quoted material about Asperger Disorder from various sources.> > > >> > > > • Because he uses words somewhat differently, it is especially> > > important

> > > > for ----- to learn to validate what he is trying to communicate and> what> > > > other people are trying to communicate to him. He needs to learn> two-way> > > > communication.

> > > >> > > > • When discussing the " why " of problems, speak of why something> is> > > > troublesome in non-judgmental terms rather than using words such as

> > > > " should " , " should not " , " what would be better " . This will help -----> feel> > > > validated and listened to and will help him be able to continue the

> > > > conversation.> > > >> > > > • Be aware that saying " no " , " stop " or other normal ways of> > > communicating> > > > to kids may not work with -----. He may misunderstand why you are

> saying> > > > these things. Instead say " excuse me " , tap him on the shoulder and> give a> > > > more concrete explanation. He needs not only simple statements but> also

> > > an> > > > explanation of why you are saying them.> > > >> > > > • It is hard for ----- to intercede in a conversation where he> feels he> > > > has lost control and quickly say " there was something important I

> wanted> > > to> > > > say first " . He doesn't know how to regain control of a conversation> if it> > > > runs off in a different direction. It is easier to just go into

> automatic> > > > mode--responding to exact questions. This is something he is working> on.> > > >> > > > • Try binary decision-making. One of the most powerful causes

> for> > > inertia> > > > is the feeling of the Asperger’s child that some task is so> vast and> > > > complex that he can’t possibly accomplish it. To overcome this

> barrier,> > > > teach him how to factor any problem into two decisions. He makes one> of> > > > those decisions and then factors the next part of the issue into two> more

> > > > decisions, and makes one of these decisions until the job is done.> > > >> > > > • Avoid asking vague questions such as, " Why did you do that? " > Instead,

> > > > say, " I did not like it when you slammed your book down when I said> it> > > was> > > > time for gym. Next time put the book down gently and tell me you are

> > > angry.> > > > Were you showing me that you did not want to go to gym, or that you> did> > > not> > > > want to stop reading? " Avoid asking essay-type questions. Be as

> concrete> > > as> > > > possible in all your interactions with -----.> > > >> > > > • Although he has an occasional snafu, ----- does not have as

> much> > > > difficulty with idioms, double meanings, sarcasm or nicknames as many> > > kids> > > > with Asperger have.> > > >> > > > • Remember that facial expressions and other social cues may

> not work.> > > > Most individuals with autism have difficulty reading facial> expressions> > > and> > > > interpreting " body language " . One of the reasons why ----- needs to

> be> > > > directly asked for his assignments is because he does not notice all> the> > > > non-verbal activity going on: teacher waiting at the front of the> class,> > > > other kids moving arms, passing papers and shifting in their chairs

> > > passing> > > > papers up, eyes following the papers, etc.> > > >> > > > • If ----- does not seem to be learning a task, break it down> into> > > > smaller steps or present the task in several ways (e.g., visually,

> > > verbally,> > > > physically). He is learning to make his own task lists, but typically> > > does> > > > not do that on his own yet. As stated earlier, he is not terribly

> > > > visual-spatial, but he does okay with linear lists.> > > >> > > > • Avoid verbal overload. Be clear. Use shorter sentences if you>> > > perceive

> > > > that the student is not fully understanding you. Although he probably> has> > > no> > > > hearing problem and may be paying attention, ----- may have> difficulty

> > > > understanding your main point and identifying important information.> He> > > has> > > > difficulty following directions, both verbal and written.> > > >

> > > > • Since ----- experiences various communication difficulties,> do not> > > rely> > > > on him to relay important messages to his parents about school> events,

> > > > assignments, school rules, etc. Even sending home a note for his> parents> > > may> > > > not work. ----- may not remember to deliver the note. Phone calls or> > > e-mails

> > > > to parents work best until the skill can be developed. ----- has a> > > difficult> > > > time recalling events on demand from different parts of the day. He> has

> > > > never been able to answer questions like " what did you do at school> > > today. " > > > > If a teacher does not tell me, for the most part, I don't know. He

> does> > > > spontaneously remember some things, and he has an excellent long-term> > > > memory. He remembers things forever once he remembers. Hopefully this> > > will

> > > > improve as he gets older and keeps working on it, but he may always> need> > > to> > > > write " everything " down.> > > >> > > > • Going along with the previous note, ----- needs to write down

> more> > > > detail for assignments and notes than is typical. If it isn't written> > > down,> > > > it is often as if it never happened. This includes strategies like

> having> > > > him verbally repeat things in his own words. This does not usually> work,> > > > that is, he has forgotten it by the time he gets home. As said above,> > > > hopefully this will improve as he gets older and keeps working on it,

> but> > > he> > > > may always need to write " everything " down.> > > >> > > > • Assume nothing when assessing skills. For example, the> individual

> > > with> > > > autism may be a " math whiz " in Algebra, but not able to make simple> > > change> > > > at a cash register. Or, he may have an incredible memory about books

> he> > > has> > > > read, speeches he has heard or sports statistics, but still may not> be> > > able> > > > to remember to bring a pencil to class. Uneven skills development is

> a> > > > hallmark of autism. ----- IQ test subscores range from the 1st> percentile> > > to> > > > the 99th percentile.> > > >> > > > • -----' coordination disability causes him to sit back and let

> his> > > > teammates do all the physical work when working on things like> science> > > > experiments. It is good to strike a balance, encouraging him to get> some> > > > practice doing physical activities but not so much so that he is

> focusing> > > > more on simple physical movements than on learning the material.> > > >> > > > • ----- shows anxiety or overwhelm by becoming very quiet and> > > withdrawing

> > > > from interaction. He gives the impression of being quiet and> well-behaved> > > > when he is actually shutdown, possibly feeling very anxious. If he is> not> > > > doing what he is supposed to be doing, talk to him about what is

> going> > > on.> > > > Asperger's children tend to be very proud. If they cannot follow> along in> > > a> > > > class, they may attempt to resolve the issue by just refusing to do

> the> > > > work. It’s easier to say  " No I won’t†then to> say  " I feel stupid> > > > not being able to do the work. Help me! " . In ----- case, he usually

> > > simply> > > > quietly doesn't do the work, and if asked says something casual to> > > indicate> > > > he just didn't feel like it. He has gotten very good at this. To my

> > > > experience, he is usually having some difficulty he doesn't feel> > > comfortable> > > > admitting to rather than being unmotivated. It is very important to> use

> > > > language that does not connote that he missed something.> > > >> > > > • An intensification of unusual behavior may mean escalating> anxiety.> > > For

> > > > -----, such behavior might be talking to self (thinking out loud),> > > possibly> > > > with anger, whole body tremoring and stiffness, dropping things and> being

> > > > unable to pick them up. ----- has never " lost it " at school. If that> were> > > to> > > > happen, it would probably be in the form of a verbal outburst. -----

> is> > > very> > > > un-physical, and his personality is mild besides, so he has never> been> > > > violent.> > > >> > > > • Processing speed: a lot of the accommodation for this is

> simply> > > > encouraging ----- to relax and take his time, possibly lessening the> > > > workload. He is getting pretty good at accommodating himself, as long> as> > > he

> > > > is not rushed by someone else or by circumstances.> > > >> > > > Summary> > > >> > > > ----- may be a challenge sometimes, to both you and his classmates.

> We> > > > think this is normal in the circumstances and expected. We hope the> > > > difficult times will not let you lose perspective. Nothing works all> the> > > > time, and sometimes things go great and sometimes they don't. We hope

> you> > > > will feel free to share with us, as we like to be able to support> -----'> > > > teachers. Please remember that we know our child well, and whatever> you

> > > say> > > > will not upset us or make us think poorly of you. Communication is> key,> > > even> > > > at -----' age, and we feel we can only provide the best for ----- by

> > > working> > > > together. Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have questions> or> > > > think there is something we should know about.> > > >

> > > > I will give you a little background on ourselves. Neither of us have> ever> > > > been teachers, so please don't hesitate to state the obvious. Also,> -----> > > > has not had an IEP before (he had a 504 Plan), so please have

> patience> > > with> > > > us as we learn the system.> > > >> > > > Thank you very much for all you do†" we are looking forward to a> great

> > > > year!> > > >> > > > Sincerely,> > > >> > > >> > > >> > >> > >> > >> >

>>  >

[Guest guest]

She may be picking at her skin due to having some sort of OCD. You

might want to talk to a doc about that re: meds or counseling or both.

 Roxanna

" The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

nothing. " E. Burke

Re: ( ) Re: hurting herself, does somebody has

that problem?

Hi,

She has several scars on her legs and arms;  I have been telling her to

stop that because people might think I did that. You are right, I think

she does not realized she did it until she sees blood then she ask me

for a bandage. I am afraid her skin can get infected of pinching

herself...

Re: ( ) Re: Everybody got their intro letters

in?

>

> This is fantastic. I appreciate this so much. I think you've put so

much

> into your letter and it shows great detail and thought. Thank you.

>

> On Tue, Aug 18, 2009 at 11:03 AM, r_woman2 <me2ruth@...> wrote:

>

> >

> >

> >

> > >

> > > Could someone post one of their letters? Take your child's name

out,

> but

> > I want to see one so if I can see if I'm on the right track. I'd

> appreciate

> > it and maybe other could be helped, too?

> >

> > Following is my son's. He is 14yo, incoming 9th grader with IEP for

> > organization and social skills. The formatting is not going to come

out

> on

> > the listserv, so please have patience with that.

> >

> > The letter is nothing great, but teachers seem to appreciate it.

Before I

> > started doing this several years ago, teachers would be caught

totally

> > off-guard by my son and it was not pretty.

> >

> > Before he had a 504 or an IEP, I would do it a little differently,

since

> > the teachers were getting no info at all. Instead of the " Challenges

> which

> > may not be obvious " section, I had several sections: Problems other

> teachers

> > have had due to my son's disability, Solutions other teachers have

found,

> > Things that are counterproductive, What we do at home to support

school.

> I

> > also included more intro, including info from evaluations.

> >

> > Remember you are going to be talking a lot to20your child's teachers

and

> > administrators all year, so you don't have to say everything and it

> doesn't

> > have to be perfect. You just don't want them to be caught off guard

and

> get

> > off to a bad start.

> >

> > Hope this helps!

> >

> > ------------------------

> >

> > To the teachers of ----- -----

> >

> > Hello, we are -----’ parents. We are writing this because many of

> > -----’ teachers have commented that he “was a first†or

“was

a

> > learning experience.†Many have found ----- to be a challenge. We

hope

> that

> > the following information will be helpful.

> >

> > Intro

> >

> > ----- has been diagnosed with a type of autism called Asperger

Disorder

> and

> > also Developmental Coordination Disorder. He has also been termed

> > “emotionally fragile†by ----- Hospital.

> >

> > Strengths

> > • Academic

> > o Keen interests and skills in certain subjects

> > o High academic ability

> > o Reading and vocabulary

> > o Creative writing

> > o Science

> > • Learning style

> > o Auditory

> > o Group (as opposed to solitary)

> > o Hands-on

> > • Personality

> > o Kind and affectionate, positive attitude

> > o Imaginative and creative

> > o Good sense of humor

>

> o Independent

> >

> > Weaknesses

> >

> > It is helpful to note that ----- is not typical of Asperger

Disorder in

> > some ways. His visual-spatial processing skills are very average,

while

> his

> > auditory processing skills are very high. He often prefers working

on a

> team

> > as opposed to learning on his own, although he may also get very

absorbed

> in

> > individual projects if he finds them very interesting.

> >

> > It is important to understand -----’ weaknesses, because they

come out

> > looking like attention problems when he in fact he is having

> communication

> > breakdowns.

> >

> > It is easy to mistake ----- in shutdown mode for someone simply

being

> > well-behaved and quiet.

> >

> > • Academic

> > o Math

> > o Written expression (grammar, punctuation, taking perspective)

> > • Social cognitive

> > o Using and understanding non-verbal behaviors

> > o Developing appropriate peer relationships

> > o Taking perspective

> > o Pragmatic language

> > • Executive functioning

> > o Organization and planning

> > o Working memory

> > o Initiation

> > • Processing speed

> > • Coordination

> > o Manual dexterity

> > o Bilateral (top and bottom) coordination

> > o To a lesser extent, left-right coordination

> > • Hypo-sensitive

> >

o Doesn’t seek sensation (may not notice discomfort)

> > • Anxiety

> >

> > Special Interests

> >

> > • Science fiction

> > • Fantasy

> > • Creative writing in all types of forms: he has created

role-playing

> > games on the computer, short graphic stories as well as written more

> > traditional stories. Many times he writes " episodes " to already

existing

> > stories, TV shows or movies, even computer games, that he likes, and

> > sometimes he creates his own stories.

> > • Creative process. ----- studies directors, listens to

interviews with

> > actors, directors, producers, authors. He hasn’t watched a movie

until

> > he’s seen all the extra interviews available on the DVD, looks

people

> up

> > on the internet, etc.

> > • Extreme weather, clouds

> > • Certain details of history may catch -----’ eye, usually to

do with

> > some sort of extremeness. For example, he may decide he wants to

learn

> about

> > and memorize all the names and ranks of Hitler’s top 100 men when

> studying

> > WWII.

> > • Germs and viruses

> > • Criminal histories

> > • Forensic science

> >

> > Challenges that may not be obvious

> >

> > Below are informa

tion on -----' challenges. Some of it is from

direct

> > observation by ourselves, past teachers, evaluators, and some of it

is

> > quoted material about Asperger Disorder from various sources.

> >

> > • Because he uses words somewhat differently, it is especially

> important

> > for ----- to learn to validate what he is trying to communicate and

what

> > other people are trying to communicate to him. He needs to learn

two-way

> > communication.

> >

> > • When discussing the " why " of problems, speak of why something is

> > troublesome in non-judgmental terms rather than using words such as

> > " should " , " should not " , " what would be better " . This will help

----- feel

> > validated and listened to and will help him be able to continue the

> > conversation.

> >

> > • Be aware that saying " no " , " stop " or other normal ways of

> communicating

> > to kids may not work with -----. He may misunderstand why you are

saying

> > these things. Instead say " excuse me " , tap him on the shoulder and

give a

> > more concrete explanation. He needs not only simple statements but

also

> an

> > explanation of why you are saying them.

> >

> > • It is hard for ----- to intercede in a conversation where he

feels he

> > has lost control and quickly say " there was something important I

wanted

> to

> > say first " . He do

esn't know how to regain control of a conversation

if it

> > runs off in a different direction. It is easier to just go into

automatic

> > mode--responding to exact questions. This is something he is

working on.

> >

> > • Try binary decision-making. One of the most powerful causes for

> inertia

> > is the feeling of the Asperger’s child that some task is so vast

and

> > complex that he can’t possibly accomplish it. To overcome this

barrier,

> > teach him how to factor any problem into two decisions. He makes

one of

> > those decisions and then factors the next part of the issue into

two more

> > decisions, and makes one of these decisions until the job is done.

> >

> > • Avoid asking vague questions such as, " Why did you do that? "

Instead,

> > say, " I did not like it when you slammed your book down when I said

it

> was

> > time for gym. Next time put the book down gently and tell me you are

> angry.

> > Were you showing me that you did not want to go to gym, or that you

did

> not

> > want to stop reading? " Avoid asking essay-type questions. Be as

concrete

> as

> > possible in all your interactions with -----.

> >

> > • Although he has an occasional snafu, ----- does not have as much

> > difficulty with idioms, double meanings, sarcasm or nicknames as

many

> kids

> > with Asperger have.

> >

> > • Remember that facial expressions and other social cues may not

work.

> > Most individuals with autism have difficulty reading facial

expressions

> and

> > interpreting " body language " . One of the reasons why ----- needs to

be

> > directly asked for his assignments is because he does not notice

all the

> > non-verbal activity going on: teacher waiting at the front of the

class,

> > other kids moving arms, passing papers and shifting in their chairs

> passing

> > papers up, eyes following the papers, etc.

> >

> > • If ----- does not seem to be learning a task, break it down into

> > smaller steps or present the task in several ways (e.g., visually,

> verbally,

> > physically). He is learning to make his own task lists, but

typically

> does

> > not do that on his own yet. As stated earlier, he is not terribly

> > visual-spatial, but he does okay with linear lists.

> >

> > • Avoid verbal overload. Be clear. Use shorter sentences if you

> perceive

> > that the student is not fully understanding you. Although he

probably has

> no

> > hearing problem and may be paying attention, ----- may have

difficulty

> > understanding your main point and identifying important

information. He

> has

> > difficulty following directions, both verbal and written.

> >

> > • Sin

ce ----- experiences various communication difficulties, do

not

> rely

> > on him to relay important messages to his parents about school

events,

> > assignments, school rules, etc. Even sending home a note for his

parents

> may

> > not work. ----- may not remember to deliver the note. Phone calls or

> e-mails

> > to parents work best until the skill can be developed. ----- has a

> difficult

> > time recalling events on demand from different parts of the day. He

has

> > never been able to answer questions like " what did you do at school

> today. "

> > If a teacher does not tell me, for the most part, I don't know. He

does

> > spontaneously remember some things, and he has an excellent

long-term

> > memory. He remembers things forever once he remembers. Hopefully

this

> will

> > improve as he gets older and keeps working on it, but he may always

need

> to

> > write " everything " down.

> >

> > • Going along with the previous note, ----- needs to write down

more

> > detail for assignments and notes than is typical. If it isn't

written

> down,

> > it is often as if it never happened. This includes strategies like

having

> > him verbally repeat things in his own words. This does not usually

work,

> > that is, he has forgotten it by the time he gets home. As said

above,

> > hopefully this will improve as he gets older and keeps

working on

it, but

> he

> > may always need to write " everything " down.

> >

> > • Assume nothing when assessing skills. For example, the

individual

> with

> > autism may be a " math whiz " in Algebra, but not able to make simple

> change

> > at a cash register. Or, he may have an incredible memory about

books he

> has

> > read, speeches he has heard or sports statistics, but still may not

be

> able

> > to remember to bring a pencil to class. Uneven skills development

is a

> > hallmark of autism. ----- IQ test subscores range from the 1st

percentile

> to

> > the 99th percentile.

> >

> > • -----' coordination disability causes him to sit back and let

his

> > teammates do all the physical work when working on things like

science

> > experiments. It is good to strike a balance, encouraging him to get

some

> > practice doing physical activities but not so much so that he is

focusing

> > more on simple physical movements than on learning the material.

> >

> > • ----- shows anxiety or overwhelm by becoming very quiet and

> withdrawing

> > from interaction. He gives the impression of being quiet and

well-behaved

> > when he is actually shutdown, possibly feeling very anxious. If he

is not

> > doing what he is supposed to be doing, talk to him about what is

going

> on.

> > Asperger's childre

n tend to be very proud. If they cannot follow

along in

> a

> > class, they may attempt to resolve the issue by just refusing to do

the

> > work. It’s easier to say “No I won’t†then to say

“I feel

stupid

> > not being able to do the work. Help me! " . In ----- case, he usually

> simply

> > quietly doesn't do the work, and if asked says something casual to

> indicate

> > he just didn't feel like it. He has gotten very good at this. To my

> > experience, he is usually having some difficulty he doesn't feel

> comfortable

> > admitting to rather than being unmotivated. It is very important to

use

> > language that does not connote that he missed something.

> >

> > • An intensification of unusual behavior may mean escalating

anxiety.

> For

> > -----, such behavior might be talking to self (thinking out loud),

> possibly

> > with anger, whole body tremoring and stiffness, dropping things and

being

> > unable to pick them up. ----- has never " lost it " at school. If

that were

> to

> > happen, it would probably be in the form of a verbal outburst.

----- is

> very

> > un-physical, and his personality is mild besides, so he has never

been

> > violent.

> >

> > • Processing speed: a lot of the accommodation for this is simply

> > encouraging ----- to relax

and take his time, possibly lessening the

> > workload. He is getting pretty good at accommodating himself, as

long as

> he

> > is not rushed by someone else or by circumstances.

> >

> > Summary

> >

> > ----- may be a challenge sometimes, to both you and his classmates.

We

> > think this is normal in the circumstances and expected. We hope the

> > difficult times will not let you lose perspective. Nothing works

all the

> > time, and sometimes things go great and sometimes they don't. We

hope you

> > will feel free to share with us, as we like to be able to support

-----'

> > teachers. Please remember that we know our child well, and whatever

you

> say

> > will not upset us or make us think poorly of you. Communication is

key,

> even

> > at -----' age, and we feel we can only provide the best for ----- by

> working

> > together. Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have

questions or

> > think there is something we should know about.

> >

> > I will give you a little background on ourselves. Neither of us

have ever

> > been teachers, so please don't hesitate to state the obvious. Also,

-----

> > has not had an IEP before (he had a 504 Plan), so please have

patience

> with

> > us as we learn the system.

> >

> > Thank you very much for all you do†" we are looking forward to a

great

> > year!

> >=0

D

> > Sincerely,

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

That reminds me of both of my two with hfa mixed together, lol. My

younger ds (12, hfa) chews things all the time. I took a picture of

him once when he was a toddler or a bit older, sitting in a chair that

he had literally eaten. He would chew on it piece by piece and try as

I might, he would get pieces off of it until it was a mess. My older

ds ripped paper when he was stressed out. An autism specialist gave

him a phone book at school one day to calm him down. He just sat and

shredded.

 Roxanna

" The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do

nothing. " E. Burke

( ) Re: hurting herself, does somebody has that

problem?

My son, 25, chews on everything! all the antennas on cordless phone,

his cell phone, the plastic band on a ball cap! I found some cord in

the craft section of WalMart in three colors, bought some aquarium

tubing that I cut into three inch sections. I threaded them to the cord

and made him " chew necklace. " OH, and I left out chewing nails and

cuticles to the bloody quick. He loved it...didn't look girly at all

and was long enough could put in mouth and very durable. I hope that

the plastic in tubing didn't have some terr

ible chemical, but at least

calmed him down.

He has sometimes cut his pants and blankets with pair of scissors when

under extreme stress. But the chew necklace was cheap and worked.

SUe in TN

> > > >

> > > > Could someone post one of their letters? Take your child's name

out,

> > but

> > > I want to see one so if I can see if I'm on the right track. I'd

> > appreciate

> > > it and maybe other could be helped, too?

> > >

> > > Following is my son's. He is 14yo, incoming 9th grader with IEP

for

> > > organization

and social skills. The formatting is not going to

come out

> > on

> > > the listserv, so please have patience with that.

> > >

> > > The letter is nothing great, but teachers seem to appreciate it.

Before I

> > > started doing this several years ago, teachers would be caught

totally

> > > off-guard by my son and it was not pretty.

> > >

> > > Before he had a 504 or an IEP, I would do it a little

differently, since

> > > the teachers were getting no info at all. Instead of the

" Challenges

> > which

> > > may not be obvious " section, I had several sections: Problems

other

> > teachers

> > > have had due to my son's disability, Solutions other teachers

have found,

> > > Things that are counterproductive, What we do at home to support

school.

> > I

> > > also included more intro, including info from evaluations.

> > >

> > > Remember you are going to be talking a lot to your child's

teachers and

> > > administrators all year, so you don't have to say everything and

it

> > doesn't

> > > have to be perfect. You just don't want them to be caught off

guard and

> > get

> > > off to a bad start.

> > >

> > > Hope this helps!

> > >

> > > ------------------------

> > >

> > > To the teachers20of ----- -----

> > >

> > > Hello, we are -----’ parents. We are writing this because

many of

> > > -----’ teachers have commented that he  " was

a

first†or  " was a

> > > learning experience.†Many have found ----- to be a

challenge. We hope

> > that

> > > the following information will be helpful.

> > >

> > > Intro

> > >

> > > ----- has been diagnosed with a type of autism called Asperger

Disorder

> > and

> > > also Developmental Coordination Disorder. He has also been termed

> > >  " emotionally fragile†by ----- Hospital.

> > >

> > > Strengths

> > > • Academic

> > > o Keen interests and skills in certain subjects

> > > o High academic ability

> > > o Reading and vocabulary

> > > o Creative writing

> > > o Science

> > > • Learning style

> > > o Auditory

> > > o Group (as opposed to solitary)

> > > o Hands-on

> > > • Personality

> > > o Kind and affectionate, positive attitude

> > > o Imaginative and

creative

> > > o Good sense of humor

> > > o Independent

> > >

> > > Weaknesses

> > >

> > > It is helpful to note that ----- is not typical of Asperger

Disorder in

> > > some ways. His visual-spatial processing skills are very average,

while

> > his

> > > auditory processing skills are very high. He often prefers

working on a

> > team

> > > as opposed to learning on his own, although he may also get very

absorbed

> > in

> > > individual projects if he finds them very interesting.

> > >

> > > It is important to understand -----’ weaknesses, because

they come out

> > > looking like attention problems when he in fact he is having

> > communication

> > > breakdowns.

> > >

> > > It is easy to mistake ----- in shutdown mode for someone simply

being

> > > well-behaved and quiet.

> > >

> > > • Academic

> > > o Math

> > > o Written expression (grammar, punctuation, taking perspective)

> > > • Social cognitive

> > > o Using and understanding non-verbal behaviors

> > > o Developing appropriate peer relationships

> > > o Taking perspective

> > > o Pragmatic language

> > > • Execut

ive functioning

> > > o Organization and planning

> > > o Working memory

> > > o Initiation

> > > • Processing speed

> > > • Coordination

> > > o Manual dexterity

> > > o Bilateral (top and bottom) coordination

> > > o To a lesser extent, left-right coordination

> > > • Hypo-sensitive

> > > o Doesn’t seek sensation (may not notice discomfort)

> > > • Anxiety

> > >

> > > Special Interests

> > >

> > > • Science fiction

> > > • Fantasy

> > > • Creative writing in all types of forms: he has created

role-playing

> > > games on the computer, short graphic stories as well as written

more

> > > traditional stories. Many times he writes " episodes " to already

existing

> > > stories, TV shows or movies, even computer games, that he likes,

and

> > > sometimes he creates his own stories.

> > > • Creative process. ----- studies directors, listens to

interviews with

> > > actors, directors, producers, authors. He hasn’t watched

a

movie until

> > >

he’s seen all the extra interviews available on the DVD,

looks people

> > up

> > > on the internet, etc.

> > > • Extreme weather, clouds

> > > • Certain details of history may catch

-----’ eye,

usually to do with

> > > some sort of extremeness. For example, he may decide he wants to

learn

> > about

> > > and memorize all the names and ranks of Hitler’s top 100

men when

> > studying

> > > WWII.

> > > • Germs and viruses

> > > • Criminal histories

> > > • Forensic science

> > >

> > > Challenges that may not be obvious

> > >

> > > Below are information on -----' challenges. Some of it is from

direct

> > > observation by ourselves, past teachers, evaluators, and some of

it is

> > > quoted material about Asperger Disorder from various sources.

> > >

> > > • Because he uses words somewhat differently, it is

especially

> > important

> > > for ----- to learn to validate what he is trying to communicate

and what

> > > other people are trying to communica

te to him. He needs to learn

two-way

> > > communication.

> > >

> > > • When discussing the " why " of problems, speak of why

something is

> > > troublesome in non-judgmental terms rather than using words such

as

> > > " should " , " should not " , " what would be better " . This will help

----- feel

> > > validated and listened to and will help him be able to continue

the

> > > conversation.

> > >

> > > • Be aware that saying " no " , " stop " or other normal ways of

> > communicating

> > > to kids may not work with -----. He may misunderstand why you are

saying

> > > these things. Instead say " excuse me " , tap him on the shoulder

and give a

> > > more concrete explanation. He needs not only simple statements

but also

> > an

> > > explanation of why you are saying them.

> > >

> > > • It is hard for ----- to intercede in a conversation where

he feels he

> > > has lost control and quickly say " there was something important I

wanted

> > to

> > > say first " . He doesn't know how to regain control of a

conversation if it

> > > runs off in a different direction. It is easier to just go into

automatic

> > > mode--responding to exact questions. This is something he20is

working on.

> > >

> > > • Try binary decision-making. One of the most powerful

causes for

> > inertia

> > > is the feeling of the Asperger’s child that some task is

so vast and

> > > complex that he can’t possibly accomplish it. To overcome

this barrier,

> > > teach him how to factor any problem into two decisions. He makes

one of

> > > those decisions and then factors the next part of the issue into

two more

> > > decisions, and makes one of these decisions until the job is done.

> > >

> > > • Avoid asking vague questions such as, " Why did you do

that? " Instead,

> > > say, " I did not like it when you slammed your book down when I

said it

> > was

> > > time for gym. Next time put the book down gently and tell me you

are

> > angry.

> > > Were you showing me that you did not want to go to gym, or that

you did

> > not

> > > want to stop reading? " Avoid asking essay-type questions. Be as

concrete

> > as

> > > possible in all your interactions with -----.

> > >

> > > • Although he has an occasional snafu, ----- does not have

as much

> > > difficulty

with idioms, double meanings, sarcasm or nicknames as

many

> > kids

> > > with Asperger have.

> > >

> > > • Remember that facial expressions and other social cues

may not work.

> > > Most individuals with autism have difficulty reading facial

expressions

> > and

> > > interpreting " body language " . One of the reasons why ----- needs

to be

> > > directly asked for his assignments is because he does not notice

all the

> > > non-verbal activity going on: teacher waiting at the front of the

class,

> > > other kids moving arms, passing papers and shifting in their

chairs

> > passing

> > > papers up, eyes following the papers, etc.

> > >

> > > • If ----- does not seem to be learning a task, break it

down into

> > > smaller steps or present the task in several ways (e.g., visually,

> > verbally,

> > > physically). He is learning to make his own task lists, but

typically

> > does

> > > not do that on his own yet. As stated earlier, he is not terribly

> > > visual-spatial, but he does okay with linear lists.

> > >

> > > • Avoid verbal overload. Be clear. Use shorter sentences if

you

> > perceive

> > > that the student is not fully understanding you.

Although he

probably has

> > no

> > > hearing problem and may be paying attention, ----- may have

difficulty

> > > understanding your main point and identifying important

information. He

> > has

> > > difficulty following directions, both verbal and written.

> > >

> > > • Since ----- experiences various communication

difficulties, do not

> > rely

> > > on him to relay important messages to his parents about school

events,

> > > assignments, school rules, etc. Even sending home a note for his

parents

> > may

> > > not work. ----- may not remember to deliver the note. Phone calls

or

> > e-mails

> > > to parents work best until the skill can be developed. ----- has a

> > difficult

> > > time recalling events on demand from different parts of the day.

He has

> > > never been able to answer questions like " what did you do at

school

> > today. "

> > > If a teacher does not tell me, for the most part, I don't know.

He does

> > > spontaneously remember some things, and he has an excellent

long-term

> > > memory. He remembers things forever once he remembers. Hopefully

this

> > will

> > > improve as he gets older and keeps working on it, but he may

always need

> > to

> > > write " everything " down.

> > >

> > > • Going along with the previous note, ----- needs to write

down more

> > > detail for assignments and notes than is typical. If it isn't

written

> > down,

> > > it is often as if it never happened. This includes strategies

like having

> > > him verbally repeat things in his own words. This does not

usually work,

> > > that is, he has forgotten it by the time he gets home. As said

above,

> > > hopefully this will improve as he gets older and keeps working on

it, but

> > he

> > > may always need to write " everything " down.

> > >

> > > • Assume nothing when assessing skills. For example, the

individual

> > with

> > > autism may be a " math whiz " in Algebra, but not able to make

simple

> > change

> > > at a cash register. Or, he may have an incredible memory about

books he

> > has

> > > read, speeches he has heard or sports statistics, but still may

not be

> > able

> > > to remember to bring a pencil to class. Uneven skills development

is a

> > > hallmark of autism. ----- IQ test subscores range from the 1st

percentile

> > to

> > > the 99th percentile.

> > >

> > > • -----' coordination disability causes h

im to sit back and

let his

> > > teammates do all the physical work when working on things like

science

> > > experiments. It is good to strike a balance, encouraging him to

get some

> > > practice doing physical activities but not so much so that he is

focusing

> > > more on simple physical movements than on learning the material.

> > >

> > > • ----- shows anxiety or overwhelm by becoming very quiet

and

> > withdrawing

> > > from interaction. He gives the impression of being quiet and

well-behaved

> > > when he is actually shutdown, possibly feeling very anxious. If

he is not

> > > doing what he is supposed to be doing, talk to him about what is

going

> > on.

> > > Asperger's children tend to be very proud. If they cannot follow

along in

> > a

> > > class, they may attempt to resolve the issue by just refusing to

do the

> > > work. It’s easier to say  " No I

won’tâ€

then to say  " I feel stupid

> > > not being able to do the work. Help me! " . In ----- case, he

usually

> > simply

> > > quietly doesn't do the work, and if asked says something casual to

> > indicate

>20> > he just didn't feel like it. He has gotten very good at this. To

my

> > > experience, he is usually having some difficulty he doesn't feel

> > comfortable

> > > admitting to rather than being unmotivated. It is very important

to use

> > > language that does not connote that he missed something.

> > >

> > > • An intensification of unusual behavior may mean

escalating anxiety.

> > For

> > > -----, such behavior might be talking to self (thinking out loud),

> > possibly

> > > with anger, whole body tremoring and stiffness, dropping things

and being

> > > unable to pick them up. ----- has never " lost it " at school. If

that were

> > to

> > > happen, it would probably be in the form of a verbal outburst.

----- is

> > very

> > > un-physical, and his personality is mild besides, so he has never

been

> > > violent.

> > >

> > > • Processing speed: a lot of the accommodation for this is

simply

> > > encouraging ----- to relax and take his time, possibly lessening

the

> > > workload. He is getting pretty good at accommodating himself, as

long as

> > he

> > > is not rushed by someone else or by circumstances.

> > >

> > > Summary

> > >

> > > ----- may be a

challenge sometimes, to both you and his

classmates. We

> > > think this is normal in the circumstances and expected. We hope

the

> > > difficult times will not let you lose perspective. Nothing works

all the

> > > time, and sometimes things go great and sometimes they don't. We

hope you

> > > will feel free to share with us, as we like to be able to support

-----'

> > > teachers. Please remember that we know our child well, and

whatever you

> > say

> > > will not upset us or make us think poorly of you. Communication

is key,

> > even

> > > at -----' age, and we feel we can only provide the best for -----

by

> > working

> > > together. Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have

questions or

> > > think there is something we should know about.

> > >

> > > I will give you a little background on ourselves. Neither of us

have ever

> > > been teachers, so please don't hesitate to state the obvious.

Also, -----

> > > has not had an IEP before (he had a 504 Plan), so please have

patience

> > with

> > > us as we learn the system.

> > >

> > > Thank you very much for all you do†" we are looking forward to

a great

> > > year!

> > >

> > > Sincerely,

> > >

> > >

> >20>

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

That is so funny!!You guys are great!! ( ) Re: hurting herself, does somebody has that problem?My son, 25, chews on everything! all the antennas on cordless phone, his cell phone, the plastic band on a ball cap! I found some cord in the craft section of WalMart in three colors, bought some aquarium tubing that I cut into three inch sections. I threaded them to the cord and made him "chew necklace." OH, and I left out chewing nails and cuticles to the bloody quick. He loved it...didn't look girly at all and was long enough could put in mouth and very durable. I hope that the plastic in tubing didn't have some terrible chemical, but at least calmed him down.He has sometimes cut his pants and blankets with pair of scissors when under extreme stress. But the chew necklace was cheap and worked.SUe in TN> > > >> > > > Could someone post one of their letters? Take your child's name out,> > but> > > I want to see one so if I can see if I'm on the right track. I'd> > appreciate> > > it and maybe other could be helped, too?> > >> > > Following is my son's. He is 14yo, incoming 9th grader with IEP for> > > organization and social skills. The formatting is not going to come out> > on> > > the listserv, so please have patience with that.> > >> > > The letter is nothing great, but teachers seem to appreciate it. Before I> > > started doing this several years ago, teachers would be caught totally> > > off-guard by my son and it was not pretty.> > >> > > Before he had a 504 or an IEP, I would do it a little differently, since> > > the teachers were getting no info at all. Instead of the "Challenges> > which> > > may not be obvious" section, I had several sections: Problems other> > teachers> > > have had due to my son's disability, Solutions other teachers have found,> > > Things that are counterproductive, What we do at home to support school.> > I> > > also included more intro, including info from evaluations.> > >> > > Remember you are going to be talking a lot to your child's teachers and> > > administrators all year, so you don't have to say everything and it> > doesn't> > > have to be perfect. You just don't want them to be caught off guard and> > get> > > off to a bad start.> > >> > > Hope this helps!> > >> > > ------------------------> > >> > > To the teachers20of ----- -----> > >> > > Hello, we are -----’ parents. We are writing this because many of> > > -----’ teachers have commented that he â€Å"was a first†or â€Å"was a> > > learning experience.†Many have found ----- to be a challenge. We hope> > that> > > the following information will be helpful.> > >> > > Intro> > >> > > ----- has been diagnosed with a type of autism called Asperger Disorder> > and> > > also Developmental Coordination Disorder. He has also been termed> > > â€Å"emotionally fragile†by ----- Hospital.> > >> > > Strengths> > > • Academic> > > o Keen interests and skills in certain subjects> > > o High academic ability> > > o Reading and vocabulary> > > o Creative writing> > > o Science> > > • Learning style> > > o Auditory> > > o Group (as opposed to solitary)> > > o Hands-on> > > • Personality> > > o Kind and affectionate, positive attitude> > > o Imaginative and creative> > > o Good sense of humor> > > o Independent> > >> > > Weaknesses> > >> > > It is helpful to note that ----- is not typical of Asperger Disorder in> > > some ways. His visual-spatial processing skills are very average, while> > his> > > auditory processing skills are very high. He often prefers working on a> > team> > > as opposed to learning on his own, although he may also get very absorbed> > in> > > individual projects if he finds them very interesting.> > >> > > It is important to understand -----’ weaknesses, because they come out> > > looking like attention problems when he in fact he is having> > communication> > > breakdowns.> > >> > > It is easy to mistake ----- in shutdown mode for someone simply being> > > well-behaved and quiet.> > >> > > • Academic> > > o Math> > > o Written expression (grammar, punctuation, taking perspective)> > > • Social cognitive> > > o Using and understanding non-verbal behaviors> > > o Developing appropriate peer relationships> > > o Taking perspective> > > o Pragmatic language> > > • Executive functioning> > > o Organization and planning> > > o Working memory> > > o Initiation> > > • Processing speed> > > • Coordination> > > o Manual dexterity> > > o Bilateral (top and bottom) coordination> > > o To a lesser extent, left-right coordination> > > • Hypo-sensitive> > > o Doesn’t seek sensation (may not notice discomfort)> > > • Anxiety> > >> > > Special Interests> > >> > > • Science fiction> > > • Fantasy> > > • Creative writing in all types of forms: he has created role-playing> > > games on the computer, short graphic stories as well as written more> > > traditional stories. Many times he writes "episodes" to already existing> > > stories, TV shows or movies, even computer games, that he likes, and> > > sometimes he creates his own stories.> > > • Creative process. ----- studies directors, listens to interviews with> > > actors, directors, producers, authors. He hasn’t watched a movie until> > > he’s seen all the extra interviews available on the DVD, looks people> > up> > > on the internet, etc.> > > • Extreme weather, clouds> > > • Certain details of history may catch -----’ eye, usually to do with> > > some sort of extremeness. For example, he may decide he wants to learn> > about> > > and memorize all the names and ranks of Hitler’s top 100 men when> > studying> > > WWII.> > > • Germs and viruses> > > • Criminal histories> > > • Forensic science> > >> > > Challenges that may not be obvious> > >> > > Below are information on -----' challenges. Some of it is from direct> > > observation by ourselves, past teachers, evaluators, and some of it is> > > quoted material about Asperger Disorder from various sources.> > >> > > • Because he uses words somewhat differently, it is especially> > important> > > for ----- to learn to validate what he is trying to communicate and what> > > other people are trying to communicate to him. He needs to learn two-way> > > communication.> > >> > > • When discussing the "why" of problems, speak of why something is> > > troublesome in non-judgmental terms rather than using words such as> > > "should", "should not", "what would be better". This will help ----- feel> > > validated and listened to and will help him be able to continue the> > > conversation.> > >> > > • Be aware that saying "no", "stop" or other normal ways of> > communicating> > > to kids may not work with -----. He may misunderstand why you are saying> > > these things. Instead say "excuse me", tap him on the shoulder and give a> > > more concrete explanation. He needs not only simple statements but also> > an> > > explanation of why you are saying them.> > >> > > • It is hard for ----- to intercede in a conversation where he feels he> > > has lost control and quickly say "there was something important I wanted> > to> > > say first". He doesn't know how to regain control of a conversation if it> > > runs off in a different direction. It is easier to just go into automatic> > > mode--responding to exact questions. This is something he20is working on.> > >> > > • Try binary decision-making. One of the most powerful causes for> > inertia> > > is the feeling of the Asperger’s child that some task is so vast and> > > complex that he can’t possibly accomplish it. To overcome this barrier,> > > teach him how to factor any problem into two decisions. He makes one of> > > those decisions and then factors the next part of the issue into two more> > > decisions, and makes one of these decisions until the job is done.> > >> > > • Avoid asking vague questions such as, "Why did you do that?" Instead,> > > say, "I did not like it when you slammed your book down when I said it> > was> > > time for gym. Next time put the book down gently and tell me you are> > angry.> > > Were you showing me that you did not want to go to gym, or that you did> > not> > > want to stop reading?" Avoid asking essay-type questions. Be as concrete> > as> > > possible in all your interactions with -----.> > >> > > • Although he has an occasional snafu, ----- does not have as much> > > difficulty with idioms, double meanings, sarcasm or nicknames as many> > kids> > > with Asperger have.> > >> > > • Remember that facial expressions and other social cues may not work.> > > Most individuals with autism have difficulty reading facial expressions> > and> > > interpreting "body language". One of the reasons why ----- needs to be> > > directly asked for his assignments is because he does not notice all the> > > non-verbal activity going on: teacher waiting at the front of the class,> > > other kids moving arms, passing papers and shifting in their chairs> > passing> > > papers up, eyes following the papers, etc.> > >> > > • If ----- does not seem to be learning a task, break it down into> > > smaller steps or present the task in several ways (e.g., visually,> > verbally,> > > physically). He is learning to make his own task lists, but typically> > does> > > not do that on his own yet. As stated earlier, he is not terribly> > > visual-spatial, but he does okay with linear lists.> > >> > > • Avoid verbal overload. Be clear. Use shorter sentences if you> > perceive> > > that the student is not fully understanding you. Although he probably has> > no> > > hearing problem and may be paying attention, ----- may have difficulty> > > understanding your main point and identifying important information. He> > has> > > difficulty following directions, both verbal and written.> > >> > > • Since ----- experiences various communication difficulties, do not> > rely> > > on him to relay important messages to his parents about school events,> > > assignments, school rules, etc. Even sending home a note for his parents> > may> > > not work. ----- may not remember to deliver the note. Phone calls or> > e-mails> > > to parents work best until the skill can be developed. ----- has a> > difficult> > > time recalling events on demand from different parts of the day. He has> > > never been able to answer questions like "what did you do at school> > today."> > > If a teacher does not tell me, for the most part, I don't know. He does> > > spontaneously remember some things, and he has an excellent long-term> > > memory. He remembers things forever once he remembers. Hopefully this> > will> > > improve as he gets older and keeps working on it, but he may always need> > to> > > write "everything" down.> > >> > > • Going along with the previous note, ----- needs to write down more> > > detail for assignments and notes than is typical. If it isn't written> > down,> > > it is often as if it never happened. This includes strategies like having> > > him verbally repeat things in his own words. This does not usually work,> > > that is, he has forgotten it by the time he gets home. As said above,> > > hopefully this will improve as he gets older and keeps working on it, but> > he> > > may always need to write "everything" down.> > >> > > • Assume nothing when assessing skills. For example, the individual> > with> > > autism may be a "math whiz" in Algebra, but not able to make simple> > change> > > at a cash register. Or, he may have an incredible memory about books he> > has> > > read, speeches he has heard or sports statistics, but still may not be> > able> > > to remember to bring a pencil to class. Uneven skills development is a> > > hallmark of autism. ----- IQ test subscores range from the 1st percentile> > to> > > the 99th percentile.> > >> > > • -----' coordination disability causes him to sit back and let his> > > teammates do all the physical work when working on things like science> > > experiments. It is good to strike a balance, encouraging him to get some> > > practice doing physical activities but not so much so that he is focusing> > > more on simple physical movements than on learning the material.> > >> > > • ----- shows anxiety or overwhelm by becoming very quiet and> > withdrawing> > > from interaction. He gives the impression of being quiet and well-behaved> > > when he is actually shutdown, possibly feeling very anxious. If he is not> > > doing what he is supposed to be doing, talk to him about what is going> > on.> > > Asperger's children tend to be very proud. If they cannot follow along in> > a> > > class, they may attempt to resolve the issue by just refusing to do the> > > work. It’s easier to say â€Å"No I won’t†then to say â€Å"I feel stupid> > > not being able to do the work. Help me!". In ----- case, he usually> > simply> > > quietly doesn't do the work, and if asked says something casual to> > indicate>20> > he just didn't feel like it. He has gotten very good at this. To my> > > experience, he is usually having some difficulty he doesn't feel> > comfortable> > > admitting to rather than being unmotivated. It is very important to use> > > language that does not connote that he missed something.> > >> > > • An intensification of unusual behavior may mean escalating anxiety.> > For> > > -----, such behavior might be talking to self (thinking out loud),> > possibly> > > with anger, whole body tremoring and stiffness, dropping things and being> > > unable to pick them up. ----- has never "lost it" at school. If that were> > to> > > happen, it would probably be in the form of a verbal outburst. ----- is> > very> > > un-physical, and his personality is mild besides, so he has never been> > > violent.> > >> > > • Processing speed: a lot of the accommodation for this is simply> > > encouraging ----- to relax and take his time, possibly lessening the> > > workload. He is getting pretty good at accommodating himself, as long as> > he> > > is not rushed by someone else or by circumstances.> > >> > > Summary> > >> > > ----- may be a challenge sometimes, to both you and his classmates. We> > > think this is normal in the circumstances and expected. We hope the> > > difficult times will not let you lose perspective. Nothing works all the> > > time, and sometimes things go great and sometimes they don't. We hope you> > > will feel free to share with us, as we like to be able to support -----'> > > teachers. Please remember that we know our child well, and whatever you> > say> > > will not upset us or make us think poorly of you. Communication is key,> > even> > > at -----' age, and we feel we can only provide the best for ----- by> > working> > > together. Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have questions or> > > think there is something we should know about.> > >> > > I will give you a little background on ourselves. Neither of us have ever> > > been teachers, so please don't hesitate to state the obvious. Also, -----> > > has not had an IEP before (he had a 504 Plan), so please have patience> > with> > > us as we learn the system.> > >> > > Thank you very much for all you doâ€"we are looking forward to a great> > > year!> > >> > > Sincerely,> > >> > >> >20>> >> >> >>