Positive happenings

[Guest guest]

Belita, Just a few days ago I was on here boo hooing about the

fact that my daughter was refusing her anxiety meds and not calling

me, real boo hooing actually, not makin fun. I called and let her

psychiatrist know about these things even tho she is 21.

At any rate, I don't know if her very kind and wonderful psych.

called or not. BUT, she called me out of the blue today to share

with me that she had an awesome day yesterday, that 9 of her

friends surprised her with a surprise birthday party at her

favorite resaurant! And actually talked more than 5 minutes to

me on the phone! I don't know WHO intervened, but I surely

needed it, was feeling so hopeless and blue about the daughter

I felt I was losing. We'd always gotten along sooo well.

As far as 15. Well, keep advocating, keep fighting. She was

EXTREMELY difficult thruout highschool, before she was even

diagnosed asperger's(she was misdiagnosed with depression, add, GAD;

I tried really I tried). I was afraid this very smart and

intelligent girl was not even going to graduate high school!

So we were practically joined at the hip at that point.

She started at the community college, and was determined to go

to UCF. She flunked her first semester there. Found out the proper

diagnosis, took a medical leave. Returned to community college

for two semesters, and then returned to UCF last spring. She

is still there!! Living on her own in an apartment with a roomie.

Refused to learn to drive till age 18, now EXCELLENT driver.

I am sure I will be on here boo hooing again, that is the way

it is with me; and with her. I miss her so when she acts distant.

I guess what I'm saying is, it is like a dance that goes on

between your aspie and yourself, you constantly have to be

watching where their feet are going, and guide them gently

and kindly (or else melt down big time) as best you can, and

try so hard to let it go from there as they get older. Try and

have a mentor to guide them to what career might suit them best.

I certainly couldn't figure THAT one out, I was too close to

the situation. Her psychologist and she worked on that one.

I wish it was easier. I wish I could say I trust her judgements

but what 21 yo can you?? It's the silences that crush me.

And it's the silences that prove to her that I trust her I guess.

Talk to him early about managing finances, I wish I had. Discuss

his obsessions and where he thinks they'd take him career-wise.

Sorry, this seems like a rambling long one. But I feel like I

go up and down like a roller coaster, but at the same time I

feel like she is making progress. I know she needs me to be her

calm and steady center. She doesn't see me alone at home in an

emotional wreck from missing her or not knowing how she is doing!!

I see a counselor for myself. It helps me let it out!

Plus when things get very disrespectful, I will sometimes write

a letter to her about it. She can blow off the verbal so easy.

I have not given up hope for her future. I am here to stay to

offer love and encouragement even in the face of ugly behavior

that is addressed after the heat of the moment. It. is. TOUGH.

Hang in. I hope I didn't ramble too long.

Hugs Jo

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> Thank you for sharing your story. I've been waiting (impatiently) to hear

> about anyone with a positive report on good progress with their ASPIE.

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> I've been feeling so hopeless watching my 15 yr old son constantly struggle

> while having dreams of going to a major university and having a career when

> he has so many deficits he has no understanding about and refuses to work

> on.

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> Belita

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