any with college age kids

[Guest guest]

who have been or are in college?

My son, 21, is in his last year. Not going well. His first 2 years he did at

our local community college, did great. Then went to university (UNC Chapel

Hill) last year. Did less great but passed. Not bad overall, but no more

straight A's, close call on passing one class. But I was proud he was living on

campus and actually now has a social life with friends. Never had a social life

at home while growing up, no friends.

His OCD is severe, came back in high school and he refuses meds. It does

interfere (bad thoughts mostly) with things but even with that, he managed high

school and the community college okay.

I've recently been encouraging him to seek out the college's services to try to

get back on meds for his OCD, felt like he might be weakening towards that. But

he's sooo busy each day until 4 or 5pm and the health services close at 5, want

walk-ins (first time there) by 3:30.... Excuses maybe.

So he came home this summer and pretty much stayed up nights and slept days

(what's new, all my sons do that) but returned to playing video games; hadn't

done that in years. Spent his waking hours playing games. So I thought, well

he needs to de-stress.

He admitted last year that he could have studied more but apparently lacked the

motivation. He'd rather be online or doing something social he said. He, to

me, seemed to have lost his joy in learning. Maybe because it was harder, the

work and all, I dunno, plus the lower grades on things like his lab result

reports he had to write may have lowered his self-esteem a bit? just guessing

on my part.

Well, this semester he is flunking. He is lost in his classes, doesn't

understand (or grasp) what they are learning so is " lost " on tests and other

(he's majoring in science with his direction going towards medical research).

He's failing homework and tests.

He called today, is really stressed. Has 2 lab reports due this week and a test

Tuesday. I think one lab is due Monday, if not both. And he says he just can't

do it all. And that the class with the test is the one he is lost in, can't

get. SIGH!

So was wondering -- has anyone else had a son quit college? I'm wondering about

options, his coming home and going to a closer college and taking just a class

or two, or going online...something where he could go at a slower pace and still

get his BS degree.

I encouraged him today to seek out the campus services for students. But don't

know if he will *make* himself do that, even though I emailed him links about

them from his college's website. I asked him about friends helping him, he

doesn't want to bother them, doesn't think it would be " fair " to them? I dunno.

I also wonder if he's just " burned out " in general from 3 yrs of college....

So - any experiences or thoughts welcome. I gave him so many options, seek

help, come home...I'm not sure he can choose. I also asked if he wanted to

declare his disabilities, OCD and Aspergers. Decision making was always hard

for him.

Thanks,

Chris

(a worried mom!)