Guest guest Posted October 24, 2009 Report Share Posted October 24, 2009 I feel your pain! My son was also diagnosed ADHD when he was younger but I never felt like that was the whole picture. He wasn't diagnosed w/ Aspergers until the 6th grade. Maybe he had ADHD but I didn't dwell too much on the diagnosis and instead focused on getting him help for his behaviors. It was obviously a neurological issue - you could tell he had good intentions - so that's what we addressed. I think my son reacts to the stimulation in his internal (allergies/anxiety) and external environment. He's sensory challenged, so loud sounds, extreme temperatures, bright lights, etc... all make him anxious which causes him to make lots of noises or act pretty silly at times. He also has a propensity to get anxious about things like anticipating his band members will mess up at the Fall concert or when he knows he has homework and won't have much time for video games. When he's anxious, he'll make weird sounds and move around a lot. It's anxiety-provoking to me (I'm often telling him to relax, chill out, stop it, etc...) so I can only imagine how he feels. I've been teaching him to say what's going on with him "I'm anxious" or "I'm nervous" and then we try to talk through what's bothering him. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but I think it's important for him to understand what's going on with him at the time. My son is very smart so I use that to our advantage. I'll take a social situation and break it down by explaining what just happened so he can use his smart brain to "learn" how to be social. It takes a lot of patience, but he slowly but surely can put things together and it helps him. He still has a hard time making friends and oftentimes, people tune him out because it's overwhelming to be around him at times. But other times, he's okay. He has learned to have better control over his reactions/anxiety when he's at school. He stopped taking his Daytrana Patch (we used it to help him focus and take the "edge" off a bit but with minimal success throughout the years) b/c it effects his appetite and he was tired of not being able to eat lunch. Last six weeks he had 2 Bs and the rest As so I think it's going to be okay. I still do A LOT to help him keep up with his schoolwork though... A LOT. His school has an online system that shows his grades so we follow-up when we see 0s. He goes in for tutoring to make up work at least once a week, but that's fine with me if he ends up with mostly As and a couple of Bs. He's had a friend or two outside of school throughout the years but his best friend moved away a year ago. The other friend he sees once a month or so b/c they don't live as close anymore. He finally, in 8th grade, has a small circle of friends at school, primarily b/c a girl took a liking to him and invited him into her group. She thinks he's funny and I think she might be interested in him more so than just a friend, which is wonderful and horrifying to see at the same time! He's very clear that he's not ready to be anything but a friend though. He will tell you this "I am not ready to have a girlfriend. I'm too young." It's pretty cute. Anyway, if your son has been classified as ADHD, why is he being punished for losing his homework or being unorganized at school? That does not make sense to me at all. Does he have an IEP in place? If he does, there should be assistance with organization and extra time to turn in assignments w/out grade penalties in it. That doesn't sound right at all that he's being punished for a manifestation of his disability, regardless if it's caused by ADHD or Aspergers. Things are exponentially better for Dylan now. We haven't solved all of the problems, but he's 13 and life is pretty good for him. From the age of 3 or 4 until 10 or so were pretty brutal. From mom to mom, my best advice for YOU is to not beat yourself up about how you parent him. Get help if you need to learn effective ways of disciplining him, but don't expect yourself to have all of the answers. Once I accepted that I'm doing the best I can and this wasn't my fault, it became more clear on how to help him. Hang in there. "Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out." From: heather <heatherd_2@...> Sent: Friday, October 23, 2009 10:50:59 PMSubject: ( ) Hi! New to group Hi everyone, I'm the mother of a 10 year old boy who I am now finding out what has been treated as extreme ADHD all these years is actually AS. The school is not so cooperative with me on testing him so I had to put it in writing demanding he be tested to get help. He is a very brilliant student. He is unorganized, and often loses, misplaces, or forgets homework pages. He has had after school detention for the last two weeks for forgetting homework and has another 2 hour afterschool coming up in a couple weeks, then it's to saturday school if it continues. It about brings me to tears that the school is just saying he is unorganized. I see him every day, all day, for the last 10 years. He has very good intentions but he just gets so easily distracted he forgets to do what he was told to do. He doesn't have many friends, not close ones either. Other kids are sarcastic and rude to him and he just doesn't see it like I do. He can't read their attitude in their voice or body language either. I am really hoping to learn a lot from all of you about how to help him and help myself also. I find myself all the time tell him to stop acting like that or stop doing that or stop making that noise. He can't control it and I know that, I just keep trying to help him help himself.I look forward to reading all the messages in the group! & Cole from Ohio Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2009 Report Share Posted October 24, 2009 Hi Sounds VERY familiar! My son is only 7, but the SAME stuff! The school was the same way with me, but so were doctors! I FINALLY got a dx last week from his clinical psychologist! She wrote it up as "High Functioning Autism" to help us qualify for services! The disorganization makes me INSANE, but I try to remember where it comes from and try to make it as easy as possible! Labeled drawers and bins for very specific placement. Markerboard checklists on the wall...etc. Best of luck to you! Lori Lashley ( ) Hi! New to group Hi everyone, I'm the mother of a 10 year old boy who I am now finding out what has been treated as extreme ADHD all these years is actually AS. The school is not so cooperative with me on testing him so I had to put it in writing demanding he be tested to get help. He is a very brilliant student. He is unorganized, and often loses, misplaces, or forgets homework pages. He has had after school detention for the last two weeks for forgetting homework and has another 2 hour afterschool coming up in a couple weeks, then it's to saturday school if it continues. It about brings me to tears that the school is just saying he is unorganized. I see him every day, all day, for the last 10 years. He has very good intentions but he just gets so easily distracted he forgets to do what he was told to do. He doesn't have many friends, not close ones either. Other kids are sarcastic and rude to him and he just doesn't see it like I do. He can't read their attitude in their voice or body language either. I am really hoping to learn a lot from all of you about how to help him and help myself also. I find myself all the time tell him to stop acting like that or stop doing that or stop making that noise. He can't control it and I know that, I just keep trying to help him help himself.I look forward to reading all the messages in the group! & Cole from Ohio No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.5.423 / Virus Database: 270.14.31/2457 - Release Date: 10/24/09 14:31:00 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2009 Report Share Posted October 24, 2009 Your boy is my alter ego at his age. My mother was a constant vigilant at my side. Thanks to her I could survive and rise above the pain and anguish. My 18 yrs old has AS also, she is much brighter and stronger but this also makes her associated conditions worse. I could go to college and graduate school but I admit that being AS is a great challenge. Be patient and do not settle for anything less than the best for your child.Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeedFrom: "Lori Lashley" <l8elucretia@...>Date: Sat, 24 Oct 2009 10:10:01 -0700< >Subject: Re: ( ) Hi! New to group Hi Sounds VERY familiar! My son is only 7, but the SAME stuff! The school was the same way with me, but so were doctors! I FINALLY got a dx last week from his clinical psychologist! She wrote it up as "High Functioning Autism" to help us qualify for services! The disorganization makes me INSANE, but I try to remember where it comes from and try to make it as easy as possible! Labeled drawers and bins for very specific placement. Markerboard checklists on the wall...etc. Best of luck to you! Lori Lashley ( ) Hi! New to group Hi everyone, I'm the mother of a 10 year old boy who I am now finding out what has been treated as extreme ADHD all these years is actually AS. The school is not so cooperative with me on testing him so I had to put it in writing demanding he be tested to get help. He is a very brilliant student. He is unorganized, and often loses, misplaces, or forgets homework pages. He has had after school detention for the last two weeks for forgetting homework and has another 2 hour afterschool coming up in a couple weeks, then it's to saturday school if it continues. It about brings me to tears that the school is just saying he is unorganized. I see him every day, all day, for the last 10 years. He has very good intentions but he just gets so easily distracted he forgets to do what he was told to do. He doesn't have many friends, not close ones either. Other kids are sarcastic and rude to him and he just doesn't see it like I do. He can't read their attitude in their voice or body language either. I am really hoping to learn a lot from all of you about how to help him and help myself also. I find myself all the time tell him to stop acting like that or stop doing that or stop making that noise. He can't control it and I know that, I just keep trying to help him help himself.I look forward to reading all the messages in the group! & Cole from OhioNo virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.5.423 / Virus Database: 270.14.31/2457 - Release Date: 10/24/09 14:31:00 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 19, 2009 Report Share Posted November 19, 2009 Hi , where in Ohio are you? Is the school testing him now? You can find Ohio state advocate help at --> http://www.ocecd.org/ Roxanna " The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. " E. Burke ( ) Hi! New to group Hi everyone, I'm the mother of a 10 year old boy who I am now finding out what has been treated as extreme ADHD all these years is actually AS. The school is not so cooperative with me on testing him so I had to put it in writing demanding he be tested to get help. He is a very brilliant student. He is unorganized, and often loses, misplaces, or forgets homework pages. He has had after school detention for the last two weeks for forgetting homework and has another 2 hour afterschool coming up in a couple weeks, then it's to saturday school if it continues. It about brings me to tears that the school is just saying he is unorganized. I see him every day, all day, for the last 10 years. He has very good intentions but he just gets so easily distracted he forgets to do what he was told to do. He doesn't have many friends, not close ones either. Other kids are sarcastic and rude to him and he just doesn't see it like I do. He can't read their attitude in their voice or body language either. I am really hoping to learn a lot from all of you about how to help him and help myself also. I find myself all the time tell him to stop acting like that or stop doing that or stop making that noise. He can't control it and I know that, I just keep trying to help him help himself. I look forward to reading all the messages in the group! & Cole from Ohio Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 22, 2009 Report Share Posted November 22, 2009 Thank you to all of you who responded to this thread with such great insight. Welcome to and Cole, I am also totally new also... Hope everyone has a great day! (-: Lori > > Hi , where in Ohio are you? Is the school testing him now? You > can find Ohio state advocate help at --> http://www.ocecd.org/ > > Roxanna > > " The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do > nothing. " E. Burke > > ( ) Hi! New to group > > > > > > Hi everyone, I'm the mother of a 10 year old boy who I am now finding > out what has been treated as extreme ADHD all these years is actually > AS. The school is not so cooperative with me on testing him so I had to > put it in writing demanding he be tested to get help. He is a very > brilliant student. He is unorganized, and often loses, misplaces, or > forgets homework pages. He has had after school detention for the last > two weeks for forgetting homework and has another 2 hour afterschool > coming up in a couple weeks, then it's to saturday school if it > continues. It about brings me to tears that the school is just saying > he is unorganized. I see him every day, all day, for the last 10 years. > He has very good intentions but he just gets so easily distracted he > forgets to do what he was told to do. He doesn't have many friends, not > close ones either. Other kids are sarcastic and rude to him and he just > doesn't see it like I do. He can't read their attitude in their voice > or body language either. > I am really hoping to learn a lot from all of you about how to help him > and help myself also. I find myself all the time tell him to stop > acting like that or stop doing that or stop making that noise. He can't > control it and I know that, I just keep trying to help him help himself. > I look forward to reading all the messages in the group! > & Cole from Ohio > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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