perfectionist Re: Need help with goal writing

[Guest guest]

My son has these traits too - perfectionist (although a messy and disorganised

one) and black and white rigid thinking - which causes him much frustration.

My theory is creativity (freedom to experiment without being judged) is the

opposite of perfectionism (which is fear of making a mistake and breeds

anxiety). Psychiatrist recommended creative theories to allow emotional

expression and creativeness (ie art for fun, not to be " technically correct " ,

same with music.

from my own journey, when I learnt classical music, I became more perfectionist

and worried about having to have it exactly right (and had terrible performance

anxiety and the joy was sapped). I moved on to doing improvising/jazz, where a

" mistake " /experimenting can make a cool sound, and have escape (can go into

trance like state - very relaxing and gives me break from think all the time).

Same with art - I can draw realistically, but struggled to paint realistically,

but didn't really enjoy art until I did abstract and stopped having people

critique my work as good or bad.

Interestingly, I have been told I have a " gift " in musical improvisation, even

though I struggle with some conventional stuff like sight-reading music etc. I

plan to teach him keyboard, but not in conventional way. Has also being doing

some art.

His psychologist today played a game with him where one makes sentences using

randomly plucked words - he really struggled with it. Apparently, it is to help

him come up with alternatives - flexible thinking.

Miranda

> In our behavior plan she has to earn purchases and priveleges. So on our

weekend camping she kept asking for things from the gift store.

> Which I agreed to if she practiced thinking of things she liked

> about herself etc. She said there is nothing good about me (she always says

that) or there is nothing good about school. I don't

> torture her I help her think of lots of things (which she seems

> relieved by). The school has her in 3 type of social

> skill groups, 1:1, a small girls group and a mixed group.

> This are helpful but don't improve the self esteem issues. She

> has been to weekly therapy too. I also try to give her

> compliments often without having to have her rehearse only.

>

>

> I think this approach has helped us shape behaviors the most.

> It has to be done often. My daughter anyway is too much

> of a perfectionist. She notices the fine details too much

> and misses the big picture. Many ASD kids have this trait.

>

> Pam