new to it all and can use some support

[Guest guest]

Hi. My name's Deirdre. I have a 12-year-old daughter who was just diagnosed by a

developmental pediatrician with Asperger Syndrome. We have always known she was

unique and had some major challenges, but we homeschooled until this year, and

doctors and other experts always downplayed my worries, so we just got by in

parenting her by winging it. It was just this past year when she started seeing

a therapist and then started school and saw the school psychologist as well that

we started figuring out what was going on.

Has anyone else found out this late? I'm feeling guilty for not figuring this

out earlier and being able to help her earlier. I know guilt isn't helpful, but

it's there. I'm also finding that a lot of the information out there is geared

toward parents of younger kids or for parents who've known for a while and

already have some routines in place.

I am having a lot of trouble handling this because my older daughter developed

anorexia last spring and we have all been very busy and stressed dealing with

that. I know that the asperger diagnosis probably doesn't really change anything

except for the better (she is the same person -- now we have ideas on how to

help her), but I am just overwhelmed because I have so much research and reading

and supporting and cooking and feeding and doctor-visiting, etc. to do for my

other daughter, and I have so little room and energy left to do the extra

reading and researching and changing things in our life to help my asperger

daughter.

What pushed me to find you tonight is that she just got her period. She didn't

tell me, because she is so uncomfortable talking about anything " embarrassing, "

so I found out by finding blood around the house. I am going to have to talk to

her in the morning and am dreading it because if her reaction is anything like

it is when we have to bring up her bedwetting, it's going to be rough. I just

wish I were better prepared and didn't have a life-threatening mental illness

(anorexia) that I was also having to deal with.

I am usually really good at finding books and websites and other resources for

help, but I am really hoping in my situation that someone here can point me in

the right direction for my situation -- a girl, diagnosed late, with asperger

syndrome, maybe some info on menstruation, maybe some on bedwetting.