Homework

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/27/2007 5:44:13 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

@... writes:

just had to show the steps to the 1st problem and then he

could write the answers to the others.

This is a great idea! Thanks...

~~Lori

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to

God.

************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/27/2007 5:44:13 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

@... writes:

just had to show the steps to the 1st problem and then he

could write the answers to the others.

This is a great idea! Thanks...

~~Lori

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to

God.

************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/28/2007 10:10:44 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

RHelinski@... writes:

And then the

math - " I don't GET it!! What does GREATEST mean?!! " - ME: " it means

bigger

than " HIM: " But what does it MEAN!! " - and yes, after we have both been

reduced to tearsand screaming

,

Maybe I should give you my phone number and we can cry about it together

LOL. This is exactly what I mean. The teachers act like this is so odd, that

my child is a disruption and " bad " or something. They would never say that,

but if I get that impression, won't my daughter?

My dd has always been very cheerful to other people. She is an extrovert

(very odd for me, being introverted to a fault) and usually smiles and wants to

talk your head off about school, life, etc (recall, she is 9). yesterday my

FIL was here and asked her how school was going (they have NO clue about any

of this) and she said " HORRIBLE " . She has never said anything like that

before. I just gave her that " I understand " smile quietly. My FIL didn't think

anything of it (I mean, what kid likes school? well, my dd used to).

We have been putting off an IEP conference until after the Dr appt but I am

not sure how much longer I can wait. She was very stressed out last night

(too much to do) and while she did pretty good on her homework this time (no

tantrums) she had other things she needed to do. She was overwhelmed and

yelling

" I have too much to do! " and generally causing a scene. The thing is, I

know EXACTLY how she feels and often yell, too (I try to do it when no one is

home). You think you can handle what you have to do then something unexpected

is thrown into the mix and it is the proverbial straw. So when she started to

melt down, I told her I understand her frustration and to calm down that I

would walk her through what she needed to do. First, we organized our thoughts:

There are 3 categories of things to do...cleaning up my mess, folding my

clothes, and homework. Well she had finished the homework itself but left it

lying on the table, no name. So we finished the homework issue, making sure we

were 100% done with it (back in bookbag, bookbag where it needs to be for the

next morning, etc.) then we cleaned up the mess, it was not a big deal, just a

few things she left lying around, again checking to make sure it was 100%

done. Those went to her room and then she was able to focus on clothes. But

those 3 things, without that organization were all " TOO MUCH " and cause for

dire

distress. I know with me, I feel like I have forgotten to do something and

knowing it is 100% done is the only way I can move on.

Hopefully I can do similar things to calm her down in the future. I wish

someone would do that for me!

~~Lori

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to

God.

************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com

[Guest guest]

Hi Lori. My son use to have similar issues. The teacher was boss

over me when it came to school work, everything had to be done

exactly like the teacher said. Also, I don't know if this could be

the same kind of thing, but my child couldn't do his math unless he

understood why. How to do it wasn't a problem but if we couldn't

explain why it was done that way he couldn't do the work. He still

struggles with it but has an easier time with excepting that

sometimes in math you just follow the rules because they work and you

don't always have to know why they work.

>

> Let me see if I can explain this. I am trying to figure out if

this is OCD

> or something else. Before I explain, let me say this problem JUST

started and

> that ,until this school year, it was not an issue. So I am

considering the

> teacher has something to do with it?

> My dd is in 3rd grade. They have homework. It is only the math

homework that

> stems this (so far). She was in the gifted math program last year

because

> she scores way above average on math. Now all the sudden, she

doesn't seem to

> be able to comprehend it? But it is not quite that...here is what

happens.

>

> DD: Mom, can you help me with my math?

> Me: Sure honey.

> DD: I don't get what I am supposed to do here.

> Me: Ok, let me look...well it says you should write the problem

out and....

> DD: NO NO NO that is NOT what the teacher said. We do it

differently in

> class!

> Me: Ok, what does your teacher tell you?

> DD: She says we have to make a line and draw an arrow (etc.).

> Me: Ok, then do that.

> DD: But I don't GET it, how am I supposed to DO that?

> Me: Well, just like she showed you in class, let me show you..

> DD: NO NO this is so stupid. It doesn't make any sense.

> Me: Well honey, you just TOLD me how to do it, why can't you do

what you

> just said?

> DD: Because I don't GET it. This is stupid.

> Me: What don't you get?

> DD: What I am supposed to do!

> Me: But you just TOLD me what you are supposed to do.

> DD: But I don't GET it. This is so stupid.

>

> And then it goes on and on in circles until she starts crying,

throws a fit

> or whatever. She can explain it, show me, tell me, but cannot do

it with her

> actual homework. If I tell her to just " do her best " that is no

good. She is

> a perfectionist. she will start crying about getting bad grades

(even tho

> their homework does not even count for a grad) and she will say she

just wants

> to get it right. Sometimes she will get half way through her math

paper before

> suddenly being unable to finish. We call her teacher (we have her

cell number

> and she has said to call as much as we need to) and her teacher

explains it

> to me the same way I explained it to her and the teacher explains

it to her

> the same way again and she then thinks she can do it, only she

starts to them

> starts erasing and goes back to " I don't get it " . Sometimes she

has done

> practically the exact same thing in the previous section of her

paper but they

> change something slightly (like the format) and even tho the way

to solve is

> the same...she just cannot do it.

> Often I throw my hands up in exasperation and tell her just NOT to

do it

> (unacceptable to her) and I will not help her. She yells at me,

won't listen to

> anything I say and seems not to have listened when she asks me how

to do

> something I JUST explained. After the 5th time explaining and the

5th time of her

> interrupting me to tell me I AM WRONG I just quit. I usually end

up yelling

> at her and regretting it, telling her she needs to LISTEN to me,

why ask for

> my help if she won't listen? I am in tears, she is in tears and the

homework

> is not done. Then after a few minutes...she quietly completes the

paper as if

> she always knew how to do it.

> What IS this?? It seems, on the surface, as just a way of getting

my

> attention, but it is too complicated, the tears are very genuine

and the frustration

> is, too. Looking from an OCD perspective (recall we have not had a

diagnosis

> yet) I see her obsessing with having to have it exactly right, but

I don't

> understand why she says she doesn't " get it " . I know she knows it,

it is like

> she is unable to proceed for some reason. She needs an impossible

amount of

> reassurance she is going to do it correctly. She ALWAYS has me

check all her

> work. I am to the point now I fear pointing out an error because of

her

> reaction.

> I end practically every night saying to my husband (in private) " I

cannot do

> this. I am not going to survive this. " He asked me if I scheduled

MY

> appointment for after hers LOL.

> These things are so hard to explain to people, how am I ever going

to convey

> the problem when we get to the appt? I have tried to write a list

and

> simplify it but there seems to be no way to.

>

> ~~Lori

>

> Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the

rest to

> God.

>

>

>

>

> ************************************** See what's new at

http://www.aol.com

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I can understand the need to know why. I'm one of those people who has to

understand a

situation and solution before I put effort into doing the work. To be told that

I need to

solve a problem in a certain way just because " that's the way it's done " would

feel

patronizing and dimissive of my need for understanding. I can see this being

frustrating

for a child in school. Math isn't magical, it is logical...there are very good

reasons for why

math works the way it does. Why can't they be taught reason why, or at least be

able to

argue for their own way of doing the work?

>

> Hi Lori. My son use to have similar issues. The teacher was boss

> over me when it came to school work, everything had to be done

> exactly like the teacher said. Also, I don't know if this could be

> the same kind of thing, but my child couldn't do his math unless he

> understood why. How to do it wasn't a problem but if we couldn't

> explain why it was done that way he couldn't do the work. He still

> struggles with it but has an easier time with excepting that

> sometimes in math you just follow the rules because they work and you

> don't always have to know why they work.

>

>

[Guest guest]

I second this. I can't remember something if I don't understand it. I

have a math degree because I can understand it, but grammar remains a

mystery to me, I can't seem to hold onto the rules, they don't seem

to follow a pattern I can see. They should be able to teach why the

math rule is, but my experience with elementary math teachers is that

many of them don't know why, they just know the rule.

>

> I can understand the need to know why. I'm one of those people who

has to understand a

> situation and solution before I put effort into doing the work. To

be told that I need to

> solve a problem in a certain way just because " that's the way it's

done " would feel

> patronizing and dimissive of my need for understanding. I can see

this being frustrating

> for a child in school. Math isn't magical, it is logical...there

are very good reasons for why

> math works the way it does. Why can't they be taught reason why, or

at least be able to

> argue for their own way of doing the work?

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hmmm...I disagree a bit. I think it must depend on

what state and district you attend. I teach

elementary math....and we teach the concept first. In

fact, we get parent complaints when they just want

their child to " know the fact " vs " understand the

fact " ...because that is how most of us adults were

taught (just learning the rule, just regurgitating the

fact).

Southern California

--- citymomgina <gwrigh7@...> wrote:

> I second this. I can't remember something if I don't

> understand it. I

> have a math degree because I can understand it, but

> grammar remains a

> mystery to me, I can't seem to hold onto the rules,

> they don't seem

> to follow a pattern I can see. They should be able

> to teach why the

> math rule is, but my experience with elementary math

> teachers is that

> many of them don't know why, they just know the

> rule.

>

>

> >

> > I can understand the need to know why. I'm one of

> those people who

> has to understand a

> > situation and solution before I put effort into

> doing the work. To

> be told that I need to

> > solve a problem in a certain way just because

> " that's the way it's

> done " would feel

> > patronizing and dimissive of my need for

> understanding. I can see

> this being frustrating

> > for a child in school. Math isn't magical, it is

> logical...there

> are very good reasons for why

> > math works the way it does. Why can't they be

> taught reason why, or

> at least be able to

> > argue for their own way of doing the work?

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

Tonight's top picks. What will you watch tonight? Preview the hottest shows on

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[Guest guest]

I found for myself, and told my sons, don't try to understand math

and the *why* it's done this way/works - just learn the steps to get

the answer. Like with dividing fractions, for example.

>

> > I second this. I can't remember something if I don't

> > understand it. I

> > have a math degree because I can understand it, but

[Guest guest]

I found for myself, and told my sons, don't try to understand math

and the *why* it's done this way/works - just learn the steps to get

the answer. Like with dividing fractions, for example.

>

> > I second this. I can't remember something if I don't

> > understand it. I

> > have a math degree because I can understand it, but

[Guest guest]

I remember spending the first few weeks of my college Economics class learning

the hows & whys of addition, subtraction, multiplication & division. (I still

struggled with the class, though -- just could NOT get that Keynesian model to

work!)

P.

Boothe <cricketdo@...> wrote:

Hmmm...I disagree a bit. I think it must depend on

what state and district you attend. I teach

elementary math....and we teach the concept first. In

fact, we get parent complaints when they just want

their child to " know the fact " vs " understand the

fact " ...because that is how most of us adults were

taught (just learning the rule, just regurgitating the

fact).

Southern California

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[Guest guest]

There has to be a balance in education for those who are strong in math and

those who

are not. If a child has an exceptional ability and has a need to learn the hows

and whys,

then they need to be supported in that as much as the child who just needs to

know the

basic rules.

> > >

> > > I can understand the need to know why. I'm one of

> > those people who

> > has to understand a

> > > situation and solution before I put effort into

> > doing the work. To

> > be told that I need to

> > > solve a problem in a certain way just because

> > " that's the way it's

> > done " would feel

> > > patronizing and dimissive of my need for

> > understanding. I can see

> > this being frustrating

> > > for a child in school. Math isn't magical, it is

> > logical...there

> > are very good reasons for why

> > > math works the way it does. Why can't they be

> > taught reason why, or

> > at least be able to

> > > argue for their own way of doing the work?

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

> Tonight's top picks. What will you watch tonight? Preview the hottest shows on

TV.

> http://tv./

>

[Guest guest]

There has to be a balance in education for those who are strong in math and

those who

are not. If a child has an exceptional ability and has a need to learn the hows

and whys,

then they need to be supported in that as much as the child who just needs to

know the

basic rules.

> > >

> > > I can understand the need to know why. I'm one of

> > those people who

> > has to understand a

> > > situation and solution before I put effort into

> > doing the work. To

> > be told that I need to

> > > solve a problem in a certain way just because

> > " that's the way it's

> > done " would feel

> > > patronizing and dimissive of my need for

> > understanding. I can see

> > this being frustrating

> > > for a child in school. Math isn't magical, it is

> > logical...there

> > are very good reasons for why

> > > math works the way it does. Why can't they be

> > taught reason why, or

> > at least be able to

> > > argue for their own way of doing the work?

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

> Tonight's top picks. What will you watch tonight? Preview the hottest shows on

TV.

> http://tv./

>

[Guest guest]

So it is the second week of school and the first day of homework. It was not a

good afternoon, he got home and lost his mind . He refused to do his homework

and tore up papers threw a stool and was just angry. I gave him and me a break

because I felt so angry / then i called him back out andgot him to do ten min

and gave him another break because he got whiney and angry again/ then we

started againand he just lost it tore up every paper i gave him , saying he

couldnt do it, i walked out of the room to cool down when i went back in he was

sobbing and couldnt talk/ finally calmed him down after thirty min and got half

of his homework done by the end of the night/my dh says whatever i want to do

but that just makes it worse. I dont know what to do we cant go thru this every

day i start back to school next week and i am scared/ i feel so alone, does

anyone have any ideas on what to do/ desperate m moody

[Guest guest]

this is my son also.....

From: maddness2407 <maddness2407@...>Subject: ( ) Homework Date: Monday, August 9, 2010, 9:54 PM

So it is the second week of school and the first day of homework. It was not a good afternoon, he got home and lost his mind . He refused to do his homework and tore up papers threw a stool and was just angry. I gave him and me a break because I felt so angry / then i called him back out andgot him to do ten min and gave him another break because he got whiney and angry again/ then we started againand he just lost it tore up every paper i gave him , saying he couldnt do it, i walked out of the room to cool down when i went back in he was sobbing and couldnt talk/ finally calmed him down after thirty min and got half of his homework done by the end of the night/my dh says whatever i want to do but that just makes it worse. I dont know what to do we cant go thru this every day i start back to school next week and i am scared/ i feel so alone, does anyone have any ideas on what to do/ desperate m

moody ------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Something we started with my son when he was younger and having trouble staying focused on homework would be a back and/or neck rub for 5 minutes or so while he was working. Whenever he'd start to get antsy/fidgety, I'd rub his back/shoulders while he worked and it helped him get through it so he could keep on working. Sometimes we'd have to do it lots of times before he was done with his work, especially as he got older and he had more homework, but it sure helped. Nowadays (he's 14), if he needs the help, he'll ask you to rub his back when he starts to struggle. I'll take that as progress!

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: maddness2407 <maddness2407@...> Sent: Mon, August 9, 2010 8:54:33 PMSubject: ( ) Homework

So it is the second week of school and the first day of homework. It was not a good afternoon, he got home and lost his mind . He refused to do his homework and tore up papers threw a stool and was just angry. I gave him and me a break because I felt so angry / then i called him back out andgot him to do ten min and gave him another break because he got whiney and angry again/ then we started againand he just lost it tore up every paper i gave him , saying he couldnt do it, i walked out of the room to cool down when i went back in he was sobbing and couldnt talk/ finally calmed him down after thirty min and got half of his homework done by the end of the night/my dh says whatever i want to do but that just makes it worse. I dont know what to do we cant go thru this every day i start back to school next week and i am scared/ i feel so alone, does anyone have any ideas on what to do/ desperate m moody

[Guest guest]

I am facing this and I would like you to consider something based on my situation. My IEP team doesn't want to consider how after school behavior is affecting my boy. When I tell them he hides in his room and is not emotionally available to attend after school activities, they say, " but we don't see that here at school. " I work long hours to help him with homework and sometimes would even do his writing while he dictates to me. NO MORE. I have to let the school see that he's not producing homework and I will no longer do supermom things to let the school see accomplished homework. They need to see more of what the functional skills issues are for my boy and how my son shuts down with one trigger being homework!!!!!!!!

 

What I suggest for you assuming you have an IEP is to talk with your son and tell him that you're only going to have him do as much homework as he can do--period. When your son hits that breaking point tell him he's finished. (Do you have an inkling if the material is too hard or what the issue is?) You need to write the teacher a note telling her the issues that happened that day and make a copy of the homework (to show what he was and wasn't able to complete) and your note to the teacher for your file. If the teacher prefers email, then go that way. Get enough of these and then call an emergency IEP meeting to address your son's inability to do homework and to address his meltdowns in being unable to cope with the homework. Don't let them just give you modified or reduced numbers of homework. Sounds like your son may be having problems with the content. Find out first what the actual problem is before you just let them reduce the # of problems.

 

Start your paper trail NOW if you havent' already. You have to make sure you're engaging in dialogue with the school in this paper trail, btw. Don't be afraid of standing out--this is about your boy--and this has to be done. Start this NOW!! Btw, when you get the IEP mtg. make sure you bring all the homework copies and notes to the teachers and their responses!!

On Mon, Aug 9, 2010 at 9:54 PM, maddness2407 <maddness2407@...> wrote:

 

So it is the second week of school and the first day of homework. It was not a good afternoon, he got home and lost his mind . He refused to do his homework and tore up papers threw a stool and was just angry. I gave him and me a break because I felt so angry / then i called him back out andgot him to do ten min and gave him another break because he got whiney and angry again/ then we started againand he just lost it tore up every paper i gave him , saying he couldnt do it, i walked out of the room to cool down when i went back in he was sobbing and couldnt talk/ finally calmed him down after thirty min and got half of his homework done by the end of the night/my dh says whatever i want to do but that just makes it worse. I dont know what to do we cant go thru this every day i start back to school next week and i am scared/ i feel so alone, does anyone have any ideas on what to do/ desperate m moody

[Guest guest]

Hugs to you, Jan.

It seems you're on the low end of the roller coaster ride right now. It amazes me how one moment, we are giving encouragement and even advice at times and then the next post,,,,we'll,,,,,we're bawling our eyes out.Don't his teachers make sure his homework gets INTO his class? Ugh.

Sorry........

Attack and enjoy every minute of life.

Try everything.....protect everything.

Robin

From: maddness2407 <maddness2407>Subject: ( ) Homework Date: Monday, August 9, 2010, 9:54 PM

So it is the second week of school and the first day of homework. It was not a good afternoon, he got home and lost his mind . He refused to do his homework and tore up papers threw a stool and was just angry. I gave him and me a break because I felt so angry / then i called him back out andgot him to do ten min and gave him another break because he got whiney and angry again/ then we started againand he just lost it tore up every paper i gave him , saying he couldnt do it, i walked out of the room to cool down when i went back in he was sobbing and couldnt talk/ finally calmed him down after thirty min and got half of his homework done by the end of the night/my dh says whatever i want to do but that just makes it worse. I dont know what to do we cant go thru this every day i start back to school next week and i am scared/ i feel so alone, does anyone have any ideas on what to do/

desperate m moody ------------ --------- --------- ------

[Guest guest]

I know I've said this before, but I sure wish we all lived in a commune somewhere......together.

Sigh.

Attack and enjoy every minute of life.

Try everything.....protect everything.

Robin

From: maddness2407 <maddness2407>Subject: ( ) Homework Date: Monday, August 9, 2010, 9:54 PM

So it is the second week of school and the first day of homework. It was not a good afternoon, he got home and lost his mind . He refused to do his homework and tore up papers threw a stool and was just angry. I gave him and me a break because I felt so angry / then i called him back out andgot him to do ten min and gave him another break because he got whiney and angry again/ then we started againand he just lost it tore up every paper i gave him , saying he couldnt do it, i walked out of the room to cool down when i went back in he was sobbing and couldnt talk/ finally calmed him down after thirty min and got half of his homework done by the end of the night/my dh says whatever i want to do but that just makes it worse. I dont know what to do we cant go thru this every day i start back to school next week and i am scared/ i feel so alone, does anyone have any ideas on

what to do/ desperate m moody ------------ --------- --------- ------

[Guest guest]

Not always...they think he should be capable of handing it in himself or he will lie and say it is in his locker. I wish they had no homework. Math homework he usually gets done in school.

My biggest thing right now is that he doesn't talk to us. He is so "secretive" and shuts himself in his room. He sleeps in very late sometimes till 3 pm...and then gets up showers and either his friend comes down or he goes up there. But thinking back over this summer he has not gone many places. He won't go to the swimpark with us. He doesn't want to do anything really. He wants friends and has 3 good friends...but I think he just had a fight with one and one just went back to college. So he mopes all day and/or sleeps. If I ask him something he either gives me a angry look or growls at me....you know barks a reply.

I know he is stressed about school starting, his good "big brother" just left for college and he has to testify in a court hearing (which was postponed 3 times). But, I feel like I don't even have a son anymore. I don't know what to do. He won't eat with us or do anything with us. He shuts himself away ....his friends (3 ) are more important than us.

He is 14 ...going on 15 in Oct. and people tell me this is typical teenage behavior. But I don't remember being so moody or touchy or angry as much as he is. Maybe it is all this facebook stuff/social stuff and all. I don't want to pry into his life...which he thinks I am...I told him I am just worried about him. My husband told him that he is really hurting us. And, he is. Tonight we ate no dinner. Both my husband and I felt sick over the situation. I am worried I may have to send him somewhere to work on his depression.

Well, thank you all for listening....and yes...my roller coaster ride at the very bottom of the loop.

jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...> Sent: Wed, August 11, 2010 9:15:34 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Homework

Hugs to you, Jan.

It seems you're on the low end of the roller coaster ride right now. It amazes me how one moment, we are giving encouragement and even advice at times and then the next post,,,,we'll, ,,,,we're bawling our eyes out.Don't his teachers make sure his homework gets INTO his class? Ugh.

Sorry....... .

Attack and enjoy every minute of life.

Try everything.. ...protect everything.

Robin

From: maddness2407 <maddness2407>Subject: ( ) Homework Date: Monday, August 9, 2010, 9:54 PM

So it is the second week of school and the first day of homework. It was not a good afternoon, he got home and lost his mind . He refused to do his homework and tore up papers threw a stool and was just angry. I gave him and me a break because I felt so angry / then i called him back out andgot him to do ten min and gave him another break because he got whiney and angry again/ then we started againand he just lost it tore up every paper i gave him , saying he couldnt do it, i walked out of the room to cool down when i went back in he was sobbing and couldnt talk/ finally calmed him down after thirty min and got half of his homework done by the end of the night/my dh says whatever i want to do but that just makes it worse. I dont know what to do we cant go thru this every day i start back to school next week and i am scared/ i feel so alone, does anyone have any ideas on what to do/

desperate m moody ------------ --------- --------- ------

[Guest guest]

Jan,We had the same thing with schoolwork and my son last year. He would have his work done and just not turn it in. That drove me so crazy. My son is also 14 and will be 15 in august. He was bullied so bad toward the end of the year that he ended up with a hurt knee. We tried to deal with the school, but we were ignored. We finally decided that homeschooling was our answer and we will be starting tomorrow. I feel so much for you. I do have a sense of what you're going through. DS psychiatrist says that puberty is the culprit that has set DS off this time. She increased his lamictal and that has helped tremendously. Haven't had any meltdowns in a week...yeah. We can talk off list if you think it would help. Deanakcp@....Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®From: rushen janice <jrushen@...>Sender: Date: Wed, 11 Aug 2010 20:11:39 -0700 (PDT)< >Reply Subject: Re: ( ) Homework Not always...they think he should be capable of handing it in himself or he will lie and say it is in his locker. I wish they had no homework. Math homework he usually gets done in school. My biggest thing right now is that he doesn't talk to us. He is so "secretive" and shuts himself in his room. He sleeps in very late sometimes till 3 pm...and then gets up showers and either his friend comes down or he goes up there. But thinking back over this summer he has not gone many places. He won't go to the swimpark with us. He doesn't want to do anything really. He wants friends and has 3 good friends...but I think he just had a fight with one and one just went back to college. So he mopes all day and/or sleeps. If I ask him something he either gives me a angry look or growls at me....you know barks a reply. I know he is stressed about school starting, his good "big brother" just left for college and he has to testify in a court hearing (which was postponed 3 times). But, I feel like I don't even have a son anymore. I don't know what to do. He won't eat with us or do anything with us. He shuts himself away ....his friends (3 ) are more important than us. He is 14 ...going on 15 in Oct. and people tell me this is typical teenage behavior. But I don't remember being so moody or touchy or angry as much as he is. Maybe it is all this facebook stuff/social stuff and all. I don't want to pry into his life...which he thinks I am...I told him I am just worried about him. My husband told him that he is really hurting us. And, he is. Tonight we ate no dinner. Both my husband and I felt sick over the situation. I am worried I may have to send him somewhere to work on his depression. Well, thank you all for listening....and yes...my roller coaster ride at the very bottom of the loop. jan "In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that positionFrom: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs > Sent: Wed, August 11, 2010 9:15:34 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Homework Hugs to you, Jan. It seems you're on the low end of the roller coaster ride right now. It amazes me how one moment, we are giving encouragement and even advice at times and then the next post,,,,we'll, ,,,,we're bawling our eyes out.Don't his teachers make sure his homework gets INTO his class? Ugh. Sorry....... .Attack and enjoy every minute of life.Try everything.. ...protect everything. RobinFrom: maddness2407 <maddness2407>Subject: ( ) Homework Date: Monday, August 9, 2010, 9:54 PMSo it is the second week of school and the first day of homework. It was not a good afternoon, he got home and lost his mind . He refused to do his homework and tore up papers threw a stool and was just angry. I gave him and me a break because I felt so angry / then i called him back out andgot him to do ten min and gave him another break because he got whiney and angry again/ then we started againand he just lost it tore up every paper i gave him , saying he couldnt do it, i walked out of the room to cool down when i went back in he was sobbing and couldnt talk/ finally calmed him down after thirty min and got half of his homework done by the end of the night/my dh says whatever i want to do but that just makes it worse. I dont know what to do we cant go thru this every day i start back to school next week and i am scared/ i feel so alone, does anyone have any ideas on what to do/desperate m moody ------------ --------- --------- ------

[Guest guest]

A commune? Wouldn't that be awesome? A whole group of families to live together and support each other. We could let our kids be themselves in a place where people understand. Wow, it would be so nice.SuzanneSent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®From: and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...>Sender: Date: Wed, 11 Aug 2010 18:22:04 -0700 (PDT)< >Reply Subject: Re: ( ) Homework I know I've said this before, but I sure wish we all lived in a commune somewhere......together.Sigh.Attack and enjoy every minute of life.Try everything.....protect everything. RobinFrom: maddness2407 <maddness2407>Subject: ( ) Homework Date: Monday, August 9, 2010, 9:54 PMSo it is the second week of school and the first day of homework. It was not a good afternoon, he got home and lost his mind . He refused to do his homework and tore up papers threw a stool and was just angry. I gave him and me a break because I felt so angry / then i called him back out andgot him to do ten min and gave him another break because he got whiney and angry again/ then we started againand he just lost it tore up every paper i gave him , saying he couldnt do it, i walked out of the room to cool down when i went back in he was sobbing and couldnt talk/ finally calmed him down after thirty min and got half of his homework done by the end of the night/my dh says whatever i want to do but that just makes it worse. I dont know what to do we cant go thru this every day i start back to school next week and i am scared/ i feel so alone, does anyone have any ideas onwhat to do/ desperate m moody ------------ --------- --------- ------