Re: Do your kids Forget?

[Guest guest]

How old is your son? Yes, I have had this issue with my son when he was younger.

You will need to repeat things until they become part of " his " routine. Once he

gets it, then you will be ok. Don't be surprised though if he insists on doing

it the same time each night. My son when he was 7 used to make lists of things

he needed to do that day and what time. At 13, he is still concerned about time

and his lists have now become things to do in the future.

It also has to do with focus. 2 step directions are too much for AS kids to

handle. They need to understand the first step before being told about the 2nd

step. Just keep it simple and you will find out what works best for your son.

Writing on the bath tub wall is a great idea. My son always used to forget to

brush his teeth. Now that it is part of the daily routine, I am working on him

to comb his hair )

Janice in Wisconsin

---- " hmurray2101@... " <hmurray2101@...> wrote:

> So before the diagnosis of AS we had lots of behavioral issues with my son. I

would tell him to do something or not to do something. IF he did opposite of

what I told him I would ask him, " Why did you do that when I told you not to? "

He would say, " I'm sorry I forgot. " I used to think no, you chose to forget,

but you didn't really forget. After the diagnosis of AS and all the research

I've been doing and all the books I've read, I think he really is " forgetting. "

For instance every night when he gets in the bath, if I don't say " Wash your

hair with shampoo and your body with soap. " he won't do it. When he gets out

and his hair is dry and the bar of soap is still dry I ask him why he didn't

bathe right and he said he forgot and I didn't remind him. I found some crayola

bath tub markers at Target so on the front wall of the shower I wrote Wash your

hair with shampoo and wash your body with soap. This works, everytime he gets

in the bath he sees it and doesn't forget. It also saves me from having to say

it every night. This however is just one of the incidents in which he

" forgets. " Does anyone elses children forget things and if they do how do you

deal with it? Thanks for the input!

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------

>

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[Guest guest]

Forgetting!!! Yes, we deal with that everyday. He foregets to wash his hair, use soap when washing hands for dinner, lays a toy down and forgets where he layed it 1 min later, forgets that he needs his shoes tied so he doesn't trip and fall, Forgets the rules. We have to remind him daily of the rules. We use autism pecs. Schedules, Watch sharing and caring movies, We have workbooks on rules and safey. It can get very hard as when u put him in timeout and then u ask him why he is in timeout. Most of the time he will say I don't remember!!! I think some of it is a short attention spanned. He is just ready to go to the next thing and not focus on one thing so long. Also med side effects. He is only 4 turning 5 in october so he age as well. This is def a task that takes a lot of patience and understanding. I wish other understood that and really see that these

kids do have a hard time daily understanding and coping with all that they have too. God Bless and take care

From: hmurray2101@... <hmurray2101@...>Subject: ( ) Do your kids "Forget?" Date: Wednesday, July 22, 2009, 8:05 PM

So before the diagnosis of AS we had lots of behavioral issues with my son. I would tell him to do something or not to do something. IF he did opposite of what I told him I would ask him,"Why did you do that when I told you not to?" He would say, "I'm sorry I forgot." I used to think no, you chose to forget, but you didn't really forget. After the diagnosis of AS and all the research I've been doing and all the books I've read, I think he really is "forgetting. " For instance every night when he gets in the bath, if I don't say "Wash your hair with shampoo and your body with soap." he won't do it. When he gets out and his hair is dry and the bar of soap is still dry I ask him why he didn't bathe right and he said he forgot and I didn't remind him. I found some crayola bath tub markers at Target so on the front wall of the shower I wrote Wash your hair with shampoo and wash your body with soap. This works, everytime he gets in the bath he sees it and

doesn't forget. It also saves me from having to say it every night. This however is just one of the incidents in which he "forgets." Does anyone elses children forget things and if they do how do you deal with it? Thanks for the input!

[Guest guest]

My son forgets everything unless is related to science or gaming. It is very frustrating.

Ide

From: "hmurray2101@..." <hmurray2101@...> Sent: Wednesday, July 22, 2009 10:05:58 PMSubject: ( ) Do your kids "Forget?"

So before the diagnosis of AS we had lots of behavioral issues with my son. I would tell him to do something or not to do something. IF he did opposite of what I told him I would ask him,"Why did you do that when I told you not to?" He would say, "I'm sorry I forgot." I used to think no, you chose to forget, but you didn't really forget. After the diagnosis of AS and all the research I've been doing and all the books I've read, I think he really is "forgetting. " For instance every night when he gets in the bath, if I don't say "Wash your hair with shampoo and your body with soap." he won't do it. When he gets out and his hair is dry and the bar of soap is still dry I ask him why he didn't bathe right and he said he forgot and I didn't remind him. I found some crayola bath tub markers at Target so on the front wall of the shower I wrote Wash your hair with shampoo and wash your body with soap. This works, everytime he gets in the bath he sees it and

doesn't forget. It also saves me from having to say it every night. This however is just one of the incidents in which he "forgets." Does anyone elses children forget things and if they do how do you deal with it? Thanks for the input!

[Guest guest]

My son forgets everything as well. He used to panic and run to me (he was about 4 years old) and cry "where is the bathroom?!" We lived in this house since he was a baby, the bathroom has never changed locations. =) But like the other poster said, it is extremely hard when you put them in time out, tell them why you did, then ask "why are you in time out?" and the response comes tearfully "I don't know/remember". He asks me almost every morning where daddy is. Well, daddy has had the same job for the last 6 years where he gets up and works. LOL!! I don't know why this is so hard to remember. But weekends I think throw him off so it's very hard to think about how confused this poor boy must be. He is a whiz bang at math but reading eludes him. He can't remember how to sound

out cat but has no problem doing subtraction. He has nice handwriting too but somehow the connection hasn't been made that if you know your letters/sounds and can write them, you can read them (that bridge is still being built!) Good luck and don't get too discouraged. It adds a bit to their quirkiness! ConnieFrom: hmurray2101@... <hmurray2101@...>Subject: ( ) Do your kids "Forget?" Date: Wednesday, July 22, 2009, 11:05 PM

So before the diagnosis of AS we had lots of behavioral issues with my son. I would tell him to do something or not to do something. IF he did opposite of what I told him I would ask him,"Why did you do that when I told you not to?" He would say, "I'm sorry I forgot." I used to think no, you chose to forget, but you didn't really forget. After the diagnosis of AS and all the research I've been doing and all the books I've read, I think he really is "forgetting. " For instance every night when he gets in the bath, if I don't say "Wash your hair with shampoo and your body with soap." he won't do it. When he gets out and his hair is dry and the bar of soap is still dry I ask him why he didn't bathe right and he said he forgot and I didn't remind him. I found some crayola bath tub markers at Target so on the front wall of the shower I wrote Wash your hair with shampoo and wash your body with soap. This works, everytime he gets

in the bath he sees it and doesn't forget. It also saves me from having to say it every night. This however is just one of the incidents in which he "forgets." Does anyone elses children forget things and if they do how do you deal with it? Thanks for the input!

[Guest guest]

yes, my daughter and my husband forget in this way. lists work very well. i

am wondering if your aspies also forget what they say. for example my aspie

husband will say " it is time we buy a new car " . and then a day, a week or some

time later he will deny that he said this. in the beginning of the our marriage

it would confuse me but he does this with such regularity, i have learned to not

take things he says seriously until he says them at least 3 or more times. this

can also be true for his actions. i have noticed my 12 yo aspie daughter is

beginning to forget things she says too. anyone else notice this?

regards, melody

>

> So before the diagnosis of AS we had lots of behavioral issues with my son. I

would tell him to do something or not to do something. IF he did opposite of

what I told him I would ask him, " Why did you do that when I told you not to? "

He would say, " I'm sorry I forgot. " I used to think no, you chose to forget,

but you didn't really forget. After the diagnosis of AS and all the research

I've been doing and all the books I've read, I think he really is " forgetting. "

For instance every night when he gets in the bath, if I don't say " Wash your

hair with shampoo and your body with soap. " he won't do it. When he gets out

and his hair is dry and the bar of soap is still dry I ask him why he didn't

bathe right and he said he forgot and I didn't remind him. I found some crayola

bath tub markers at Target so on the front wall of the shower I wrote Wash your

hair with shampoo and wash your body with soap. This works, everytime he gets

in the bath he sees it and doesn't forget. It also saves me from having to say

it every night. This however is just one of the incidents in which he

" forgets. " Does anyone elses children forget things and if they do how do you

deal with it? Thanks for the input!

>

[Guest guest]

Yes. My AS son seems to remember if you remind him of the incident. This happens

especially when he gets mad. He will remember what happens after, but not before

or during the mad episode.

I have made a habit of when I pick him up from the ex's house, to ask what did

you do today and such. Yes, he does not like it sometimes but I have noticed

that it helps him stay focused and concentrated on what he is doing that day.

Janice in Wisconsin

---- Melody <mkalomiris@...> wrote:

> yes, my daughter and my husband forget in this way. lists work very well. i

am wondering if your aspies also forget what they say. for example my aspie

husband will say " it is time we buy a new car " . and then a day, a week or some

time later he will deny that he said this. in the beginning of the our marriage

it would confuse me but he does this with such regularity, i have learned to not

take things he says seriously until he says them at least 3 or more times. this

can also be true for his actions. i have noticed my 12 yo aspie daughter is

beginning to forget things she says too. anyone else notice this?

>

> regards, melody

>

>

>

> >

> > So before the diagnosis of AS we had lots of behavioral issues with my son.

I would tell him to do something or not to do something. IF he did opposite of

what I told him I would ask him, " Why did you do that when I told you not to? "

He would say, " I'm sorry I forgot. " I used to think no, you chose to forget,

but you didn't really forget. After the diagnosis of AS and all the research

I've been doing and all the books I've read, I think he really is " forgetting. "

For instance every night when he gets in the bath, if I don't say " Wash your

hair with shampoo and your body with soap. " he won't do it. When he gets out

and his hair is dry and the bar of soap is still dry I ask him why he didn't

bathe right and he said he forgot and I didn't remind him. I found some crayola

bath tub markers at Target so on the front wall of the shower I wrote Wash your

hair with shampoo and wash your body with soap. This works, everytime he gets

in the bath he sees it and doesn't forget. It also saves me from having to say

it every night. This however is just one of the incidents in which he

" forgets. " Does anyone elses children forget things and if they do how do you

deal with it? Thanks for the input!

> >

>

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------

>

>

[Guest guest]

>

> So before the diagnosis of AS we had lots of behavioral issues with my son. I

would tell him to do something or not to do something. IF he did opposite of

what I told him I would ask him, " Why did you do that when I told you not to? "

He would say, " I'm sorry I forgot. "

We had to teach our son to use lists, we have to prompt him, and we over-explain

things since things that are obvious to us are not to him. Using lists has not

come naturally for him and we've really had to work with him. It was a lot of

work at first because he would be easily confused and made angry if the list did

not exactly match reality, i.e., if it was missing details that other people

took for granted but he did not. It is hard to figure out what he needs. With

everyday lists he had problems if it was appropriate to skip items some days or

add a thing or two another day. He gets promptings at school for everyday

instructions that the other kids generalize from day to day but he does not.

Like if they are supposed to check the board for assignments every day as they

enter class, write down their homework assignment and start working on class

assignments--he has to prompted every day or he " forgets " . He gets angry if he

is chastised but " nobody told me " . He is 14 and going into high school next

year, and the school is hoping to wean him off the promptings with him learning

how to keep written lists better and remember to look at them. Not sure if he

is ready for that even now, but we will see. His progress on this type of stuff

at home is very slow. He gets embarrassed and shuts down if it isn't handled

with subtlety, so it is hard to find ways to work on it.

[Guest guest]

Hi,my son forgets alot i thougth it was because his mind is so busy,i can tell him to do something and start to talk to him and he gets into what i am saying and forgets.I work with him alot with reminders.

From: r_woman2 <me2ruth@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Do your kids "Forget?" Date: Thursday, July 23, 2009, 3:15 PM

>> So before the diagnosis of AS we had lots of behavioral issues with my son. I would tell him to do something or not to do something. IF he did opposite of what I told him I would ask him,"Why did you do that when I told you not to?" He would say, "I'm sorry I forgot." We had to teach our son to use lists, we have to prompt him, and we over-explain things since things that are obvious to us are not to him. Using lists has not come naturally for him and we've really had to work with him. It was a lot of work at first because he would be easily confused and made angry if the list did not exactly match reality, i.e., if it was missing details that other people took

for granted but he did not. It is hard to figure out what he needs. With everyday lists he had problems if it was appropriate to skip items some days or add a thing or two another day. He gets promptings at school for everyday instructions that the other kids generalize from day to day but he does not. Like if they are supposed to check the board for assignments every day as they enter class, write down their homework assignment and start working on class assignments- -he has to prompted every day or he "forgets". He gets angry if he is chastised but "nobody told me". He is 14 and going into high school next year, and the school is hoping to wean him off the promptings with him learning how to keep written lists better and remember to look at them. Not sure if he is ready for that even now, but we will see. His progress on this type of stuff at home is very slow. He gets embarrassed and shuts down if it isn't handled with subtlety, so it is hard to find

ways to work on it.

[Guest guest]

This is a funny story of forgetting and lists and reminders to the extreme. DS,

25, forgets so many things I couldn't list them here. He's just getting thru

with school and looking for job and is at home. This past Monday night he

actually had a date, first time in a LONG time. I found a post-it note he'd

written to himself to " call movies, get time and price, " and underneath that was

" kiss her goodnight. "

Too funny, so typical!

Sue in TN

> >

> > So before the diagnosis of AS we had lots of behavioral issues with my son.

I would tell him to do something or not to do something. IF he did opposite of

what I told him I would ask him, " Why did you do that when I told you not to? "

He would say, " I'm sorry I forgot. "

>

> We had to teach our son to use lists, we have to prompt him, and we

over-explain things since things that are obvious to us are not to him. Using

lists has not come naturally for him and we've really had to work with him. It

was a lot of work at first because he would be easily confused and made angry if

the list did not exactly match reality, i.e., if it was missing details that

other people took for granted but he did not. It is hard to figure out what he

needs. With everyday lists he had problems if it was appropriate to skip items

some days or add a thing or two another day. He gets promptings at school for

everyday instructions that the other kids generalize from day to day but he does

not. Like if they are supposed to check the board for assignments every day as

they enter class, write down their homework assignment and start working on

class assignments--he has to prompted every day or he " forgets " . He gets angry

if he is chastised but " nobody told me " . He is 14 and going into high school

next year, and the school is hoping to wean him off the promptings with him

learning how to keep written lists better and remember to look at them. Not

sure if he is ready for that even now, but we will see. His progress on this

type of stuff at home is very slow. He gets embarrassed and shuts down if it

isn't handled with subtlety, so it is hard to find ways to work on it.

>

[Guest guest]

That's cute!

From: carolynsuelowerychattanooga <sue@...> Sent: Friday, July 24, 2009 6:48:59 AMSubject: ( ) Re: Do your kids "Forget?"

This is a funny story of forgetting and lists and reminders to the extreme. DS, 25, forgets so many things I couldn't list them here. He's just getting thru with school and looking for job and is at home. This past Monday night he actually had a date, first time in a LONG time. I found a post-it note he'd written to himself to "call movies, get time and price," and underneath that was "kiss her goodnight." Too funny, so typical!Sue in TN> >> > So before the

diagnosis of AS we had lots of behavioral issues with my son. I would tell him to do something or not to do something. IF he did opposite of what I told him I would ask him,"Why did you do that when I told you not to?" He would say, "I'm sorry I forgot." > > We had to teach our son to use lists, we have to prompt him, and we over-explain things since things that are obvious to us are not to him. Using lists has not come naturally for him and we've really had to work with him. It was a lot of work at first because he would be easily confused and made angry if the list did not exactly match reality, i.e., if it was missing details that other people took for granted but he did not. It is hard to figure out what he needs. With everyday lists he had problems if it was appropriate to skip items some days or add a thing or two another day. He gets promptings at school for everyday instructions that the other kids generalize from day to day but he

does not. Like if they are supposed to check the board for assignments every day as they enter class, write down their homework assignment and start working on class assignments- -he has to prompted every day or he "forgets".. He gets angry if he is chastised but "nobody told me". He is 14 and going into high school next year, and the school is hoping to wean him off the promptings with him learning how to keep written lists better and remember to look at them. Not sure if he is ready for that even now, but we will see. His progress on this type of stuff at home is very slow. He gets embarrassed and shuts down if it isn't handled with subtlety, so it is hard to find ways to work on it.>

[Guest guest]

Sue, Very funny. Thanks for sharing!

Vickie

> > >

> > > So before the diagnosis of AS we had lots of behavioral issues with my

son. I would tell him to do something or not to do something. IF he did

opposite of what I told him I would ask him, " Why did you do that when I told you

not to? " He would say, " I'm sorry I forgot. "

> >

> > We had to teach our son to use lists, we have to prompt him, and we

over-explain things since things that are obvious to us are not to him. Using

lists has not come naturally for him and we've really had to work with him. It

was a lot of work at first because he would be easily confused and made angry if

the list did not exactly match reality, i.e., if it was missing details that

other people took for granted but he did not. It is hard to figure out what he

needs. With everyday lists he had problems if it was appropriate to skip items

some days or add a thing or two another day. He gets promptings at school for

everyday instructions that the other kids generalize from day to day but he does

not. Like if they are supposed to check the board for assignments every day as

they enter class, write down their homework assignment and start working on

class assignments--he has to prompted every day or he " forgets " . He gets angry

if he is chastised but " nobody told me " . He is 14 and going into high school

next year, and the school is hoping to wean him off the promptings with him

learning how to keep written lists better and remember to look at them. Not

sure if he is ready for that even now, but we will see. His progress on this

type of stuff at home is very slow. He gets embarrassed and shuts down if it

isn't handled with subtlety, so it is hard to find ways to work on it.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

omgosh so funny! From: carolynsuelowerychattanooga <sue@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Do your kids "Forget?" Date: Friday, July 24, 2009, 9:48 AM

This is a funny story of forgetting and lists and reminders to the extreme. DS, 25, forgets so many things I couldn't list them here. He's just getting thru with school and looking for job and is at home. This past Monday night he actually had a date, first time in a LONG time. I found a post-it note he'd written to himself to "call movies, get time and price," and underneath that was "kiss her goodnight."

Too funny, so typical!

Sue in TN

> >

> > So before the diagnosis of AS we had lots of behavioral issues with my son. I would tell him to do something or not to do something. IF he did opposite of what I told him I would ask him,"Why did you do that when I told you not to?" He would say, "I'm sorry I forgot."

>

> We had to teach our son to use lists, we have to prompt him, and we over-explain things since things that are obvious to us are not to him. Using lists has not come naturally for him and we've really had to work with him. It was a lot of work at first because he would be easily confused and made angry if the list did not exactly match reality, i.e., if it was missing details that other people took for granted but he did not. It is hard to figure out what he needs. With everyday lists he had problems if it was appropriate to skip items some days or add a thing or two another day. He gets promptings at school for everyday instructions that the other kids generalize from day to day but he does not. Like if they are supposed to check the board for assignments every day as they enter class, write down their homework assignment and start working on class assignments- -he has to prompted every day or he "forgets". He gets angry if he is chastised

but "nobody told me". He is 14 and going into high school next year, and the school is hoping to wean him off the promptings with him learning how to keep written lists better and remember to look at them. Not sure if he is ready for that even now, but we will see. His progress on this type of stuff at home is very slow. He gets embarrassed and shuts down if it isn't handled with subtlety, so it is hard to find ways to work on it.

>