Don't Forget the Positives - great newsletter article from Social Perspectives..

[Guest guest]

From the Social Perspectives newsletter...this is good advice! I've done this

with my son quite a bunch since 4th grade and he's really responded to it...easy

to overlook it though. Scroll all the way down to the end for info on how to get

the newsletter sent directly to you.

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Often times when someone puts a great deal of effort into a task or activity,

they reap immediate rewards and/or reinforcements. Think about it. Working on

and learning academic tasks results in good grades and recognition from parents

and teachers. Performing or engaging in the arts results in compliments and

references by others. Excelling in a sporting event may lead to a team or

individual win or record. All of these things take effort and practice to

refine over time.

Social skills are assumed present in people. Many kids and adults really

struggle on a consistent basis to be successful in social situations, yet don't

often recognize or understand the natural consequences or " rewards " . Though

they may struggle their hardest just to " fit in " and seem to be a typical member

of a social interaction, rarely does anyone say " gee, that was an awesome

conversation you just had " .

Sometimes we tend to focus on the deficits and therefore our reinforcement for

behaviors and application of strategies and concepts leans on the side of

improving or increasing social interaction. What about the day to day positive

things that are occurring. People need to be reinforced for what they do well,

not just the areas in need of improvement.

All strategies and ideas taught to increase social interaction should not just

address areas of need or explore difficult situations, but should also highlight

and praise the positives that each individual possesses, even if those

interactions seem very " typical " and " appropriate " in comparison to peers.

Often it takes extra energy and concentration just to get by without standing

out.

So if you are utilizing Social Stories or Comic Strip Conversations (Carol

Gray), Expected/Unexpected Behaviors ( Winner) or any other

taught strategies, be sure to also continue to use these to examine the areas

where the individual is successful and acknowledge the effort and success that

they are having. For example, use Social Stories to highlight areas of strength

or even typical social behaviors that a child generally does fine with. Point

out all of the " Expected " behaviors as well as how others feel, even if it isn't

anything normally considered exceptionally great. Don't just focus on examining

the difficult areas….use the proven strategies to examine areas of success as

well. We all want to be acknowledged for things in which we put forth great

effort, no matter how " average " .

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