Re: update on bus driver issue, meeting

[Guest guest]

The meeting went very very well this morning. The meeting started with me

telling my understanding of things. Of course I'm an amazing diplomat so we got

a good start. I don't want to ignore if has made a mistake or said things

that sound impolite because I want to teach him the right way. But I also made

it clear that was distressed and so was I. said, " I don't think the

bus driver likes me. " That was the first thing he said to me. Then I told all

the things I knew and made suggestions about what might have happened and things

that I thought might have made feel bad and things that might have made the

driver feel bad. 's guidance counselor then coached him through telling

things in his own perspective and did a GREAT job. He also seemed to be in

agreement with most of what I said. I only had to remind him once or twice that

it was another person's turn and didn't get angry or impulsive. We talked

about things that the driver could expect from and explained that will

get a phrase in his head and use it and not really KNOW that it's mean or

threatening. Apparently, said, " It would be in your best interest to turn

off the music. " To the bus driver. and the driver were in agreement that

this is what was said. So then it was a matter of helping understand that

this is something someone might find threatening and helping the driver learn

ways to handle it when says something that seems off. I suggested asking

to try to say it in a nicer way. He responds to that very favorably. If

the driver said, " can you try to say that in a nicer way? " I think would

work on it. I also pointed out to the driver that telling he would " put it

on report " might be something didn't understand and that he might feel

threatened by it. I suggested the driver say, " I think we need to talk to your

mom about it. " I'm going to start coming out to the bus every day to find out

how things are going so that I know. I haven't gotten any reports all year but

apparently things have been bad all year. I made sure EVERYONE knew that it was

miraculous didn't hit anyone in all of this and that we really should give

him credit for the AMAZING progress he's made. The driver said he will turn

down the music if it is bothering and we've suggested to that he say,

" the music is hurting my ears " instead of " TURN OFF THE MUSIC " . We talked about

the fact that if the driver suggested might not be able to take the bus any

more that he might think it meant being " thrown off the bus " literally.

said, " I didn't think THAT! " LOL. Anyway, I don't know what the driver said

about throwing off the bus, we may never know exactly what was said. The

driver was a little defensive at first, but could see I was willing to talk and

work rather than point fingers. If he's a decent guy, and the school staff

think he is, then he'll work with us rather than against us.

[Guest guest]

The bus comes right to our house so I always watch out the front window. It's a

long driveway, though. But I don't mind going out to the bus and the driver

suggested it as a way to communicate. I was kind of giving some space and

letting him be more independent. Keep in mind that we have a kid next door who

is about a year younger than who sees everything. I'm sure he already has

some thought's on being on the special education bus. He will be in the

same school with again next year. We also have to live right next door to

him. He makes me nervous. He has his own issues and doesn't like anyone who

doesn't fit within a very VERY narrow window of what he considers normal. He

also brags to other kids about all the people he has beaten up. I'm sure a lot

of this is just talk, but I don't want there to be any problems between our

families. Fortunately, the mom next door is VERY nice.

Miriam

>

> That is great, I am glad everyone came to a resolution. I am not sure if

> this suggestion will help, we use a spiral notebook as a back and forth book

> for the bus and I to communicate. The bus driver would like to be able to

> drop off my son and then move on to his next stop, this way he is not

> running behind. The para will write the note on how the bus ride went, and I

> usually write a note on how my son's morning went before the bus pick up.

> Anyway, this saves time. I do think it is a good idea that you are at the bus

> stop each day, this way the driver and para know you are looking out for

> your son. Way to go and advocate for your son, keep up the good work!

>

> Dawn

>