Re: making & keeping friends

[Guest guest]

I tend to faciliate all play in some way. But when they

are in school it is a problem to do that.

Keep up with the playdates, social skills and if you have the

resources hire a behaviorist to help you too.

Accept that this is likely to be a long term problem more or

less since social skills is the disability and figure

out how you will cope with it.

Many AS boys seem to like martial arts and they teach

values and respect of others.

Many boys with ADHD are impulsive and don't think what they

are doing and get into all sorts of trouble, and it is

hard for the parents to cope with this.

You can try a behavior plan if it gets out of hand.

You can rehearse situations he may get into and

how you want him to respond. This really does work.

But in the end we can't rehearse everything that is going to

come up.The main strategy is to keep him in social situations

so he doesn't develop social avoidance. This is far

worse than having to apologize to parents and make

ammends. Mistakes happen. You are glad he is playing with

kids, it got out of hand. This is the message you want

to send not one of anxiety.

Pam

>

> Hi all-

>

> My son is 6.5 yr old in K and is dx with AS, ADHD, SPD and anxiety.

>

> He is shy and quirky and has a hard time making friends.(however he is

adorable and his quietness makes him very appealing to the girls but he is

oblivious to it!) When he does make a new friend... it is this " all or nothing "

thing with him. He wants to play with that kid all the time and does everything

that kid does even if it is not appropriate. We live in a nice quiet suburban

neighborhood- our street has about 20 + kids, mostly boys, on it and they are

all in elementary school except for a few. They all play well together. My son

recently became friends with a boy who lives across the street from us. We have

the kind of neighborhood where we all know our neighbors and in the summer we

are all outside chatting while the kids play. Anyway- so I know the parents of

this boy. He is a yr & a half older than my son and has 2 older brothers that

are in high school and a Dad that likes to tease. SO.... my son basically

worships this kid and will do whatever he does. Today, my son, his new friend,

my younger son who is almost 4 and another boy form our neighborhood who is 7

were all playing in our yard (in the snow!). My son was not being nice to the 7

yr old. I noticed the older boy from across the street being very rude and

telling my son to throw snowballs in his face,etc. It was awful because my son

did whatever he said to do. Luckily, my hubby came home and talked to him (DS

listens to DH much better than he listens to me!) But I felt really bad for the

7 yr old. This is a really sweet kid. He was playing and being so kind to my

younger son (almost 4) and did not deserve to be treated like that. I

understand that my son does not know how to act around other kids so he does

what he sees his new friend doing to fit in. I know we need to talk to him

about this again (and again and again) and I think we need to do some social

stories and role playing too.

>

> Anyone else have similar experiences? What did you do? Also, did you tell the

other parents that your child has AS ?

> ( I have not said anything and I usually don't feel that I need to give them

the label but instead just explain the behaviors we deal with and leave it at

that).

>