SV: How do you deal with lack of support?

[Guest guest]

Melinda, this group and the Swedish Attention group is my support.My husband has some traits himself, my mother- in- law is too old and has had enough with trouble. My sister-in-law is a workaholic, my father may have undxed Asperger himself and is married to a horrible woman, so I have no contact with him. I have ho biological siblings and my mother is dead. So yes I am quite alone and thank the Internet:)

in Sweden--- Den tors 2009-10-15 skrev Hall Melinda <mlndhall@...>:

Från: Hall Melinda <mlndhall@...>Ämne: ( ) How do you deal with lack of support?Till: Aspergers Treatment Datum: torsdag 15 oktober 2009 14.34

I know for many of us, it was to come to this website for support. And, believe me, this group has been a STRONG support for me during the past 8 years. I have gained a lot of knowledge here, a TON of support when I needed to vent or just regroup to go forward.That's where I find myself today. So many people are so wrapped up in their own lives, that they don't have time to deal with anyone else's issues or help someone who is struggling with overwhelming circumstances. I understand that. But how do you deal with someone who is constantly making comments that are negative regarding your care for your children? Even though this person KNOWS that my children can't help their behavior at times and I do the best I can, it still doesn't seem enough for this person (my mother of all things). I know she doesn't see the impact of what she's saying because I hide it well.And I do try and limit the amount of contact she has with the kids, but

she still gets in her little stabbing remarks. I swear that at least 2 of her children, my brothers, have asperger's (undiagnosed) . I KNOW my father would have been diagnosed with it if it were more prevalent when he was going through his bouts of depression and other issues. But that was 40 years ago, when doctor's didn't diagnose it. It has taken 6 years for my mother to finally start admitting that he MIGHT have had asperger's. (She'd rather believe he was just too selfish to change so she can have reason to bash him.)Depression runs high in my family. And the therapist seeing myself and my husband (for my husband's PTSD) has stated she sees some in me. We now have a new therapist and we went to meet with her Tuesday. (The old therapist left the practice). The new therapist wanted some background, so we went through the whole thing with 's asperger's and OCD, ADHD. Then, my youngest daughter's possible auditory processing

disorder and possible ADD. And then my youngest's possibility of at least ADHD. She looked at me and said, "YOU HAVE A LOT TO DEAL WITH!" Uh, yeah. Add to that Zac's asthma that requires maintenance medication and his SEVERE allergy to peanut/tree nut!!! Not to mention Tom's PTSD. She asked me what support I have. And, in reality, I have none except this wonderful group. And the pressure my mom puts on me that is always letting me know that I am not a good enough parent is starting to take it's toll. The fact that the woman told me that I had a lot to deal with really hit me like a brick. I've known it. I've let everyone know it, but no one really "sees" what we all deal with on a daily basis. It just started to "weigh me down". And then my mom's stinging remarks about my youngest and his inability to mind her. She was like, "He IS going to mind me if he is going to stay with ME!" So it was like, "I am not going to watch him for you anymore

because he can't mind me." I don't know of anyone else who can watch him. So I felt like I was starting from square one like I did 17 years ago with . Who wouldn't be depressed?Sorry this is so long. Just really feeling the crunch this morning and wondered how you all deal with this sort of thing. My mom is my closest source of family and she helps, but she has limitiations on what she will allow and won't. (She has no understanding and doesn't care to understand.) The next closest relative is a brother who says it's my parenting skills that cause my son's issues.I feel as if I am all alone in this.-Melinda

Ta semester! - sök efter resor hos Kelkoo. Jämför pris på flygbiljetter och hotellrum: http://www.kelkoo.se/c-169901-resor-biljetter.html

[Guest guest]

,

Thank goodness for this site...cause you will never be alone again.....ha ha! You got me and everyone else.

Jan

From: Karolina Sjödin <pettson39@...> Sent: Thu, October 15, 2009 11:23:23 AMSubject: SV: ( ) How do you deal with lack of support?

Melinda, this group and the Swedish Attention group is my support.My husband has some traits himself, my mother- in- law is too old and has had enough with trouble. My sister-in-law is a workaholic, my father may have undxed Asperger himself and is married to a horrible woman, so I have no contact with him. I have ho biological siblings and my mother is dead. So yes I am quite alone and thank the Internet:)

in Sweden--- Den tors 2009-10-15 skrev Hall Melinda <mlndhall (DOT) com>:

Från: Hall Melinda <mlndhall (DOT) com>Ämne: ( ) How do you deal with lack of support?Till: Aspergers TreatmentDatum: torsdag 15 oktober 2009 14.34

I know for many of us, it was to come to this website for support. And, believe me, this group has been a STRONG support for me during the past 8 years. I have gained a lot of knowledge here, a TON of support when I needed to vent or just regroup to go forward.That's where I find myself today. So many people are so wrapped up in their own lives, that they don't have time to deal with anyone else's issues or help someone who is struggling with overwhelming circumstances. I understand that. But how do you deal with someone who is constantly making comments that are negative regarding your care for your children? Even though this person KNOWS that my children can't help their behavior at times and I do the best I can, it still doesn't seem enough for this person (my mother of all things). I know she doesn't see the impact of what she's saying because I hide it well.And I do try and limit the amount of contact she has with the kids, but

she still gets in her little stabbing remarks. I swear that at least 2 of her children, my brothers, have asperger's (undiagnosed) . I KNOW my father would have been diagnosed with it if it were more prevalent when he was going through his bouts of depression and other issues. But that was 40 years ago, when doctor's didn't diagnose it. It has taken 6 years for my mother to finally start admitting that he MIGHT have had asperger's. (She'd rather believe he was just too selfish to change so she can have reason to bash him.)Depression runs high in my family. And the therapist seeing myself and my husband (for my husband's PTSD) has stated she sees some in me. We now have a new therapist and we went to meet with her Tuesday. (The old therapist left the practice). The new therapist wanted some background, so we went through the whole thing with 's asperger's and OCD, ADHD. Then, my youngest daughter's possible auditory processing

disorder and possible ADD. And then my youngest's possibility of at least ADHD. She looked at me and said, "YOU HAVE A LOT TO DEAL WITH!" Uh, yeah. Add to that Zac's asthma that requires maintenance medication and his SEVERE allergy to peanut/tree nut!!! Not to mention Tom's PTSD. She asked me what support I have. And, in reality, I have none except this wonderful group. And the pressure my mom puts on me that is always letting me know that I am not a good enough parent is starting to take it's toll. The fact that the woman told me that I had a lot to deal with really hit me like a brick. I've known it. I've let everyone know it, but no one really "sees" what we all deal with on a daily basis. It just started to "weigh me down". And then my mom's stinging remarks about my youngest and his inability to mind her. She was like, "He IS going to mind me if he is going to stay with ME!" So it was like, "I am not going to watch him for you anymore

because he can't mind me." I don't know of anyone else who can watch him. So I felt like I was starting from square one like I did 17 years ago with . Who wouldn't be depressed?Sorry this is so long. Just really feeling the crunch this morning and wondered how you all deal with this sort of thing. My mom is my closest source of family and she helps, but she has limitiations on what she will allow and won't. (She has no understanding and doesn't care to understand.) The next closest relative is a brother who says it's my parenting skills that cause my son's issues.I feel as if I am all alone in this.-Melinda

Ta semester! - sök efter resor hos Kelkoo. Jämför pris på flygbiljetter och hotellrum: http://www.kelkoo. se/c-169901- resor-biljetter. html