Re: Isolation

[Guest guest]

Don't feel too alone. I'm pretty much isolated myself. I don't really have any friends. I've kind of given up on having any. It just seems like any time I try to have a friend, I always wind up getting used. In high school, I was only there to be the one to perk everyone up. If I got upset, then I was left alone. When I went to college, I didn't really make friends because I was a commuter. The first college wasn't a commuter school & it was big into sororities & frats. The second was a commuter college, but everyone seemed to be more concerned w/school that any kind of socializing. When I started working, I was backstabbed at the last two places I worked. Both are long stories. Basically, I thought a couple of people were my friends, but I found out later I was wrong. I had a couple of people that I thought were my friends again, but I just wound up getting used.

One was a neighbor & the other was a gal I knew in high school. So, I've pretty much just given up on having friends.

Where we live at now makes it kind of hard. I just don't have anything in common w/any of our neighbors. They're just so closed minded. I don't share their religious or political beliefs. DH has more in common w/the neighbors. He's not closed minded by any means, but he is a "country boy." We're kind of a Dharma & Greg type of thing. Except he's not so much Greg. He's just a bit more conservative & I'm more liberal. I'm his hippie chick & he's my redneck boy.

I don't work. I'm not involved in any clubs or anything. There just aren't any that's what I'm interested in. I do volunteer for the local humane society by taking the dogs & cats to PetsMart 2 Saturdays a month. Any of the groups I am interested in are just too far away.

Okay. Enough of my pity party. But, I understand what you mean about feeling isolated. I'm just glad hubby isn't traveling w/work anymore. (He used to be gone 1 or 2 weeks at a time & only home for 2 days.) At least he's home every night now.

Janice

[Guest guest]

Janice: You are telling my story. I am new to this group and

frequently find it hard to relate to some of the messages. Yours is

the first one I have had a strong reaction too. I look forward to

having an outlet where I do not feel like such an outsider. Thank

you.

Alice

> Don't feel too alone. I'm pretty much isolated myself. I

don't really have any friends. I've kind of given up on having

any. It just seems like any time I try to have a friend, I always

wind up getting used. In high school, I was only there to be the

one to perk everyone up. If I got upset, then I was left alone.

When I went to college, I didn't really make friends because I was a

commuter. The first college wasn't a commuter school & it was big

into sororities & frats. The second was a commuter college, but

everyone seemed to be more concerned w/school that any kind of

socializing. When I started working, I was backstabbed at the last

two places I worked. Both are long stories. Basically, I thought a

couple of people were my friends, but I found out later I was

wrong. I had a couple of people that I thought were my friends

again, but I just wound up getting used. One was a neighbor & the

other was a gal I knew in high school. So, I've pretty much just

given up on

> having friends.

> Where we live at now makes it kind of hard. I just don't have

anything in common w/any of our neighbors. They're just so closed

minded. I don't share their religious or political beliefs. DH has

more in common w/the neighbors. He's not closed minded by any

means, but he is a " country boy. " We're kind of a Dharma & Greg

type of thing. Except he's not so much Greg. He's just a bit more

conservative & I'm more liberal. I'm his hippie chick & he's my

redneck boy.

> I don't work. I'm not involved in any clubs or anything.

There just aren't any that's what I'm interested in. I do volunteer

for the local humane society by taking the dogs & cats to PetsMart 2

Saturdays a month. Any of the groups I am interested in are just

too far away.

> Okay. Enough of my pity party. But, I understand what you

mean about feeling isolated. I'm just glad hubby isn't traveling

w/work anymore. (He used to be gone 1 or 2 weeks at a time & only

home for 2 days.) At least he's home every night now.

>

> Janice

[Guest guest]

now you have all of us BTW - I think it's great you volunteer for the animals

Re: Isolation

[Guest guest]

Alice,

Well, at least I don't feel so alone now. I guess there's more of us out there than I had thought. I guess as an adult, I'm just not used to so much isolation. I was very active in things when I was in high school & middle school. I didn't have any real, true friends, but I didn't talk to people. It might have been on the surface, somewhat shallow conversations, but there was some interaction. Now there's none -- except for on-line. I know part of it right now is the weather. It's just been so cold. And there's not much sun. I'm thinking about going to the tanning bed to get some kind of sun. I used to go when I was babysitting 3 kids a couple of years ago. I'd only go for about 10 or 15 minutes once or twice a week, but it was very relaxing. The place I went had a little boombox in the room, an oscilating fan, & put mints on the beds. I'd pop in one of those mints.

Turn the fan on low & oscilate. I'd put in a CD of reggae/steel drum/island music. And pretend I was on a beach somewhere. It was a great stress reliever. It helped w/the acne a bit. It also helped my back -- due to a couple of wrecks, I've got a bad back. It was a great stress reducer. Well, if we have the money this week, I think I'm going to get a package to a tanning booth. There's one where I buy my candles -- they make their own.

Janice

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

From: " Janice White " <divinemrsw@...>

>a great stress reducer. Well, if we have the money this week, I think I'm

going to get a package to a tanning booth. There's one where I buy my

candles -- they make their own.

Did you go? We need a little pampering, especially with the lousy winter

weather.

Ann

[Guest guest]

I have 4 children all with different dx. my youngest now is 16 Aspie and FASD.

I have been dealing with depression for years so yes . This year I started therapy just for me.

I have been taking my kids to therapy but never me.

Sometimes we have to take care of us first and then we can give more to our kids

Theresa StoopsCoordinator OfFlorida F.A.S.D. Interagency Action Group 850-408-3789 God Bless All Military Families We All Hope On Your Safe Return Home.

[Guest guest]

Malisa,

Oh how MOST of us, if not ALL of us can relate to exactly what you are feeling. My advice would be to seek therapy for yourself as well and possibly even consider taking an antidepressant medication.Raising a child with Aspergers or any disability can take you to extreme lows (as well as highs). But the lows can last longer and be more frequent which can cause them to grab ahold of you and hang on. Especially if you don't have anyone to turn to for support. I know this from experience all too well. I have had to have therapy myself at times and I do currently take Welbutrin. Without it I think I would have gone insane by now. I'm not embarrassed by it, it's a tool to help my quality of life be better.

We did a topic about medications that parents are on a while back on this forum and many admitted to needing and/or taking them. Just something you might want to consider.

With me being better in control of my own faculities I can help my son much more and have the strength to deal with the school. Hope things get better for you. But KNOW you are not alone!!! <<hugs>>ne

From: lckygrl6 <Lckygrl6@...>Subject: ( ) Isolation Date: Thursday, April 14, 2011, 9:03 AM

Since my 9 year old was diagnosed a little over a year ago, I have found myself isolating myself from others and going out less with my son. Does anybody else find themselves in the same predicament? Am I just lazy? I feel like such a horrible parent. My son doesn't mind staying home one bit, which bothers me even more, which makes me feel worse about my ability to parent. Has anybody else found that their child's diagnosis has affected them emotionally? I have had some serious bouts of depression trying to cope. I read all the books before my son was born. Preparing myself to prepare him for the world, only to learn that none of those books apply to him and I'm back at square one. I worry nonstop about my ability to raise him. Has anybody else experienced these types of emotions.. ?Thanks for listening.. Malisa

[Guest guest]

Malisa-

What state you in?

I have a 8 yr old boy with similar things happening.

I live in Kentucky.

Myke

From: lckygrl6 <Lckygrl6@...>Subject: ( ) Isolation Date: Thursday, April 14, 2011, 9:03 AM

Since my 9 year old was diagnosed a little over a year ago, I have found myself isolating myself from others and going out less with my son. Does anybody else find themselves in the same predicament? Am I just lazy? I feel like such a horrible parent. My son doesn't mind staying home one bit, which bothers me even more, which makes me feel worse about my ability to parent. Has anybody else found that their child's diagnosis has affected them emotionally? I have had some serious bouts of depression trying to cope. I read all the books before my son was born. Preparing myself to prepare him for the world, only to learn that none of those books apply to him and I'm back at square one. I worry nonstop about my ability to raise him. Has anybody else experienced these types of emotions.. ?Thanks for listening.. Malisa