My son

[Guest guest]

My oldest son is eight. We have suspected Aspergers in him for quite a while,

but his behaviors were never things we couldn't handle, just quirky obsessions

and other things, like temper tantrums. We homeschooled until just last month,

so an official dx wasn't all that important. Now we've decided to put him and

his siblings in school, which is a whole different ball game.

We are going through all the evals right now. He's done the academic one and the

school psych has seen him. He still has OT, speech, and the social worker.

Hopefully at the end of these, he will have a full time aid at school. As it

stands now, all he can tolerate is a couple hours in the morning. The school

has been absolutely wonderful. They are providing him with his own space in the

room, the ability to leave whenever he needs to, headphones if it gets too loud,

books on tape to distract him if he needs it, etc. I am so happy with the

teacher and the school in general.

Even with all this, twice in the last few weeks I've had to rush to the school

because he was melting down. The first time they restrained him. I forgot to

tell them earlier.... this is a BAD thing. It will send him through the roof.

The second time they did not restrain, but the had to physically block him

because he was trying to run away. When he gets like that..... it's just really

bad. Really bad. The things he says. He's just terrified. It's

heartbreaking. I ended up crying in the corner at the school the last time.

How embarrassing!

I really need some more coping strategies. I never know what to do. Yesterday

we had to go shopping (the whole family-- dh and I and all 6 kids), and he got

upset about something. I still have no idea what. He got out of the van and

was screaming and swearing at us. We just all sat there and waited. I don't

know what else to do. He finally walked into the store by himself and I

followed at a distance. A concerned stranger was trying to talk to him, and my

son was just ranting to himself. I told the guy " he has Aspergers " , he didn't

say a word, just walked away but kept watching. I think he probably thought I

was abusing him or something.

So I sat on the bench down from him and waited. When he got quiet I asked him

if he was ready, he said yes, and we went shopping. Ugh. What else could I

have done? Seriously. Is there another way to approach this?

At any rate, it sounds like the school psych, and everyone else there thinks

he's got Aspergers, and likely an anxiety disorder as well. We have an

appointment with the doctor coming up. I suppose he will then get an " official "

dx, but I don't know what good that will do him. Meds are a last resort for us.

Also, my dh is most likely being transfered to Florida next month, which means

we will have to try and find a school like the one we found here. Not to

mention the HUGE transition of moving several states away.

I would love to hear how others cope with everything. Is it going to keep

getting more intense as he gets older? Are these extreme meltdowns typical of

Aspergers?