Re: Thank you for your postings

[Guest guest]

Yes I feel that way. But I try not to think that way.

It can get depressing. How come we are not given time in therapy to grieve. It

is all focus on treatments. Life is changed. Resources

drained trying various therapies.

I have thought about where she could live as a young adult that

is town she could walk around in easily. Our therapist urged me

to get her on SSI and medicad. I try to work hard on getting her out of the

house she is very avoidant.

I guess energy goes toward helping her. But I often am up late

like now. Searching for answers and worried.

Pam

>

> Tears come to my eyes reading the postings from Janice and the person she was

answering to. I've been going through the same frustrations and fears with my

son since I can remember. He is 10 now but I have a feeling that our problems

are just getting started. I want to be optimistic and think that with the right

coaching from parents, educators and mental health professionals he will get

better. We are doing as much as we can for him, but most days I can't help but

think that he is just a kid now and the love and support from family and school

professionals maybe sufficient... but as he grows into an adolescent and an

adult, the issues will multiply. Does anybody feel that way?

> Thank you,

> Cristina

>

[Guest guest]

I really try to be positive, and some days things go all right and I think to

myself that maybe it will work out somehow and my daughter will have a great,

happy future; but when the A.S. is more obvious and I think about the world

around us, I feel depressed again. I know I need to be all right in order for my

daughter to have more positive surroundings, at least at home, but sometimes

it's so hard. We don't have a lot of family who are capable of helping (they

just don't get it), other than my mother who has health problems, or one other

person who is so swamped with her own life circumstances, so it feels like the

total responsibility for my daughter's welfare falls on me. I don't want to fail

her.

I worry about my daughter's future. There are limited sources of help around

here, and we don't have the money for most of those sources. Other than what the

school offers during the school year, we have nothing. I'm trying to learn and

do my best to help her, but I'm not sure what 'the best' always is. She was born

to us when I was older, so I also worry about someone 'being there' for her if

anything should happen to me. Her dad is one of the people who doesn't really

grasp any of this...maybe denial, but also, I've wondered if he might have A.S.

to some degree, too. It would explain a lot of what we've been through.

Anyway, you are not alone in your concern. Remember though, there are many other

people out there who feel they don't fit in, but they usually find their niche

and someone to connect with. I recently read something about Aspies who were not

pleased about others wanting to find a cure for them. They considered themselves

to just be of a different mindset and did not want to lose the qualities that

came with Asperger's. We cannot give up hopes and dreams for our children...we

just may have to adjust those hopes and dreams to fit in with our children's

qualities, rather than mainstream them with 'typical' expections. Not being

'typical' can be a very good thing...thinking 'outside the box' has opened many

doors that have helped the world (finding cures, artistic expression that has

reached the hearts of others, etc.). Someone posted that God has a special plan

for our children, too...this is true--believe it. As long as our children have

one person in their lives to connect with, they have someone...they are not

alone. We can always guide them as to where to go for help, too...support

groups, etc. It may not always be easy, but it can be all right. Take

care...you're in my prayers!

> >

> > Tears come to my eyes reading the postings from Janice and the person she

was answering to. I've been going through the same frustrations and fears with

my son since I can remember. He is 10 now but I have a feeling that our problems

are just getting started. I want to be optimistic and think that with the right

coaching from parents, educators and mental health professionals he will get

better. We are doing as much as we can for him, but most days I can't help but

think that he is just a kid now and the love and support from family and school

professionals maybe sufficient... but as he grows into an adolescent and an

adult, the issues will multiply. Does anybody feel that way?

> > Thank you,

> > Cristina

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I really try to be positive, and some days things go all right and I think to

myself that maybe it will work out somehow and my daughter will have a great,

happy future; but when the A.S. is more obvious and I think about the world

around us, I feel depressed again. I know I need to be all right in order for my

daughter to have more positive surroundings, at least at home, but sometimes

it's so hard. We don't have a lot of family who are capable of helping (they

just don't get it), other than my mother who has health problems, or one other

person who is so swamped with her own life circumstances, so it feels like the

total responsibility for my daughter's welfare falls on me. I don't want to fail

her.

I worry about my daughter's future. There are limited sources of help around

here, and we don't have the money for most of those sources. Other than what the

school offers during the school year, we have nothing. I'm trying to learn and

do my best to help her, but I'm not sure what 'the best' always is. She was born

to us when I was older, so I also worry about someone 'being there' for her if

anything should happen to me. Her dad is one of the people who doesn't really

grasp any of this...maybe denial, but also, I've wondered if he might have A.S.

to some degree, too. It would explain a lot of what we've been through.

Anyway, you are not alone in your concern. Remember though, there are many other

people out there who feel they don't fit in, but they usually find their niche

and someone to connect with. I recently read something about Aspies who were not

pleased about others wanting to find a cure for them. They considered themselves

to just be of a different mindset and did not want to lose the qualities that

came with Asperger's. We cannot give up hopes and dreams for our children...we

just may have to adjust those hopes and dreams to fit in with our children's

qualities, rather than mainstream them with 'typical' expections. Not being

'typical' can be a very good thing...thinking 'outside the box' has opened many

doors that have helped the world (finding cures, artistic expression that has

reached the hearts of others, etc.). Someone posted that God has a special plan

for our children, too...this is true--believe it. As long as our children have

one person in their lives to connect with, they have someone...they are not

alone. We can always guide them as to where to go for help, too...support

groups, etc. It may not always be easy, but it can be all right. Take

care...you're in my prayers!

> >

> > Tears come to my eyes reading the postings from Janice and the person she

was answering to. I've been going through the same frustrations and fears with

my son since I can remember. He is 10 now but I have a feeling that our problems

are just getting started. I want to be optimistic and think that with the right

coaching from parents, educators and mental health professionals he will get

better. We are doing as much as we can for him, but most days I can't help but

think that he is just a kid now and the love and support from family and school

professionals maybe sufficient... but as he grows into an adolescent and an

adult, the issues will multiply. Does anybody feel that way?

> > Thank you,

> > Cristina

> >

>

[Guest guest]

yes all the time, it is scary but i too am a strong believer in prayer, trust in it , i quess in the end that is all we can do love our children try to help them grow into strong teens and adults the best we can and trust in god to take care of them where we cannot. sherryFrom: Cristina <ctemboury@...> Sent: Monday, July 6, 2009 11:04:02 PMSubject: ( ) Thank you for your postings

Tears come to my eyes reading the postings from Janice and the person she was answering to. I've been going through the same frustrations and fears with my son since I can remember. He is 10 now but I have a feeling that our problems are just getting started. I want to be optimistic and think that with the right coaching from parents, educators and mental health professionals he will get better. We are doing as much as we can for him, but most days I can't help but think that he is just a kid now and the love and support from family and school professionals maybe sufficient.. . but as he grows into an adolescent and an adult, the issues will multiply.

Does anybody feel that way?

Thank you,

Cristina

[Guest guest]

Believe me....I go to therapy....I don't think I would have survived if I didn't. But one think my therapist has said to me over and over....is for me to give time to myself. And, I'm sure most of us here don't do this. So, I am going to say this now...we have to take care of ourselves so that we can take care of our children...go to the movies, go out to dinner, meet some friends, go out to lunch, take a nice long bath, go for a walk or go to a museum...just do something for yourself...something you enjoy and it will help you in the long run with things at home. Take care of yourself ...we deserve it too!

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: susanonderko <susanonderko@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Thank you for your postings Date: Monday, July 6, 2009, 11:54 PM

Yes I feel that way. But I try not to think that way.It can get depressing. How come we are not given time in therapy to grieve. It is all focus on treatments. Life is changed. Resourcesdrained trying various therapies. I have thought about where she could live as a young adult thatis town she could walk around in easily. Our therapist urged meto get her on SSI and medicad. I try to work hard on getting her out of the house she is very avoidant. I guess energy goes toward helping her. But I often am up latelike now. Searching for answers and worried. Pam >> Tears come to my eyes reading the postings from Janice and the person she was

answering to. I've been going through the same frustrations and fears with my son since I can remember. He is 10 now but I have a feeling that our problems are just getting started. I want to be optimistic and think that with the right coaching from parents, educators and mental health professionals he will get better. We are doing as much as we can for him, but most days I can't help but think that he is just a kid now and the love and support from family and school professionals maybe sufficient.. . but as he grows into an adolescent and an adult, the issues will multiply. Does anybody feel that way? > Thank you,> Cristina>

[Guest guest]

...all children are different but I think in general our children turning into teens is a very difficult time for them...a confusing time...their bodies are changing, hormones are flowing, and they see girls in a new light and girls who are so much more mature then boys...are boycrazy. Back in December...a girl in my son's class (she is a year older) liked my son and it was awful...they said they were going out ...but all they ever did was talk on the phone and she came over 2x. But she was way way too mature for him...and he could have been lead in the wrong direction...luckily they broke up. And, we told him that he can not hang out with her. She only caused problems.

In fact, she was the underlying reason why my son was suspended for a day....I kind of laugh about it....(Thank Goodness)...

The girl was making fun of my son's friend (our neighbor who is 17) because he had to wear this specail neckbrace, he had been in a car accident and almost died. Well, this girl started making fun of him ...my son told her to stop...she didn't...he told her again to stop or he would spit in her hair....well ...she didn't so my son spit in her hair. Of course she had to tell on him and he was suspended. But, I took it ....well he warned her. I tried to explain to my son how gross that was and the germs etc. But, it seemed so ASPIE to me.

What 13 1/2 year old boy would spit in a girl's hair? My son because he is not mature. He thinks he is 19 at times...and then acts like a 5 year old.

We have seveal kids to deal with...one when he is 5, one when he is his correct age and one when he thinks he is 19....plus we have a child who is tired, depressed, happy, hyper....no wonder we are going crazy.

Hang in there...remember...we are on the big Roller Coaster.....

Janice

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: Cristina <ctemboury@...>Subject: ( ) Thank you for your postings Date: Monday, July 6, 2009, 11:04 PM

Tears come to my eyes reading the postings from Janice and the person she was answering to. I've been going through the same frustrations and fears with my son since I can remember. He is 10 now but I have a feeling that our problems are just getting started. I want to be optimistic and think that with the right coaching from parents, educators and mental health professionals he will get better. We are doing as much as we can for him, but most days I can't help but think that he is just a kid now and the love and support from family and school professionals maybe sufficient.. . but as he grows into an adolescent and an adult, the issues will multiply. Does anybody feel that way?

Thank you,

Cristina

[Guest guest]

I wish I could find a therapist who actually did something. Everyone I have

been to just sits there and listens in shock about the life that I live. Then

they pat me on the back and tell me what a good job I am doing. Here I am

telling them that I am falling apart at times and they are clueless.

My psychiatrist gets it, but basically he just does meds. He doesn't do

psychotherapy.

So, I use you guys, a journal, and a couple of good friends. And I definitely

take time for myself. But I need to take more time to work on my health. I

rest, I go out with friends, and my husband and I go out, and we try to get

vacations alone when we can.

But I don't eat healthy enough or get enough exercise.

Donna

---- rushen janice <jrushen@...> wrote:

> Believe me....I go to therapy....I don't think I would have survived if I

didn't.  But one think my therapist has said to me over and over....is for me

to give time to myself.  And, I'm sure most of us here don't do this.  So, I

am going to say this now...we have to take care of ourselves so that we can take

care of our children...go to the movies, go out to dinner, meet some friends, go

out to lunch, take a nice long bath, go for a walk or go to a museum...just do

something for yourself...something you enjoy and it will help you in the long

run with things at home.  Take care of yourself ...we deserve it too!

>

>

> Janice Rushen

>  

> " I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope "

>

>

>

>

> From: susanonderko <susanonderko@...>

> Subject: ( ) Re: Thank you for your postings

>

> Date: Monday, July 6, 2009, 11:54 PM

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Yes I feel that way. But I try not to think that way.

> It can get depressing. How come we are not given time in therapy to grieve. It

is all focus on treatments. Life is changed. Resources

> drained trying various therapies.

>

> I have thought about where she could live as a young adult that

> is town she could walk around in easily. Our therapist urged me

> to get her on SSI and medicad. I try to work hard on getting her out of the

house she is very avoidant.

>

> I guess energy goes toward helping her. But I often am up late

> like now. Searching for answers and worried.

>

> Pam

>

>

> >

> > Tears come to my eyes reading the postings from Janice and the person she

was answering to. I've been going through the same frustrations and fears with

my son since I can remember. He is 10 now but I have a feeling that our problems

are just getting started. I want to be optimistic and think that with the right

coaching from parents, educators and mental health professionals he will get

better. We are doing as much as we can for him, but most days I can't help but

think that he is just a kid now and the love and support from family and school

professionals maybe sufficient.. . but as he grows into an adolescent and an

adult, the issues will multiply. Does anybody feel that way?

> > Thank you,

> > Cristina

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Ohh Donna, you are doing better than I am I don’t see a

therapist (can’t afford it). I don’t keep a journal (I really SHOULD). I don’t

go out with friends (We moved, and woah is me, but I really don’t HAVE any

here), my husband and I don’t go out (we aren’t seeing eye to eye on most

things right now, PLUS we have no babysitter or money to pay them anyway lol),

we’ve NEVER been on a vacation without the kids, I don’t eat well enough, and

my consistency with exercise sucks. My best friend from where I USED to live

tells me all the time she has no idea how I hold myself together, and why I

haven’t fallen to pieces yet. I have no idea either – my kids, really, are my

reason for getting out of bed everyday They motivate me to do better, so

they can do better. Without them, I’d be LOST. But inside, and when no one is

looking… I *Am* falling apart. Sigh. I’m exhausted.

So, I focus on the kids. I focus on getting supports in place

for them. I have had A LONG fight with this stuff, and still am fighting and

screaming and feeling like no one is listening 99.9% of the time. I feel like

we’ve wasted so much time, and my sons are now suffering from now having the

supports/therapies/help they’ve needed for YEARS all this time. I worry for

their future. My husband doesn’t get it, or just refuses to get it. He tells

me, when the kid are blowing up at each other (happens more often than not, as

you can imagine with two aspies in my home, and age 5 and 8… OY!), that he “can’t

deal with itâ€. Yeah. Great. Helpful.

Emotionally void, mentally exhausted, and physically overloaded…

I really don’t know how much more I can take!

Enough of my pity party… gonna drink my coffee, and try to

figure out how to make today a good one… one way or the other.

=)

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of donnalmoore@...

Sent: Friday, July 10, 2009 2:34 AM

Cc: rushen janice

Subject: Re: ( ) Re: Thank you for your postings

I wish I could find a therapist who actually did something. Everyone I have

been to just sits there and listens in shock about the life that I live. Then

they pat me on the back and tell me what a good job I am doing. Here I am

telling them that I am falling apart at times and they are clueless.

My psychiatrist gets it, but basically he just does meds. He doesn't do

psychotherapy.

So, I use you guys, a journal, and a couple of good friends. And I definitely

take time for myself. But I need to take more time to work on my health. I

rest, I go out with friends, and my husband and I go out, and we try to get

vacations alone when we can.

But I don't eat healthy enough or get enough exercise.

Donna

---- rushen janice <jrushen@...>

wrote:

> Believe me....I go to therapy....I don't think I would have survived if I

didn't. But one think my therapist has said to me over and over....is for

me to give time to myself. And, I'm sure most of us here don't do

this. So, I am going to say this now...we have to take care of ourselves

so that we can take care of our children...go to the movies, go out to dinner,

meet some friends, go out to lunch, take a nice long bath, go for a walk or go

to a museum...just do something for yourself...something you enjoy and it will

help you in the long run with things at home. Take care of yourself ...we

deserve it too!

>

>

> Janice Rushen

>

> " I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope "

>

>

>

>

> From: susanonderko <susanonderko@...>

> Subject: ( ) Re: Thank you for your postings

>

> Date: Monday, July 6, 2009, 11:54 PM

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Yes I feel that way. But I try not to think that way.

> It can get depressing. How come we are not given time in therapy to

grieve. It is all focus on treatments. Life is changed. Resources

> drained trying various therapies.

>

> I have thought about where she could live as a young adult that

> is town she could walk around in easily. Our therapist urged me

> to get her on SSI and medicad. I try to work hard on getting her out of

the house she is very avoidant.

>

> I guess energy goes toward helping her. But I often am up late

> like now. Searching for answers and worried.

>

> Pam

>

>

> >

> > Tears come to my eyes reading the postings from Janice and the person

she was answering to. I've been going through the same frustrations and fears with

my son since I can remember. He is 10 now but I have a feeling that our

problems are just getting started. I want to be optimistic and think that with

the right coaching from parents, educators and mental health professionals he

will get better. We are doing as much as we can for him, but most days I can't

help but think that he is just a kid now and the love and support from family

and school professionals maybe sufficient.. . but as he grows into an

adolescent and an adult, the issues will multiply. Does anybody feel that

way?

> > Thank you,

> > Cristina

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

This sounds so familiar...they listen, so that's something beneficial, I

suppose; but it's not enough to relieve the concerns and stress. I'm glad you

can have time for yourself sometimes. I'm not able to do that unless I stay up

late, but then I'm exhausted the next day and that doesn't help anything either.

It might help the therapist to know what it is that you are looking for from

them. Tell them what others have/have not said or done that made, or did not

make, a difference. Tell them what you need from them and find out up front what

they feel they can do for you. Then, decide whether or not you think they sound

like someone who might have something to offer you. --k

> > >

> > > Tears come to my eyes reading the postings from Janice and the person she

was answering to. I've been going through the same frustrations and fears with

my son since I can remember. He is 10 now but I have a feeling that our problems

are just getting started. I want to be optimistic and think that with the right

coaching from parents, educators and mental health professionals he will get

better. We are doing as much as we can for him, but most days I can't help but

think that he is just a kid now and the love and support from family and school

professionals maybe sufficient.. . but as he grows into an adolescent and an

adult, the issues will multiply. Does anybody feel that way?

> > > Thank you,

> > > Cristina

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

You say you can make time during the day...are you married...what about your husband...or family or babysitter (?)....are there programs around where your kids could go? Do you belong to a church where you could ask someone for help? Even if it is one hour to go take a walk or go to the library or sit and have a cup of coffee quietly. It is a MUST ...you need it...your body and brain needs it. Pleaaaaaaaaase figure out a way...a least once a week...you need to do for YOURSELF. I am telling you it is a MUST...if there is a will ..then there is a way.

I am praying for all of you.

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: jmlrgs1870 <jmlrgs1870@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Thank you for your postings Date: Friday, July 10, 2009, 10:45 AM

This sounds so familiar...they listen, so that's something beneficial, I suppose; but it's not enough to relieve the concerns and stress. I'm glad you can have time for yourself sometimes. I'm not able to do that unless I stay up late, but then I'm exhausted the next day and that doesn't help anything either. It might help the therapist to know what it is that you are looking for from them. Tell them what others have/have not said or done that made, or did not make, a difference. Tell them what you need from them and find out up front what they feel they can do for you. Then, decide whether or not you think they sound like someone who might have something to offer you. --k> > >> > > Tears come to my eyes reading the postings from Janice and the person she was answering to. I've been going through the same frustrations and fears with my son since I can remember. He is 10 now but I have a feeling that our problems are just getting started. I want to be optimistic and think that with the right coaching from parents, educators and mental health professionals he will get better. We are doing as much as we can for him, but most days I can't help but think that he is just a kid now and the love and support from family and school professionals maybe sufficient.. . but as he grows into an adolescent and an adult, the issues will multiply. Does anybody feel that

way? > > > Thank you,> > > Cristina> > >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >>

[Guest guest]

....oh how I feel for you...i hear your desperation...and your husband sounds so ignorant of the situation....I don't know what state you live in...but is their a local Assistance Office that you could go down and check to see if there are any programs availabe to you? In PA they have the Provider 50 Program...it doesn't go by income but by the Diagnosis. Is there a big brother/big sister program out there? Or a local college where they may have programs? You could also check with your local state representative and see if he/she has any suggestions. Sometimes there is money/programs available and we don't even know it. I would never have known about the provider 50 program w/out the help of my advocate. Oh, and what about your school...for your son...you can ask them to help you ...they may of places and/or programs

availabe. And, the guidance counselors usually work during the summer...so try calling. Call your local hospital...do they have any programs? Look every where ...leave no stone unturned.

And, once a week...leave the kids with Dad...go out and have a nice walk around the park, go to borders or barnes & nobles and have a cup of coffee while checking out the books and maybe pick up a novel to read...

Hang in there..we are all praying for you. But you do need a break...so make your husband watch the kids for a while. They are his too!

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"> > > From: susanonderko <susanonderko>> Subject: ( ) Re: Thank you for your postings> > Date: Monday, July 6, 2009, 11:54 PM> > > > > > > > > Yes I feel that way. But I try not to think that way.> It can get depressing. How come we are not given time in therapy to grieve. It is all focus on treatments. Life is changed. Resources> drained trying various therapies. > > I have thought about where she could live

as a young adult that> is town she could walk around in easily. Our therapist urged me> to get her on SSI and medicad. I try to work hard on getting her out of the house she is very avoidant. > > I guess energy goes toward helping her. But I often am up late> like now. Searching for answers and worried. > > Pam > > > >> > Tears come to my eyes reading the postings from Janice and the person she was answering to. I've been going through the same frustrations and fears with my son since I can remember. He is 10 now but I have a feeling that our problems are just getting started. I want to be optimistic and think that with the right coaching from parents, educators and mental health professionals he will get better. We are doing as much as we can for him, but most days I can't help but think

that he is just a kid now and the love and support from family and school professionals maybe sufficient.. . but as he grows into an adolescent and an adult, the issues will multiply. Does anybody feel that way? > > Thank you,> > Cristina> >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

[Guest guest]

,I agree with Jan. You have to somehow just make time for yourself!! I have two teenagers at home with disabilities. My almost 17yo aspies can never be left alone. However, in the last year my 18yo son who is diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome has really matured. We are able to leave him with the 17yo long enough to go to a neighborhood restaurant!I also have a sister who will keep the 17yo while my husband & I get away for awhile. The 18yo stays with his best friend who does not have a disability, but has a brother who does, so his mom understands & makes sure he gets his meds. I have one really close friend with a 14yo daughter with AS. We email a lot & talk on the phone. We try to have coffee or go to the bookstore once a month! Please try to call some of the people that June suggested. And just leave them with your husband & go take a walk if that is all the time you can get!!!Sent from my iPhoneBlessings, DonnaOn Jul 10, 2009, at 11:34 AM, rushen janice <jrushen@...> wrote:

....oh how I feel for you...i hear your desperation...and your husband sounds so ignorant of the situation....I don't know what state you live in...but is their a local Assistance Office that you could go down and check to see if there are any programs availabe to you? In PA they have the Provider 50 Program...it doesn't go by income but by the Diagnosis. Is there a big brother/big sister program out there? Or a local college where they may have programs? You could also check with your local state representative and see if he/she has any suggestions. Sometimes there is money/programs available and we don't even know it. I would never have known about the provider 50 program w/out the help of my advocate. Oh, and what about your school...for your son...you can ask them to help you ...they may of places and/or programs

availabe. And, the guidance counselors usually work during the summer...so try calling. Call your local hospital...do they have any programs? Look every where ...leave no stone unturned.

And, once a week...leave the kids with Dad...go out and have a nice walk around the park, go to borders or barnes & nobles and have a cup of coffee while checking out the books and maybe pick up a novel to read...

Hang in there..we are all praying for you. But you do need a break...so make your husband watch the kids for a while. They are his too!

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"> > > From: susanonderko <susanonderko>> Subject: ( ) Re: Thank you for your postings> > Date: Monday, July 6, 2009, 11:54 PM> > > > > > > > > Yes I feel that way. But I try not to think that way.> It can get depressing. How come we are not given time in therapy to grieve. It is all focus on treatments. Life is changed. Resources> drained trying various therapies. > > I have thought about where she could live

as a young adult that> is town she could walk around in easily. Our therapist urged me> to get her on SSI and medicad. I try to work hard on getting her out of the house she is very avoidant. > > I guess energy goes toward helping her. But I often am up late> like now. Searching for answers and worried. > > Pam > > > >> > Tears come to my eyes reading the postings from Janice and the person she was answering to. I've been going through the same frustrations and fears with my son since I can remember. He is 10 now but I have a feeling that our problems are just getting started. I want to be optimistic and think that with the right coaching from parents, educators and mental health professionals he will get better. We are doing as much as we can for him, but most days I can't help but think

that he is just a kid now and the love and support from family and school professionals maybe sufficient.. . but as he grows into an adolescent and an adult, the issues will multiply. Does anybody feel that way? > > Thank you,> > Cristina> >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

[Guest guest]

...

tomorrow is saturday...leave the kids with your husband and go have a cup of java and relax and maybe wander around the book store or take a stroll around a lake. Pick up a hobby...painting, sketching, knitting ...whatever...something to help yourself relax and something that will give you pleasure.

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"> > > From: susanonderko <susanonderko>> Subject: ( ) Re: Thank you for your postings> > Date: Monday, July 6, 2009, 11:54 PM> > > > > > > > > Yes I feel that way. But I try not to think that way.> It can get depressing. How come we are not given time in therapy to grieve. It is all focus on treatments. Life is changed. Resources> drained trying various therapies. > > I have thought about where she could live as a young adult that> is town she could walk around in easily. Our therapist urged me> to get her on SSI and medicad. I try to work hard on getting her out

of the house she is very avoidant. > > I guess energy goes toward helping her. But I often am up late> like now. Searching for answers and worried. > > Pam > > > >> > Tears come to my eyes reading the postings from Janice and the person she was answering to. I've been going through the same frustrations and fears with my son since I can remember. He is 10 now but I have a feeling that our problems are just getting started. I want to be optimistic and think that with the right coaching from parents, educators and mental health professionals he will get better. We are doing as much as we can for him, but most days I can't help but think that he is just a kid now and the love and support from family and school professionals maybe sufficient.. . but as he grows into an adolescent and an adult, the issues

will multiply. Does anybody feel that way? > > Thank you,> > Cristina> >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

[Guest guest]

>

> tomorrow is saturday...leave the kids with your husband and go have a cup of

java and relax and maybe wander around the book store or take a stroll around a

lake.  Pick up a hobby...painting, sketching, knitting ...whatever...something

to help yourself relax and something that will give you pleasure.

We have two special needs people in our family of 4, one of them my husband, and

I work full-time 50 miles from home, so I know how it feels to be caught up in

the ratrace. What really helps me is to pick one or two things, could be a

hobby, could be a chore, that I'm not doing, or not doing to my satisfaction,

but is doable. Set some short-term and long-term goals, set up a way to mark my

progress, and focus on those goals. I think the sense of accomplishment gives

me more strength and motivation. I feel more ready to deal with life. And it

reminds me that these problems I'm caught up in are not of my own making. It

gives me concrete proof that all those things the school administrators,

educators, friends, family and colleagues say or imply about me aren't true. It

feels good to get something constructive done when so many of the things in my

life are so long-term that results are not terribly evident and helps make up

for the things I can't control that maybe will never happen.