outbursts, hitting me and police

[Guest guest]

Would you be willing to help me figure out how to cope with

a AS child hitting me (mom) in public. Our behaviorist wants me

to rehearse proper behavior with her. And we are.

If she is hitting me than I am to take away a portion of her computer time and

leave the event. A few times when I leave events she is so disruptive the police

is called by someone.

Each time the police try to smooth things over and and then

want me to take her where she wants to go.

These BAD events don't happen too often maybe 3 times a year.

And this is the reason the psychiatrist is hesitate to

use a drug like rispedal or abilify. She is on zoloft.

And it has helped a lot.

This event was she was with her cousin prior and was jealous

her cousin got something she now wanted. It was an unreasonable

request to go buy this $200 item on the way to go to the movies to

met her cousins. But outbursts are triggered by other non social events.It seems

to be a build up of stress.

Because she was so angry and hitting me I would not

take her into the movies as planned. When I tried to move

the car she opened the door. I told her to take a time out

and I would take her in but she was too agitated to do this

either.

When she was in the car she climbed into the front seat and was hitting me,

trying to get my purse and I tried to

push her away, out of my seat. But she said I was pushing

her out of the car. I was thinking this is crazy how she

twists the facts. I better not touch her at all. When I just

hunched over my purse she was hitting me in the head. She denies

hitting me at all. All she would admit to was trying to get my

purse.

The police came and they tried to smooth things over. They

told me to take her to the movies. They calmed her done

by agreeing with her that she deserved the movies. I know

the behaviorist would never have told me to do either

(go to the movies after hitting me or tell her she derseves

the movie because it was planned). When we went into the

movies she could see I was upset and didn't ask for

anything. She sat by her cousins and we left calmly.

She lost some computer time for all this. But earned some

by eating dinner and taking her shower. This is the plan

and I kept too it. When I tried to talk to her about it

she pushed me back again so I didn't anymore.

Some AS kids are on rispedal or abilify for agressive behaviors

but her pyschiatrist wants to hold off if possible so it does

trigger other issues for her. She has many health issues.

At home I just lock myself in a room until she calms down.

In public it is harder to distance myself because she chases

after me. If I stand there and take the punches I feel

depressed and want to leave I am so shamed by this behavior.

But leaving is what triggers her further.

She is not aggressive at school. She has at times

run away from a classroom but stayed in the building.

My husband has many health issues himself with diabetes.

And was in the hospital again (4th time this year) at Christmas.

He is not available to help with this.

I was hoping that as parents you could share how you would

handle this issue.

I considered should I call the police when she hits me

right away but this seems excessive and there really needs

to be a better solution long term. If when she starts

hitting and I say " lets talk about what you

want " ..she would still be too angry to talk. I think the

physical hitting me and wrestling with me is a release

of stress build up she needs. Once I ran down the street

and she chased me and when she was worn out she was better.

This is the craziest thing ever. I can't be having her

punch me and running away from her is very wierd and exhausting

too.

A mood stablizer is perhaps what she will need at some

point if this continues.

What do I do now though to cope.

Pam