How important is my presence when my son goes to school?

[Guest guest]

I started feeling that there was something " off " with my son after his terrible

twos never ended. (Well, a bit before, when he was lining up cars as a toddler).

He's 5 now. We had the evaluation done last week, and the psychologist and

pediatrician confirmed that my son can be classified under ASD. They avoided the

" Asperger " label as per latest discussions in the medical community of doing

away with that name.

I know my son is very high functioning, basically he is in the gray area, some

markers are present, some not. I just wanted to confirm my suspicions with this

evaluation, which they did. We don't have much support for ASD in our corner of

the world, and the little that we have, (intensive behavioral) has long waiting

lists, we are a bit late for that (need 6 mo + 6 mo follow-up), and I generally

feel we would not have been picked for that anyways, they would rather help more

serious cases.

I know perfectly well that my son gets these traits from his father, and since

father functions very well (as long as he is not working for anyone else, but

running his own business doing what he likes). So I am not worrying about big

picture and his future life.

But before he gets to his future life, we need to get him through school. I

know he will need some adjustment room in kindergarden that he is starting in

September. I am even thinking of keeping him at home some days if he is unglued.

Our kindergarden is very gentle, (just went through it with my daughter), not

the high-pressure, high-performance modern one, but the old-style laid-back,

true slow preparation for the grade school.

OK, so after such long introduction, my concern is, - I might not be constantly

present when my kdis start school in Sept. Long time ago, we planned for me to

go to school myself this Sept, too. It will be a couple of hours away, and I may

stay there for a week at a time. I just started wondering if it is right to

leave my son in just his Dad's care. It is hard for Dad to even go shopping with

our son since he doesn't know how to handle him when he drops on the floor in a

store because he wants to go home. Yet my husband tells me that he would be

able to manage sending both kids to school (our dd will be in the 2nd grade and

she is very self-sufficient, so not much worry there).

I guess I dont' know at this point if I am doing the right thing going to school

myself and being absent for days. Should I be present because I know there WILL

be some problems, the teachers will want to talk to us, etc. I don't want my

kids to get too off-kilted under little direction (I am the disciplinarian) and

Dad is, again, he has ASD traits himself.

I am not sure if my question is clear. Basically I am at a crossroads of what to

do, - abandon myself for the sake of my child, or still to try and see how it

all can work.