The Thief of Many Lives

[Guest guest]

May 6, 2002

The Thief of Many Lives

© Kathleen Houghton --- Alaska CFS-MCS Association 1996

*Revised 2002.

I am constantly on the prowl in search of new victims. I do not

discriminate---health care workers, teachers, students, airline

personnel,

teens, moms, dads, and innocent children are my prey. If you are dynamic

and have a lust for life, I will seek you out, and I will find you.

Just when you are at the peak of your endeavors, climbing that career

ladder or building your family and home, I will find you. There is

nothing

that you have in your life today that I am not capable of destroying

tomorrow, your career, your education, your goals, your dreams, your

family, and your life. I will have it all. I will strip you of your

ability

to function at any level above minimal, and from this day on you will

refer

to that minimal as a " good day. "

I have the ability to create an invalid out of you overnight, and I

will.

It will take a marathon effort for you just to get out of bed. At a

cellular level your immune system will be in a constant war battling

itself

and unnamed viruses, which will painfully be replicating in your brain.

I

promise you, I will bring you despair along with pain, isolation and

losses

far beyond what you can ever imagine.

Your mind will be in a constant " fogged " state, your expression will be

unable to express, and your eyes will have a noticeable " glazed

over/drugged out " look. You will find it most difficult to pay

attention,

concentrate, or even process the simplest of thoughts. Making change

from a

dollar may well be beyond your ability now. Your mouth may feel like it

is

full of marbles when you try to speak, as your tongue twists and nothing

you try to say comes out right. Who would believe your level of

education

when you can't even string enough words together to make a complete

sentence ... or one that makes any sense for that matter.

I promise, I will bring you at any unsuspecting time, severe abdominal

pain, nausea, vomiting and diarrhea along with a host of

gastro-intestinal

disorders. I will make you weak and lifeless as one could be without

being

confirmed dead. You will be housebound or in bed for several years if

not

the rest of your life. As part of incapacitating you, I will make your

heart race and your head pound; your throat will constantly be sore and

your lymph glands will swell. That will all seem trivial after I inflame

and spasm muscles throughout your body. Crushing a grape between your

fingers may take too much energy or be too painful now.

On those nights that I allow you to sleep, you will awaken drenched with

sweat or throbbing with pain. Perhaps I might even throw in a little

seizure activity. On those nights that I do not allow sleep to occur; I

will torture you with thoughts of death.... Not suicide, but death.

Simply

because you have not come to realize that this is your new life, and

that

you are not living. You will need to re-create your being every day, as

every day I will bring you unpredicted symptoms and suffering.

I have also done a few things that you may not be aware of yet. I placed

some lesions on your brain (have you noticed how you have difficulty

with

balance and memory yet?) and I have permanently altered your immune

system.

I have shorted out your nervous system so that you have intermittent

numbness and tingling, which might resemble an electrical current

zapping

you from time to time. This is called neuropathy. Nope, it's not curable

either!

Now I have you. I have taken over your body and mind. I have stolen your

life but left you alive, not very functional, but by clinical definition

you are still alive.

Your family will not be able to give you all the constant care that you

need on a daily basis. As for your friends, well, they're still on that

ladder climbing up. Rest assured, I am looking for them too. By now,

chances are good that most of your family and friends have abandoned

you,

so you must have learned the definition of isolation. This newfound

isolation will save you from having to explain how sick you really are

to

others, they won't understand anyway. Isolation will save you all that

energy.

Your health insurance has already been or will shortly be discontinued

as

you lost your job from not being able to " keep up. "

Perhaps you got caught dozing off or called in sick one too many times.

Now

that you are no longer employable or insurable, when you seek medical

care,

any medical professional that figures me out will diagnose you and say

that

what you have is presently not curable.

Now it is time for you to seek out medical care, nation if not

worldwide.

However, most so called medical professionals will not even have the

ability to recognize me when they see me, as they have not learned

about me

in medical school. So, chances are good that you will be misdiagnosed.

You

will give more blood samples and have more examinations than you ever

imagined existed. Then you can take the results to dozens of doctors in

search of a diagnosis. One that is valid as well as socially and

medically

acceptable. One that does not label you as depressed or say that " it is

all

in your head!!! " Most doctors will suggest a vacation, weight loss diet,

new or increased love life, help with the children, or change of

scenery as

the " cure, " mainly because you may look like the picture of health.

This is

my mask of deception.

You will pray for a positive word from current research. Research, which

you will soon learn, is quite limited due to lack of funding and

government

support. You will learn new vocabulary which contains words like:

T-Cells,

Cytokines, Nuclear Antigens, Natural Killer Cells, Immunoglobulins,

Cytomegalovirus, Seratonin, Cerebral lesions, and Immune Dysfunction are

among a few. However the most important words that you will need to know

and fight for are Social Security Disability and Medicare.

At one point I may give you a false sense of recovery or remission. Let

me

assure you, I will be back, as you are my prisoner and that makes me

your

keeper. I have placed the lives of millions of people nationwide in

limbo,

I continue to do the same world wide. I would consider this an epidemic,

wouldn't you?

Eventually I will bring the government, health care workers, and

society to

its knees in search of unraveling my complexities, which are crippling

humanity. I leave it up to you, my victims, and your caretakers, to

educate

the public and let them know that I am very real and that you are very

sick. Unfortunately, I have been given a totally ridiculous name, which

will make your job even more difficult. Until that name is changed, I

am.

CHRONIC FATIGUE AND IMMUNE DYSFUNCTION SYNDROME

Kathleen Houghton, author of The Thief of Many Lives was a professional

healthcare worker dedicating many years to Pediatric Special Care nursing

before CFS put her life on hold at the age of 36. She continues to be ill and

is mostly housebound with Multiple Chemical Sensitivity (MCS) as well as CFS.

When able she promotes CFS and MCS Awareness through accurate information and

education. cfs-mcs@...

" Just one little person, doing one little thing, to help solve one HUGE

problem! "

[Guest guest]

I saw a new doctor because of chronic yeast infections. He wants me to start

eating no sugar, which I am and has said to get holy basil, calcium and

magnesium, astragalus and a herbal vitamin. I am also to start Nystatin pills

which

say 500,000 units on the bottle. I am scared to death of the die off. Does

anyone have any comments? He said to drink lots of water through this.

Janet

[Guest guest]

Dear Serena,

Thank you for all that info. I tried nystatin powder once a year ago and

ended up in the hospital so thats why I am scared now with this. Thank you

again.

Janet