Re: my odd child is in trouble

[Guest guest]

Hmmmm...this is what I have been so worried about for my son....

Let's see what can you do? First ...making him sell his car is a good idea ...at least he can not drive. Would he ever try to take yours? My brother's son did this once. Do you think he will become more defiant? Have you taken away his cell phone? Does he work to pay for his own things???

Therapy never helped to get what this anger is all about? What about sending his to a residency for a while....to learn that things can't always be his way? Are there any agencies out there to help you? Does the school know of any that can help you?

Is your son on any medication? Would he? My son is on Geodon and it helps...

Oh, my heart is going out to you and your family. I will pray for you all. Please keep us posted ....

Hugs to you.

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: lori jennings <lozzy3us@...>Subject: ( ) my odd child is in trouble Date: Monday, June 29, 2009, 10:24 AM

My 16 yr old son has ODD and everything he does is defiant. It has seemed for a long time that he knows he is doing it and he just tries to see what he can get away with. It started with his grades. He refuses to do his homework. He seems very manipulating. He has figured out the system at school. He will not do any work at school for 2 weeks and then he spends a Sat in detention and gets it all done and just takes a lower grade. He has been on a down hill spiral for a long time and I have been watching him get completely out of control. He seems to think he can just do what ever he wants when ever he wants. We have had him in counseling, we have grounded him, we have taken away his phone, and his vehicle.

This weekend was the final straw-he was supposed to be spending the night with a friend to go help in the field the next day and we got a call a 1:30 in the morning that he had been arrested and put in jail.He had been clocked doing 80 mph and gunned past the first state patrolman and almost hit the next one head on. He had been drinking. He received 5 tickets in all. He was released to us but his attitude bothers me. He doesn't seem to get that there are consequenses to his actions. His statement was that at least people will know me. We are making him sell his vehicle to help pay for his court costs and lawyer. This is hard but the bright side is that he won't be able to drive so he won't have any freedom. Sorry to ramble but I am overwhelmed and very stressed.

Lori

[Guest guest]

>

> This weekend was the final straw-he was supposed to be spending the night with

a friend to go help in the field the next day and we got a call a 1:30 in the

morning that he had been arrested and put in jail.

My thoughts are that maybe you need to back up a little and start treating him

more like a child with a disability. How did he get in this position where he

has his own car at age 16 and the freedom to be out at 1:30 in the morning? If

he is not in a place where he is ready to handle the responsibility of a car or

being at a friend's house overnight without being checked on, why is he being

given these freedoms in the first place?

As far as the homework goes--same thing. If he is not ready to work on his own

yet, he must be supervised. It doesn't matter that the other kids are doing

their homework on their own--they don't have ODD.

Ruth

[Guest guest]

My husband and I have a construction company and we raise game birds so yes my son does work. When he works he gets a regular check just like a regular employee. We have provided all of our children with a vehicle, not anything great but something to get them started. We do pay for his phone and yes we have taken it away many times. He is not meds right now. He was on vyvanse up until 6 months ago. He would refuse to take it and then if I did make him take it, I would find them later in his room or in his pocket. As of right now he is not leaving our sight. We live in a very small community and there is not much available but when I have had him in counseling he would just tell the counselor what they wanted to hear and he is very charming and seeems to be so happy so she could never really understand why we even there. There is a program that our

school participates in that is called the ACES program and they use it often time for credit recovery for kids with behavioral problems. I have discussed sending him there last year but they say he tests too high. I am weighing any option right now. I used to leave the keys in my vehicle all the time but the last little while have been pulling them. Thanks alot for responding. 5 years ago i got custody of my nephew who is AS and his sister so many of my friends have dispeared. I don't have much family to depend on so it is very lonely and I use this board alot to sound off.

Lori

From: lori jennings <lozzy3us@...>Subject: ( ) my odd child is in trouble Date: Monday, June 29, 2009, 10:24 AM

My 16 yr old son has ODD and everything he does is defiant. It has seemed for a long time that he knows he is doing it and he just tries to see what he can get away with. It started with his grades. He refuses to do his homework. He seems very manipulating. He has figured out the system at school. He will not do any work at school for 2 weeks and then he spends a Sat in detention and gets it all done and just takes a lower grade. He has been on a down hill spiral for a long time and I have been watching him get completely out of control. He seems to think he can just do what ever he wants when ever he wants. We have had him in counseling, we have grounded him, we have taken away his phone, and his vehicle.

This weekend was the final straw-he was supposed to be spending the night with a friend to go help in the field the next day and we got a call a 1:30 in the morning that he had been arrested and put in jail.He had been clocked doing 80 mph and gunned past the first state patrolman and almost hit the next one head on. He had been drinking. He received 5 tickets in all. He was released to us but his attitude bothers me. He doesn't seem to get that there are consequenses to his actions. His statement was that at least people will know me. We are making him sell his vehicle to help pay for his court costs and lawyer. This is hard but the bright side is that he won't be able to drive so he won't have any freedom. Sorry to ramble but I am overwhelmed and very stressed.

Lori

[Guest guest]

How is he when he is working???? Is he responsible? Does he realize that he will be of legal age soon and no long a "child" and if he gets into trouble can be tried as an adult. Have you ever had a police officier talk to him seriously???? Have you taken his to visit a prision....? Not trying to scare you or your son...but maybe he needs to see reality...

I think he needs classes in anger managment, therapy and medication ....see if he is willing to try some different medicine...doesn't he want to help himself...does he like the way he is....

Have you ever sat down and talked to him face to face...putting everything on the table....leave it up to him....get help or send him away...sometimes you have to make them see reality.

I know it is hard...I worry about my son too! I worry about his anger....but I have told him if he every raised his hand to me ...then that is the end...and he knows I am serious...he is 13 1/2 ....I have gotten a lot stronger with him ...it takes a lot from me and we have a long way to go...I do have that have since I put him on Geodon for his anger...it has helped so much!!!

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: lori jennings <lozzy3us (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) my odd child is in trouble Date: Monday, June 29, 2009, 10:24 AM

My 16 yr old son has ODD and everything he does is defiant. It has seemed for a long time that he knows he is doing it and he just tries to see what he can get away with. It started with his grades. He refuses to do his homework. He seems very manipulating. He has figured out the system at school. He will not do any work at school for 2 weeks and then he spends a Sat in detention and gets it all done and just takes a lower grade. He has been on a down hill spiral for a long time and I have been watching him get completely out of control. He seems to think he can just do what ever he wants when ever he wants. We have had him in counseling, we have grounded him, we have taken away his phone, and his vehicle.

This weekend was the final straw-he was supposed to be spending the night with a friend to go help in the field the next day and we got a call a 1:30 in the morning that he had been arrested and put in jail.He had been clocked doing 80 mph and gunned past the first state patrolman and almost hit the next one head on. He had been drinking. He received 5 tickets in all. He was released to us but his attitude bothers me. He doesn't seem to get that there are consequenses to his actions. His statement was that at least people will know me. We are making him sell his vehicle to help pay for his court costs and lawyer. This is hard but the bright side is that he won't be able to drive so he won't have any freedom. Sorry to ramble but I am overwhelmed and very stressed.

Lori