Hello. New to group

[Guest guest]

Hi all. My name is and I am a mother to five. My youngest ds

(actually my only bio ds) was recently diagnosed with AS. Of course I have

known that he is an aspie for at least the last seven years. He is 12 now and

it's sad to think it took me this long to get his doctor and his school to take

notice.

This official diagnosis is bittersweet, because while it is great to finally

be able to explain to people why my kid is different it also means he gets less

services than when people thought he was just mentally ill. I found out that

our county mental health system is not equipped to deal with developmental

delays. His therapist has been doing home visits for almost 2 years and felt

like a total failure because she could not get through to him. Of course now

that she knows he has AS she feels a little bit better knowing that the reason

her therapy was ineffective is because she has no training in working with these

kids.

Our local regional center will not work with my ds because they say they

have no funding for high functioning, verbal with AS diagnosis.

I desperately need some support and nobody wants to give it to me. Last

month my son had a meltdown at bedtime and he screamed so loud my new neighbors

called the cops. They came in and took me away in handcuffs (later to be

released and cleared of any charges). Child protective services came and talked

to me and all my kids and realised there was no abuse in the home. When I told

them my story about how much difficulty I am having with my son and how

desperately I need help they were amazed. They had a big meeting where they got

together with several other agencies to discuss how to best serve and my

family, and at the end of the meeting they came up empty handed. They are used

to dealing with children who are being abused or neglected and he clearly is

not.

has a very high IQ, is in the GATE program at school and yet barely

makes passing grades because he can't follow his teachers and doesnt pick up on

cues from peers about what he should be doing. behaves fairly well at

school (or has been behaving THIS year) but then practically melts down at home

daily. He tells " jokes " that are not funny repeatedly, he interrupts when

others are having conversations, he talks to people from another room (not yells

like most kids, just talks) or he will talk when the water is running loudly or

another noise, and he doesn't understand why people can't hear him. He really

fails to pick up on non verbal cues of any kind. If I am on the phone and he is

trying to talk to me and I ask him to be quiet he just gets in my face and

whispers. Same thing if I am trying to read or listen to something that

requires my concentration.

He still gets into anything and everything, like a toddler. And he tries to

" fix " things. I have had so many electronics and household fixtures destroyed

because he has attempted to fix or improve them even though there was nothing

wrong with the device to begin with. He gets up in the middle of the night and

will just start talking to me not understanding that I am sleeping and he has no

concept of time. He wets himself every night and cannot feel the moisture on him

in the morning. He has no understanding that pee still stinks even after it

dries. He thinks that if it's dry it isn't there anymore.

He throws tantrums (like huge ones) and he can get quite violent. I have to

work Saturdays and Sundays from 6:00 am till 2:30 pm and I have no childcare

during this time. The kids are home on their own and my dd who is the youngest

has to take care of ds (my step sons are only with my one weekend a month). She

has to make his breakfast and lunch for him. He only knows how to make nutella

on bread or cereal. She calls me ever five minutes wheil I am at work because he

has done something against house rules and sometimes he hits her.

I am being told that the only way for me to get any real help with is

for him to do something terrible and then he would be thrown into the juvenile

justice system (they are no eqipped to deal with developmental delays either)

Anyways I thought ifm I can't get any support from my community why not

reach out to the online community. This way maybe I can stay sane.