Intro-long :)

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

My name is Pam, I have two boys-D 11 and J 12. D was diagnosed by two seperate

doctors this past summer with Aspergers. The possibility was brought to our

attention back in 2005, but it has been a struggle since then to have anyone

willing to listen to us or the few that agreed with that dx. For 5 years of

school he was labeled from " just a bad kid " , to emotionally disturbed..along

with the alphabet soup that never quite fit but was the current staff's best

guess-bipolar, adhd, ocd, odd, all the way to schizophrenic, explosive

personality disorder, and antisocial personality disorder. UGH.

In the beginning, we were clueless, and trusted " professionals " would give us a

proper dx and we could move on. Obviously that didn't happen lol. D struggled

through regular ed in first grade with no IEP or accomodations at all, then

entered a partial hospitalization school for the next year and a half. We were

given assurance their Dr. there could dx him and get these " behaviors " taken

care of. The Dr. there DID agree to consider Aspergers, and also sent him for an

EEG. When this came back abnormal, we were referred to a respectable children's

hospital for further testing. Unfortunately, the Dr. there sat me down and

lectured me on how he was sick of parents trying to blame bad parenting and

their children's bad behaviors on brain abnormalities, and dismissed me. For

fear of physically hurting him lol I walked away, and I think it was then that a

part of me gave up on anyone ever believing me, or in him.

Well....about 12 meds later (6 at the same time in the end), with absolutely no

improvement, but plenty of side effects and at that point dx of bipolar, I

joined a group for parents of bipolar children and learned of diet and

supplementation helping some of these kids. We started the Feingold diet, weaned

him off of all meds, and began supplements.

Within 2 weeks we got a call from the psychiatrist telling us " whatever you're

doing at home, keep doing it " . His behaviors had improved dramatically, and we

had just begun. By the time school started, they were talking discharge. At this

point I was also learning much more about Aspergers and KNEW this was the

correct dx. I approached our psychologist about it, but he told me he wasn't

qualified to make that dx, though he did agree with it. He suggested that I

should try using techniques for Aspergers on my own, which we did, and which

basically got us to...at least the most " normal " we had ever been. Days were

tolerable, I wasn't bruised or crying or having panic attacks, etc.. He also

began being able to participate in sports, and other activities. Now, only the

school setting was a big problem.

In third grade he entered emotional support for 3rd and 4th grade, where he

made great progress with good understanding teachers. In 1 1/2 years he was

suspended several times, but went from 100% es, down to only 40 minutes a day in

the es classroom. He had to transfer to another school for 5th grade (these are

all out of district placements because my district has no es). Well, it was a

nightmare. Under a month into school our new director moved him back to es 100%

of the day, he was abused emotionally and at times physically, kept in the

classroom with no opportunity to leave, even though his classmates were, for 7

hours a day. He wasn't allowed to speak to anyone, even his TSS, during recess

time or lunches. He didn't tell me about most of this for a couple months, and

the explanation I got from the school was that he was choosing to behave this

way and they would " fix " him.

The next day I called an attorney, with whom we finally filed due process, and

got an independent eval. from a neuropsych and a psychiatrist in the

Philadelphia area. Both of them diagnosed him with Asperger's, and also found a

learning disability and mental giftedness. Once again my district wasn't

prepared for him, so we were lucky to be able to have him attend a private

school in a high functioning autism classroom where he is now. The progress in

under two months has been amazing, but even though I " knew " for years this is

what he has, actually having the dx and knowing now has kind of thrown me into a

whole new world. It really felt like relief to have the dx. Of course it's not

what I WANT for my child, but neither is bipolar or schizophrenia. At least now

I feel like we can move forward, but wish so much I could have gotten this all

going earlier.

So here I am....having known for 5 years that D has Aspergers, but newly

dealing with other people actually accepting it and agreeing with me. It's

amazing how some people's tunes change so quickly, while others are still so

ignorant. Both irritate me honestly, if that makes sense to anyone. D loves his

new school, but now is also getting therapy for the issues that the school

brought upon him last year.

Well, sorry for probably the longest intro ever lol. I've only had time to read

a few posts, but it is so comforting already to see other people saying the

things I have thought, and some things I've felt guilty for feeling, and to know

that there are other people out there who just GET IT. D is a handful, my life

and lifestyle has changed because of him, I still cry, and stress....but he is

also an absolutely unique and amazing person, one who I am very very lucky to be

able to say I am the mother of.

Pam