Need Mommy/Daddy opinions. Aspergers?

[Guest guest]

My daughter, Lucy, is almost four years old. She has always been quirky and has

had some sensory issues since she was very young. Her most difficult sensory

problem is an extreme oral defensive issue. She couldn't eat solid food until 14

months. I'm talkin a cheerio would cause her to gag. Other than that she was

just quirky and cautious. No slides, swings, screamed in the car, did not like

to get dressed, etc. Lots of sensory things. She developed normally otherwise.

Pointed, waved on time. Crawled and walked on time. She spoke in full sentences

at her 2nd birthday. Her favorite movie at 18 months was Winged Migration and

she could name 25 birds by sight at that age. We just thought she was smart.

About 6 months ago we started a co-op preschool. Within a month all of her

sensory problems got much worse, her sleep was disrupted, she became very

constipated and started to get very upset every time we would need to leave the

house. We weren't sure what was going on but we decided to pull her out of

school since that seemed to trigger the issue. Since this a co-op preschool I

was with her the entire time and was sure there was not a tramatic event. (I am

a stay at home mom by the way) Sure enough a few weeks at home helped the

problem. Everything seemed to regulate. She still had her sensory problems but

they were managable. After a month we decided to try the school again. In A few

weeks all the same " flare ups " came back. At this point I spoke to the teacher

about what was going on. I mentioned to her that I had looked up Asperger's and

asked her opinion. She agreed that Lucy fit many of the criteria and referred to

her as " high functioning " .Very difficult to hear.

I took her to the pediatritian who assured me that Lucy did not have Asperger's.

Relief...She said she was way too engaging for that. She sent us to a

Psycologist who said Lucy has anxiety. She bites her nails, grind's her teeth,

gets constipated, still doesn't want to leave the house. The ped also sent us to

a speech therapist since her oral problems are still signifigant. The speech

therapist was with her for about 10 min before asking if we had heard of

Aspergers. She said she was seeing some ritualistic behaviors, resistant

behaviors, pragmatic speech issues and a bit of the " little professor " thing.

She has referred us to a developmental specialist and a behavioral specialist.

She said the food issues are all behavioral. We are currently waiting for the

developmental specialist to contact us with an appointment.

So...I am questioning everything everyone tells me at this point, even myself!

I've always thought Lucy was very engaging but I am beginning to notice that she

will only engage when it's on her terms. It is difficult to have a two way

conversation with her. Is this typical of Aspergers? It's very difficult at

times to get her attention or get her to look at my face but if I work at it she

usually will do it. (I had her hearing tested when she was two) She does engage

in imaginative play with dolls but it's usually acting out what she has seen on

tv. Does that count? It is typical for Asperger's kids to have good days and bad

days. meaning one day they seem very in tune/connected and other days in their

own world? She likes to play with other kids but only if they will play what she

wants, She seems unable? to join their games. More than one kid overwhelms her.

She also gets stuck on something and I can't distract her or reason with her.

For example, her wand broke and she wanted me to fix it. I said sure as soon as

her sister woke up from her nap we would walk to the store and buy some glue.

She broke down in tears and just kept saying " but I want it to be fixed now " I

repeated what I had told her and it was as if she was unable to process what I

was telling her. She was so stuck on what she wanted. Is this an Asperger's

trait? I've also noticed she says sorry all the time for things I am would never

get upset with her for...spilling some water or something. I am wondering if

this is because she cant identify anger? I have heard Asperger's looks differn't

in girls so I thought this might be the place to find out. I'm sorry for the

length and would appreciate any thoughts you might have.