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My daughter who is 14, is having trouble knowing how to connect with girls her

own age. She OVER hugs, or acts really immature and I can see other kids shy

away from her. I try to talk her through situations, like don't get over

excited, and don't hug someone to much, but then she looks at me like I am

negative or I am the one who is to much. Any suggestions?

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Our daughter who is 8 (will be 9 in April) sounds identical to your daughter, except we did get her to stop the hugging, finally. I'm afraid as she gets to your daughters age her immaturity will really stand out and the other kids will shy away from her also and she won't have many friends. The future makes me really nervous. My husband says we'll deal with it when the time comes and that maybe it won't be as bad as we think.

She loves to hugs us at home and everyday she colors pictures for us and says she made it for us because she loves us so much. I always smile and say "I love you too and thank you".

She spends 99% of her time drawing and cutting out papers and giving them to us daily.

So how was your daughter and school from the time she started up until now?

~*

In a message dated 3/28/2011 9:18:38 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, imalwaystyping@... writes:

My daughter who is 14, is having trouble knowing how to connect with girls her own age. She OVER hugs, or acts really immature and I can see other kids shy away from her. I try to talk her through situations, like don't get over excited, and don't hug someone to much, but then she looks at me like I am negative or I am the one who is to much. Any suggestions?

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Can another adult or young adult talk to her? Are there any girls who are a little bit older say 16 that can work with her? What about a social skills group or speech in school where they can use soical stories?

J

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: <imalwaystyping@...> Sent: Sun, March 27, 2011 7:41:39 PMSubject: ( ) Teen friends

My daughter who is 14, is having trouble knowing how to connect with girls her own age. She OVER hugs, or acts really immature and I can see other kids shy away from her. I try to talk her through situations, like don't get over excited, and don't hug someone to much, but then she looks at me like I am negative or I am the one who is to much. Any suggestions?

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My daughter is very silly with me too, and I tell her over and over

it's ok you act like this with me, but girls your age want to act

cool so if you act like that you won't fit in.

She had a sense of humor about it, she put tissues in her bra and

said Mom do you really want me to fit in (some of the teens

in her class where low cut shirts) ...we had a good laugh.

My daughter can cope with a few of her cousins and in that one

setting she can join in on their conversation, she feels safe

and has stopped the hugging stuff. I have had to say to

my niece ... do you still like hugging you

and she said no I don't like being hugged any more

(and her little sister said " good to know " )

and that seemed to tone it down.

But the bigger problem is not toning down this one problem

but helping her fit into a same age peer group, she

is just too immature in many ways. I have her lunch

facilatated, she has something to do almost every day

of the week, she found trying to fit in at lunch painful.

At a family party her cousins and her were watching

Yogi Bear and she laughed louder and harder than anyone

else (4 other cousins all around her age) ...I was

not going to say anything about this behavior. The

other girls were watching but also checking their

cell phones .... I am not going to have her try

to mimick that behavior too.

I do try to make sure my daughter knows what the other

girls are talking about, I put on some of these

reality shows and we talk about it, she is familar

with music artists even the ones that use bad langauge,

but it is going to be hard to fit into groups.

My daughter has some more serious issues, like having a

meltdown about once a day from stress build up.

School refusal and NLD learning issues.

Overall she is a very sweet girl and if I can get her

emotional issues treated, I think she can cope with

social issues with support from the adults in her

life.

best wishes to you,

pam

>

> My daughter who is 14, is having trouble knowing how to connect with girls her

own age. She OVER hugs, or acts really immature and I can see other kids shy

away from her. I try to talk her through situations, like don't get over

excited, and don't hug someone to much, but then she looks at me like I am

negative or I am the one who is to much. Any suggestions?

>

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