Getting ready for 7th grade......................... any ideas?

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone........... I really need some support, or advice from parents who

have older kids and survived middle school.

My son is 12, going into 7th grade. Last year was obviously his first year in

middle school. It was a challenge, but the teachers and counselors were great.

When he had trouble opening his locker, getting around the crowds, etc, they

gave him a private locker in the special ed. class, that didn't lock, so he

could have a much easier time using a locker. When he didn't want to change in

front of all the other boys, they let him change out in the nurses bathroom, and

did it fairly discreetly. He'd just drop off his gym bag in the office in the

morning, then during PE, he'd go into the office, grab his bag, use the bathroom

to change, and slip into class, right across the hall. The boys hardly noticed

that he wasn't changing in with them. But, some did notice and asked why he got

special priveleges.

Now, this year, we are having problems with transportation. Due to budget cuts,

he may not get bussing. We moved, so if he stays at this school, it's " school of

choice " and we may be responsible for transporting him. We're pretty hard off

financially, and I don't know if our cars would survive the extra travel, as

well as us being able to afford the extra gas money. We are changing his IEP

from " LD " back to " AS. " Will that make a difference in whether they have to

transport him or not? Changing him to another school right now would be so hard

for him, and I just can't do it to him. He would really struggle! Are there

special allowances when the IEP is changed, for bussing services? He is already

freaking out about it, and counting days til school starts, and every time we

drive by his school, he says " There's my school................... I hope. "

(He's our little human GPS system, and every time we travel, he tells us places

we pass. " There's the library. " " There's my sisters school. " " There's the

pizza place. " )

Transportation issues aside, what should I do about PE? I told him that the boys

all change in the locker room, and that he should do the same. He's really

noticing that he's different from the other kids, and so I tell him that if he

wants to fit in more, that he could try changing with them. He absolutely

refuses! This is a tough one. Puberty has hit. And he is very developed. And he

hates the fact that his body is changing without his permission! Should I just

let him change apart from the others again, and have him receiving special

allowances the other boys don't get? Some do notice, and ask why he doesn't have

to change in the locker room like the rest of them. Should I make him change

with the boys? What if the school won't let him change apart from them, for

whatever reason, and he had to change with them? How do you get your son to

strip in front of others and not freak out doing it? There is no special ed.

person to help him in there. What if he gets bullied? The boys locker room is

just this major fear..................... for both of us. It's a place a mom

can't get to, if her son gets in trouble. Sounds weird, huh? I can help him

anywhere else, but not there. What do moms do about the locker room situation?

BTW, do any moms have any ideas about how to get sons to stand up and pee? He

has no intention, and again, that makes him stand out among his peers. We have

no male authority figures at home. No brothers. Grandfather won't help. Does it

matter? I know he's not going to blend in with all the kids, all the time.

Should I pick the most important battles, and let the others go for now?

And the most important battle right now.............. what if they won't bus him

to the school of choice? What if we're given the ultimatum of drive him, or

change schools? The stupid part of this, is that he has to start out at the

school he had last year. Then, if they decide not to transport him, they change

schools AFTER he's already started the one he wants to be in. That's really

stupid, I think. But that's what they told us last year. Should I change schools

and make him tough it out? Do I give in and drive and hope we can afford it? Do

I switch to homeschooling? I just can't watch him go through this pain again.

(He's switched schools before, due to his IEP and lack of knowledge on the part

of the schools.)

Okay, well I've rambled quite a bit. If anyone could answer some, or any of

these questions, or tell me how your middle school experiences went, it would be

most helpful.

Thank you so much.

Kathy

In Colorado