Spitting

February 28, 2007

Hi,

If you put lemon or soap in my mouth I would spit all over to get it OUT so

why would this work to stop spitting?

I think the FBA is a good idea. Have him watched by a person he doesn't know

as well as the other kids. Heck why should they know they are being watched

too. Let's see who is starting the spitting.

Jeannette

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February 28, 2007

In a message dated 2/28/2007 4:21:32 PM Eastern Standard Time,

angel2cook@... writes:

If you put lemon or soap in my mouth I would spit all over to get it OUT so

why would this work to stop spitting?

excellent point!!

Loree

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February 28, 2007

< putting on my flack jacket and preparing to duck>

If it were me. I would ask them for a two week trial before they do

anything. I am not 100% against a squirt of lemon or nasty tasting stuff

on the tongue or even a taste of Soap IN THIS SITUATION. This is

entirely different to me than the little girl that got the squirt in the

face with water for pushing a stroller. Totally different.

BUT.. I would administer it at home and be 100% consistent with it. Why

at home? Cause you can control the situation. You can make sure it's the

correct liquid and not some chemical concoction or something. YOU can

make sure it does not get in HIS EYES and you can spare him public

humiliation. If it happens at home apply the yucky and when he calms

down simply tell him " no spitting not at home.. not at school " . The

medical mask.. it's a definite NO. You don't want to have him associate

that with anything medical. GOD forbid he needs to wear on one day or

has to have breathing treatments. Besides.. unless they are going to

start making typicals wear " Dunce caps " when they do something bad..

then the mask is out of the question. Our kids don't need anymore social

crap then what they are already going to get. And in this case the mask

= a dunce cap. IMO

My TYPICAL son went through something similar last summer. He was four.

I admit I got frustrated and one day he spit right in my face- got me

right between the eyes and then some. I quietly got a Dixie cup of

water and tossed the water in his face. He was horror stricken.. " Why

did you do that? " he sobbed while dripping towards the towel. I calmly

said. : " Don't get me wet and I wont get you wet ! " He never spit on

anyone again. It was a one time deal. I had tried time outs.. I had

tried rationalizing. I did not want to resort to spitting.. but some

how I had to reach him. I wish I had handled it on a smaller scale.

But.. it worked.

I am not keen on the idea of the teach or the aide doing this just yet.

I think in the wrong hands this type of behavior mod can be abused. I do

not trust the teacher to be consistent.. or for bullies to say he spit

when he did not. So I would ask them for two to three weeks where THEY

do nothing different except maybe tell you when he spits and give him

the time out or what not.. You should not spray or have him taste soap

when they tell you cause the offensive behavior would not be immediate.

If the " punishment " is not immediate then its useless. I would start on

a week end.

This is only ONE idea. I am not saying YOU SHOULD use it or else. I am

just saying if it were me. I do not trust the school based on what you

said. I think they are just looking for way to push him into what THEY

think is best..

Again just me and my opinion. No flames please.

Steph

" We all want progress, but if you're on the wrong road, progress means

doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case,

the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive. "

C.S.

Spitting

My eight year old son has been doing some spitting lately.....I'm

thinking he is doing it for attention, or expressing his frustration

with something. The school is very upset by this behavior and they have

sent me e-mails saying they can " tolerate no further spitting " . I talk

with him about this behavior and sometimes he does it at home and I'm

able to get him to stop by putting him in time out and having a firm

talk with him. The school has requested they be able to try 2 things to

stop this behavior. #1: A small spray bottle of a sour liquid (lemon

juice) to spray in his mouth when he spits or #2 Make him wear a medical

mask when he spits.

I think that the more attention they pay to this behavior, the more he

will keep doing it. He has gone through little quirks like this before,

usually with words though, where he gets stuck on a word or phrase for a

few months and it just has to run its course.

We have his IEP next week, and the e-mails from the teacher have been cc

to the superintendent and I have a feeling they are gearing ammunition

to get him out of his regular class situation (He is in 1st grade w/1-1

aide). It's almost like my son is under the watchful eye of all of his

classmates, the aide, the teacher, and others so that when he does do

something negative, EVERYONE points it out, and he isn't verbal enough

to let us know why he does things. I don't want him labeled as having

behavior problems when actually they just may not know how to identify

why they are occurring.

Our district recently announced they are wanting to eliminate the 1-1

aides and create a special ed classroom, which they believe will save

money, and also make them money by taking in students from other

districts.

Any suggestions or ideas?

Thanks,

Jill

(Mom to Isaac 8, DS and Lydia, 14)

February 28, 2007

True.. I suppose it depends on the kid.. but I sure would not want the

teacher doing it.

I too think there is something else going on. Like the one child who

was getting blamed for the hitting. I did not know about FBA.. that

sounds like a great idea. So what is it like a " secret agent " who

watches in the back ground? And assesses the situation? That is a

terrific idea. ~ Steph

" We all want progress, but if you're on the wrong road, progress means

doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case,

the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive. "

C.S.

Re: Spitting

Hi,

If you put lemon or soap in my mouth I would spit all over to get it OUT

so why would this work to stop spitting?

I think the FBA is a good idea. Have him watched by a person he doesn't

know as well as the other kids. Heck why should they know they are being

watched too. Let's see who is starting the spitting.

Jeannette

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May 1, 2008

OK, I'll take my chances of getting flamed :-)

Since it's when he's irritated or mad, it would be ideal to find

something calming that would soothe the mad/irritated behavior, and also

the spitting. Redirection, distraction, etc. All good and valid, yet

frequently don't work quickly enough (IMHO) for something like spitting

or biting... these get to be habits, and people don't want their kids to

play with kids who bite or spit :-) Not what we want for any of our

kids.... " Oh, don't play with Susie... she bites other children. "

I have done the following exactly three times in my life.... once for

each child. All were younger (probably about 4 for my biter, 6ish for

my 2 spitters). All were given MANY warning about " spitting (or biting)

is not OK " , timeouts, loss of TV, etc. When that was unsuccessful, they

were told that the next time they spit, I would put soap in their mouth

and then they would HAVE to spit, but it would be yukky.... really

yukky. Of course, there was a next time, and a TINY dab of liquid soap

on the spitter's tounge caused some rather foamy, unpleasant spitting

into the bathroom sink. When the drama was over, we had a talk about

how spitting is NOT OK, even if you were mad (becasue Sammy was a mad

spitter..... like you, don't have any idea where she got this from.)

The point is, for all my girls, it was a one-time punishment that has

worked. My mad spitter I had to be reminded a couple times.... " do you

want to spit soap again? " , but I've never had to do it again, and it

seemed like the spitting/biting was a habit, and once the habit was

broken, it was on to something else (like slamming the bedroom door when

you are mad, LOL) Hate the door slamming, but it's better than

spitting! Now we've moved on to " the door is a privilege.. slam it and

lose it " , which has also been effective..... Slammer Sam (our spirited

child) still has a long way to go, but she doesn't want to lose her

door, so she's getting better and more in control every time.

, mom to (12), (10 DS), and Sammy (8)

Connie wrote:

> Anyone have ideas to stop spitting? Our 9 year old has been doing this

> a while when he is mad. It really need to stop. He does it at home,

> school, anywhere he is irritated. Such a nasty thing and we don't know

> where it got started.

> Thanks for any ideas.

> Connie, mom to Ben 9 yrs

>

May 1, 2008

Great idea, ! I had my mouth washed out with soap when I was a

kid (primarily for saying naughty words) and it worked on me. I've

used it with my own kids. It works. For biters, I just bit them back.

Put a stop to the biting right away.

granny, mother to four great grownups

On Thu, May 1, 2008 at 10:55 AM, Kerrigan

<leslie-kerrigan@...> wrote:

>

> OK, I'll take my chances of getting flamed :-)

>

> Since it's when he's irritated or mad, it would be ideal to find

> something calming that would soothe the mad/irritated behavior, and also

> the spitting. Redirection, distraction, etc. All good and valid, yet

> frequently don't work quickly enough (IMHO) for something like spitting

> or biting... these get to be habits, and people don't want their kids to

> play with kids who bite or spit :-) Not what we want for any of our

> kids.... " Oh, don't play with Susie... she bites other children. "

>

> I have done the following exactly three times in my life.... once for

> each child. All were younger (probably about 4 for my biter, 6ish for

> my 2 spitters). All were given MANY warning about " spitting (or biting)

> is not OK " , timeouts, loss of TV, etc. When that was unsuccessful, they

> were told that the next time they spit, I would put soap in their mouth

> and then they would HAVE to spit, but it would be yukky.... really

> yukky. Of course, there was a next time, and a TINY dab of liquid soap

> on the spitter's tounge caused some rather foamy, unpleasant spitting

> into the bathroom sink. When the drama was over, we had a talk about

> how spitting is NOT OK, even if you were mad (becasue Sammy was a mad

> spitter..... like you, don't have any idea where she got this from.)

>

> The point is, for all my girls, it was a one-time punishment that has

> worked. My mad spitter I had to be reminded a couple times.... " do you

> want to spit soap again? " , but I've never had to do it again, and it

> seemed like the spitting/biting was a habit, and once the habit was

> broken, it was on to something else (like slamming the bedroom door when

> you are mad, LOL) Hate the door slamming, but it's better than

> spitting! Now we've moved on to " the door is a privilege.. slam it and

> lose it " , which has also been effective..... Slammer Sam (our spirited

> child) still has a long way to go, but she doesn't want to lose her

> door, so she's getting better and more in control every time.

>

> , mom to (12), (10 DS), and Sammy (8)

>

> Connie wrote:

>

> > Anyone have ideas to stop spitting? Our 9 year old has been doing this

> > a while when he is mad. It really need to stop. He does it at home,

> > school, anywhere he is irritated. Such a nasty thing and we don't know

> > where it got started.

> > Thanks for any ideas.

> > Connie, mom to Ben 9 yrs

> >

May 1, 2008

This made me chuckle as yesterday when I picked my son (10 yo) up from school -

I was informed that he had decided to start spitting on the kids in his 3rd

grade class. He had had a timeout in the principal's office for school

punishment and then last night he lost TV and his Wii - oh and we cancelled

dinner with our friends. My mom suggested soap but I had decided to try the

" loss of privileges " route 1st along with having a friends husband speak to him

about spitting and a little issue he has with telling me he doesn't have to

listen to me. (it's an ex-husband issue more than my son's - his daddy tells him

he doesn't have to listen to me).

The fun of being a parent - you have to have a consequence for the child but it

also punishes you. Still wouldn't trade it for the world.

Have a great day and thanks for the help.

Marcia