Mold covers campus; administration denies problem - St. 's College

[Guest guest]

March 27, 2001

Mold covers campus; administration denies problem

Carly Forton

If you have walked to class in Anne Arundel or Kent Hall recently, or if you

live in Calvert, you may have noticed something odd about this area of

campus. A sort of greenish-black substance seems to be covering all

buildings and roads on this part of campus. At least, that's what students

are saying.

Several weeks ago, contractors renovating Calvert Hall noticed mold growing

on recently installed sheet rock. At this time The Point News reported that

the administration claimed they would take care of the problem as soon as

possible and that the mold was not a health hazard. The campus community

was, of course, relieved to hear this and felt secure in the knowledge that

the problem would be taken care of.

Now, though, it appears that this problem was not handled properly by the

administration. Any student walking in the older area of the campus can

plainly see the green and black mold covering almost every surface. One

sophomore student, a resident of Calvert, explained, " I noticed this stuff

creeping out of the windows in the basement of Calvert before Spring Break.

When I got back a week later, it was everywhere! Then, I tried to go to town

a few days later and realized that my car had been covered in this

disgusting green s#@t. " Another student, a junior on the lacrosse team

voiced his concerns, " Like, I hope this stuff doesn't cover the game field

or anything, cuz that would f*@!in' suck. I mean, we've got a game tomorrow.

If it's cancelled because of the mold I might have to do something

constructive. "

When asked what would be done to combat the aggressive mold coverage of half

of the campus, President Maggie O'Brien looked around wildly and replied,

" What mold? I don't see any mold. " This, despite the fact that her office

walls were covered in something that looked suspiciously like mold and not

at all like wallpaper. She then continued, " Can't we talk about something

else? Have you seen our new college seal? Have I told you about the tilde?

Isn't it neato? "

While the administration denies the problem, students, on the other hand,

feel a little differently. A senior biology major explained, " I thought I

would conduct a little experiment using the mold so I stood still for

several hours outside of Anne Arundel in the herb garden to see if the mold

would envelop humans as well as buildings and cars. I guess I should have

thought that out a little more, cuz it covered my legs and won't come off

now. " The student continued on to say that he went to the health center for

advice on how to treat the mold and they told him that nothing was wrong

with him.

While the health center may inform students that the mold is harmless and

nothing to worry about, the Point News would like to assure our readers that

they don't know what they're talking about. Indeed, we feel that there is a

genuine conspiracy at work here and that all staff members are denying the

presence of the mold for some unknown reason. Thus, we advise all students

to not stand still while outside as the mold may begin to leech onto your

skin and cause you ungodly harm and irreparable damage. We know that this is

a possibility as our Editor-in-Chief was sadly hospitalized after stopping

on the path outside of the Campus Center to chat with a professor. He was

quickly covered in mold and seems to have lost the ability to speak. Again,

we stress that no one is sure what this mold is capable of doing and that it

may affect different people in different ways. One freshman, ahem,

" first-year " girl summed up the situation by screaming, " AHHHH! The killer

mold is going to get me! Help! " The Point News wholeheartedly agrees with

her analysis of the situation.