Pieces of Me

[Guest guest]

Hi Everyone!

I have no idea where I got this or who wrote it, but as I was going through some paper work yesterday, this fell out. After reading this to Wayne, he asked me when I wrote this? I told him, I didn't write it, but it easily could have been written for me.

Here I am for all to see .............................................................................................. The shredded broken side of me ............................................................................ Pieces I have saved through time ............................................................................ I placed them here to make them mine ................................................................

Don't touch my heart, you'll feel my pain ............................................................ Of the hopes, the dreams, the childhood slain .................................................. Don't reach for me, don't touch my tears .......................................................... Don't get to close, you'll know my fears .............................................................

I'm trying to mend my soul ....................................................................................... To help the child within me grow ............................................................................. To let her know the past is gone ............................................................................. We're in the now where we belong ........................................................................

Please look beyond the broken glass ..................................................................... Beyond the torture tear-filled past ...................................................................... Beyond the shattered life you see ......................................................................... Look "within," 'til you find me ...................................................................................

Most of you know by now my husband's recent diagnosis of Multiple Myeloma and we can't thank you enough for your prayers.

My husband and I are still praying that someone will (after four yr's and seven months) decide to do their job and grant me my SSD (before my husband is too weak to travel). With what little time he has left, wants to spend it with his children and grandchildren. Which means we would be relocating back to Nevada and close to the VA Hospital in Reno. The Federal Judge reviewed my case, found discrepancies and remanded it back to the Hearing Judge (which is only a delay tactic) and my Attorney here in Missouri said, "When a Federal Judge remands a case back to a Hearing Judge, it takes priority over other SSD cases. But nothing is happening with mine, because the court hasn't received the remand order from the Federal Judge at this time." I was told though, "If I was to be evicted or have my power shut off, my case could then be expedited (or if there was a deminished change in income)." Yet I informed my Attorney I would not allow myself to be evicted or have my power shut off just to expedite my case, but seeing as how my sole income is my husband's SSD (which will end upon his passing), would like to know if the system wants his Death Certificate before they do their job, or do they want a letter from his Doctor stating he's terminal? I guess I'm still angry that the Rheumatologist the State of Missouri sent me too last year could lie in his report about an exam he never did, then state "I'm an extremely talented actress," which effected Social Security's decision to deny me again. And even though (three months later), my MRI not only showed spots with two appearing demylinating in the frontal lobe of the brain, it also showed degenerative disc disease of the cervical spine, as the disc's are pressing and flattening my spinal cord.

So much pain has been brought into my husband's and my life, from people that have used laws to break laws, so as to destroy my credibility. And they did a wonderful job. But my husband is one of the most wonderful human being's I have ever known, believing in me when no one else would, encouraging me when I wanted to give up, and always reminding me that "Love" is the only thing that matters. And though I'm watching this man die a little bit each day, he harbors no anger or hostility in his heart towards any of those who stripped us of our life, as we once knew it.

I can't imagine life without this man, but for now, please pray for us that God will answer my husband's prayer. My email box is full, but hope to get my messages caught up before long.

Thank you and God Bless each and everyone of you.

Love and Hugs.............Wayne and