Need advice

[Guest guest]

Okay, all, I want your input as to whether I should make this move to Denver. It has created obvious conflict and tension in my family, and if I go, I will not have the blessing of my parents. They think I am making a stupid decision, and will get back to Denver only to experience the same problems (financially) that I had before I started traveling. I know that my mom is also being very selfish because she has this control thing----she had me and my sister out here and I think that helped her to feel needed and wanted. Now, my sister is moving to Austin and I will be leaving this fall. She has no problems with my sister going to Austin, and wishes her well. Now, I have lived in Denver for 13 yrs, and of those 13 yrs, I have lived 12 on my own. Of those 12, 11 yrs I did well for myself. I wasn't able to save lots of money, but then I was living a very upscale life. It was only in 2001 that I had financial problems, and that is when my health problems were peaking, and I wasn't working a lot. But my mom can only think about 2001 and how I struggled. She isn't able to think about the previous yrs and how happy I was, and how I thrived in Denver. She looks at me as a failure in every aspect. She always is telling me "how bright and energetic you used to be, how you had men flocking all over you, how you were so organized and competitive, and you had a wondeful career." She totally looks at me as a failure, and as an embarrassment to them. That is one of the reasons I want to get back to Denver as well, is to put distance between us. When I was in Denver and my parents were in Boston, we got along much better. I think we need that distance to salvage whatever is left of our relationship. Plus you all know how much I long to be back in Denver. I have talked to other people, and they say I need to do what is going to make me happy. But I also have to think that if I make this move to Denver, it could be the very last time I see or talk to my parents again. But if I stay in Tucson to make them happy, I sacrifice my happiness, and will be miserable. And it's not like I am so close to my parents that we do things together all the time. I can count on one hand the number of times we've done things together since I've been here. I know if stay here to make them happy, I will be depressed and I'm certain my health will fail again, as depression and ill health are so well correlated. If I go back to Denver, I will be happy, but I may never speak to my parents again. Plus, all my docs are in Denver and flying back every 2-3 months is going to get expensive. And esp since my fusion may be failing, I will need to see my neurosurgeon more frequently. So, any advice, suggestions, ideas I welcome. I think I've made the decision, but I want to ensure that I've looked at all angles. e