Guest guest Posted October 18, 2002 Report Share Posted October 18, 2002 My husband is in a wedding tomorrow in Chicago and we're going to the airport now. We were supposed to go yesterday but we got in such a terrible fight that I thought that my marriage was over. Chris's parents haven't been very helpful to me since the baby came last year even though thet know I've been in terrible pain. Since my own parents died when I was young, I hoped that they would be there for me. His Mother came to see Dr. Hiatt with me in Phoenix and heard me cry for 45 min. while I told him about my last 3 yrs. of suffering. I haven't received a call from her since I left that day. On top of it, I got death cert. sent to me on both my parents (which was very painful) so that they could use my flight benefits to fly here for free from Phoenix (or anywhere else they wanted) they have never used there benefits since I got the job 4 yrs. ago. I thought that they would fly here to help me. I'm sorry to take up so much room, but I have put my husband in the middle of all this and he is very close to his parents. He called them yesterday (which was his birthday) to ask them why they had not called me at all. His Mother told him that I am very sensitive and she doesn't know what to say to me. His parents are both retired school teachers so I thought they were going to be so great with Quinn. I hope that we talked out everything last night but I did threaten to leave with Quinn which is a joke because I can't even take care of him. I saw an internal doctor about my protocol before and after my surgery and he ordered a bunch of new tests. I know that I want these things out I just want to make sure that I do this detox thing right to get better! Not to mention that I've had a terrible wek of pain-Thanks for reading this, how do I get over these hurt feelings with my in-laws so that my marriage can stay intact?? He has been so supportive since I've been sick and he says that I shouldn't worry what his parents think but it HURTS! I'm glad that you are all here for me-Daryl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 18, 2002 Report Share Posted October 18, 2002 I want to tell you more but have to get to work, lets talk tonight honey, call me! I will be home later! ----- Original Message ----- From: Daryl Sent: Friday, October 18, 2002 8:22 AM Subject: Re: Chicago trip My husband is in a wedding tomorrow in Chicago and we're going to the airport now. We were supposed to go yesterday but we got in such a terrible fight that I thought that my marriage was over. Chris's parents haven't been very helpful to me since the baby came last year even though thet know I've been in terrible pain. Since my own parents died when I was young, I hoped that they would be there for me. His Mother came to see Dr. Hiatt with me in Phoenix and heard me cry for 45 min. while I told him about my last 3 yrs. of suffering. I haven't received a call from her since I left that day. On top of it, I got death cert. sent to me on both my parents (which was very painful) so that they could use my flight benefits to fly here for free from Phoenix (or anywhere else they wanted) they have never used there benefits since I got the job 4 yrs. ago. I thought that they would fly here to help me. I'm sorry to take up so much room, but I have put my husband in the middle of all this and he is very close to his parents. He called them yesterday (which was his birthday) to ask them why they had not called me at all. His Mother told him that I am very sensitive and she doesn't know what to say to me. His parents are both retired school teachers so I thought they were going to be so great with Quinn. I hope that we talked out everything last night but I did threaten to leave with Quinn which is a joke because I can't even take care of him. I saw an internal doctor about my protocol before and after my surgery and he ordered a bunch of new tests. I know that I want these things out I just want to make sure that I do this detox thing right to get better! Not to mention that I've had a terrible wek of pain-Thanks for reading this, how do I get over these hurt feelings with my in-laws so that my marriage can stay intact?? He has been so supportive since I've been sick and he says that I shouldn't worry what his parents think but it HURTS! I'm glad that you are all here for me-Daryl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 18, 2002 Report Share Posted October 18, 2002 Hi Daryl: How are you? Did you find a surgeon? Have a nice trip. Take care, LM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 22, 2002 Report Share Posted October 22, 2002 Hi Daryl, I just got back from a trip myself, and I was sorry to hear that you had such a difficult time recently. I hope that you and your husband have been able to talk things through. I can completely understand the hurt you feel as a result of the lack of concern on your in-laws part. I have also sometimes felt that my husband's family didn't really show a heck of alot of caring after all that I went through. However, it sounds like you do have your husband on your side, and that is something to be grateful for. If your in-laws are unwilling to give of their time to help you out, then there is not much you can do to persuade them. Perhaps your husband can implore them to help with their grandchild--I would think they would be willing to do that much. Hurt feelings are very difficult to get over and can contribute to deepening depression. I have no magic wand to use when I experience these emotions, except to remember that I have a Savior who loves me, and has also been hurt, and that God will not give me more than I can handle. It helps me to pray, to talk things over with God and tell Him that I hurt and to help me overcome any emotions that are not productive in my life. Especially when I start to feel sorry for myself, I realize that not everyone in this world is capable of bearing others burdens, and that the only one able to carry mine with me is Jesus. It is actually liberating to know I don't have to depend on any others. But Daryl, I also realize that you are in much pain, and you need assistance with your child. I wish I knew what to say--I can only hope that your in-laws will come around to be there for your child at least, and to help with his care. And yes, sometimes we need to just let go and not worry about what others think. It can be hard, but it can be done if you realize that you can't take their faults personally. Maybe they won't help because they don't know how they can, and if they are unwilling to, then just recognize that they have shortcomings like everyone of us does. Maybe they feel no obligation because they are retired and don't want to make any commitment to anyone else. It makes life harder having relationship difficulties, but everyone has them. We all lack perfection, so these things are just a part of life. Maybe you can call them and talk with them about your feelings and see if that will help clear some of the issues up. If you don't feel it is appropriate to do that, then focus on your relationship with your husband, and let him know you are trying to do everything that you can to make your marriage good within the confines of your illness. I am sure he will understand that and maybe relay that to his parents. I hope this has helped somewhat--I hope you had a nice time in Chicago! love, Patty ----- Original Message ----- From: Daryl Sent: Friday, October 18, 2002 7:22 AM Subject: Re: Chicago trip My husband is in a wedding tomorrow in Chicago and we're going to the airport now. We were supposed to go yesterday but we got in such a terrible fight that I thought that my marriage was over. Chris's parents haven't been very helpful to me since the baby came last year even though thet know I've been in terrible pain. Since my own parents died when I was young, I hoped that they would be there for me. His Mother came to see Dr. Hiatt with me in Phoenix and heard me cry for 45 min. while I told him about my last 3 yrs. of suffering. I haven't received a call from her since I left that day. On top of it, I got death cert. sent to me on both my parents (which was very painful) so that they could use my flight benefits to fly here for free from Phoenix (or anywhere else they wanted) they have never used there benefits since I got the job 4 yrs. ago. I thought that they would fly here to help me. I'm sorry to take up so much room, but I have put my husband in the middle of all this and he is very close to his parents. He called them yesterday (which was his birthday) to ask them why they had not called me at all. His Mother told him that I am very sensitive and she doesn't know what to say to me. His parents are both retired school teachers so I thought they were going to be so great with Quinn. I hope that we talked out everything last night but I did threaten to leave with Quinn which is a joke because I can't even take care of him. I saw an internal doctor about my protocol before and after my surgery and he ordered a bunch of new tests. I know that I want these things out I just want to make sure that I do this detox thing right to get better! Not to mention that I've had a terrible wek of pain-Thanks for reading this, how do I get over these hurt feelings with my in-laws so that my marriage can stay intact?? He has been so supportive since I've been sick and he says that I shouldn't worry what his parents think but it HURTS! I'm glad that you are all here for me-Daryl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 15, 2002 Report Share Posted November 15, 2002 Thanks, Al. I'm feeling even better today. Hopefully the pancreatitis will be a distant memory soon. I'm so glad that you are doing better, and that you're back with us. You might have missed the email, but I am going to be in your neck of the woods soon. said she probably couldn't meet, but Kathy said she might be able to. Maybe you can, too! On Thursday the 21st, I fly in and we're staying at the Swissotel downtown. We get in late, and we're leaving friday morning, but I could meet around 10:30PM if you are both late nighters. (I have a better option on Monday) After that, we're driving to Missouri, and will be back on Monday around midday. We're staying at the Hyatt O'Hare. Monday afternoon would be the best time to meet. Kathy, what do you think? I don't know if you read it, but I did meet with Deb a couple of weeks ago. I went down and saw her in the hospital on her birthday. It was so great to meet her! Her family had a birthday party for her in the hospital, with pizza and lots of balloons. They're really great people, just like Deb. Anyway, I'd love have a mini RA-Support reunion. Of course, it's not the same without Lucy, but we'll still do that in the future. Anyway, let me know if you might be able to make it. And, Kathy, let me know too. , if you change your mind, it would be great to meet you. Lots of love, Carol [ ] Carol Hi Carol, I am glad to hear that you didn't need to stay in the hospital. It's impossible to get any rest there. I am glad to hear that you are feeling a bit better. Hopefully it will be a trend that continues until your 100% Love and hugs, Alan (Al) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 15, 2002 Report Share Posted November 15, 2002 Hi Carol, Thanks. I really hope you start feeling better as well. I would love to meet you. Monday would be my best option as long as work permits. Will you be checking e-mail while on vacation? I would like to be able to tell you either way instead of just showing up. Glad to hear you saw Deb. I really miss her a lot. We will definitely need to have a full blown reunion at some point. A mini one would still be wonderful. Take care Carol, Love and hugs, Alan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 15, 2002 Report Share Posted November 15, 2002 That's great, Alan! I will be checking email, so we can keep in touch that way. I just love putting a face to a name. Kathy, what about you? ? Hope you have a great weekend! Love and hugs, Carol [Carol ] [ ] Re: Chicago trip Hi Carol, Thanks. I really hope you start feeling better as well. I would love to meet you. Monday would be my best option as long as work permits. Will you be checking e-mail while on vacation? I would like to be able to tell you either way instead of just showing up. Glad to hear you saw Deb. I really miss her a lot. We will definitely need to have a full blown reunion at some point. A mini one would still be wonderful. Take care Carol, Love and hugs, Alan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 15, 2002 Report Share Posted November 15, 2002 <PRE>first you need to get better carol!!!! i would really love to try to get to meet you!!! kathy in il Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 16, 2002 Report Share Posted November 16, 2002 Hi Carol, Me too. It would be great getting a chance to meet you personally. Have a wonderful weekend as well. Love and hugs, Alan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 17, 2002 Report Share Posted November 17, 2002 Boo hoo, Carol! Monday still is a bad day for me. I hope you and Al and maybe Kathy can meet! RE: [ ] Re: Chicago trip > That's great, Alan! I will be checking email, so we can keep in touch that > way. I just love putting a face to a name. > > Kathy, what about you? ? > > Hope you have a great weekend! > > Love and hugs, > Carol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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