Mammogram Exercises

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

I love this one. I know that we send this around at least once a year, but

it's valuable because it shows how utterly arcane " modern " medicine is, but

more than that.... the reason why I find it funny, is that it illustrates

with humor how women are degraded in the " practice of medicine. "

Oh, yea, and mammagrams have been shown to be a significant factor in

cancer, ie radiation exposure.

We must find better ways to treat women more humanly, and also,

safely. Mammagrams are not good enough.

Be well,

Mammogram Exercises

As a physician, I thought I would pass this helpful hint to all my women

friends. If this ends up in a guy's mailbox, please give to your

wife/girlfriend/good friend.

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to

worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and

doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared for

the test, and best of all, you can do these simple practice exercises right

in your home.

EXERCISE 1:

Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and the

main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut as hard as

possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five

seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough.

EXERCISE 2:

Visit your garage at 3 AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just

perfect.

Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast

wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car

up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and

repeat for the other breast.

EXERCISE 3:

Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger

into the

room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends

together as hard as you can. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet

next year and do it again.

You are now properly prepared.

[Guest guest]

You forgot the: Have a friend holding 2 toilet

plungers jam them onto the breasts so a good

suction occurs, them pull like hell trying to get

them loose. May have to go to the doctor like

that. best, JR (last reply said MR...mistake).