Evelyn

[Guest guest]

Are you going to be having a flap type reconstruction? I was not aware that this is one of Dr Kolb's specialties, though I guess all the PS's have to know how to do them, anyhow I would love to invite you to share both your story and before and after photos of this procedure, it would be so beneficial to other women with these problems. I really hope you will be able to do this, I realize this will be hard. It is a big surgery, I remember them doing it where I used to work at Stanford, and sometimes the patients would stay over night on the ICU where I worked, they were all very happy with the results. I have not seen to many photos of this, I know Feng has one on her website, of a mastectomy patient with tram flap reconstruction, is this what you will be getting? I am praying for you that it will all come out good and that Dr Kolb will be able to help you not only to look good but more importantly to feel better. I certainly know what it is like to be sick and depressed and suicidal. Agg yuck, the most awful thing in the world isnt it? Hope fully this will bring to you peace and health.

Please let us know about the surgery and when it is so we can pray for you.

Also I am sorry about the fact that sometimes this group seems to have too much stuff on it, it is hard to have a certain format that is pleasing to everyone, and yes, we do chit chat a bit on here, but no one usually minds, and the best thing is that if you don't want to read a post or it doesn't interest you, you can delete it.

Hugs and blessings

----- Original Message -----

From: S. WIlkins

Cc: eckymae@...

Sent: Wednesday, October 30, 2002 9:36 PM

Subject: Explant

Hi All, I've been monitoring this site for about 10 months and have taken the plunge and if nothing interferes, Dr. Kolb will do my explant in Dec. I have begun her silicone protocol.

I did get a surprise when she viewed my records. When I had mastectomy 18 yrs ago, I refused silicone. But she discovered that I have saline with silicone gel and apparently on is ruptured and the other may be contracture and rupture.

It was quite a blow. If I had know I had silicone, I would have been researching it for the past 18 yrs. If I had a choice, I would not have a tiny drop of silicone. What went wrong and what happened to my contract with my Dr. I don't even know the mfg and I never heard of any implant class actions since I thought, "I did not have silicone."

I discovered this only as a fluk when I quit my many meds last Christmas Day when my "pot-head" son accused me of abusing/being addicted to my meds, and my husband stood and did not kick his tail out of the house. The worst of this was feeling betrayed by my husband who did not intervene. After all he lives with me and has for 38 yrs and he should know if "abuse or addiction" was a real concern. My husband has always been emotionally detached and not at all supportive. I felt BETRAYED. But in the final test at the last momemt, he does come through. I went thru "hell on earth" considering all the circumstances surrounding that day, with only a husband that is emotionally detached and not supportive at all. And recovery from that eventful day has been the worst time of my life. I do have a relationship with God and He has brought me through this when I could not do for myself. But to this day I have not seen or talked to my son and his family. Just 2 mos ago he was arrested with 4 lbs (yes 4 pounds) of pot. Guess he'll have lots of time to reflect in prison. For 4 months I took no meds and began a search for some answers to my myriad health problems. I became very suicidal and thought of suicide constantly. I could not sleep and seriously considered inpatient psychiatric tx.

I have been treated for depression since about 1989 and went to counseling for 3-4 months until July. By then I had gathered enough information from your site and links to think maybe my implants could be the culprit that was making my life so miserable. I have bowled for yrs and gave that up due to the nerve/muscle pain and loss of balance. Before this I had a "breakdown" at work and my psychiatrist put me on medical leave and told me to apply for disability from my job. I spend the years since the late 80s in a major depression with too much stress to keep up with the world news. I never expected that my implants would cause so much trouble. And after I began experiencing all the pain, loss of function, skin problems, brain fog had set in so good that I was not in touch with the world outside my little environment and I was very withdrawn. Got to the point where I didn't go out.....even when I needed to. Basic self-care and grooming were task I had to make myself do sometimes going 2, 3, 4 days without taking care of myself. I finally started back on the Prozac in April because I was ready to die....but I wanted to live.

I have great hopes for recovering in time from some of these physical abd mental problems and returning to my former "self."

I liked Dr. Kolb. And I have read much of her literature and after meeting her I know she and I will get along fine. I do have some questions for her about "en bloc" and the flap. My l985 records revealed I had double lumen implants following mastectomy that were saline with silicone get. I felt so betrayed by my PS...who I had made a point to tell that I wanted NO SILICONE>>>>NONE. He has not responded by my request for my records but I got copies of the records from the hospital. I always figured I would be notified if bad information came to light about the implants. I never thought I would have to get so sick only to learn I had been violated and betrayed by my PS. Now I have no recourse. But I do thank God that I have insurance that I hope will pay for the explants and reconstruction I need ( with no implants of any kind!!!!!!!!!) Thanks for listening.

[Guest guest]

Yeah I tried twice but figured you were busy, sorry we didn't get to

talk. I'm home alone this week if you want to try another evening.

I went off the Prednisone last Thursday, it was making me feel so sick

I couldn't tell what were side effects and what was real. Anyhow it

took 3 days to get that out of my system and am I glad. I actually feel

pretty good.

EVELYN

I saw you called last night my phone was inside and we were working in

yard till dark...sorry.

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