Sara and her Friend

[Guest guest]

Okay guys, that was...truly astounding. I will try, but it might take

me a week or two to return all the *amazingly* supportive and generous

replies I got to my despairing rant.

(If you're just interested in Suzi's Answers, please skip to the

bottom...

And I apologize deeply for that rant, too. I usually try very hard not

to be negative, but lately it's been more difficult than I can ever

remember. Because I feel that I owe a quick explanation -- I have a

21-month-old baby, and she and I fled our house and filed for divorce

(violence-related) last January. I was married to my best friend for

almost four years, and it was crushing to have to leave him because

myself and his baby weren't worth learning to control his temper over.

(We are actually getting along okay, now, though...isn't that funny!) I

lost my job two months later, and for a while we had no home and were

living on people's couches (funny... " couch surfing " used to be fun to

me, but it's SO not fun with a baby!). My mother was kind enough to

give up her apartment and get a smaller one with me and the baby -- I

owe an insane lot to my mother; without her I don't know where we'd be.

Well, the tech market (I'm a professional geek, by trade) is

absolutely HORRID right now thanks to Bush and some slick legislation

that's sending all our jobs overseas, so for six months I couldn't find

a job *anywhere* (because when professionals lose their jobs, they take

all the non-professional jobs too...seriously, Mc's around here

isn't hiring!). Two months ago I managed to get part-time work as a

cashier. It's not enough, not even close, but at least it lets me buy

my own gas and contribute a little to the bills my mom is paying. Still

job-hunting; still no luck.

And now this lovely friend of mine, the sweetest guy I've ever known and

the *only* friend who still talked to me after my divorce (all the other

ones, every single one, sided with my husband and refused to speak to

me), is sick. He's gradually become my boyfriend over about six very,

very slow months. I love him to death, and so does my daughter, and I

can't bear seeing him in pain all the time.

It just feels like too much sometimes; the good AND the bad. I'm sorry

it took me so long to reply, by the way, but I've been having panic

attacks and I felt that taking a few days off email would be wise.

Anyway, we live near Detroit, and as much as this is my home, I was born

and raised here, some days I *really* hate it. People can be amazingly

closed-minded, in and out of the city itself, and there's just about no

public programs (other than drug-rehab, which is everywhere) -- the Big

Three have bled this whole area dry and grey, basically. So to all the

questions about free clinics and local naturopaths and friendly churches

and whatnot...gods, I wish. If there's anything like that near Detroit,

it's probably in hiding from the Unwashed Politicians.

Now, Suzi's answers, and thank you in advance to anyone who can help us.

I already feel indebted to this group for how amazingly supportive

you've been with all my questions and putting up with my depression

lately...I know I'm gonna have to find a way to repay this one, big

time. Hmm...

Anyway,

1 - What " tea " herbs were you looking for?

It would be really nice to have chamomile again; I ran out of that a

while ago. All my other teas were lost in the move (after i left the

house, the ex went through and just destroyed everything, pretty much).

Peppermint would be great, too...and just about anything that's

actually a decent-tasting herbal tea, because I can't buy those here

(except online, which I can't afford), so all I have to drink is the

black & green teas you get in the grocery store. These, as well as

coffee, really upset my friend's stomach, so I'm always looking for

herbal tea I can make him, especially if it's calming for bad nerves

and/or soothing to the stomach.

2 - What herbs do you have on hand?

I have a little bit of echinacea & slippery elm left; they're old but

seem to be okay still. I get fresh garlic & onions, though not organic,

at the grocery store. I have mullein, cayenne, mung beans, cloves,

calendula root, tea tree oil, and black walnut hulls from before, as

well as some of the " basics " like beeswax, glycerin, etc. I know that's

not much, but I really lost most of it, and everything else, when I

moved. *argh*

3 - What herbs were you looking for?

Oh, wow. I know I think almost every day that I wish I had comfrey,

licorice, chamomile, fenugreek, peppermint, more echinacea, lobelia,

marshmallow (I know slippery elm is hard to find, but I've heard

marshmallow root works good in its place), nettles...at this point, I

would take anything that anybody wants to get rid of, basically! If I

don't have a recipe, I'll find one.

4 - What is your mailing addy?

8245 Valley View Circle, #128-B

Westland, MI 48185

5 - How old is the baby?

Heh, she's 21 months, as I said above. But because you all deserve as

much cuteness as she can spare (and she's got loads to spare!), here's

her pictures: http://www.pbase.com/llhm1/marien . She's all kinds of

godsent for me; as much as having her made this whole ordeal harder, I

also don't think I could have gotten through it without her!

I have an appointment for my buddy at the closest thing to a free clinic

we could find, for a week from this Wednesday. His stomach still hurts

him all the time, but it's not debilitating as long as he stays away

from caffeinated drinks (I have no idea why, but hey; if it works--!).

The clinic tells me I need to bring $50-100 with me, though it might not

cost that much...I don't know; he needs x-rays at least, so it'll

probably cost more...but I'll show up regardless of whether I have the

money and see if someone will be kind and cut us a deal. Suzi's

absolutely right; this has gone on too long, and we need to know what

his problem is so that it can be treated. I really, really hope it's

not a hiatal hernia (though Don's right; it sounds like that to me too),

because I'll be hogtied if I can figure out how we'd afford surgery,

other than having him accrue the full bill and then just declaring

bankruptcy.

Oh well, enough of that. THANK YOU a thousand times to everyone who had

an offer or a kind word; I can't get over that, and I owe you all big

time. (Heh, if you're ever in MI and need a computer fixed--!) I will

try, if I get time, to answer more of the emails individually.

THANKS again!!

-ST