Merry Christmas - read lightheartedly

[Guest guest]

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO MUMS OF AUTISTIC CHILDREN

Ok so you have to do the Christmas shopping, you have your list, you

know its going to hurt more than just your purse, and you know you

should've done it either online or in July when there is less people,

music and decorations, around, but you didn't and it's a week before

Christmas.

Grit your teeth and get your child dressed and toothbrushed. You've

been telling them for days you are going to Kmart, you've, reiretated

the list to them and why you are going over and over again, he is

actually excited (the bittersweet sensory experience it is).

Into the carpark 10 minutes before the centre opens, to both ensure

a carpark and less people. Not so, half the carparks are full

already, well hopefully they're all understanding people, because

they're in for an experience they didn't expect.

Grab a trolley so you can strap him in, you want to be able to choose

presents and not have to drop them all and search the carpark for

bodies, or drag a screaming child out from under the shop shelves.

The whole time bribing him with the promise of a fruit salad at the

end, only to have to do it all again tomorrow.

Ok so convinced that sitting in the trolley will get him a fruit

salad for now he is placated, you wheel him into the centre amoungst

the people, yelling happily aaaaah over the bumpy bitumen, and

the " whats that smell " `s past every shop on the way to the

department store, at least ten decibles louder than than anything

else in the centre.

So far so good.

The first ten minutes goes well, you race in quickly past the people

milling in and head for the toy section. Deciding between a my

little pony and a barbie you turn around to see the trolley gone and

your child in the next aisle looking at spiderman webshooters, (arms

make excellent compromise for being in a trolley – god I hope he

hasn't run down any little old ladies), pushing the trolley away to

the next thing on the list, it begins…….

" I want webshooters " , " theyre for bigger boys " I argue, even tho all

of his games are marked 6+ and he knows it (hes 3), its pointless,

the volume escalated " I want. I want . I want " , not to metion the

kicking and biting, attempts to pull the trolley back to the blessed

webshooters using the shelving and screaming " youre and idiot mum " ,

(reminds me of the girl on Willy Wonkas chocolate factory, who turns

into a blue berry). People shake their heads assuming a spolit child

and bad mothering, ahhh if only they knew, anyway you need him to

shut up before someone calls the police so you grab a small superman

and he locks onto that and you get a little more shopping done.

To the checkout, sitting in the trolley yelling " hurry up mum

somebodys coming " , `yes they have to line up too " , I explain. And

this is always when it gets louder, it begins with smelling evey

impulse item at the counter, then moves onto the trying to hide

behind his hands which people find cute until he moves onto

screaming " somebodys looking at me mum, lets get out of here, MUUUUM

MUUUUM YOURE NOT LISTENING TO ME SOMEBODYS LOOKING AT ME " , which,

truthfully I find a little bemusing, as people who smile and try and

say hello get the fright of their lives, I'm busy waving superman

under his nose to focus on, while the line up is waiting for me to

unload my trolley.

Pushing against the trolley, which is desperately trying to escape

the counter, and tickling for distraction (I thank god he is

ticklish), whilst trying to listen to the cashier who is bewildered

at the irrational behaviour, at least you know you're on your way out

of the place.

In the car, perfect child, maybe I should film it so the shopping

centre can play it over the cameras while we are there and I can

say " see he isn't like this all the time " . Truthfully its better

than last year tho, which involved screaming " aaaah, aaaaah aaaaaah "

at top volume the minute we walked into the centre until the moment

we left.

Get home and make a coffee while he is rolling in an unravelled roll

of Christmas paper, using the sticky tape to stick himself up and

make a present out of himself. Sitting down with a coffee, I think,

oh hell I forgot toilet paper " nnnnnnoooooooooo " , oh well maybe we

can use the Christmas paper (hehehe).