A shadow of a Fourth of July

[Guest guest]

for those who appreciate such things at midnight and can see the poetic

injustice of this anecdote

on the eve of our independence day..

Carpe Diem......

or ........................an exercise in irony

I am sitting at a community college orientation yesterday,

my 19 year old ASD son with a co-morbid diagnosis of auto-immune disorder

(NOS...of course)

finally, even if temporarily, has enough energy to take 2 classes, and sit,

for the most part, in decreased pain for

1 1/2 hours.....he has so many possible disorders they fill a binder

he is one of " our kids... "

so he is sitting at orienation, having not been in a class for 3 years, and

the nurse hands out immunizaiton forms,..

but lucky him since he is only a part-time student, he does not have to

have updated immnizations...

the irony is lost on him...he is busy being normal for the hour

he is busy not putting ice on his head or muscle pain block electrodes on

his back,

he is busy thinking maybe he will live better..maybe the pain

and disorientation and obssessive thoughts that come with stubborn viruses,

fungus, bacteria

and a red alert immune system will stay away for this one normal hour in a

normal community college

he is busy being the shadow of the we used to know

the that could run, throw a football, sink a basketball, with his

own brand of slam dunk

the whose superior splinter skills ranked him top in the class...

the that could have at least one friend....one friend...it was a

beautiful thing while it lasted

the irony of his exemption from immunization is lost on this shadow of

,

who cannot do any of those things for very long or without pain now....

whose OCD torments him as deeply as the flares of systemic pain...

whose one friend has long been replaced with a gentler, kinder friend from

Palliative Care......

the irony is lost on him......and that is good

because why should he suffer the despair of irony...

while he can at least, for a short time,

bask in the shadow of his fomer self......................

(true story...variations of which are played thousands of times over, every

day

whether it is a non verbal self injurious child or a phobic, gut inflamed

asperger teen....)

goodnight,

all....carpe diem suzanne