Conflicted about taking a second chemo

September 8, 2010

I posted before about taking the ONE chemo session, and I am doing fine,

somewhat. It got me out of the danger zone and saved my life. To recap

quickly, my tumor was over 8 inches, wrapped around my throat and my jugular and

choking me to death! I was also losing tons of blood due to the tumor being

ulcerated (open) and bleeding.

Anyway, its been 3 weeks and of course the doc is pressuring me to return for

the next of six planned treatments. Initially, I was so happy about having my

life saved and having my tumor shrink about 90% externally that I was fairly

sure I would continue the treatments. I had a few side effects that were not

pleasant, but now I'm looking back and seeing some things that may be permanent

and its got me to wondering if I want to chance undergoing another treatment.

I'm just now feeling good again, sans the stomach problems, and the loss of my

hair from just one treatment. That was extremely bothersome, although I know

its vain - I had a head full of thick long hair and I was extremely sick, but

still, I'm not happy about being darn near bald now. The right side of my body

is weak, don't know why, but I have trouble with my right arm and leg. When I

stand or go upstairs, I have to lead with my left because the right side won't

support me, and I can't raise my right arm all the way up without support.

But like I said, externally, the tumor is nearly gone, however, I can feel that

it is still inside beneath my ear. I was considering doing one more treatment,

hoping it would finish shrinking the tumor completely, but not sure if its worth

the risk. I've been taking Maitake in large doses since I came home. Haven't

resumed my other alternative therapies yet because I didn't want to interfere

with the chemo action. It bothers me still that while the chemo does work on my

tumor, it also destroys so much good inside of me at the same time.

I know I've read of a few people who did chemo once, and then resumed

alternative treatments until they achieved remission. Just looking for

opinions, I guess, I'm really most afraid of the tumor racing BACK if I don't do

another chemo, as was mentioned here recently about the actor Hines.

That statement threw me for a loop, that he took a break from chemo and the

cancer grew and killed him.

Any thoughts?

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