Re: Who recovers, who loses

[Guest guest]

Good to hear from you !

How is that book coming along? Would you consider selling the

incomplete version to members here? 3/4 a pie is better than none!

You recently commented that my personal protocol is... well... sorta

patchwork and homemade, which it very much is. Is there any way to get

some tips from you on how to make it better? Or at least point me down

some better paths?

I would love to come to your clinic, but I am barely scraping by as it

is, so at this time I have to do things on my own.

As far as non-accusatory religions go, my personal favorites are " A

Course in Miracles " (which a lot of AA people eventually gravitate to)

and Zen Buddhism. But I don't think either are very service oriented,

and neither generally have black choirs!

>

> If anyone knows a good service-oriented, non-accusatory religion, let

> me know so I can sign up. Oh, its gotta have a Black choir !!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

What a great post, ! Your words are wise (experience is a good teacher)

and every cancer patient on this list would do well to heed them.

When I was diagnosed I was a very, very negative person even thought I would

have said that I just dealt in “realityâ€. So I slipped very easily into the

victim mentality along with hidden anger. I was fortunate enough to have an

alternative doc who recognized this immediately. He worked and worked and

worked with me in this area. He finally told me that he could get me 85% well

and the other 15% was on me.....learning how to deal with my emotions and then

actually putting that learning into practice. Well, that scared me (didn’t

have much faith in my ability) BUT caused me to work harder. I read everything

he told me to read and I worked on myself (in addition to my program) daily. I

listened to positive tapes and worked on my fears. At one point in one of our

weekly sessions he looked up as said “You still do not REALLY believe, do

you?†Yep, he saw right though me because there was still a bit of unbelief

that I had a difficult time of letting go of. After much more work, I actually

began to allow myself to BELIEVE I would (not only could) get well and sure

enough that’s exactly what happened. I now do what I LOVE to do. My work is

not work, but it is fun and fulfilling……I look forward to every single day!

By the way, I have seen the exact same thing as to who does well and who does

not. I remember that people in my own church stood around with their arms

folded just waiting for one of my tests to show there was active disease. Most

could not bring themselves to say “I don’t understand what you are doing,

but keep up the great work!†I often wonder why it makes people so

uncomfortable to watch one with cancer begin to look healthy when they know the

person has chosen NOT to do conventional medicine. Of course what happens is

that it takes them out of their very comfortable “box†to a place that is

very unfamiliar to them. It is human nature to criticize what we know nothing

about.

One of the most difficult things to do is to “undo†the words of family,

friends and most doctors! Words permeate our soul and mind – the part of us

where our “belief & hope†is kept. Uncharitable or uninformed words can

literally speak life or death to one with cancer. It is very difficult for a

person to focus on getting well when having to deal with the uneducated

“words†of those around him/her. On the other hand, I have also seen some

with cancer who are able to “act†the part of being up-beat and positive.

They seemingly “say†all the right words. Many of these are men although I

have seen quite a few very convincing female actors. However, it doesn’t take

long to realize that these “actors†don’t believe one word that they are

saying because their actions end up betraying them. I think they are trying

desperately to convince themselves of something that their heart has no

intention of believing.

There was a time before my diagnosis when I would have bristled at the mere

mention of an emotional aspect to cancer. In my opinion that was la-la land

reserved for the weird people. See how much work I had to do? ) However,

the power of belief is alive and well even in conventional medicine. Ever watch

sick people walk into the examining room and then watch them come out with a

script in their hand? Their walk and body language is much, much different,

almost up-beat. When a person really believes and has hope that is

nourished……the sky is the limit!

Thanks, , for sharing.

Be Well

Loretta

-----Original Message-----

At 07:02 PM 1/25/2009, you wrote:

I have seen thousands of people with cancer over decades and because

of the nature of my program I get to know many of them quite well. I

constantly search for factors that seem to affect outcomes. Some

factors are obvious: Can the patient afford the requisite meds? How

disciplined is the patient? Is there multiple drug resistance that

would undermine a fresh approach?

When I go over the numbers of people who do extremely well with the

worst cancers, I see a major factor that can't be characterized

better than by saying how upbeat they are. This upbeatness seems to

be closely associated with both their intrinsic nature and often

their religion.

If anyone on the list is shopping for a religion, I can help. Pick

one that emphasizes the positive. I don't think it is beneficial to

dwell on perdition, shame, guilt, or even too much thinking about

spiritual matters. Pick a religion that strongly emphasizes service

to others. Pick a religion with a sense of community -- especially a

community that will support your medical choices. I see a sense of

joy, and humor, and general upbeatness that I don't see elsewhere.

If religions rub you the wrong way, find an organization that you

believe in that stresses service to others even though those services

are largely limited to those within the group. AA jumps to mind. If

your organization or religion doesn't buy into

alternative/integrative medicine, then keep details of your approach

to health very selective.

Another thing to keep in mind is that not all cancer support groups

are created equal. I have had many clients who were virtual refugees

from conventional support groups. They would watch as their

new-found friends would die one by one. Any alternative suggestions

were met with hostility. I think such groups are cults created to

worship physicians and misery. The same is true for some of the

on-line groups.

If upbeatness is not a part of your nature it can still be attained

obliquely through service, but there is one type of upbeatness that

is not in your interest. This is unwarranted ebullience. It is not

in your interest to have your emotions whipsawed by numbers on your

tumor marker tests or any other single parameter. In cancer, things

are rarely as good as they may seem and rarely as bad as they

seem. A certain equanimity can serve you well in patiently assessing

your situation.

Equally important is belief, as this allows you to relax. That

belief can be a belief in an omnipotent God who loves you enormously,

or it can be an unshakable faith in the road chosen, it can even be a

smug belief that you can solve every problem yourself.

I think that loving your work helps inoculate you against serious

disease. We have a 75 y/o immunologist on the board of our center

who has metastatic renal cancer. This was diagnosed four years

ago. He was told he had about a month to live. He is not a good

patient. Quality of life, he says. I think he has cheese with every

meal. He is totally distracted by his work. He flies around the

world giving speeches at immunology conferences, spends time in the

lab, writes papers (some 350 peer-reviewed), and applies for

grants. He and I have set up a new lab to make meds that are

otherwise unobtainable. I think he plans to be on this planet from

here on out. He is one very upbeat man.

I had a case of a woman with breast cancer whose abdomen was rigid

with metastases. She came to Del Mar, CA to do our program, but she

would miss appointments because she was having too much fun

shopping. It was a little frustrating for me. Her cancer just

melted away. I found out later that when she came here she was also

escaping an abusive husband. When she kept her appointments she

would spend much of the time laughing.

There was a woman who came to me last July. She had massive cancers

filling her entire left breast. All her physicians -- both

conventional and integrative -- strongly recommended surgery. She

declined. She said she liked her breasts. This woman has been very

diligent doing the program -- unlike the last woman I mentioned. We

had an ultrasound elastogram done this week and her cancer is almost

entirely gone. What little remains appears mostly benign and cannot

be palpated. She has also lost about 40 unwanted pounds thanks to

the diet. The woman is a nationally known cartoonist and sees the

humor in almost anything.

Who are the losers in spite of winning therapies? First of all those

who want to die. I see this most often among women who were once

very proud of their bodies and have been horribly mutilated by

surgery. I am not talking about a simple mastectomy. There are

bodies that look like they have been through a war zone. These women

fear rejection or have been rejected by their love interest. It is

sad and I have no facile solution.

Passive or lazy people tend to lose and this includes those who are

too philosophical about their cancer. These people need to learn

that they create their own destiny. I am always looking for ways to

light a fire under their tails to get them motivated.

Hostile people tend to lose. I am careful to distinguish whether a

person is argumentative for non-hostile reasons. I once had a woman

whom I thought was hostile but she did very well. You learn from

those cases that you think you are going to win and then lose, and

from those cases that you think you are going to lose and then

win. I analyzed her case: why did she win? It turns out she is a

businesswoman and her arguments were always over money. Her

arguments over money were sincere -- she truly hated to spend money

-- but in retrospect I think there was a strong element of sport in

it. So often truly hostile people want to escape something or hurt

someone. Some people fight to live; I think this woman lived to fight !!!

If anyone knows a good service-oriented, non-accusatory religion, let

me know so I can sign up. Oh, its gotta have a Black choir !!

[Guest guest]

Loretta,

My mother disowned me the day I called her to tell her the brain tumor was gone

(yes, without surgery, chemo or radiation). she just hung up on me and I have

not heard from her in 9 years.

My father, his wife, my brother and sister cut contact with me when I was

initially diagnosed at 23 years old and I did not hear from them for 13 years.

Now, they never talk about my health. They believe this is all a farce.

My mother-in-law shared that she hoped that I would die quickly. My husband's

family never offered any encouragement or support EVER.

It took me years to be able to accept that my fight will be God, my husband, my

children and me. No one else!

This list kept me going for years because I needed to know that the path I was

choosing was similar to others.

Sadly, I did not meet any people with brain tumors that stayed the course.

I still believed and worked hard and here I am, cancer/tumor-free!

Blessings,

Johanne

From: Dr. Loretta Lanphier

Sent: Monday, January 26, 2009 4:39 PM

Subject: RE: [ ] Who recovers, who loses

What a great post, ! Your words are wise (experience is a good teacher)

and every cancer patient on this list would do well to heed them.

When I was diagnosed I was a very, very negative person even thought I would

have said that I just dealt in “realityâ€. So I slipped very easily into the

victim mentality along with hidden anger. I was fortunate enough to have an

alternative doc who recognized this immediately. He worked and worked and worked

with me in this area. He finally told me that he could get me 85% well and the

other 15% was on me.....learning how to deal with my emotions and then actually

putting that learning into practice. Well, that scared me (didn’t have much

faith in my ability) BUT caused me to work harder. I read everything he told me

to read and I worked on myself (in addition to my program) daily. I listened to

positive tapes and worked on my fears. At one point in one of our weekly

sessions he looked up as said “You still do not REALLY believe, do you?â€

Yep, he saw right though me because there was still a bit of unbelief that I had

a difficult time of letting go of. After much more work, I actually began to

allow myself to BELIEVE I would (not only could) get well and sure enough

that’s exactly what happened. I now do what I LOVE to do. My work is not work,

but it is fun and fulfilling……I look forward to every single day!

By the way, I have seen the exact same thing as to who does well and who does

not. I remember that people in my own church stood around with their arms folded

just waiting for one of my tests to show there was active disease. Most could

not bring themselves to say “I don’t understand what you are doing, but keep

up the great work!†I often wonder why it makes people so uncomfortable to

watch one with cancer begin to look healthy when they know the person has chosen

NOT to do conventional medicine. Of course what happens is that it takes them

out of their very comfortable “box†to a place that is very unfamiliar to

them. It is human nature to criticize what we know nothing about.

One of the most difficult things to do is to “undo†the words of family,

friends and most doctors! Words permeate our soul and mind – the part of us

where our “belief & hope†is kept. Uncharitable or uninformed words can

literally speak life or death to one with cancer. It is very difficult for a

person to focus on getting well when having to deal with the uneducated

“words†of those around him/her. On the other hand, I have also seen some

with cancer who are able to “act†the part of being up-beat and positive.

They seemingly “say†all the right words. Many of these are men although I

have seen quite a few very convincing female actors. However, it doesn’t take

long to realize that these “actors†don’t believe one word that they are

saying because their actions end up betraying them. I think they are trying

desperately to convince themselves of something that their heart has no

intention of believing.

There was a time before my diagnosis when I would have bristled at the mere

mention of an emotional aspect to cancer. In my opinion that was la-la land

reserved for the weird people. See how much work I had to do? ) However, the

power of belief is alive and well even in conventional medicine. Ever watch sick

people walk into the examining room and then watch them come out with a script

in their hand? Their walk and body language is much, much different, almost

up-beat. When a person really believes and has hope that is nourished……the

sky is the limit!

Thanks, , for sharing.

Be Well

Loretta

-----Original Message-----

At 07:02 PM 1/25/2009, you wrote:

I have seen thousands of people with cancer over decades and because

of the nature of my program I get to know many of them quite well. I

constantly search for factors that seem to affect outcomes. Some

factors are obvious: Can the patient afford the requisite meds? How

disciplined is the patient? Is there multiple drug resistance that

would undermine a fresh approach?

When I go over the numbers of people who do extremely well with the

worst cancers, I see a major factor that can't be characterized

better than by saying how upbeat they are. This upbeatness seems to

be closely associated with both their intrinsic nature and often

their religion.

If anyone on the list is shopping for a religion, I can help. Pick

one that emphasizes the positive. I don't think it is beneficial to

dwell on perdition, shame, guilt, or even too much thinking about

spiritual matters. Pick a religion that strongly emphasizes service

to others. Pick a religion with a sense of community -- especially a

community that will support your medical choices. I see a sense of

joy, and humor, and general upbeatness that I don't see elsewhere.

If religions rub you the wrong way, find an organization that you

believe in that stresses service to others even though those services

are largely limited to those within the group. AA jumps to mind. If

your organization or religion doesn't buy into

alternative/integrative medicine, then keep details of your approach

to health very selective.

Another thing to keep in mind is that not all cancer support groups

are created equal. I have had many clients who were virtual refugees

from conventional support groups. They would watch as their

new-found friends would die one by one. Any alternative suggestions

were met with hostility. I think such groups are cults created to

worship physicians and misery. The same is true for some of the

on-line groups.

If upbeatness is not a part of your nature it can still be attained

obliquely through service, but there is one type of upbeatness that

is not in your interest. This is unwarranted ebullience. It is not

in your interest to have your emotions whipsawed by numbers on your

tumor marker tests or any other single parameter. In cancer, things

are rarely as good as they may seem and rarely as bad as they

seem. A certain equanimity can serve you well in patiently assessing

your situation.

Equally important is belief, as this allows you to relax. That

belief can be a belief in an omnipotent God who loves you enormously,

or it can be an unshakable faith in the road chosen, it can even be a

smug belief that you can solve every problem yourself.

I think that loving your work helps inoculate you against serious

disease. We have a 75 y/o immunologist on the board of our center

who has metastatic renal cancer. This was diagnosed four years

ago. He was told he had about a month to live. He is not a good

patient. Quality of life, he says. I think he has cheese with every

meal. He is totally distracted by his work. He flies around the

world giving speeches at immunology conferences, spends time in the

lab, writes papers (some 350 peer-reviewed), and applies for

grants. He and I have set up a new lab to make meds that are

otherwise unobtainable. I think he plans to be on this planet from

here on out. He is one very upbeat man.

I had a case of a woman with breast cancer whose abdomen was rigid

with metastases. She came to Del Mar, CA to do our program, but she

would miss appointments because she was having too much fun

shopping. It was a little frustrating for me. Her cancer just

melted away. I found out later that when she came here she was also

escaping an abusive husband. When she kept her appointments she

would spend much of the time laughing.

There was a woman who came to me last July. She had massive cancers

filling her entire left breast. All her physicians -- both

conventional and integrative -- strongly recommended surgery. She

declined. She said she liked her breasts. This woman has been very

diligent doing the program -- unlike the last woman I mentioned. We

had an ultrasound elastogram done this week and her cancer is almost

entirely gone. What little remains appears mostly benign and cannot

be palpated. She has also lost about 40 unwanted pounds thanks to

the diet. The woman is a nationally known cartoonist and sees the

humor in almost anything.

Who are the losers in spite of winning therapies? First of all those

who want to die. I see this most often among women who were once

very proud of their bodies and have been horribly mutilated by

surgery. I am not talking about a simple mastectomy. There are

bodies that look like they have been through a war zone. These women

fear rejection or have been rejected by their love interest. It is

sad and I have no facile solution.

Passive or lazy people tend to lose and this includes those who are

too philosophical about their cancer. These people need to learn

that they create their own destiny. I am always looking for ways to

light a fire under their tails to get them motivated.

Hostile people tend to lose. I am careful to distinguish whether a

person is argumentative for non-hostile reasons. I once had a woman

whom I thought was hostile but she did very well. You learn from

those cases that you think you are going to win and then lose, and

from those cases that you think you are going to lose and then

win. I analyzed her case: why did she win? It turns out she is a

businesswoman and her arguments were always over money. Her

arguments over money were sincere -- she truly hated to spend money

-- but in retrospect I think there was a strong element of sport in

it. So often truly hostile people want to escape something or hurt

someone. Some people fight to live; I think this woman lived to fight !!!

If anyone knows a good service-oriented, non-accusatory religion, let

me know so I can sign up. Oh, its gotta have a Black choir !!

[Guest guest]

Joanne,

This is so sad that they would think you would make this up. My heavens..

People don't you know? I am so sorry they are this way. Probably one time

out of many when you needed your family with you and on your side.

((((( Hugs )))))

From: thewfamily

Loretta,

My mother disowned me the day I called her to tell her the brain tumor was gone

(yes, without surgery, chemo or radiation). she just hung up on me and I have

not heard from her in 9 years.

My father, his wife, my brother and sister cut contact with me when I was

initially diagnosed at 23 years old and I did not hear from them for 13 years.

Now, they never talk about my health. They believe this is all a farce.

My mother-in-law shared that she hoped that I would die quickly. My husband's

family never offered any encouragement or support EVER.

It took me years to be able to accept that my fight will be God, my husband, my

children and me. No one else!

This list kept me going for years because I needed to know that the path I was

choosing was similar to others.

Sadly, I did not meet any people with brain tumors that stayed the course. I

still believed and worked hard and here I am, cancer/tumor-free!

Blessings,

Johanne

[Guest guest]

My sister, a nurse who served for awhile as an oncologist nurse,

tried to do terrible things to me and my family upon hearing of my

terminal diagnosis. She tried to take away our children, tried to

bust up our marriage, tried to convince me that I had only weeks to

live, offered support and then withdrew it completely at a point to

cause maximal damage, and then tried to " poison the well " for all

other forms of support for me.

I hear from other relatives that she is convinced that I am conning

everybody because I haven't dropped dead yet.

>

> I have seen thousands of people with cancer over decades and

because

>

> of the nature of my program I get to know many of them quite well.

I

>

> constantly search for factors that seem to affect outcomes. Some

>

> factors are obvious: Can the patient afford the requisite meds? How

>

> disciplined is the patient? Is there multiple drug resistance that

>

> would undermine a fresh approach?

>

> When I go over the numbers of people who do extremely well with the

>

> worst cancers, I see a major factor that can't be characterized

>

> better than by saying how upbeat they are. This upbeatness seems to

>

> be closely associated with both their intrinsic nature and often

>

> their religion.

>

> If anyone on the list is shopping for a religion, I can help. Pick

>

> one that emphasizes the positive. I don't think it is beneficial to

>

> dwell on perdition, shame, guilt, or even too much thinking about

>

> spiritual matters. Pick a religion that strongly emphasizes service

>

> to others. Pick a religion with a sense of community -- especially

a

>

> community that will support your medical choices. I see a sense of

>

> joy, and humor, and general upbeatness that I don't see elsewhere.

>

> If religions rub you the wrong way, find an organization that you

>

> believe in that stresses service to others even though those

services

>

> are largely limited to those within the group. AA jumps to mind. If

>

> your organization or religion doesn't buy into

>

> alternative/integrative medicine, then keep details of your

approach

>

> to health very selective.

>

> Another thing to keep in mind is that not all cancer support groups

>

> are created equal. I have had many clients who were virtual

refugees

>

> from conventional support groups. They would watch as their

>

> new-found friends would die one by one. Any alternative suggestions

>

> were met with hostility. I think such groups are cults created to

>

> worship physicians and misery. The same is true for some of the

>

> on-line groups.

>

> If upbeatness is not a part of your nature it can still be attained

>

> obliquely through service, but there is one type of upbeatness that

>

> is not in your interest. This is unwarranted ebullience. It is not

>

> in your interest to have your emotions whipsawed by numbers on your

>

> tumor marker tests or any other single parameter. In cancer, things

>

> are rarely as good as they may seem and rarely as bad as they

>

> seem. A certain equanimity can serve you well in patiently

assessing

>

> your situation.

>

> Equally important is belief, as this allows you to relax. That

>

> belief can be a belief in an omnipotent God who loves you

enormously,

>

> or it can be an unshakable faith in the road chosen, it can even be

a

>

> smug belief that you can solve every problem yourself.

>

> I think that loving your work helps inoculate you against serious

>

> disease. We have a 75 y/o immunologist on the board of our center

>

> who has metastatic renal cancer. This was diagnosed four years

>

> ago. He was told he had about a month to live. He is not a good

>

> patient. Quality of life, he says. I think he has cheese with every

>

> meal. He is totally distracted by his work. He flies around the

>

> world giving speeches at immunology conferences, spends time in the

>

> lab, writes papers (some 350 peer-reviewed), and applies for

>

> grants. He and I have set up a new lab to make meds that are

>

> otherwise unobtainable. I think he plans to be on this planet from

>

> here on out. He is one very upbeat man.

>

> I had a case of a woman with breast cancer whose abdomen was rigid

>

> with metastases. She came to Del Mar, CA to do our program, but she

>

> would miss appointments because she was having too much fun

>

> shopping. It was a little frustrating for me. Her cancer just

>

> melted away. I found out later that when she came here she was also

>

> escaping an abusive husband. When she kept her appointments she

>

> would spend much of the time laughing.

>

> There was a woman who came to me last July. She had massive cancers

>

> filling her entire left breast. All her physicians -- both

>

> conventional and integrative -- strongly recommended surgery. She

>

> declined. She said she liked her breasts. This woman has been very

>

> diligent doing the program -- unlike the last woman I mentioned. We

>

> had an ultrasound elastogram done this week and her cancer is

almost

>

> entirely gone. What little remains appears mostly benign and cannot

>

> be palpated. She has also lost about 40 unwanted pounds thanks to

>

> the diet. The woman is a nationally known cartoonist and sees the

>

> humor in almost anything.

>

> Who are the losers in spite of winning therapies? First of all

those

>

> who want to die. I see this most often among women who were once

>

> very proud of their bodies and have been horribly mutilated by

>

> surgery. I am not talking about a simple mastectomy. There are

>

> bodies that look like they have been through a war zone. These

women

>

> fear rejection or have been rejected by their love interest. It is

>

> sad and I have no facile solution.

>

> Passive or lazy people tend to lose and this includes those who are

>

> too philosophical about their cancer. These people need to learn

>

> that they create their own destiny. I am always looking for ways to

>

> light a fire under their tails to get them motivated.

>

> Hostile people tend to lose. I am careful to distinguish whether a

>

> person is argumentative for non-hostile reasons. I once had a woman

>

> whom I thought was hostile but she did very well. You learn from

>

> those cases that you think you are going to win and then lose, and

>

> from those cases that you think you are going to lose and then

>

> win. I analyzed her case: why did she win? It turns out she is a

>

> businesswoman and her arguments were always over money. Her

>

> arguments over money were sincere -- she truly hated to spend money

>

> -- but in retrospect I think there was a strong element of sport in

>

> it. So often truly hostile people want to escape something or hurt

>

> someone. Some people fight to live; I think this woman lived to

fight !!!

>

> If anyone knows a good service-oriented, non-accusatory religion,

let

>

> me know so I can sign up. Oh, its gotta have a Black choir !!

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Well, I had to learn to find acceptance elsewhere. This was in the making my

whole childhood. Sadly, my husband's family ended up the same way.

So now, nobody knows how to relate to me. I am here, well and thriving and they

are left with their own hurtful words.

It grew compassion and empathy in me for people in the same situation. I had it

but now, I feel very close to people that fight this.

Hugs,

Johanne

From: natalie

Sent: Tuesday, January 27, 2009 6:53 PM

Subject: Re: [ ] Who recovers, who loses

Joanne,

This is so sad that they would think you would make this up. My heavens..

People don't you know? I am so sorry they are this way. Probably one time

out of many when you needed your family with you and on your side.

((((( Hugs )))))

From: thewfamily

Loretta,

My mother disowned me the day I called her to tell her the brain tumor was gone

(yes, without surgery, chemo or radiation). she just hung up on me and I have

not heard from her in 9 years.

My father, his wife, my brother and sister cut contact with me when I was

initially diagnosed at 23 years old and I did not hear from them for 13 years.

Now, they never talk about my health. They believe this is all a farce.

My mother-in-law shared that she hoped that I would die quickly. My husband's

family never offered any encouragement or support EVER.

It took me years to be able to accept that my fight will be God, my husband, my

children and me. No one else!

This list kept me going for years because I needed to know that the path I was

choosing was similar to others.

Sadly, I did not meet any people with brain tumors that stayed the course. I

still believed and worked hard and here I am, cancer/tumor-free!

Blessings,

Johanne

[Guest guest]

Hi Johanne. I'm sorry to hear about how your family treated you.

Cancer is a strange being that turns some away from us, and brings us

closer to others.

ar

--

Arlyn Grant

arlynsg@...

[Guest guest]

Jim,

I'm sorry this has happened to you.

People are weird.

When I tell those in another group who are opposed to all alternative

cancer treatments that some treatments really do work. Their comment is

that people claiming success must not really have cancer, or they are

lying. And my favorite, the success must be due to the chemo they had

years before.

I know that for many, these stupid comments are made out of fear. I

just don't get it.

ar

On Wed, 28 Jan 2009 02:03:16 -0000, " jrrjim " <jim.mcelroy10@...>

said:

> My sister, a nurse who served for awhile as an oncologist nurse,

> tried to do terrible things to me and my family upon hearing of my

> terminal diagnosis. She tried to take away our children, tried to

> bust up our marriage, tried to convince me that I had only weeks to

> live, offered support and then withdrew it completely at a point to

> cause maximal damage, and then tried to " poison the well " for all

> other forms of support for me.

>

> I hear from other relatives that she is convinced that I am conning

> everybody because I haven't dropped dead yet.

>

--

Arlyn Grant

arlynsg@...

[Guest guest]

Ar, you are so sensitive and kind. Thanks for this.

Johanne

From: Arlyn Grant

Sent: Wednesday, January 28, 2009 12:58 AM

Subject: Re: [ ] Who recovers, who loses

Hi Johanne. I'm sorry to hear about how your family treated you.

Cancer is a strange being that turns some away from us, and brings us

closer to others.

ar

--

Arlyn Grant

arlynsg@...